National
A Pride wish list for Obama
Advocates seek action on marriage, immigration, job bias
President Obama (Blade file photo by Michael Key)
With Pride celebrations underway around the country — and the 2012 presidential campaign looming — many are pushing the Obama administration to take action on LGBT-related promises before time runs out on his term.
Executive action from the president is seen as the best — if not only — way to address the issues facing the LGBT community now that Republican control of the U.S. House has legislative progress unlikely for at least two years.
The Washington Blade asked several LGBT organizations for their views on the No. 1 thing they want to see from Obama before the end of his first term in office. Responses range from taking action to eliminate anti-LGBT bias in employment to taking steps to support marriage rights for same-sex couples.
Fred Sainz, vice president of communications for the Human Rights Campaign, said an executive order from Obama prohibiting the federal government from contracting with companies that don’t have non-discrimination policies protecting their LGBT workers is a priority for his organization.
“We would very much like to see the president put in place an executive order that obliges federal contractors to add sexual orientation and gender identity to their nondiscrimination protections,” Sainz said. “On the heels of a successful certification of [‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’] repeal, this would be an important priority for the president’s first term.”
An executive order barring government contractors from discriminating against LGBT employees has been seen as an alternative to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act — legislation that would bar anti-LGBT bias in most situations in the public and private workforce — while Republicans are in control of the House. The White House hasn’t said whether Obama would be open to issuing such a directive.
Job discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is legal in 29 states and legal in 36 states on the basis of gender identity. More than 85 percent of Fortune 500 companies already have their own workplace protections based on sexual orientation and more than one-third on the basis of gender identity.
Sainz also referenced the lingering “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law, which prohibits openly gay people from serving in the U.S. military. In December, legislation was signed allowing an end to the military’s gay ban, but “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” won’t be off the books until 60 days after the president, the defense secretary and the chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff certify that the U.S. military is ready for repeal.
Pentagon leaders have testified before Congress that certification could happen mid-summer. Supporters of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal have called on Defense Secretary Robert Gates to signal the OK for open service before his retirement on June 30 because they fear waiting beyond that time would lead to extended delays.
Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, said the top action that his organization wants to see from Obama is an endorsement of marriage rights for same-sex couples.
“Having the president embrace the freedom to marry clearly and authentically, explaining to reachable-but-not-yet reached Americans why marriage matters and how he came to support an end to marriage discrimination is the No. 1 thing Freedom to Marry wants to see from President Obama before the end of his first term,” Wolfson said.
Obama has said he’s “wrestling” with the idea of same-sex marriage, but has yet to come out in support of marriage equality and has said civil unions represent the best way to advance relationship recognition for same-sex couples.
White House spokesperson Shin Inouye issued a statement to the Blade recapping the administration’s LGBT-related accomplishments.
“President Obama is proud of the accomplishments he and his administration have made to advance LGBT rights,” Inouye said. “Working with Congress, we have passed and signed into law a repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ and an inclusive hate crimes bill.
“Through Presidential Memoranda, the president has extended benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, and the Department of Health and Human Services now requires all hospitals receiving Medicare or Medicaid funds to allow visitation rights for LGBT patients. … These are just some of the many examples of the steps we’ve taken so far and we look forward to continuing to make progress in the months and years ahead.”
Other LGBT organizations had their own priorities on which they want to see Obama take action before the end of his first term.
Steve Ralls, spokesperson for Immigration Equality, said his organization wants a moratorium on the deportations of foreign nationals who are in legally recognized same-sex marriages with U.S. citizens and be eligible for marriage-based green cards for residency if not for the Defense of Marriage Act.
“Immigration Equality’s top priority for the administration is suspension of the deportations that are tearing LGBT families apart every single day,” Ralls said. “Our legal team is currently working with families, on both coasts and in the heartland, who will be separated before the summer is over, unless the Obama administration takes action now.”
Under current immigration law, straight Americans can sponsor their spouses if they’re foreign nationals for residency in the United States. That same path isn’t available to gay Americans in same-sex marriages because DOMA prohibits the federal recognition of their unions — leaving their spouses subject to deportation.
Ralls said “clear legal precedent” exists for halting these deportations and said the president should direct the Department of Homeland Security and the Justice Department to take that action.
“The most fundamental freedom Americans should be able to count on is the freedom to share our homes, and our lives, with the people we love,” Ralls said. “The families we hear from every day need the president to act — not just before the end of his first term — but now. Every day that passes without any action means another family torn apart.”
Pushing the president to stop these deportations could be an uphill battle. White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has indicated that Obama believes legislative action on immigration issues is needed — as opposed to administrative action — and “he can’t just wave a wand and change the law.”
Shannon Cuttle, director of the D.C.-based Safe Schools Action Network, said she wants Obama to guide anti-bullying and anti-harassment legislation with enumerated protections for LGBT students into passage. Pending bills that would address this issue are the Student Non-Discrimination Act and the Safe Schools Improvement Act.
“By the end of President Obama’s first term in office, many LGBT youth who have been inspired and looked up to his presidency with hope and change will come of age to be able to vote in the next election,” Cuttle said. “We need to make inclusive safe schools with protections for all students a priority such as with the passage SNDA and SSIA because without doing so we are failing the next generation of leaders of our country and community.”
Advocates are hoping that anti-bullying measures protecting LGBT students could find their way to Obama’s desk even with Republicans in control of the House. Obama has called for education reform legislation to reach his desk before the beginning of the next school year and LGBT rights supporters are seeking inclusion of SNDA and SSIA as part of this larger vehicle.
However, Obama hasn’t enumerated support for LGBT-specific protections as part of education reform, which would reauthorize the Elementary & Secondary Education Act, although he’s said the larger vehicle should ensure safe schools for students.
Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, took a broader approach in what she wants to see from Obama by the end of his first term.
“It is very simple: President Obama needs to recognize our full lives and humanity,” Carey said. “That includes recognizing our families, our marriages, our right to serve openly, the immigration challenges facing LGBT people, as well as many other hardships caused by discrimination.”
Carey said the Task Force also wants to “see significant progress on additional policies” as part of the New Beginning Initiative coalition — a group of organizations working to enact policy changes within the administration — to ensure federal agencies are accommodating LGBT people.
Additionally, Carey said legislative priorities for her organization — LGBT-related or otherwise — remain a priority for her organization even with Republicans in control of the House.
“And while Congress is less-than-friendly terrain right now, we fully expect the president to exercise leadership in protecting Social Security and advocating for the DREAM Act and employment protections,” Carey added.
The full text of Inouye’s statement follows:
“President Obama is proud of the accomplishments he and his Administration have made to advance LGBT rights. Working with Congress, we have passed and signed into law a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and an inclusive hate crimes bill. Through Presidential Memoranda, the President has extended benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, and the Department of Health and Human Services now requires all hospitals receiving Medicare or Medicaid funds to allow visitation rights for LGBT patients. In other areas, the Department of Labor has clarified that the Family Medical Leave Act ensures that LGBT parents can provide care for their children in the event of illness; the State Department has taken steps to ensure that transgender applicants can obtain, under certain conditions, passports that accurately reflect their gender; and the Department of Housing and Urban Development has proposed new regulations to ensure that housing programs are open to all persons regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. On the issue of bullying of LGBT youth, the President, Vice President and other Administration officials recorded “It Gets Better” videos; the President and First Lady Michelle Obama hosted the White House Conference on Bullying Prevention; the Department of Education issued guidance to support educators in combating bullying in schools by clarifying when student bullying may violate federal education anti-discrimination laws; and we continue to believe that students should learn in environments free from discrimination, bullying and harassment. The Office of Personnel Management, through its Equal Employment Opportunity statement, has clarified that gender identity is a prohibited basis of discrimination in federal employment. These are just some of the many examples of the steps we’ve taken so far and we look forward to continuing to make progress in the months and years ahead.”
CORRECTION: An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated that job discrimination on the basis of the gender identity is allowed in 38 states. The Washington Blade regrets the error.
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
Cuba
Trans parent charged with kidnapping, allegedly fled to Cuba with child
Cuban authorities helped locate Rose Inessa-Ethington
Federal authorities have charged a transgender woman with kidnapping after she allegedly fled to Cuba with her 10-year-old child.
An affidavit that Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Jennifer Waterfield filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Utah on April 16 notes the child is a “biological male who identifies as a female” and “splits time living with divorced parents who share custody” in Cache County, Utah.
Waterfield notes the child on March 28 “was supposed to be traveling by car to” Calgary, Alberta, “for a planned camping trip with his transgender mother, Rose Inessa-Ethington, Rose’s partner, Blue Inessa-Ethington, and Blue’s 3-year-old child.”
The affidavit notes the group instead flew from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Mexico City on March 29. Waterfield writes the Inessa-Ethingtons and the two children then flew from Mérida, Mexico, to Havana on April 1.
The 10-year-old child called her biological mother on March 28 after they arrived in Canada. The custody agreement, according to the affidavit, required Rose Inessa-Ethington to return the child to her former spouse on April 3.
“Interviews of MV [Minor Victim] 1’s family members provided significant concerns for MV 1’s well-being, as MV 1 was born a male, however, identifies as a female child, which is largely believed to be due to manipulation by Rose Inessa-Ethington,” reads the affidavit. “Concerns exist that MV 1 was transported to Cuba for gender reassignment surgery prior to puberty.”
The affidavit indicates authorities found a note in the Inessa-Ethingtons’ home with “instruction from a mental health therapist located in Washington, D.C., including instruction to send the therapist the $10,000.00 and instructions on gender-affirming medical care for children.”
The affidavit does not identify the specific “mental health therapist” in D.C.
A Utah judge on April 13 ordered Rose Inessa-Ethington to “immediately” return the child to her former spouse. The former spouse also received sole custody.
“Your affiant believes that due to the extensive planning and preparation exhibited by both Rose Inessa-Ethington and Blue Inessa-Ethington to isolate MV 1 and take MV 1 to Havana, Cuba, without notifying or requesting permission from MV 1’s mother indicates they are likely not planning to return to the United States,” wrote Waterfield.
The affidavit notes Cuban authorities found the Inessa-Ethingtons and the child.
A press release the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Utah issued notes the Inessa-Ethingtons “were deported from Cuba” on Monday “with the assistance of the FBI.”
The couple has been charged with International Parental Kidnapping. The Inessa-Ethingtons were arraigned in Richmond, Va., on Monday. The press release notes a federal court in Salt Lake City will soon handle the case.
The New York Times reported the child is now back with their biological mother.
“We are grateful to law enforcement for working swiftly to return the child to the biological mother,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Melissa Holyoak of the District of Utah in the press release.
The case is unfolding against the backdrop of increased tensions between Washington and Havana after U.S. forces on Jan. 3 seized now former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores.
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. A second White House directive banned federally-funded gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.
The U.S. Supreme Court last year in the Skrmetti decision upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors.
Cuba’s national health care system has offered free sex-reassignment surgeries since 2008.
Activists who are critical of Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro who spearheads LGBTQ issues as director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education, have previously told the Washington Blade that access to these procedures is limited. The Blade on Wednesday asked a contact in Havana to clarify whether Cuban law currently allows minors to undergo sex-reassignment surgery.
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