Living
Gates urged to certify ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal before retirement
SECDEF set to leave position at June’s end

Supporters of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal are calling for imminent action to implement open service in the U.S. military before Defense Secretary Robert Gates leaves his position at the end of this month.
Advocates of open service say delaying certification for repeal after Gates retires on June 30 could unnecessarily add to the time before “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is off the books.
Aubrey Sarvis, executive director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, said certification is essential this month before Gates leaves his duties at the Pentagon.
“I think that we need to get certification this month before Secretary Gates leaves,” Sarvis said. “My fear is we’re seeing an overabundance of caution here. If it doesn’t happen this month on Secretary Gates’ watch, I think we could easily be looking at another month or two before certification.”
Alex Nicholson, executive director of Servicemembers United, said the passing the opportunity for implementing repeal would be a “very unwise” move for Gates and predicted that certification would happen this month.
“I find it hard to believe that it’s not going to be [Gates],” Nicholson said. “I believe it’s going to happen this month. Everybody all along has always said ā with maybe 90 percent certainty that if you had to make a prediction, it would come in mid to late June. If it doesn’t you’re certainly going to see us get very worried and get very vocal.”
Under the repeal law that President Obama signed in December, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” won’t be off the books until 60 days pass after the president, the defense secretary and the chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff certify the military is ready for open service. Gates has said he won’t issue certification until the armed forces have been trained in handling open service and the military service chiefs say they’re comfortable moving forward.
Waiting for certification after Gates retires, advocates said, could further delay “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal because Leon Panetta, the incoming defense secretary who currently serves as CIA director, may want to examine the issue further before signaling the military is ready for open service.
Sarvis said a scenario in which Panetta would assume his position as defense secretary and within matter of weeks say the armed forces are ready for certification is “highly unlikely.”
“I think that he would want to spend some time with the chiefs and with the troops to make a thorough analysis of the situation,” Sarvis said. “I don’t think that’s something you can do in a matter of days.”
Nicholson echoed concerns that Panetta may want to hold off on certifying repeal to get his bearings straight in Pentagon upon taking office as defense secretary.
“I could imagine a scenario in which Panetta wouldn’t do it immediately ā not because he sees it as as problem and wants to delay it ā but because he’s just sort of taking the lay of the land in and getting updates and briefings and trying to wrap his mind around everything, not just [‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’],” Nicholson said.
Spokespersons for the White House and the Joint Staff gave assurances the process toward certification is moving ahead, but didn’t commit to pledging it would happen this month.
Shin Inouye, a White House spokesperson, said President Obama is working with Gates and Chair of Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Mike Mullen as they prepare and gave reassurances the president would make it happen this year.
“Heās been in close contact with the Pentagon to ensure that certification occurs as soon as possible, consistent with the standards set forth in the bill,” Inouye said. “Certification and implementation will happen whomever serves as secretary of defense. As you heard him say in the State of the Union, itās going to happen this year.”
Capt. John Kirby, a Mullen spokesperson, said his boss will consult the military service chiefs before moving forward with repeal.
“He plans on certifying only when the chiefs have assured them they are ready,” Kirby said.
Eileen Lainez, a Pentagon spokesperson, noted that defense officials previously testified before Congress that the Pentagon is “looking at mid-summer for certification,” but didn’t have further information on an expected time.
But Sarvis underscored the urgency of repealing of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” by saying service members are still facing discharge under the law ā even though new rules have been implemented making expulsion under the law difficult.
In October, the the Defense Department raised the authority for executing discharges to the civilian secretaries of the military branches “in coordination” with the undersecretary of defense for personnel and readiness and the Pentagon’s general counsel.
But Sarvis said SLDN has several clients under investigation under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and knows of two service members this month who are going before administrative board hearings which in likelihood will result in recommendation for discharge. Others service members may also be in danger of separation, Sarvis said, because not all troops facing expulsion under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” come to SLDN.
Last week, Metro Weekly broke news that a member of the Air Force was discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” although the airman was apparently seeking expulsion from the military because he wrote a letter to the Air Force secretary asking for separation.
“We’re talking about the reality that ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is still the law and service members are still being investigated,” Sarvis said. “I think it’s fine for the services to be measured in planning for certification but it also has to be in the context of service members are being investigated and discharged under ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.'”
Despite calls for certification, training for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal in the armed forces is still underway for some services. The briefings for service members on open service have been taking place since February after the leaders of the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps issued guidance on the preparation for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.
But even with the training underway, Sarvis said defense leaders have no reasons to put off certification because all the services ā with the exception of the Army ā have made sufficient progress in their training goals to implement “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal. Notably, the Marine Corps was set to complete the training for the entire service by June 1.
The Army is made up of nearly 548,000 service members and the largest service in the armed forces, so training for this service is expected to take longer than either the Navy, Air Force or Marine Corps. Training for the active component of the Army isn’t set for completion until July 15 and for the reserve component isn’t set for Aug. 15.
However, Sarvis said the Army has made sufficient progress in training to allow for the implementation of open service in the service because more than half of the service has already been trained in implementing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.
“It’s very hard to make the case for additional month or two before certification takes place,” Sarvis said. “We’re in ‘Month Six.’ Most of the troops have received their training. This culture change has been discussed in varying stages of planning for over a year now, so it’s time to get on with it.”
Nicholson also said training in the armed forces will “be overwhelming done” by the end of June, which he said should enable the president and defense leaders to give the OK for open service.
“Given that the overwhelming majority of people are going to be trained by the point, I just can’t see any rationale for extending it out,” Nicholson said.
Although repeal advocates fear waiting certification after this month could cause unnecessary delays, supporters of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” predict Panetta would be amenable to the change even though he may take more time to sign off on open service.
The Washington Blade was unable to find recent public statements Panetta made on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” or gays in the military.
However, Sarvis said he thinks Panetta would support open service based on what he’s heard from people who’ve worked with him at the CIA, in Congress or the private sector.
“What we’ve seen and what we’ve heard is that new secretary will be welcoming of gay and lesbian service members,” Sarvis said. “There will be effective and smooth implementation on his watch.”
It’s also possible that Chair of Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Mike Mullen could step down from his position before he issues certification for repeal. However, Mullen isn’t set to leave his role until his term expires on Sept. 30, so certification would be delayed significantly beyond expectations if it hasn’t happened by that time.
Real Estate
Navigating D.C.ās down payment assistance programs
On the way home, after a detour and a few speed bumps

D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance that are managed by the Greater Washington Urban League and the DC Housing Finance Authority, for programs like HPAP and EAHP (Home Purchase Assistance Program and Employer Assisted Housing Program).
The District also offers the DC Opens Doors Program. All of these are great examples of offerings to help first-time or newer home purchasers to afford buying in the District of Columbia, one of the nationās most expensive housing markets.
There are various requirements for a buyer to use the program. These can be found at dhcd.dc.gov/service/homeownership. Many qualified local lenders are knowledgeable about these programs and can assist in dozens of these transactions each year. Often, asking a lender about these programs is a great place to start. Tina Del Casale with Sandy Spring Bank has been helping her clients with these programs for years. As part of her education outreach for clients, Tina informs her buyers of the following:
- In the HPAP and the EAHP program, the seller must provide the opportunity for the buyer to perform a home inspection with a qualified home inspector. Ā
- The items that are flagged as āmust repairsā need to be fixed by the seller. Ā
- The buyer must get their financial documentation to the lenders involved, as well as to the District of Columbia to be approved to use the program. Ā
- Whichever organization or department is managing the down payment assistance fund disbursal will also be involved in the process.Ā
- Ideally, it takes about 45-60 days from the date of ratification (going under contract) to close (the settlement date)Ā
- The lenders help to qualify/approve the condo buildings for financial health, ensuring that the finances within the building are being maintained by the homeowner association.
What happens, often, is that the process goes smoothly until the organization that manages the down payment assistance funds receives the file. The closing date can be extended time and time again, causing both the buyer and the seller to recalculate moving dates, moving trucks, packing, when to move funds around, whose home they will be sleeping at after the 3rd or 4th delay, and wondering if the seller is going to become so agitated with the entire process that they begin to Google search the term āsmall claims court.ā In a recent instance, the buyer was delayed about four times over the holidays and when the file was ready to close, they were informed that the settlement had to be the following day. So, it was a situation of delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, and do this NOW, which means a buyer must coordinate (for the maybe 3rd time) a day off of work and recalculate their entire schedule at the last second to accommodate an organization that seems to have made few efforts to stay in communication along the way.
These delays make the buyer less competitive to win an offer and can make a planned purchase fail due to the failure of the buyer to perform. Nobody wants to be told their house will sell and then must make alternative plans when they realize the contract is not going through, OR there will be a significant delay by up to one to three months.
How can we make this process more user friendly? If we could, developers might be more motivated to make affordable housing units available for more people, knowing that the process of selling a unit wonāt cause interminable delays and headaches for all parties involved. Buyers must be fully vetted financially before submitting an offer. Is there a way to fully vet the down payment assistance funds, that they arrive in escrow at the title company a week or two before settlement so that all parties can plan their lives accordingly?
Self-awareness as an organization is crucial for knowing where blind spots exist, how they can be looked at, and how a decent process can be improved to fulfill its own goal of helping buyers get into homeownership. Perhaps an exit interview or feedback form could be sent to each buyer after purchase and looked at for suggestions for improvement.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.Ā Reach him at 703-587-0597 orĀ [email protected].
Real Estate
Tips for those considering buying a home in the Caribbean
Weather, safety, infrastructure among concerns

I recently returned from cruising through the Caribbean, just in time to experience the last vestiges of a snowstorm and 15-degree weather, coupled with a plethora of angry people wearing red hats, absent-mindedly riding around in circles on the Metro. No matter ā I still have that post-vacation glow.
The Caribbean, a diverse region of 13 independent countries, 12 dependencies, and seven overseas territories, has long been a dream destination for travelers, retirees, and investors alike. With its crystal-clear waters, pristine beaches, and relaxed lifestyle, it’s no wonder that many people are drawn to the idea of owning property in this tropical paradise.
Buying real estate in the Caribbean requires careful planning, research, and an understanding of the unique challenges and opportunities that come with investing in a foreign market. Selecting the right island and community is a critical step in the buying process.
Consider such factors as:
- Accessibility: Proximity to major airports and ease of travel
- Infrastructure: Availability of roads, utilities, and amenities such as internet and streaming services
- Safety and security: Crime rates and political stability
- Climate and weather risks: Susceptibility to hurricanes and natural disasters
- Healthcare: Quality and availability of medical services
Property prices and inventory vary widely across the region. Each Caribbean nation has its own rules regarding foreign ownership of property. Some countries have relatively open markets where foreigners can buy land freely. Others, such as the Bahamas, require special permits for non-residents purchasing property above a certain value.
It is essential to work with a reputable local attorney to navigate the legal requirements, including landownership laws and restrictions, residency and citizenship options, property taxes and fees, and title searches and due diligence.
Some islands, like Barbados and the Cayman Islands, offer residency permits for property owners who meet specific financial criteria. These programs can provide tax benefits, visa-free travel, long-term residency rights, and in some cases, top-tier medical facilities, including private hospitals and specialized care centers.
Moreover, Antigua & Barbuda,Ā Dominica,Ā Grenada,Ā St. Kitts,Ā andĀ St. Lucia offer a Citizenship by Investment (CBI) program for property buyers: In some cases, citizenship will grant you visa-free access to more than 150 countries. While the costs fluctuate depending on the country, the process can be completed in as little as 7-12 months.Ā
As you can imagine, there has been a surge of inquiries from the U.S. since last fall, so it would be wise to confirm the most recent amount and type of minimum investment required. You can find helpful information from the company La Vida atĀ goldenvisas.com.
Many buyers in the Caribbean look to generate income through vacation rentals or long-term leasing. Islands with strong tourism demand, such as Aruba, the Bahamas, and St. Lucia, offer excellent rental potential.
Working with a reputable property management company can help maximize rental income and ensure smooth operations; however, investors should consider seasonal fluctuations in tourism, property management costs, and local regulations on short-term rentals in determining their return on investment before committing to a purchase.
As in the U.S., buying property in the Caribbean comes with additional costs beyond the purchase price. These may include legal fees (typically 1-3% of the purchase price), stamp duties and transfer taxes that vary by country, real estate agent compensation, property insurance, and maintenance costs.
Financing can be a challenge for foreign buyers, as many Caribbean banks require substantial down payments or have stringent lending criteria. Some investors choose to secure financing from their home country or pay in cash.
Nonetheless, expatriates living in the Caribbean often benefit from a lower cost of living, warm climate, and relaxed lifestyle. Many islands have well-established expat communities, making it easier to adjust to life abroad. As you begin your journey, it is recommended that you secure health insurance that covers medical treatment in both the Caribbean and your home country.
To successfully purchase property in the Caribbean, research and choose your preferred island based on your budget, lifestyle, and investment goals. Work with a local real estate agent who understands the market and legal requirements and, if applicable, speaks the appropriate language. Hire an attorney to conduct a title search, review contracts, and ensure compliance with local laws. Negotiate the purchase price and sign a sales agreement. Secure financing (if needed) and transfer funds.
Once you have completed additional legal requirements such as obtaining permits, paying taxes, and registering the property, you might consider rental or management options if you are not living there full-time.
But if the Caribbean is to be your home away from home for at least a few years, turn off the news, stick an umbrella in your favorite frothy adult beverage, and lean into island living.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.Ā
Advice
My partner wonāt come out to her parents
How to cope when you love someone whoās closeted

Dear Michael:
Iām having a terrible communication problem with my girlfriend. She just isnāt hearing me on some issues that mean a lot.
Nicki doesnāt get why itās important for me that we be out to her parents as a couple. Iāve explained my position over and over. Iām not willing to hide or pretend, and doing so makes things way more complicated down the road, if we stay together. Eventually weād have to explain our lies. Itās crazy to imagine hiding our marriage, or hiding children. More than crazy!
How can you be believable about anything if you arenāt honest about who you are and the nature of your relationship?
Nickiās whole response boils down to her being afraid that her parents will reject her (theyāre deeply religious, conservative). Me trying to explain to her that you canāt let fear run your life just doesnāt penetrate her brain.
As a result I havenāt met her parents yet, and our relationship is a lot more tentative than I would like it to be at this point.
Besides this ābiggie,ā there is one other issue that she just doesnāt get, no matter how much I explain my position: She makes fun of me a lot ā especially when weāre out with friends. About all sorts of things. How I dress (too stereotypically lesbian in her view); my interests (same criticism); my supposed inability to cook; my bad driving; my loving my dog too much. And more.
Nicki either says sheās not making fun of me, or says that sheās just kidding around and I am too serious. The more I ask her to stop, the more she tells me to ālighten up.ā She just isnāt hearing me.
Aside from communication issues around these big topics, we have an otherwise great relationship that I would like to last. However, this stuff isnāt acceptable.
What more can I do to communicate more clearly in a way that she will hear me?
Michael replies:
It sounds like youāre both making your points loud and clear. You criticize Nicki, and Nicki criticizes you.
Communication means that you say what you want to say to your partner, and you listen when she wants to share something. It does not mean that you get your partner to agree with you or behave as you want her to.
Even if you think that Nickiās not being out to her parents is crazy, she doesnāt have to come out to them.
Is Nicki open to the idea of eventually coming out to her parents? Mustering the courage to do so can be a slow process. If Nicki would like to work on this, and you are willing to wait, then stay in the relationship and work on being patient and accepting. But if this is a deal breaker issue now, Nicki is not for you.
While you can continue to try to change Nicki, this tactic doesnāt seem to be getting you anywhere, except annoyed. You have a lot of power over your own behavior, but little power over how your partner behaves. In other words, you get to be with the person you are with; not a hypothetical āimprovedā version that better suits you.
With regard to the teasing issue: I believe that if someone you care about tells you that you are hurting them, itās a good idea to listen. I donāt get why Nicki wants to keep behaving toward you in ways that you find painful. Could it be that all of this is linked?
Perhaps Nicki is hurt or annoyed or angry that you wonāt accept her not being out to her parents; and is getting back at you for your ongoing pestering by torturing you with criticisms and insults. Or, perhaps your hurt, annoyance, and anger over Nickiās ongoing teasing is leading you to retaliate by continually criticizing her closeted status.
Think of your relationship as a system: When one part of a system changes, it impacts the entire system. If either one of you changes your behavior for the better, you will likely have a positive impact on your relationship. Do you want to make the first move, and see what happens?
You might also begin an ongoing discussion with Nicki about the benefits of being respectful toward each other, listening to each other, striving to understand each otherās points of view, and tolerating that you sometimes see both minor and important issues differently.
But only start that discussion if it makes sense to you that having a decent relationship depends on your continually striving to do these things.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].
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