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‘Lights Down Low’ singer MAX stoked for Pride set

Hitmaker on working with Madonna, playing for gay crowds and being a straight ally

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MAX Pride, gay news, Washington Blade

Singer MAX says Pride festivals are his favorite venues to play. (Photo courtesy Crush Music)

Capitol Concert Stage

(3rd & Pennsylvania Ave.)

MCs: Jerry Houston and Destiny B. Childs

1-2 p.m.: Gay Men’s Chorus/Kim Petras

2-3 p.m.: Kristina Kelly and the Cobalt Cast/M AX

3-4 p.m.: Damarcko Price/Ella Fitzgerald/Michi/DJ Twin

4-5 p.m.: Ladies of Town/Mykul Jay Valentine/Freddie’s Follies/The Boy Band Project

5-6 p.m.: DJ Twin/Keri Hilson

6-7 p.m.: Troye Sivan

7-8 p.m.: Asia O’Hara from “RuPaul’s Drag Race”/Alessia Cara

8-10 p.m.: DJ Tracy Young

Dupont Dance Tent

(6th and Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.)

Noon-1 p.m.: DJ Henry Thrill

1-2 p.m: Tim Jackson

2-3 p.m.: DJ Sidekick

3-4 p.m.: Alex DB

4-5 p.m.: DJ Andre Gutarra

5-6 p.m.: DJ Mike Reimer

6-7 p.m.: DJ Strikestone

Monument Festival Stage

(6th and Constitution Ave., N.W.)

Noon-1 p.m.: DJ Jerry Jones/The CooLots

1-2 p.m.: Kristen Ford/Jourdan Frost/Baron/RYALS

2-3 p.m.: Cheer D.C./Chris Urquiaga/Pitches Be Crazy/DJ Henry Thrill

3-4 p.m.: Brody Ray/Billy Winn/Cobalt Pride Idol Winner/D.C. Front Runners/Sub-Radio

4-5 p.m.: Resurrecting Queenz/Niva the Soul Diva/Miss Kelli/SongRise/Shemuwel

5-6 p.m.: DJ Henry Thrill/AhSa-Ti Nu/Chris Chism/PRIMME/Heather Mae

6-7 p.m.: Leonardo Martinez/Dorothy Milone/Alise King/DJ Henry Thrill

Model/actor/singer MAX (aka Max Schneider), 25, didn’t originally think his song “Lights Down Low,” now his signature song, was an obvious single choice from his sophomore solo album, 2016’s “Hell’s Kitchen Angel.”

Four others (“Gibberish,” “Wrong,” “Holla” and “Basement Party”) were released to radio first. “Lights” was released only as a promo single. But a remix of the song featuring singer gnash became a sleeper hit entering the Billboard Hot 100 a year after its release and eventually earning a Gold RIAA certification. It peaked at no. 20 and the video, which features MAX and wife Emily in an elaborate set piece featuring one angle and a couple’s lifetime of married life over many years, was noted for its detail and special effects.

MAX will perform at the Capital Pride Festival/HOT 99.5 concert Sunday at 2 p.m. on the CAPITOL Concert Stage (3rd & Pennsylvania). It’s free but $50 backstage meet-and-greet passes for MAX (with photo opp) are available through capitalpride.org.

MAX spoke to the Blade by phone last week from his home in the Big Apple.

WASHINGTON BLADE: You were doing a photo shoot today?

MAX: Yeah, we had a little photo shoot and then we’re heading into the studio. It’s just a beautiful sunny day doing all the stuff.

BLADE: How did “Lights Down Low” start to gain steam?

MAX: It’s interesting. I always knew it was a really special one and I wanted it to be a single from the beginning but because it’s a ballad and sometimes people are afraid of something that’s not like a surefire uptempo song, it’s maybe a harder sell in some ways. But it was really cool because I always believed in it. It’s the most special song for me, of course, because I wrote it for my wife and proposed to her with it. … People have been slowly coming on board over the last two years and realized that it was, maybe more than the other singles, it was awesome to have that — just people continuing to get the message.

BLADE: But how did it gain traction? When did it first crack the Hot 100?

MAX: It’s been all the little things. It’s everything from my friend gnash joined the song with me about six months after I had released it originally and having him be a part of it brought a new audience to it and it’s all these different things. Amazing people started dancing to it with D-trix and Montana and then people were just putting it out there and listening to it. … Then we had the Snapchat filter worldwide on Valentine’s Day which really just sort of was unbelievable. It really brought it over the edge, which was amazing. So it was like a series of small things of people just believing in it and all of a sudden, everybody kinda knew the song, which was very humbling and amazing.

BLADE: I understand the video was quite elaborate and took months of planning, right?

MAX: Yes indeed. It was six months altogether from conception of the idea. … It was such a long process and a lot of that, probably the biggest thing was fighting for the story to be authentic whether that be because the powers that be in music didn’t want me to be open about my relationship with my wife and wanted me to appear single and whatever else, all the cliches in the music world, and I wanted to make sure people knew the story behind it — that I wrote it for her. And then it was about her being in the actual video. I wanted the song to be true to our story down to wearing exactly what we wore when we got engaged to our actual wedding outfits. … People were like, “Oh, it should be some famous DJ from the Netherlands playing your wife,” and I was like, “Screw that — it should be my actual wife and until everybody is down for that to happen, I’m not gonna make this video.” That’s why it took six months and then like three months to convince everybody to let it be my truth to the vision.

BLADE: You said people were urging you not to be who you were. That’s an interesting phrase — something you’d expect to hear more from a gay singer. What did you mean?

MAX: Oh, 100 percent — totally. Everything from what I was supposed to wear. It’s been a lot of things. Like that, it’s a lot of people being, I guess, being out there. I’m a bit eccentric and outright and an energetic kind of person and sometimes people are afraid of something that’s over the edge whether it’s me painting my nails or wearing sequins or all these different things. Everything from the fashion to the story behind it and that’s definitely been something. That’s the biggest message is people don’t have to like you or like who you love or anything like that as long as you love you and people around you are drawn to you because you’re being yourself. Those are the people you want to be with anyway, not the people who think they’re too cool to hang with you because you know, love who you want to love and wear what you want to wear. Those people suck anyway. They’re boring.

BLADE: So there’s a school of thought that if you’re a hot young singer and you’re married it will pop the fans’ bubble of you being off the market so to speak? Even though the odds of them getting with you would have been one in a million in likelihood, it pops a bubble in their minds knowing you’re married?

MAX: Yes, that was the original fear from the powers that be. But in the end, if I want people who are only loving the music because they think you’re single or you’re on the market — I mean, everybody wants to have that attention, you want as many people to be into your thing as possible, but I’ve accepted that if people aren’t into that because I’m married, then whatever. Are they gonna come to the shows anyway and be the people who are really invested in the music and message and are stoked that to watch my wife and I sort of be a happy couple and have our sort of ups and downs and be open about that? But yeah, that definitely crossed your mind like, “Oh, man — I hope people don’t not listen to my thing just because of that.”

BLADE: Why do you think you have a gay fan base?

MAX: I just think I’ve always been, you know, I grew up in New York City and I went to theater school. I’ve been surrounded by people who are open about their sexuality my entire life so I guess that’s why I’ve always been an ally and an advocate of it because everywhere we go, I’m just always putting that message out there that people should be able to love who they wanna love whether they’re gay, straight, bi, trans or love themselves because when people love themselves and are the most comfortable with themselves, they do the coolest things with their lives and we have a happier world. That’s just something I always believed growing up. It wasn’t until I went to more places where that wasn’t apparent — like I would say what the message of “Lights Down Low” was about before singing it and some places it wouldn’t get applause or people showed no excitement or maybe even I’d get booed or whatever else. That made me realize that being an ally to the community as a straight married man hopefully in my mind that makes some people who aren’t as open minded think, “Well, here’s this straight, married guy, he paints his nails, he looks super flamboyant but he’s a straight married guy, maybe I shouldn’t be such a jerk. Maybe I should accept that people love who they wanna love and they’re amazing people too.” I want people to feel accepted and safe at our shows and with our music. That’s the bottom line always and it’s beautiful that people have been drawn to that. Like last week we had a show and this incredible couple, these amazing females, got engaged at the show and that was just amazing.

BLADE: But what about “Lights Down Low” resonates with LGBT fans in your opinion? The video is very heteronormative.

MAX: It’s totally because of me being so outright supportive of the community. It definitely comes from that. The fight of being open with the truth of your own story has connected with people and I have noticed that which is awesome. I love that people have connected with it regardless of sexual orientation.

BLADE: How was Madonna when you did the (2010) Dolce & Gabbana ad/photo shoot? When she’s working is she friendly, imperious, aloof — what?

MAX: She’s super friendly but also — she knows exactly what she wants. My favorite story was the first shot, she walked in with her coconut water in hand, she hands it to an assistant. She was supposed to be playing my mother so she was teaching me how to dance in the bathroom and I was supposed to be like, “Oh, I’m embarrassed, my mother is teaching me how to dance,” and so she danced with me and she was like, “Why are you making those faces?” And I was like, “I don’t know — I’ll make whatever faces you want me to make, what do you want?” And she grabbed me in the small of the back and she was like, “I’ll teach you how to dance,” and she’s like such a powerhouse. That was sort of the whole day. That story — that’s basically her in a nutshell. There’s kindness there but it’s like her way or the highway and you’re just following her lead and I mean, it was one of the most powerful presences I’ve ever been in. It was really amazing to get that one surreal play date with her. Just awesome.

BLADE: How long did it take? It looked like there were several setups/scenes?

MAX: It was probably 12 hours. I got there like 8 in the morning and I left when it was just getting dark out and it was in the summer so yeah, it was wild. My other favorite story was when we went out in the street we do this shot where I’m carrying groceries and that was unplanned so there was no security for the first time all day. We’re out there and these paparazzi start taking pictures and it’s all crazy and the next day, my dad goes to the gym and picks up a paper and it says on the front page, “Who’s Madonna’s new fetus boyfriend?” And that was why it was so funny. That was her thing. She totally planned it. She knew exactly what she was doing and I was even more impressed that she had learned how to manipulate the media to make sure that her agenda gets out there. That’s a genius skill in itself.

BLADE: And yet you were supposed to be her son in the storyline?

MAX: Exactly. It was based off of this old Italian film but of course it became a little more, I don’t know, not even sexualized — it just sort of morphed into our own thing after a little bit because it was her just like sort of making it her own story which again was such a cool thing about her.

BLADE: How much backstory is usually discussed on shoots like that?

MAX: Sometimes it’s a ton, sometimes it’s like this is the storyline and this is the theme and sometimes it’s all spontaneous. Sometimes the best shots are the ones where it’s just like, “Oh, you’re changing right now — no, wait, like kind of this act of you changing is kind of an amazing shot and you should just like go into that bathroom and we’ll take a shower.” Sometimes the most spontaneous stuff is the most special but the theme stuff is super awesome and that was awesome to have such a laid-out theme for the whole shoot.

BLADE: Did they let you keep the suit?

MAX: No, I wish. I was so bummed they didn’t let me keep any of this stuff. I was just like, “Can I keep these shoes? I just wore them,” and they’re like, “Nah, nah — we’re taking them back.”

BLADE: What’s been the biggest surprise of married life?

MAX: I guess you always kinda think you’re different from everybody else’s story and you’re like, “Oh, we’re gonna be so much different,” but I think in the end it’s just — like I’ve learned even after two years, sometimes it’s hard work to make sure you and your partner are on the same page even when you think you are, sometimes I’m surprised in a way, you know, you feel like this person knows you better than anyone else but then like I forget to tell Emily something and all of a sudden she’s super upset because we’re not on the same page about something. It sucks because it’s the most important person to you, you don’t want to let them down. It’s constant hard work to make sure that you guys are completely together as a team and it’s so important. I guess that surprised me.

BLADE: How did you learn the ukulele?

MAX: I just started playing it in Central Park as a young teen. It’s just something really fun that I love doing, you know? I’m a small-sized person and it’s a small instrument so it was just kind of the perfect thing to combine the two.

BLADE: You play it regularly on your records and in your live show?

MAX: Yeah, yeah, I always incorporate it into both. I always try to do one song live and one on the record like that.

BLADE: What does your pitchfork tattoo symbolize?

MAX: So being from New York, I always kind of represent that acceptance and I like that if you have a symbol and you see somebody else with that same symbol, you know that’s somebody else who has the same beliefs of being who you’re meant to be and accepting people for who they are. And being that I don’t get to be home as much as I’d like, so often I like to make sure that I carry that piece of home with me. I carry that belief, that vision of making sure I don’t fall into other people’s beliefs or accept things that are wrong in the world in other places or that I believe are wrong. That’s sort of the reason it’s so apparent on my arm. I can’t hide it. It’s on my sleeve.

BLADE: Have you played many Pride events before?

MAX: Oh yeah, a ton. I love Pride festivals. They’re the most fabulous humans mostly because of their energy. we just did one in Louisville a couple months ago and there were a couple of slaying drag queens that were just killing the game and it just like erupted on stage and it’s always like, you never know what to expect. It’s just a place for people to be who they are which is why I love performing at them probably more than any other style show because it’s so beautiful to see so many people so excited. Prideful, of course, and just stoked on all the energy of life. Those are the audiences you want to play for, at least for me. People who are just living their best life. I love all that stuff.

BLADE: You have a band or sing with tracks? How long is your set?

MAX: A little bit of both. My partner Ryan, he plays keytar live, we have, you know, talk box, guitar, a lot of fun instruments and then there’s a lot of tracks and stuff too but it’s between 30 minutes and an hour and we like to bring as much energy as possible. I like to call it an emotional party. We got “Lights Down Low,” which kind of gives you the feels, then we do our rendition of “Ms. Jackson,” by OutKast and all the more sort of hyped-up songs like “Holla,” “Basement Party.” I like people forgetting about everything in their own world and falling into this world of the show. That’s always our biggest want to have people just like lose themselves in this environment.

BLADE: Oh, so you’ll be doing some Party Pupils (his side venture with Ryan Siegel) stuff too then?

MAX: Oh yeah, you know it baby. We’re stoked.

BLADE: So is MAX and Party Pupils always sort of running parallel or is one sometimes front burner, the other back burner? How does it roll?

MAX: We try to balance them equally. When MAX was going for radio and stuff like that, it sort of was the leader but since Ryan’s always with me, we try to incorporate Party Pupils as much as possible and bring that funky energy. We got a song called “Sax on the Beach” coming out this Friday which is a Party Pupils record but we play it in the MAX show and try to combine both worlds as much as we can so one doesn’t get lost because it’s hard enough to be committed to your own thing, but it’s a beautiful balance of the two and we’ve been really lucky because we’ve worked so hard and he does such an incredible job producing all the tracks and remixes. So yeah, it’s gonna be a nice mix of both for sure at the show.

BLADE: Can you truthfully say, though, that a sea of gay men out there thinking you’re hot at a Pride event doesn’t weird you out even maybe one or two percent?

MAX: Oh no, not at all. It’s the best. I love the energy. At the last Pride festival, I did have a drag queen give me a real solid butt slap which, you know, don’t slap anybody you don’t know. But other than that, as long as there’s no physical butt slap, I love all the love. I love giving love to everybody. That was definitely a hilarious one, though because she really just grabbed one butt cheek and I was just like, “All right — that’s hilarious, but also, please don’t grab my butt cheek. My wife would not be happy about any human grabbing my butt cheek.”

BLADE: That does sound like a bit much.

MAX: Yeah, it was but as long as it’s not too much, I’m always down with love. I’m a very loving person and it’s beautiful having that transfer of energy.

BLADE: Are your abs always as popping as they look in some of your photos? How do you maintain that?

MAX: I just kind of dance around at shows. I eat a lot of food and I just dance around. I’m sure eventually I’ll have to do a lot more than that, but I just kind of wiggle around and try to keep in shape.

BLADE: Launching this whole career on the indie route but also having success with Billboard and getting radio airplay and so on, have you often bumped up against the industry gatekeepers, like when you referenced the powers that be earlier. What’s that been like?

MAX: No, I just try honestly to give love to people who support us. I think it’s easy to want to suck up to people who can help you but I think you should just take time to be kind to everybody whether they can help you or not. That’s the policy I’ve tried to keep regardless of where things get to. I give love to anybody whether it’s Spotify or Apple or radio stations. If they’re giving us love, I try to give as much as I can back.

MAX says balancing his solo material with his side project Party Pupils keeps him musically stoked. (Photo courtesy Crush Music)

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a&e features

D.C. springs back to life with new, returning events

Cherry blossoms, Rehoboth season kickoff, and more on tap

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D.C.’s annual Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off later this month. (Blade file photo by Marvin Bowser)

Longer and warmer days are back meaning: It’s time to get out of the house and enjoy Washington D.C.’s many events. Below are a few to check out this spring.

The National Museum of Women in the Arts will host “Making their Mark: Works from the Shah Garg Collection” until Sunday, July 26. This exhibition illustrates women artists’ vital role in abstraction, considers historical contributions, formal and material breakthroughs and intergenerational relationships among women artists over the last eight decades. For more details, visit. NMWA’s website

Art in the Attic will host a pop-up on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. at 1012 Madison St., Alexandria, Va. There will be a variety of vendors selling products across different modes of art. For more details, visit Eventbrite.

Play Play will host “Indoor Recess – The art of play” on Sunday, March 15 at 2 p.m. This event will embody classic recess energy, including opportunities to build and experience community and connections through games, movement, art stations, and creative freedom. Tickets are $12.51 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

Spark Social will host “Gay Bar Crawl on U Street” on Friday, March 20 at 7:30 p.m. This will be a fun night out in gay D.C. with other gay people, whether you’re visiting D.C., new to the area, or just looking to expand your social circle. Many crawlers have formed lasting friendships and even romantic relationships after just one night out. Tickets are $35.88 and are available on Eventbrite

Creative Suitland Arts Center will host “EFFERVESCENT: House of Swann” on Saturday, May 30 at 7 p.m. This will be a gay, good time where we will celebrate love, joy, wellness, and visibility for the LGBTQIA+ community. Tickets start at $17.85 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

SWAG Works DC will host “Unapologetically Her” on Saturday, March 14 at 2 p.m. at 701 E St., S.E. This event is a powerful celebration of womanhood, resilience, creativity, and self-expression in honor of Women’s History Month. This all-women exhibition highlights the diverse voices, stories, and artistic perspectives of women who create boldly, live authentically, and stand confidently in their truth. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

9:30 Club will host “Gimme Gimme Disco: A Dance Party Inspired by ABBA” on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. There will also be a “Donna Summer Power Hour – The Queen of Disco” segment during this event. It’ll be one hour of music with no skips. Tickets are available on 9:30 Club’s website

Harder Better Faster Stronger will host “Heated Rivalry Rave” on Friday, March 20 at 9 p.m. at Howard Theatre. This event is open to all ages. Tickets are available on the theater’s website

CAMP Rehoboth hosts its 25th annual Women’s+ FEST, April 9-12 in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Entertainers include headliner Mina Hartong, a comedian, storyteller, and founder of Lez Out Loud; and singer Yoli Mayor. There are dances, dinners, pickleball, and much more. Details and tickets at camprehoboth.org.

Also in Rehoboth Beach, the Washington Blade’s 19th annual Summer Kickoff Party is set for Friday, May 15 featuring Ashley Biden, who will accept an award on behalf of her brother Beau. State Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall will also speak. More speakers and the venue to be announced soon.

The annual D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off March 21 at DAR Constitution Hall and culminates with Petalpalooza on April 4, the day-long, outdoor street party with music and art, stretching across Navy Yard, and ending with fireworks over the Anacostia River. 

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‘Queer Eye’ star Dorriene Diggs on life before and after appearing on hit show

Emotional January episode highlighted 40-year love affair with partner

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D.C. residents Dorriene Diggs and sister Jo starred in an emotional episode of ‘Queer Eye’ earlier this year. (Screen capture via IMDB)

Dorriene Diggs, 70, whose 40-year relationship with her domestic partner, Diane until Diane’s passing in 2020, the couple’s tense relationship with their respective parents, and Dorriene’s current living arrangement with her straight sister Jo, were the focus of a final season episode of the popular TV series “Queer Eye.”

In a recent interview with the Washington Blade, Diggs told of how her appearance on the show has impacted her life. She elaborated on the many aspects of her life experiences that she told to the five “Queer Eye” co-hosts who interviewed her and her sister in their D.C. home. 

Although her parents and her partner’s parents, who have since passed away, were not accepting of their relationship, Diggs has said most of her family members at this time reacted positively to her appearance on the show.

“They loved it,” she told the Blade. “Yes, everybody that saw the show called me and said they loved the show, they really enjoyed themselves watching it.”

Through an arrangement with D.C.’s Rainbow History Project, the “Queer Eye” show featuring Diggs and her sister was presented in a special screening on a large video screen at the D.C. History Center in January.

“Dorriene, a 70-year-old Black lesbian living in Washington, D.C., had spent decades building a life with her partner while navigating silence within her own family,” a “Queer Eye” statement announcing the episode on Diggs states. 

“The Fab Five did not arrive to introduce Dorriene to herself, but to help ensure her story was finally heard in full,” the statement says.  

Blade: Can you tell us how your appearance on the “Queer Eye” program came about? How did they find out about you?

Diggs: You know, I still don’t have all the details. I think it was my niece, Missy. And she knows somebody there from “Queer Eye.”

Blade: So, did you first learn about it when someone from “Queer Eye” contacted you?

Diggs: No, the “Queer Eye” guy knocked on my bedroom door and started talking. I was in my bedroom watching television and the next thing I know my door opened up and there was Karamo [Karamo Brown, one of the “Queer Eye” co-hosts] with his big black cowboy hat on, opening the door grinning. … They contacted Jo first. And when they came here, they realized there was a gay woman in the house, too. Because my name was not mentioned at first. After they came here, they learned about me, because when Missy reached out to them, she reached out to them about Jo. But that doesn’t bother me. This was all about Jo in the beginning, and not me. … They started talking to me and Jo. And he said, Dorriene, ‘you’ve done so much for so many people, it’s time for someone to do something for you.’ That’s what they said. He said, ‘this is the day we’re doing it for you.’

And so,  they put me and my sister up in a hotel for a week. They gave us a personal driver to take us anywhere we wanted to go. And then they took us to a bunch of places. We didn’t know why they were doing all of this. We had no idea that they were renovating the house and renovating our bedrooms. We had no  idea.

Blade: What was your reaction when you saw the home renovation?

Diggs: It was amazing. And they bought us all new complete wardrobes – clothes, shoes. But most of the stuff they got me I gave away to a women’s shelter. But it was so nice. Actually, to meet the guys. I’ve been watching the show for 10 years. I have watched it from the beginning. And actually, it brought me and my sister closer – really. We’re closer now than we’ve ever been. She’s my baby sister – not the baby, but next to the baby. She’s the younger one.

Blade: What has been the reaction to your appearance on the show? Do more people now recognize you?

Diggs: Yes, yes. I’m getting phone calls and it’s almost like I’m a celebrity. And I don’t want people to make a fuss over me. All the things I did I did from the heart. I really did. And I don’t want people to think I’m more than I am. I’m just a good Christian woman that believes in giving back.

And I do. God gives me help giving. That’s what I do. And I don’t want anything in return from anyone. You know, because I know what it means to not to have. I know what it means to go to bed hungry, with no food. Going to school with holes in your shoes. I know that. I know that feeling. I’ve been there. And I promised myself as a kid I would never live like this again. And when I got bold enough to leave home, I left home at 14, and I moved in with a drag queen. Damen was his name.

Blade: Did your appearance on the show change your life and your relationship with your sister?

Diggs: Yeah, yeah, it actually did. We are actually closer now than we’ve ever been. Because, like I said, I moved away from home early and I never went back. My parents had a problem with my lifestyle. They really did. My mom looked at me with such hatred. When I was old enough to say goodbye, I never looked back. And to come back around now in the last few years after Diane died, that’s when I came back here.

And at one point I stayed with my nephew Todd and his wife – but he got killed in a car accident. I couldn’t stay at his house anymore. So, then I called Jo and told her I need to get out of here. And without hesitating she came and picked me up and brought me to her home. And I’ve been here ever since.

Blade: Can you tell a little about when it came about and how you met your partner?

Diggs: We lived on 18th Avenue in condos. I just bought one. Hers was above mine. I bought the bottom one. When my brother came over, she was getting out of her car. She was driving a Vega. And I turned to my brother and I said – this is the God’s honest truth – I said Keith, that’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Just like that. And he started laughing. He said, girl you’re crazy. I said I know I’m crazy, Keith, but I’m telling you that woman right there is who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

Blade: And when was that?

Diggs: It was 1980 actually. And then I started going to the laundry room to do my laundry. So I started talking to her. She said, ‘I’m not speaking to you.’ Isaid ‘why not?’  She said ‘because you’re nothing but a female gigolo.’ And I said I’m not dating anymore. I’m waiting for you. ‘No, you’re too fast for me.’ I said, ‘well, I’m not giving up.’

And I didn’t give up. So, I was playing an album one day and she knocked on the door and asked what I was playing, I think. I said you liked that. She said yeah. I said OK, I’ll bring it upstairs and we can listen to it together. So, when I went up there to her apartment that day and whenever I went up there, I never left.

Blade: So, your partner’s name was Diane?

Diggs: Yes, Ruth Diane Robinson. But she hated the name Ruth. So, the only people who called her Ruth were at work, the people she worked with. Everybody else called her Diane.

Blade: And how many years were you together?

Diggs: Forty. Forty years together

Blade: And where were you living with her most of the time?

Diggs: We lived in Hagerstown the longest, Hagerstown, Md. And so, if Diane hadn’t died I probably still would have been in our house in Hagerstown.

Blade: Can you tell me a little about what you were doing career wise during those years?

Diggs: I do computers. I used to do computers. And before that I cooked. I love to cook like my mom. And then I wanted to do something else. So, I taught myself computers. I taught myself how to build computers and stuff. So, then I got my own computer business called Ida One Computer Consulting. And so, we helped build computers for people.

Blade: Around when was this, in the 1980a or 1990s?

Diggs:  Yes, in the 1980s. I think I stopped I would say around ’96, when I stopped. Because we both said we were going to retire at 55. And we did. We both retired at 55. And then she started diabetes. Every day I had to give her an injection because she was afraid of needles. She couldn’t give it to herself. So, I had to give her an injection every day One time, I don’t remember when, she had a mild stroke. And I had to take care of her. I’ve always taken care of her. And I don’t regret it. I never regretted it. It’s taking care of the one you love.

Blade: When was it that she passed away?

Diggs: In 2020. I found her on the kitchen floor.

Blade: How did your family and your extended family react to your relationship  with Diane?

Diggs: Well, her family, oh my God, they hated me – her mother the worst. Because I put a stop to them treating her really bad. I told her mother – I said never in my life – my mother raised me well. Never disrespect someone’s mother. I said but this time I’m going to disrespect you because you are going to start treating Diane like you ought to. This is a wonderful woman and you and your son and you it’s always about your son. You never, ever say anything good about your daughter. 

I said it isn’t going to happen again. You’re never going to disrespect her again. I said you take a damn good look at her because you’ll never see her again. I meant that. I grabbed Diane. I said it’s time to go. They don’t care about you.

Blade: Can you tell a little about your family?

Diggs: Yeah, I’m a triplet sister. So, it’s Dorriene, Chorine, and Chrissy — we are the triplets. So, my mom had a set of twins and a set of triplets within nine months. One of the twins died at birth. So, the other twin is Margaret.

Blade: So then how did your family react to you and Jo being on “Queer Eye”?

Diggs: Most of my family really had no problem with it.

Blade: Were  you out to them?

Diggs: Oh yeah. I was never in the closet. I didn’t give a damn what people felt about me, sweetheart. I really didn’t. I didn’t care. Because I was going to be me. And for people who didn’t like it, I wasn’t living for them, I was living for me. I’ve always been out. I had a brother who was also gay, Marvin. God rest his soul, too. But he stayed in the closet. He was in the closet until he was about 55 years old.

But everything I said on the show was the truth – my account. The things that I went through with family … You can’t tell me how I felt. If they try to make mom and dad out as perfect, they weren’t perfect. They were the worst parents. That’s my account of it.  

So yes, everything I said on that interview was the truth. That’s one thing people who know me know – I do not lie.

Blade: What are some of the things you like to do these days?

Diggs: I’m a sports lover. I love sports. So, my baseball season is getting ready to get started. Baseball is my favorite sport. Yes, I love baseball. I like the statistics of it. And watching the guys. I wish they had a women’s professional baseball team, honestly. … I’m a D.C. sports fan. The Wizards, the Nationals, the Mystics, the Caps. … And see, I’m a diehard Redskins fan and I refuse to call them the Commanders. They’re the Redskins. They will always be the Redskins to me. I love my sports teams.

Blade: Can you tell a little about the history of the house where you and Jo now live and where they did the filming of the “Queer Eye” show?

Diggs: Jo had a house on 17th Street, I think it was Northeast because it was over there by H Street, N.E. And I think somebody wanted to buy her house. I don’t know why she moved. So, she found this house. Because she wanted to buy something where she could buy a house straight out. She didn’t want a mortgage on another house.

Blade: What are your thoughts on being on the last season of “Queer Eye?”

Diggs: Yeah, we were the last ones. We took it out with a bang, me and Jo. That was it. 

Blade: Can you say how you and Jo appearing on the show impacted your life?

Diggs: I don’t know. I’m the same person. I’ve been getting calls from people saying I saw you on the show. And friends who I haven’t seen in years have been calling. … So yeah, the show, people I haven’t seen and talked to in years have been calling. I think that’s a good thing.

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35 years after ‘Truth or Dare,’ Slam is still dancing

Salim Gauwloos on Madonna, HIV, and why he almost didn’t audition for Blond Ambition Tour

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Salim Gauwloos continues to work as a dancer and choreographer. Learn more at salimgauwloos.com. (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

Most gay men of a certain age remember “the kiss.”

It was the moment Madonna’s dancers Salim Gauwloos and Gabriel Trupin locked lips in the hit 1991 documentary film “Truth or Dare,” which is celebrating its 35th anniversary this spring.

The kiss was hot, but what made it groundbreaking is that it appeared in a mainstream Hollywood movie that screened in suburban multiplexes across the country. This wasn’t an obscure art house film. The movie, and tour on which it was based, received months of breathless media attention all over the world for bold expressions of female empowerment and queer visibility. Madonna was threatened with arrest in Toronto for simulating masturbation on stage and Pope John Paul II urged Catholics to boycott the show, triggering a media firestorm. 

“Truth or Dare” was billed as a behind-the-scenes documentary of the tour, but it quickly became clear that the real star of the show wasn’t Madonna, but rather her colorful troupe of seven backup dancers, six of whom identified as gay: Kevin Stea, Carlton Wilborn, Luis Xtravaganza CamachoJose Gutierez Xtravaganza, Gauwloos, and Trupin; Oliver Crumes III identifies as straight.

We saw them party and march in the New York City Pride parade. They were unabashedly queer at a dangerous time — before protease inhibitors began to stem the AIDS plague and before most celebrities and politicians embraced the gay community in any real way. Being out in 1991 carried major risks to career and reputation. 

Enter Gauwloos, one of those brave dancers who vogued his way into the hearts of countless gay men entranced by his handsome looks, his stage presence, and dance skills. 

Gauwloos — known then and now as “Slam”— sat down with the Blade to talk Madonna, the lasting impact of “Truth or Dare,” the public disclosure of his HIV status, and plans for a new book on his life. 

His story is fascinating — from growing up in Europe to dancing in New York to landing the gig of a lifetime with Madonna. He performed on that tour while secretly HIV positive and went without medical treatment for 10 years because he was living in the United States as an undocumented immigrant. Not even Madonna knew of his HIV status. Two other dancers on the tour were also HIV positive but no one talked about it. Ironically, Madonna was singing “Express Yourself” and advocating for condom use during her concerts yet backstage three of her dancers were secretly positive.

“A lot of people were dying so I wasn’t going to tell Madonna I had HIV,” said Slam, now 57. “And the others didn’t either. It wasn’t the moment to do it. She used to make speeches about Keith Haring and AIDS and I thought it’s going to be me next.”

Gabriel Trupin died of AIDS in 1995. Slam was diagnosed at age 18 in 1987, a frightening time when a positive test result often meant a death sentence. He booked the “Blond Ambition Tour” at age 21 after moving to New York. His friends encouraged him to audition but Slam resisted because he wasn’t a big Madonna fan.

“It was crazy, everyone wanted that job,” he said, “but I wanted to dance with Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul.” He listened to his friends and shortly after the audition, Slam received a call from Madonna herself inviting him to join the tour.

“We all wanted to be stars but not even Madonna knew how big that tour would become. The way it was choreographed and directed, the stars aligned. … It never looks dated even today.”

Salim Gauwloos dances with Madonna on the ‘Blond Ambition Tour’ in 1990. (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

The world tour kicked off in Japan in April 1990 then moved to the United States and Europe, stirring controversy wherever it went. There was the iconic cone bra; the aforementioned simulated masturbation during “Like a Virgin”; and religious imagery that offended many Catholic groups and the Vatican.

And the controversy didn’t end with the tour. Cameras were rolling throughout the tour for what Slam thought would be a “video memory” for Madonna. But as the tour unfolded, director Alek Keshishian reportedly became more interested in what was happening behind the scenes so plans for mere tour footage were expanded into a full documentary.

“We were young and partying and didn’t really know what was going on,” Slam said. “You live in this celebrity bubble and you sign a paper – I don’t even know what I signed.”

In 1992, Kevin, Oliver, and Gabriel sued Madonna for invasion of privacy and fraud claiming she used some footage without their consent. They claim they were told nothing would be included in the film that they didn’t want to be seen. In one specific incident, Gabriel alleged that he told producers he didn’t want the scene of him kissing Slam to be in the film as he wasn’t fully out.

“Gabriel was forcibly outed,” in the movie, Kevin said in a 2016 interview.

Slam did not join his colleagues in the lawsuit.

“I couldn’t sue because I was illegal but I wasn’t ever going to sue,” Slam said. “I’m not a suing kind of person. But good for them, they fought for it and won. A lot of people don’t have the balls to sue Madonna.” The suit was settled two years later for an undisclosed sum.

“We were all conflicted about the kiss,” he said with a laugh. “The kiss, oh my God, my boyfriend is going to kill me! Belgian stress!”

Beyond worrying about his boyfriend’s reaction, Slam had concerns about the impact of being openly gay on his modeling career.

“In 1990, you couldn’t get high fashion campaigns as an openly gay model,” he said. “I was worried about that. I couldn’t get a campaign because I was gay. My agency told me to say I was straight and it was just a game.”

In 2016, pegged to the 25th anniversary of “Truth or Dare,” the surviving six dancers filmed a documentary about their lives post-Madonna titled “Strike A Pose.” In it, Slam publicly revealed his HIV status for the first time in an emotional scene with his former colleagues.

“I found the strength to tell the world I have HIV,” he recalls. “I was scared but I felt brave. The outcome and messages were beautiful. After I saw ‘Strike A Pose,’ I knew we gave people hope. And not just for gay people.”

He was infected in 1987 but didn’t get treated until 1997. After the tour ended, he said he went into a depression and his agency dropped him. 

“I was partying too much after the tour,” he recalls. “I made a decision to live as an illegal alien.” In 1997, Slam collapsed and was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia. 

“They started treating me and thank God the new HIV drugs were out, the cocktails, it took me a couple months to get better.”

Madonna didn’t participate in “Strike A Pose” and Slam said he hasn’t seen or spoken to her since the end of the tour. He said he had no idea of the impact “Truth or Dare” would have. 

“You look at this movie in 1991 and you don’t think it’s going to be such a big thing and 35 years later it’s still helping people,” he said. “It was helpful for people who felt alone at that time. It was such an important documentary.

“I don’t think younger gay people realize how important Madonna was to gay and queer visibility — she was a big part of it. We showed the world it’s OK to be gay and that was the great message of this movie.”

He noted that, decades later, many of his friends have transgender kids and that queer culture is represented in much of mainstream pop culture.

“It’s amazing how far we’ve come,” he said. “I know we’ll always be marginalized but we have come so far. I’m really proud of our community. The current nightmare will be over and I do believe that things will get better.”

Referencing President Trump’s attacks on the LGBTQ community and crackdown on immigration, Slam described the situation in the U.S. today as “sad.”

“Everything is such a mess,” he said. “Some of these people have lived here 30-40 years and they take you out of your home. I can’t even imagine. It breaks my heart. When I was illegal it was a different story.”

Slam met his husband, Facundo Gabba, who’s from Argentina, in 2000, and he helped him get a legal case together to win citizenship. He filed a case in 2001 and was told there was a 99 percent chance he wouldn’t be permitted to stay in the United States because they weren’t allowing HIV-positive immigrants to remain in the country. But he got his green card anyway in 2005 and became a U.S. citizen in 2012. 

Today, Slam and Gabba live in Brooklyn, though they travel a lot because “I can’t take the cold.” The couple married in Argentina in 2010 and in the U.S. in 2016.

Slam is still dancing and working as a choreographer. He’s teaching at a contemporary dance festival in Vienna in July and even offers online lessons via Salimdans.com.

As a longtime HIV survivor, Slam is dedicated to a healthful lifestyle.

“You have to keep moving; when you move you stay healthy,” he says. “Dance heals everything. I do yoga, I eat healthy and clean as possible. I don’t watch much TV … I try to stay healthy and positive. If I absorb all of the negativity I would be sick.”

Salim Gauwloos (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

In addition to his ongoing work in dance and choreography, Slam is in the early stages of writing a book about his extraordinary life and pioneering career.

“I always knew I had a book inside of me. I want to talk about my HIV status. I know I can inspire more people. I want to tell even more secrets in the book; secrets are a poison so I want to tell everything.” 

Among those secrets, he notes, is a desire to write about his strict Muslim father and the years he spent as an undocumented immigrant in America. 

“Those are the things I want to talk about, the struggles. It’s a love story, hope and resilience. I know it will help people.”

As for his friends from the tour, Slam says he remains in contact with Gabriel’s mother and José Xtravaganza is his best friend. Baltimore’s Center Stage theater is currently developing a new musical about Xtravaganza’s life. And Slam said he occasionally talks to Oliver, though “he still can’t pronounce Sandra Bernhard’s name.”

At the end of our interview, Slam indulged a round a rapid fire questions:

• Favorite song to perform in the “Blond Ambition” tour? “Express Yourself.”

• Aside from Madonna, who was your favorite artist you worked with? Toni Braxton in “Aida” on Broadway. 

• Favorite Madonna song? “Live to Tell”

• Favorite Madonna video? “Bedtime Stories”

• What’s more stressful: performing in a concert or performing on the VMAs? “Both, because we always had to be perfect.”

• Did you go to Madonna’s recent “Celebration” tour? “I didn’t see the show but I saw clips online.”

• What do you remember most about performing “Vogue” at the VMAs? “It was nerve-racking for them to flip those fans.”

• When was the last time you vogued? “I teach classes so a couple weeks ago.”

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