a&e features
‘Lights Down Low’ singer MAX stoked for Pride set
Hitmaker on working with Madonna, playing for gay crowds and being a straight ally
Capitol Concert Stage
(3rd & Pennsylvania Ave.)
MCs: Jerry Houston and Destiny B. Childs
1-2 p.m.: Gay Men’s Chorus/Kim Petras
2-3 p.m.: Kristina Kelly and the Cobalt Cast/M AX
3-4 p.m.: Damarcko Price/Ella Fitzgerald/Michi/DJ Twin
4-5 p.m.: Ladies of Town/Mykul Jay Valentine/Freddie’s Follies/The Boy Band Project
5-6 p.m.: DJ Twin/Keri Hilson
6-7 p.m.: Troye Sivan
7-8 p.m.: Asia O’Hara from “RuPaul’s Drag Race”/Alessia Cara
8-10 p.m.: DJ Tracy Young
Dupont Dance Tent
(6th and Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.)
Noon-1 p.m.: DJ Henry Thrill
1-2 p.m: Tim Jackson
2-3 p.m.: DJ Sidekick
3-4 p.m.: Alex DB
4-5 p.m.: DJ Andre Gutarra
5-6 p.m.: DJ Mike Reimer
6-7 p.m.: DJ Strikestone
Monument Festival Stage
(6th and Constitution Ave., N.W.)
Noon-1 p.m.: DJ Jerry Jones/The CooLots
1-2 p.m.: Kristen Ford/Jourdan Frost/Baron/RYALS
2-3 p.m.: Cheer D.C./Chris Urquiaga/Pitches Be Crazy/DJ Henry Thrill
3-4 p.m.: Brody Ray/Billy Winn/Cobalt Pride Idol Winner/D.C. Front Runners/Sub-Radio
4-5 p.m.: Resurrecting Queenz/Niva the Soul Diva/Miss Kelli/SongRise/Shemuwel
5-6 p.m.: DJ Henry Thrill/AhSa-Ti Nu/Chris Chism/PRIMME/Heather Mae
6-7 p.m.: Leonardo Martinez/Dorothy Milone/Alise King/DJ Henry Thrill
Model/actor/singer MAX (aka Max Schneider), 25, didn’t originally think his song “Lights Down Low,” now his signature song, was an obvious single choice from his sophomore solo album, 2016’s “Hell’s Kitchen Angel.”
Four others (“Gibberish,” “Wrong,” “Holla” and “Basement Party”) were released to radio first. “Lights” was released only as a promo single. But a remix of the song featuring singer gnash became a sleeper hit entering the Billboard Hot 100 a year after its release and eventually earning a Gold RIAA certification. It peaked at no. 20 and the video, which features MAX and wife Emily in an elaborate set piece featuring one angle and a couple’s lifetime of married life over many years, was noted for its detail and special effects.
MAX will perform at the Capital Pride Festival/HOT 99.5 concert Sunday at 2 p.m. on the CAPITOL Concert Stage (3rd & Pennsylvania). It’s free but $50 backstage meet-and-greet passes for MAX (with photo opp) are available through capitalpride.org.
MAX spoke to the Blade by phone last week from his home in the Big Apple.
WASHINGTON BLADE: You were doing a photo shoot today?
MAX: Yeah, we had a little photo shoot and then we’re heading into the studio. It’s just a beautiful sunny day doing all the stuff.
BLADE: How did “Lights Down Low” start to gain steam?
MAX: It’s interesting. I always knew it was a really special one and I wanted it to be a single from the beginning but because it’s a ballad and sometimes people are afraid of something that’s not like a surefire uptempo song, it’s maybe a harder sell in some ways. But it was really cool because I always believed in it. It’s the most special song for me, of course, because I wrote it for my wife and proposed to her with it. … People have been slowly coming on board over the last two years and realized that it was, maybe more than the other singles, it was awesome to have that — just people continuing to get the message.
BLADE: But how did it gain traction? When did it first crack the Hot 100?
MAX: It’s been all the little things. It’s everything from my friend gnash joined the song with me about six months after I had released it originally and having him be a part of it brought a new audience to it and it’s all these different things. Amazing people started dancing to it with D-trix and Montana and then people were just putting it out there and listening to it. … Then we had the Snapchat filter worldwide on Valentine’s Day which really just sort of was unbelievable. It really brought it over the edge, which was amazing. So it was like a series of small things of people just believing in it and all of a sudden, everybody kinda knew the song, which was very humbling and amazing.
BLADE: I understand the video was quite elaborate and took months of planning, right?
MAX: Yes indeed. It was six months altogether from conception of the idea. … It was such a long process and a lot of that, probably the biggest thing was fighting for the story to be authentic whether that be because the powers that be in music didn’t want me to be open about my relationship with my wife and wanted me to appear single and whatever else, all the cliches in the music world, and I wanted to make sure people knew the story behind it — that I wrote it for her. And then it was about her being in the actual video. I wanted the song to be true to our story down to wearing exactly what we wore when we got engaged to our actual wedding outfits. … People were like, “Oh, it should be some famous DJ from the Netherlands playing your wife,” and I was like, “Screw that — it should be my actual wife and until everybody is down for that to happen, I’m not gonna make this video.” That’s why it took six months and then like three months to convince everybody to let it be my truth to the vision.
BLADE: You said people were urging you not to be who you were. That’s an interesting phrase — something you’d expect to hear more from a gay singer. What did you mean?
MAX: Oh, 100 percent — totally. Everything from what I was supposed to wear. It’s been a lot of things. Like that, it’s a lot of people being, I guess, being out there. I’m a bit eccentric and outright and an energetic kind of person and sometimes people are afraid of something that’s over the edge whether it’s me painting my nails or wearing sequins or all these different things. Everything from the fashion to the story behind it and that’s definitely been something. That’s the biggest message is people don’t have to like you or like who you love or anything like that as long as you love you and people around you are drawn to you because you’re being yourself. Those are the people you want to be with anyway, not the people who think they’re too cool to hang with you because you know, love who you want to love and wear what you want to wear. Those people suck anyway. They’re boring.
BLADE: So there’s a school of thought that if you’re a hot young singer and you’re married it will pop the fans’ bubble of you being off the market so to speak? Even though the odds of them getting with you would have been one in a million in likelihood, it pops a bubble in their minds knowing you’re married?
MAX: Yes, that was the original fear from the powers that be. But in the end, if I want people who are only loving the music because they think you’re single or you’re on the market — I mean, everybody wants to have that attention, you want as many people to be into your thing as possible, but I’ve accepted that if people aren’t into that because I’m married, then whatever. Are they gonna come to the shows anyway and be the people who are really invested in the music and message and are stoked that to watch my wife and I sort of be a happy couple and have our sort of ups and downs and be open about that? But yeah, that definitely crossed your mind like, “Oh, man — I hope people don’t not listen to my thing just because of that.”
BLADE: Why do you think you have a gay fan base?
MAX: I just think I’ve always been, you know, I grew up in New York City and I went to theater school. I’ve been surrounded by people who are open about their sexuality my entire life so I guess that’s why I’ve always been an ally and an advocate of it because everywhere we go, I’m just always putting that message out there that people should be able to love who they wanna love whether they’re gay, straight, bi, trans or love themselves because when people love themselves and are the most comfortable with themselves, they do the coolest things with their lives and we have a happier world. That’s just something I always believed growing up. It wasn’t until I went to more places where that wasn’t apparent — like I would say what the message of “Lights Down Low” was about before singing it and some places it wouldn’t get applause or people showed no excitement or maybe even I’d get booed or whatever else. That made me realize that being an ally to the community as a straight married man hopefully in my mind that makes some people who aren’t as open minded think, “Well, here’s this straight, married guy, he paints his nails, he looks super flamboyant but he’s a straight married guy, maybe I shouldn’t be such a jerk. Maybe I should accept that people love who they wanna love and they’re amazing people too.” I want people to feel accepted and safe at our shows and with our music. That’s the bottom line always and it’s beautiful that people have been drawn to that. Like last week we had a show and this incredible couple, these amazing females, got engaged at the show and that was just amazing.
BLADE: But what about “Lights Down Low” resonates with LGBT fans in your opinion? The video is very heteronormative.
MAX: It’s totally because of me being so outright supportive of the community. It definitely comes from that. The fight of being open with the truth of your own story has connected with people and I have noticed that which is awesome. I love that people have connected with it regardless of sexual orientation.
BLADE: How was Madonna when you did the (2010) Dolce & Gabbana ad/photo shoot? When she’s working is she friendly, imperious, aloof — what?
MAX: She’s super friendly but also — she knows exactly what she wants. My favorite story was the first shot, she walked in with her coconut water in hand, she hands it to an assistant. She was supposed to be playing my mother so she was teaching me how to dance in the bathroom and I was supposed to be like, “Oh, I’m embarrassed, my mother is teaching me how to dance,” and so she danced with me and she was like, “Why are you making those faces?” And I was like, “I don’t know — I’ll make whatever faces you want me to make, what do you want?” And she grabbed me in the small of the back and she was like, “I’ll teach you how to dance,” and she’s like such a powerhouse. That was sort of the whole day. That story — that’s basically her in a nutshell. There’s kindness there but it’s like her way or the highway and you’re just following her lead and I mean, it was one of the most powerful presences I’ve ever been in. It was really amazing to get that one surreal play date with her. Just awesome.
BLADE: How long did it take? It looked like there were several setups/scenes?
MAX: It was probably 12 hours. I got there like 8 in the morning and I left when it was just getting dark out and it was in the summer so yeah, it was wild. My other favorite story was when we went out in the street we do this shot where I’m carrying groceries and that was unplanned so there was no security for the first time all day. We’re out there and these paparazzi start taking pictures and it’s all crazy and the next day, my dad goes to the gym and picks up a paper and it says on the front page, “Who’s Madonna’s new fetus boyfriend?” And that was why it was so funny. That was her thing. She totally planned it. She knew exactly what she was doing and I was even more impressed that she had learned how to manipulate the media to make sure that her agenda gets out there. That’s a genius skill in itself.
BLADE: And yet you were supposed to be her son in the storyline?
MAX: Exactly. It was based off of this old Italian film but of course it became a little more, I don’t know, not even sexualized — it just sort of morphed into our own thing after a little bit because it was her just like sort of making it her own story which again was such a cool thing about her.
BLADE: How much backstory is usually discussed on shoots like that?
MAX: Sometimes it’s a ton, sometimes it’s like this is the storyline and this is the theme and sometimes it’s all spontaneous. Sometimes the best shots are the ones where it’s just like, “Oh, you’re changing right now — no, wait, like kind of this act of you changing is kind of an amazing shot and you should just like go into that bathroom and we’ll take a shower.” Sometimes the most spontaneous stuff is the most special but the theme stuff is super awesome and that was awesome to have such a laid-out theme for the whole shoot.
BLADE: Did they let you keep the suit?
MAX: No, I wish. I was so bummed they didn’t let me keep any of this stuff. I was just like, “Can I keep these shoes? I just wore them,” and they’re like, “Nah, nah — we’re taking them back.”
BLADE: What’s been the biggest surprise of married life?
MAX: I guess you always kinda think you’re different from everybody else’s story and you’re like, “Oh, we’re gonna be so much different,” but I think in the end it’s just — like I’ve learned even after two years, sometimes it’s hard work to make sure you and your partner are on the same page even when you think you are, sometimes I’m surprised in a way, you know, you feel like this person knows you better than anyone else but then like I forget to tell Emily something and all of a sudden she’s super upset because we’re not on the same page about something. It sucks because it’s the most important person to you, you don’t want to let them down. It’s constant hard work to make sure that you guys are completely together as a team and it’s so important. I guess that surprised me.
BLADE: How did you learn the ukulele?
MAX: I just started playing it in Central Park as a young teen. It’s just something really fun that I love doing, you know? I’m a small-sized person and it’s a small instrument so it was just kind of the perfect thing to combine the two.
BLADE: You play it regularly on your records and in your live show?
MAX: Yeah, yeah, I always incorporate it into both. I always try to do one song live and one on the record like that.
BLADE: What does your pitchfork tattoo symbolize?
MAX: So being from New York, I always kind of represent that acceptance and I like that if you have a symbol and you see somebody else with that same symbol, you know that’s somebody else who has the same beliefs of being who you’re meant to be and accepting people for who they are. And being that I don’t get to be home as much as I’d like, so often I like to make sure that I carry that piece of home with me. I carry that belief, that vision of making sure I don’t fall into other people’s beliefs or accept things that are wrong in the world in other places or that I believe are wrong. That’s sort of the reason it’s so apparent on my arm. I can’t hide it. It’s on my sleeve.
BLADE: Have you played many Pride events before?
MAX: Oh yeah, a ton. I love Pride festivals. They’re the most fabulous humans mostly because of their energy. we just did one in Louisville a couple months ago and there were a couple of slaying drag queens that were just killing the game and it just like erupted on stage and it’s always like, you never know what to expect. It’s just a place for people to be who they are which is why I love performing at them probably more than any other style show because it’s so beautiful to see so many people so excited. Prideful, of course, and just stoked on all the energy of life. Those are the audiences you want to play for, at least for me. People who are just living their best life. I love all that stuff.
BLADE: You have a band or sing with tracks? How long is your set?
MAX: A little bit of both. My partner Ryan, he plays keytar live, we have, you know, talk box, guitar, a lot of fun instruments and then there’s a lot of tracks and stuff too but it’s between 30 minutes and an hour and we like to bring as much energy as possible. I like to call it an emotional party. We got “Lights Down Low,” which kind of gives you the feels, then we do our rendition of “Ms. Jackson,” by OutKast and all the more sort of hyped-up songs like “Holla,” “Basement Party.” I like people forgetting about everything in their own world and falling into this world of the show. That’s always our biggest want to have people just like lose themselves in this environment.
BLADE: Oh, so you’ll be doing some Party Pupils (his side venture with Ryan Siegel) stuff too then?
MAX: Oh yeah, you know it baby. We’re stoked.
BLADE: So is MAX and Party Pupils always sort of running parallel or is one sometimes front burner, the other back burner? How does it roll?
MAX: We try to balance them equally. When MAX was going for radio and stuff like that, it sort of was the leader but since Ryan’s always with me, we try to incorporate Party Pupils as much as possible and bring that funky energy. We got a song called “Sax on the Beach” coming out this Friday which is a Party Pupils record but we play it in the MAX show and try to combine both worlds as much as we can so one doesn’t get lost because it’s hard enough to be committed to your own thing, but it’s a beautiful balance of the two and we’ve been really lucky because we’ve worked so hard and he does such an incredible job producing all the tracks and remixes. So yeah, it’s gonna be a nice mix of both for sure at the show.
BLADE: Can you truthfully say, though, that a sea of gay men out there thinking you’re hot at a Pride event doesn’t weird you out even maybe one or two percent?
MAX: Oh no, not at all. It’s the best. I love the energy. At the last Pride festival, I did have a drag queen give me a real solid butt slap which, you know, don’t slap anybody you don’t know. But other than that, as long as there’s no physical butt slap, I love all the love. I love giving love to everybody. That was definitely a hilarious one, though because she really just grabbed one butt cheek and I was just like, “All right — that’s hilarious, but also, please don’t grab my butt cheek. My wife would not be happy about any human grabbing my butt cheek.”
BLADE: That does sound like a bit much.
MAX: Yeah, it was but as long as it’s not too much, I’m always down with love. I’m a very loving person and it’s beautiful having that transfer of energy.
BLADE: Are your abs always as popping as they look in some of your photos? How do you maintain that?
MAX: I just kind of dance around at shows. I eat a lot of food and I just dance around. I’m sure eventually I’ll have to do a lot more than that, but I just kind of wiggle around and try to keep in shape.
BLADE: Launching this whole career on the indie route but also having success with Billboard and getting radio airplay and so on, have you often bumped up against the industry gatekeepers, like when you referenced the powers that be earlier. What’s that been like?
MAX: No, I just try honestly to give love to people who support us. I think it’s easy to want to suck up to people who can help you but I think you should just take time to be kind to everybody whether they can help you or not. That’s the policy I’ve tried to keep regardless of where things get to. I give love to anybody whether it’s Spotify or Apple or radio stations. If they’re giving us love, I try to give as much as I can back.

MAX says balancing his solo material with his side project Party Pupils keeps him musically stoked. (Photo courtesy Crush Music)
a&e features
Your guide to D.C.’s queer New Year’s Eve parties
Ring in 2026 with drag, leather, Champagne, and more
With Christmas in the rear view mirror, we can turn our attention to ringing in a much-anticipated New Year with a slew of local LGBTQ parties. Here’s what’s on tap.
Pitchers
This spacious Adams Morgan bar is hosting the “Pitchers’ Perfect New Year’s Eve.” There will be a midnight Champagne toast, the ball drop on the big screens, and no cover, all night long. The bar doesn’t close until 4 a.m., and the kitchen will be open late (though not until close). All five floors will be open for the party, and party favors are promised.
Trade
D.C.’s hottest bar/club combo is leaning into the Shark motif with its NYE party, “Feeding Frenzy.” The party is a “glitterati-infused Naughty-cal New Year’s Even in the Shark Tank, where the boats are churning and the sharks are circling.” Trade also boasts no cover charge, with doors opening at 5 p.m. and the aforementioned Shark Tank opening at 9 p.m.. Four DJs will be spread across the two spaces; midnight hostess is played by Vagenesis and the two sea sirens sensuously calling are Anathema and Justin Williams.
Number Nine
While Trade will have two DJs as part of one party, Number Nine will host two separate parties, one on each floor. The first floor is classic Number Nine, a more casual-style event with the countdown on TVs and a Champagne midnight toast. There will be no cover and doors open at 5 p.m. Upstairs will be hosted by Capital Sapphics for its second annual NYE gathering. Tickets (about $50) include a midnight Champagne toast, curated drink menu, sapphic DJ set by Rijak, and tarot readings by Yooji.
Crush
Crush will kick off NYE with a free drag bingo at 8 p.m. for the early birds. Post-bingo, there will be a cover for the rest of the evening, featuring two DJs. The cover ($20 limited pre-sale that includes line skip until 11 p.m.; $25 at the door after 9 p.m.) includes one free N/A or Crush, a Champagne toast, and party favors (“the legal kind”). More details on Eventbrite.
Bunker
This subterranean lair is hosting a NYE party entitled “Frosted & Fur: Aspen After Dark New Year’s Eve Celebration.” Arriety from Rupaul Season 15 is set to host, with International DJ Alex Lo. Doors open at 9 p.m. and close at 3 p.m.; there is a midnight Champagne toast. Cover is $25, plus an optional $99 all-you-can-drink package.
District Eagle
This leather-focused bar is hosting “Bulge” for its NYE party. Each District Eagle floor will have its own music and vibe. Doors run from 7 p.m.-3 a.m. and cover is $15. There will be a Champagne toast at midnight, as well as drink specials during the event.
Kiki, Shakiki
Kiki and its new sister bar program Shakiki (in the old Shakers space) will have the same type of party on New Year’s Eve. Both bars open their doors at 5 p.m. and stay open until closing time. Both will offer a Champagne toast at midnight. At Kiki, DJ Vodkatrina will play; at Shakiki, it’ll be DJ Alex Love. Kiki keeps the party going on New Year’s Day, opening at 2 p.m., to celebrate Kiki’s fourth anniversary. There will be a drag show at 6 p.m. and an early 2000s dance party 4-8 p.m.
Spark
This bar and its new menu of alcoholic and twin N/A drinks will host a NYE party with music by DJ Emerald Fox. Given this menu, there will be a complimentary toast at midnight, guests can choose either sparkling wine with or without alcohol. No cover, but Spark is also offering optional wristbands at the door for $35 open bar 11 p.m.-1 a.m. (mid-shelf liquor & all NA drinks).
a&e features
Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)

A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)


To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)

To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)

To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)


To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)

To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)

To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)

For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
a&e features
Have yourself a merry John Waters Christmas
Annual holiday show returns to Alexandria and Baltimore
When it comes to iconic Christmas scenes in movies, none can top the tree-toppling tantrum thrown by cha-cha heels-deprived Dawn Davenport in John Waters’s fifth full-length feature “Female Trouble” from 1974. Therefore, it’s not surprising that Waters continues to make art out of Christmas, performing his spoken word Christmas tour in cities across the country. Waters has even more reason to celebrate with the release of his new red vinyl 7” single, a cover of Little Cindy’s “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on the A-side, and “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” on the B-side. If you’re still looking for unique Christmas gifts, consider this record. As always, John was kind enough to make time for an interview in advance of his tour dates.
BLADE: John, in preparation for this interview with you, I went back and listened to Little Cindy’s original rendition of “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on your “A John Waters Christmas” CD.
JOHN WATERS: One thing I did, if you notice, I make the same stumble in my recording that she did in the original.
BLADE: It sounded to me like she got choked up.
WATERS: No, I think she just stumbles over a word, so I stumbled over the same word. It’s appropriation, insanely.
BLADE: Is this a song you first became aware of in your youth or when you were an adult?
WATERS: When I was doing the Christmas album, I had this friend named Larry Benicewicz. He was kind of my idea man with music. He knew every single old record. I would say to him, “Weird Christmas songs,” when we were doing a soundtrack, or a song about bears, or a song about this, and he would give me all these tapes. It was one of the ones he played for me. A lot of the songs I put in my movies and on my records, I did know as a kid. I did not know this one, but I immediately embraced it. I don’t think it’s campy. I think it really is spiritual in a weird way. My doing it makes it a novelty record. I am really for novelty records, and there aren’t any anymore. Why was there not a COVID novelty record? That’s insane. The dance “The Bug” that’s on the “Hairspray” soundtrack would be perfect for COVID.
BLADE: The thing that struck me was that for a Christmas song in the voice of a child, a kind of death pall hangs over it, with lines like, “If I was good you’d let me live with you” and “they nailed you to the cross, they wanted you to die.”
WATERS: All of it! When I see children at midnight mass kneeling in front of a nude man nailed to a cross, I feel like I’m at The Eagle! It is S&M, it’s creepy. I took the same cover (photo) from her record to parody and put my face on it. The same thing I did with The Singing Dogs last year when I covered (their version of) “Jingle Bells.” I’m really into novelty records. I love them and I’m trying to bring them back. I don’t expect anybody to ever play these records. Even The Singing Dogs one said on it, “Please do not play this record” [laughs]. And the flipside, the Pig Latin version, is almost impossible to listen to.
BLADE: I’m so glad you mentioned that. “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” reminded me of the lost art of speaking in Pig Latin. I also recall watching the PBS series “Zoom” as an adolescent and learning to speak “ubbi dubbi,” a distant relative of Pig Latin. Do you think that the time is right for a Pig Latin or ubbi dubbi revival?
WATERS: Here’s the thing, I never could pick up any language, except Pig Latin. I’ve been in every foreign country. Foreign countries have given me money to learn to speak the language. I can never do it! But Pig Latin…my parents and other parents in the ‘50s spoke Pig Latin so kids couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then my mother taught it to me, and I used it. The hardest take to shoot in “Pink Flamingos” was not eating the dog shit. It was when the cast skipped, in one take, saying “E-way, are-yay e-they ilthiest-fay eople-pay in-hay e-they ole-hay ide-way orld-way.” We’re the filthiest people in the whole wide world in Pig Latin. We had to do so many takes so they could do it once without screwing it up. In “Polyester,” Edith (Massey) answers the phone, “ello-hay.” I did a photo piece where it was all subtitled in Pig Latin. Like “osebud-Ray” (from “Citizen Kane”) or in “Streetcar,” “ella-Stay!” [Laughs] All the iconic dialogue translated into Pig Latin. My assistant who helped me do it, had never heard of Pig Latin. She really got good at it because she lived in many foreign countries and can pick up languages. But it’s not that easy to do it correctly and read it. Your computer will translate into Pig Latin.
BLADE: AI understands Pig Latin?
WATERS: I guess that’s AI. It wasn’t 100% right, but it was close. I can speak it if I look at it, but just do a bit at a time. It was a challenge that no one would possibly care about or want to do.
BLADE: I think you pulled it off very well.
WATERS: If you want people to leave on Christmas morning, you put it on. That’s how you get your guests to leave. It’s time to go.
BLADE: Ood-gay i-bay! How did your relationship with record label Sub Pop, which released 2021, 2022, 2024, and new 2025 holiday singles, come about?
WATERS: I believe the first thing I did for them was “Prayer to Pasolini.” They came to me through Ian Brennan. He’s won a couple Grammys for World Music, but he is also is one of my agents who does the Christmas tour and a lot of my shows, anything with music. He helped me arrange each one of the songs. He had a relationship with Sub Pop. It was perfect. My friends in Baltimore, (the band) Beach House, have had huge success.
BLADE: That’s right, they’re on Sub Pop!
WATERS: Yes! I’m happy to be on it. I’ve even been to the warehouse and posed for pictures like Jackie Suzanne used to do.
BLADE: Is there any chance that “A John Waters Christmas” might be reissued on vinyl by Sub Pop?
WATERS: No. It’s such a nightmare to get the rights and to renew them. You have to find the publisher and the writer, and they usually hate each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s obscure or famous, it’s hard to get. You have to make the deal. The singer doesn’t get anything unless they play it on the radio. It would be so complicated legally, and there would be such a [laughs] tiny audience for it. I hope it will come out again. The same thing with the one for Valentine’s Day. I had two of them that did quite well when they came out; “A Date With John Waters and “A John Waters Christmas.” The “John Waters Christmas” album is still the soundtrack that plays whenever I’m doing my spoken word Christmas show as people are entering the theater.
BLADE: Aside from your annual Christmas show tour, what else do you do for the holidays now, and are there any traditions that you’ve carried over from your family?
WATERS: Certainly! I have two sisters, my brother’s widow, and me, so there are four and we take turns each year to have the Christmas dinner. Mine was last year. An entire sit-down dinner. Mom’s China, the silverware, the entire full dinner. It’s pretty traditional. I don’t have a Christmas tree, but I do decorate the electric chair from “Female Trouble.” That is a tradition in my family. We do have Christmas decorations, but they’re usually weird ones that fans sent me. I have one with Divine knocking over the Christmas tree, and the Christmas tree lights up, all sorts of amazing things. There is definitely a tradition here that might be a little altered, but it is definitely a tradition. I used to have a giant party every year, but COVID ended that. I still wouldn’t want 200 people in my house breathing right now.
BLADE: I was looking at your tour schedule and wondered if there are any new cities in which you’ve never performed the John Waters Christmas show that have been added to this year’s schedule?
WATERS: I don’t think there’s a city in America in which I haven’t done one show! The only places I haven’t been to are Hawaii and Alaska. I could do it there, but it’s too long on a tour. I can’t think of a city I haven’t played in in America over the last 50 years. The Christmas show is completely different every year. It doesn’t matter if you saw it last year.
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