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Back to School: How it got better at William & Mary

Trammell on the importance of mentoring new generation

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Davey McKissick, Jeff Trammell, William & Mary, gay news, Washington Blade
Jeff Trammell, William & Mary, gay news, Washington Blade

The future rector, Jeff Trammell (class of 1973), was captain of the basketball team. (Photo courtesy of Trammell)

Editor’s note: This is the second installment in the “Back To School” series assessing the LGBT climate on university campuses as told by alumni we’re pairing with current students to tell their stories. This week: Jeff Trammell and William & Mary. Next in the series: Lesbian author Fay Jacobs returns to American University. 

Speaking of her beloved college, the acclaimed actress Glenn Close once said, “I have an indestructible, visceral connection to this place — a connection which is vital and real and which has sustained me through good times and bad.”

This loving endorsement of William & Mary by Close threads the needle for this series. As we explore the experiences and struggles of gay alumni, the actress known for her roles in “Dangerous Liaisons” and “Fatal Attraction” serves apt imagery.

For Jeff Trammell, in the early 1970s, any same-sex liaisons would have been dangerous — and any attraction could be fatal to his reputation, or worse.

So, while heterosexual classmates were sewing their wild oats, Trammell buried himself in books, basketball and life in the Lambda Chi fraternity. One can picture him with 20 pounds of history books in his backpack, waiting in line to use a public pay phone to call his “date” — a coed with whom only polite conversation would take place.  No liaisons, no attractions. The oats he sewed were mild. He only risked coming out once, quietly, to his straight little brother in the fraternity. Much later in life, Trammell would come to lead the Lambda Alliance for LGBTQ’s, but, typical of Trammell, he didn’t drop his ties to Lambda Chi. To this day he is thankful to — and a dear friend of —his little brother and sole confidant, Dave Blount.

Trammell took one shot at wild oats back then. It was a secret mission into D.C. to check out the legendary gay bar, Lost and Found. He arrived at 7 p.m. and entered solo. The bartender just laughed and said, “Come back at 11.” The star senior hoopster was a rookie in gay life so he anxiously sat out in the parking lot. Once inside at the stroke of 11, he saw men dancing with men. As he puts it, “Breathtaking.” But, across the crowded dance floor he spotted the captain of the tennis team, and frightened, he slunk into the shadows, “which is not easy at 6’7″.”

Like many southern boys, Trammell relies on those immortal words from “Steel Magnolias”: “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” And strong is an understatement. Settled down with Stuart Serkin, his husband with whom he has danced for 36 years, they laugh at having met taking the Florida Bar exam — and Serkin had to coax out of Trammell that his great uncle was indeed “that” former Gov. Trammell of Florida. Their first date was to see “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” and here they are 36 years later watching the potential reality horror show “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Under Ken Cuccinelli?” But, ever present in their politics, both are at the barricades working for Democratic gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe.

Trammell has worked for Democrats on Capitol Hill for decades, run LGBT outreach for both the Al Gore and John Kerry campaigns and gone toe-to-toe on gay issues with the likes of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly on Fox News. Throughout his life, he has always stayed involved in William & Mary alumni affairs. Last year, he agreed once again to mentor an undergrad — this time Davey McKissick, a senior whose experiences are quite different.

First off, McKissick’s books and phone are both on his iPad, and literally balanced in the palm of his hand. In his other hand? His boyfriend’s. No pay phones, no book bags, no coed “beards.” And if McKissick were single and ran into a gay tennis player, he wouldn’t feel the need to run away. He leads an authentic life. He has learned his gay history through documentaries, lectures at W&M and through Trammell. His ambition was to intern in D.C. and among the 15,000 alumni in the D.C. area, he’s sitting at Trammell and Company with Jeff — the first openly gay board chair (rector) of a major university.

William & Mary elected the first openly gay board chair of a major university in the United States. It didn’t happen in Cambridge, Berkley or Madison. It happened in Williamsburg, Va. “I owe it all to the GALA students and faculty at the university,” Trammell said. “They created the climate for this to happen.” There are many reasons to look up to this former basketball star, and his height isn’t even at the top of the list. Start with McKissick’s gay hero, Barney Frank. It so happens that Trammell co-founded Stonewall Democrats with Frank, so the next thing you know, bang, McKissick is shaking hands with his hero. McKissick is interested in LGBT outreach at the DNC, and poof, he’s sitting in the director, Jeff Marootian’s office, working the Obama-Biden campaign.

When not mentoring students, Trammell can be found funding LGBT lectures at W&M with Chris Bram, fellow alum and the author of “Gods and Monsters,” or helping to fund the Boswell Project, named for John Boswell, class of 1969 — the historian of same-sex relationships in the middle ages. Ironically, Boswell was lost in the AIDS plague. Or you can find Trammell working with David Mixner on the gay issues documented in the U.S. Holocaust Museum. He’s been appointed to the board of the Association of Governing Boards of Universities and Colleges, which represents 38,000+ trustees across the U.S. He’s answering his Blade interview questions at 1 a.m. and then at press time, he’s on the front page of the Washington Post dealing with the new tuition structure. Throughout, his trips to Williamsburg and Richmond are frequent.

Davey McKissick, William & Mary, gay news, Washington Blade

Davey McKissick (class of 2014) has led a very different life on campus than his mentor, Jeff Trammell (’73), at William & Mary. (Photo courtesy of McKissick)

Back in Williamsburg, McKissick has already navigated the same gauntlet of traditions Trammell did — swimming the Crim Dell pond, jumping the wall of the Governor’s Mansion, and running the Sunken Gardens. But today, gay campus life is lived in Technicolor with Pride festivals, movie nights and the occasional drag show. There are “safe zones” throughout campus, letting LGBT students know they are welcome.

Reflecting on all this change, Trammell recalls his mother’s reaction late in life to his coming out post-college.

“Well, she was very WASPy and southern and that adds up to being polite,” Trammell said. “She said ‘Oh, honey, I’ve known that for a long time. Now, we don’t need to talk about it’.”

He got unconditional love, but conditional parameters for discussing it. McKissick’s answer to the question about his straight heroes is heart-warming. He answers: “Betty and Ron.” That would be his parents, the McKissicks.

“I could not ask for more supportive influences in my life,” he said. “They motivate me to set high goals for myself and to be relentless in achieving them.” Betty and Ron have no problem talking with — or about — their son.

“It’s remarkable to see Davey is fully out and authentic, things not possible for me back then,” Trammell said. “I think no matter what the size of your alma mater, gay alums should get back involved and support their students.”

As rector, he will officiate commencement at William & Mary Hall this summer, on the same floor he played his first basketball game.

The college marks 1918 as admitting the first woman student and 1951 the first African American. Gays have been there since 1693, but the price to pay for being admitted was no admission of who you were. Those days are steadily fading behind us.  Because of its history, W&M has been called “the alma mater of a nation:”

Hark the students voices swelling

Strong and true and clear

Alma Mater’s love their telling

Ringing far and near

Today, each student’s voice is strong and clear. Liaisons aren’t dangerous and attractions aren’t fatal to your reputation. LGBT alumni proudly join Glenn Close in a visceral connection that has sustained them all through the years.

And so, even from a famed Sunken Garden, when he’s standing on Trammell’s shoulders, McKissick can see nothing but rainbows in a clear blue sky ahead of him.

Read the previous installment of this series at washingtonblade.com. If you have alumni stories to share, reach Brent Mundt at [email protected].

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Real Estate

Home is where the heart is

Tying Valentine’s Day to LGBTQ buyers and sellers

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(Photo by sundaemorning/Bigstock)

Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a celebration of romantic love — flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. But for many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, Valentine’s Day can also be a moment to reflect on something deeper: the love that creates a safe, welcoming home.

For LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers, homeownership is more than a financial milestone—it is an act of belonging, resilience, and pride. Owning a home can mean finally having a place where you can hold hands with your partner on the front porch, decorate with your authentic style, and build a life free from judgment. In this way, buying or selling a home is one of the most meaningful love stories many LGBTQ+ people will ever write.

This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple upgrading your space, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving on to your next chapter, it’s worth thinking about how love, identity, and real estate intersect—and how to navigate that journey with confidence, protection, and the right support.

Love, Identity, and the Meaning of ‘Home’

For generations, LGBTQ+ people were denied equal access to housing, homeownership, and legal protections. Even today, many LGBTQ+ home buyers still face subtle bias, uncomfortable interactions, or outright discrimination in the real estate process.

That’s why finding LGBTQ+ friendly real estate and an affirming gay friendly realtor or lesbian realtor matters so much. A home isn’t just a building—it’s a personal sanctuary. Working with LGBTQ+ real estate agents who understand your lived experience can make all the difference between a stressful transaction and a joyful one.

For over 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the leading gay real estate network, connecting LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers with gay real estate agents, lesbian real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors who truly “get it.” Their mission has always been simple yet powerful: to ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has access to safe, respectful, and inclusive real estate services.

Finding Your Match: Choosing the Right LGBTQ+ Friendly Realtor

Much like dating, finding the right real estate agent is about compatibility, trust, and communication. Here are some key tips for choosing the best LGBTQ+ real estate representation:

  • Look for experience with LGBTQ+ clients. Search for a gay realtor near me or lesbian realtor near me through GayRealEstate.com, where agents are vetted for cultural competency and community commitment.
  • Ask about their experience with same-sex couple home buying. A strong agent should understand issues like joint ownership, legal protections, and financing considerations.
  • Choose someone who listens. You should feel safe sharing your priorities—whether that includes proximity to LGBTQ+ nightlife, affirming schools, or lesbian-friendly neighborhoods.
  • Prioritize respect and transparency. Your agent should advocate for you, not just push a quick sale.

The right gay friendly real estate agent isn’t just helping you buy a house—they’re helping you find a place to build your life.

Best Cities for LGBTQ+ Home Buyers

If love is your compass, location is your map. Some of the best cities for LGBTQ+ home buyers consistently offer strong community presence, legal protections, and welcoming neighborhoods:

  • Wilton Manors, Florida – A hub for LGBTQ+ culture with thriving LGBTQ+ real estate opportunities
  • Palm Springs, California – A long-standing LGBTQ+ retirement and second-home destination
  • Provincetown, Massachusetts – Historic LGBTQ+ community with progressive housing protections
  • Asheville, North Carolina – Growing market with inclusive real estate services
  • Fort Lauderdale, Florida – Diverse, welcoming, and highly sought-after for LGBTQ+ home ownership

Working with GayRealEstate.com allows you to connect with local LGBTQ+ real estate experts who know these markets inside and out.

Navigating Legal Protections in LGBTQ+ Real Estate

Love is universal—but legal protections are not always consistent. Understanding your rights is essential when buying or selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person.

Key protections include:

  • Fair Housing Act (FHA): Prohibits discrimination based on sex, which courts have increasingly interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • State and local protections: Many cities and states offer additional safeguards against LGBTQ+ housing discrimination.
  • Same-sex couple legal considerations: If you are married, joint ownership is typically straightforward. If not, consult an attorney about co-ownership agreements.

A knowledgeable LGBTQ+ friendly realtor from GayRealEstate.com can help guide you through these complexities and connect you with trusted legal professionals when needed.

Buying a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person: Practical Tips

If you’re embarking on your home-buying journey this Valentine’s season, here are smart, practical steps to take:

  1. Clarify your priorities. Do you want a vibrant LGBTQ+ neighborhood, quiet suburbs, or access to queer community spaces?
  2. Get pre-approved for a mortgage. This strengthens your position in competitive markets.
  3. Work with an LGBTQ+ real estate agent. Searching “finding a gay real estate agent” or “finding a lesbian real estate agent” through GayRealEstate.com is a great first step.
  4. Research inclusive communities. Some neighborhoods are more welcoming than others.
  5. Know your rights. If you experience bias, document it and seek legal guidance.

Buying a home is an act of self-love—and community love.

Selling a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person

Selling can be just as emotional as buying, especially if your home represents years of memories with your partner, friends, or chosen family.

When selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person, consider:

  • Working with a gay friendly realtor who will market your home inclusively
  • Highlighting LGBTQ+ community appeal in listings
  • Being prepared for potential buyer bias (and knowing how to respond)
  • Leaning on GayRealEstate.com’s LGBTQ+ real estate services for trusted guidance

Your story—and your home—deserve respect.

Real Estate for LGBTQ+ Families

More LGBTQ+ couples are raising children, fostering, or building blended families. This makes homeownership even more meaningful.

When searching for real estate for LGBTQ+ families, consider:

  • LGBTQ+ affirming school districts
  • Family-friendly queer communities
  • Safe neighborhoods with inclusive values
  • Access to LGBTQ+ resources and social networks

GayRealEstate.com specializes in helping LGBTQ+ families find homes that truly fit their lives.

Love, Pride, and Homeownership

At its core, Valentine’s Day is about connection. For LGBTQ+ people, homeownership can be one of the most profound expressions of love—love for yourself, your partner, your family, and your future.

Whether you are a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple relocating, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving forward, you deserve an experience rooted in dignity, fairness, and celebration.

For over three decades, GayRealEstate.com has stood as the leading source for LGBTQ+ real estate, gay real estate, lesbian real estate, and LGBTQ+ home buying and selling representation. Their nationwide network of gay real estate agents, lesbian-friendly real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors ensures that your real estate journey is guided by professionals who understand your heart—and your home.

This Valentine’s Day, let your next chapter be written in a place where you can truly belong. Because when love leads the way, home is never far behind.


Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.

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Advice

I keep getting rejected on the apps

Ready to give up on the gay dating scene

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Getting rejected on the apps? Try some old school, offline experiences to shake things up. (Photo by BAZA Production/Bigstock)

Dear Michael,

I keep getting rejected on the apps. I don’t want to put myself out there anymore.

I don’t understand gay men. I think they behave really badly.

Guys stop replying in the middle of a text conversation and then un-match me. Guys don’t show up when we make a plan to meet. After a date or even a hookup that it seems clear we both enjoyed, I never hear from the guy again.

I am a pretty good looking and successful guy. I’m not a model or a billionaire but I’m sincerely wanting to date and eventually share a life with someone.

Unfortunately, everyone I am meeting, even if they say they have similar aspirations for a partner, acts like they’re looking over my shoulder for something better, and drops me for I-don’t-know-what reason.

I don’t have a lot of trust in the sincerity of gay men.

I know I sound bitter but I’ve been at this for a while and it keeps happening.

I know there’s a saying that if it keeps happening to you, you must be the problem. Logically that makes sense.

Except, I think this keeps happening so often and so predictably that it’s not me. These people hardly know me. It’s more along the lines of, if everything about me isn’t exactly what they want, or some little thing that I say, think, or do offends them, they vanish.

I’m lonely, but what’s out there is awful. Maybe it’s best to not keep trying. 

If you have a different way of seeing it that’s honest, not just some fluff to make me feel better and be hopeful, please enlighten me.

Michael replies:

I agree with you, there is a lot of this kind of behavior out there. I hear stories similar to yours all the time. Though people do find great relationships online, relying on apps to meet a partner can be tricky.

Hookup apps have little to do with any kind of real connection. Often, they don’t even have much to do with sex. For a lot of people, they’re more about trying to fill up some kind of emptiness and seeking validation. They also, obviously, objectify men, which is the opposite experience of what you’re seeking.

And dating apps lend themselves to a sort of takeout menu concept of dating. You get to specify exactly what you’re looking for—a little of this, a lot of that, please omit something else—and then believe you should get what you ordered. As if that really exists. And when something isn’t just what you wanted, forget it. 

But life doesn’t work that way. Nor do people: You can enter the exact criteria for the man of your dreams, but he will surprise you or let you down at times in some major ways. That’s how it goes. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that we all have to deal with imperfection.

All that said, hordes of people are going to keep using all sorts of apps and keep looking for “perfect” partners and keep ditching perfectly fine guys for the most minuscule of reasons. 

But that doesn’t mean that you have to stay on the apps if it’s demoralizing you and leaving you hopeless.

Before you sign off, perhaps you would like to have some fun and be creative. Just for example, you could write in your profile that you’re interested in meeting a guy who isn’t looking for perfection and is looking for a decent soul rather than a set of stats. You still might encounter a lot of guys who ghost you for no apparent reason, but you also might have some luck finding a sincere someone with relationship goals that are similar to yours.

Another, complimentary strategy: Toughen up your attitude to stop letting let these rejections get under your skin. They have little to do with who you are (unless you are oblivious to some major issue about yourself), so you needn’t take them personally. In other words, expect this to keep happening; and when it does, laugh and keep moving forward.  

I understand you are feeling like giving up on gay men in general. Keep in mind that while there are a lot of reasons why many gay men focus more on sex and less on commitment, that isn’t true across the board. In my work over the years, I have met many gay men who are looking for what you’re seeking. You could strive to be hopeful that if you keep looking, you are likely to cross paths with some of them. 

And where you look may play a role.

Whether or not you stay on the apps, I suggest you seek additional ways to meet a potential boyfriend. Before apps existed, people did find other ways to meet romantic partners, and these ways do still exist. I know that this path is not an easy one. The whole dating endeavor isn’t easy. But difficult is not impossible.  

There are social and activity groups for gay men that are organized around some sort of shared interest. They aren’t overtly sexual, so often attract people who are interested in and looking for a deeper connection. Even if you don’t meet a boyfriend there, you might make some like-minded friends, and one thing may lead to another in all sorts of ways. 

There’s also plenty you can do as a human being (not simply as a gay man) in the offline world that might interest and even uplift you, where you just might meet a man you like. Again, you might also simply make some friends, and through having a bigger social life, might ultimately meet your guy.

Simply put: Don’t let yourself feel like or be a victim. Don’t keep putting yourself in miserable situations. And figure out what it means for you to do your best to make what you’d like to happen, happen. 

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

New year, new housing landscape for D.C. landlords

Several developments expected to influence how rental housing operates

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Muriel Bowser has advocated for more affordable housing during her time as mayor. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

As 2026 begins, Washington, D.C.’s rental housing landscape continues to evolve in ways that matter to small landlords, tenants, and the communities they serve. At the center of many of these conversations is the Small Multifamily & Rental Owners Association (SMOA), a D.C.–based organization that advocates for small property owners and the preservation of the city’s naturally occurring affordable housing.

At their December “DC Housing Policy Summit,” city officials, housing researchers, lenders, attorneys, and housing providers gathered to discuss the policies and proposals shaping the future of rental housing in the District. The topics ranged from recent legislative changes to emerging ballot initiatives and understanding how today’s policy decisions will affect housing stability tomorrow.

Why Housing Policy Matters in 2026

If you are a landlord or a tenant, several developments now underway in D.C., are expected to influence how rental housing operates in the years ahead.

One of the most significant developments is the Rebalancing Expectations for Neighbors, Tenants and Landlords (RENTAL) Act of 2025, a sweeping piece of legislation passed last fall and effective December 31, 2025, which updates a range of housing laws. This broad housing reform law will modernize housing regulations and address long-standing court backlogs, and in a practical manner, assist landlords with shortened notice and filing requirements for lawsuits.  The Act introduces changes to eviction procedures, adjusts pre-filing notice timelines, and modifies certain tenant protections under previous legislation, the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act. 

At the same time, the District has expanded its Rent Registry, to have a better overview of licensed rental units in the city with updated technology that tracks rental units subject to and exempt from rent control and other related housing information. Designed to improve transparency and enforcement, Rent Registry makes it easier for all parties to verify rent control status and compliance.

Looking ahead to the 2026 election cycle, a proposed ballot initiative for a two-year rent freeze is generating significant conversation. If it qualifies for the ballot and is approved by voters, the measure would pause rent increases across the District for two years. While still in the proposal phase, it reflects the broader focus on tenant affordability that continues to shape housing policy debates.

What This Means for Rental Owners

Taken together, these changes underscore how closely policy and day-to-day operations are connected for small landlords. Staying informed about notice requirements, registration obligations, and evolving regulations isn’t just a legal necessity. It’s a key part of maintaining stable, compliant rental properties.

With discussions underway about rent stabilization, voucher policies, and potential rent freezes, long-term revenue projections will be influenced by regulatory shifts just as much as market conditions alone. Financial and strategic planning becomes even more important to protect your interests.

Preparing for the Changes

As the owner of a property management company here in the District, I’ve spent much of the past year thinking about how these changes translate from legislation into real-world operations.

The first priority has been updating our eviction and compliance workflows to align with the RENTAL Act of 2025. That means revising how delinquent rent cases are handled, adjusting notice procedures, and helping owners understand how revised timelines and court processes may affect the cost, timing, and strategy behind enforcement decisions.

Just as important, we’re shifting toward earlier, more proactive communication around compliance and regulatory risk. Rather than reacting after policies take effect, we’re working to flag potential exposure in advance, so owners can make informed decisions before small issues become costly problems.

A Bigger Picture for 2026

Housing policy in Washington, D.C., has always reflected the city’s values from protecting tenants to preserving affordability in rapidly changing neighborhoods. As those policies continue to evolve, the challenge will be finding the right balance between stability for renters and sustainability for the small property owners who provide much of the city’s housing.

The conversations happening now at policy summits, in Council chambers, and across neighborhood communities will shape how rental housing is regulated. For landlords, tenants, and legislators alike, 2026 represents an opportunity to engage thoughtfully, to ask hard questions, and to create a future where compliance, fairness, and long-term stability go hand-in-hand.

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