Living
Students need to see themselves in what they read
Inclusive curricula and policies benefit all learners
Schools and communities should be places where students and families feel welcomed safe and supported by all adults responsible for their success and well-being. Many communities and schools across the country are reporting an increase in hate speech and bias, xenophobia, racism, sexism, anti-LGBT, anti-immigrant, and anti-semitism. In the last few weeks alone there have been several reported incidents of hate speech and bias in the media.
This is why the new bill that requires New Jersey middle and high school students to be taught the political, economic and social contributions of notable disabled persons and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people throughout history that Gov. Murphy signed is so important. That is why diversifying curriculum and visibility are so important. This new bill joins earlier bills that created the Amistad Commission, which requires New Jersey schools to incorporate African-American history into social studies curriculum and the Holocaust Commission, which requires New Jersey schools to teach responsibly about the Holocaust. The State of New Jersey is showing students of multiple, diverse and complex identities that they matter and that adults care about their well-being.
Students need to see themselves in what they read, across the curricula, in hallways, classrooms, the cafeteria and playground, and in caring adults, teachers, leaders and policymakers who mirror and reflect our diverse student populations and communities. Studies have shown that creating welcoming inclusive environments, curriculum and policies benefits all student learners and helps them understand the world around them, strengthen critical thinking and respectful behavior. A new report from the Trevor Project showed that one caring adult can save a LGBTQ young persons life and decrease the chance of a suicide attempt by 40%. Visibility matters. Words matter. Actions matter. That is why it is important that schools, communities and elected officials can and should work together to create welcoming inclusive safer schools for all students and families.
Every student benefits when fellow students feel safe and valued and when students learn about themselves and each other. No one should have to work or go to school where they are subject to prejudice, bullying, bias or harassment. No one should feel unwelcome or unsafe because of who they are, who they love or what they believe. It is up to us – all of us– to ensure that we are creating inclusive welcoming safer schools and communities for all students to thrive inside and outside of the classroom. We need teachers, leaders and policy makers that recognize all students diverse needs and challenges and who embrace their role as a leading voice that lifts up and empowers student voices of all backgrounds, faith, origins, abilities, income or identity – especially our most vulnerable and marginalized student voices.
That is why it will take a whole-community approach across a continuum to assist school leaders, educators, stakeholders, parents and students and having courageous conversations around cultural responsiveness, bias and equity. We all have a shared responsibility and an important role to play in maintaining and building a safe, welcoming and affirming learning environment for all our students. Hate speech, bias and discrimination impact all students; that’s why we must call out hate speech and bias whenever we see it or hear it. We must condemn all forms of hate speech and violence and denounce expressions of hate and bias in our classrooms and communities.
Perhaps even more importantly, as adults we must look at how are we modeling behavior, actions and expectations – how are we are modeling and building a positive respectful welcoming environment in which students of all identities are lifted up, and every aspect of a whole-child is valued. Together we can create inclusive safe schools for all students and families.
To the youth of every religion or faith, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, ability or disability, economic status, race or ethnicity, culture, place of origin, home language, immigration status: You matter. You are loved. You are not alone. You are welcome here.
Shannon Cuttle is a nationally recognized safe schools leader, policymaker, and educator. They also are the first openly non-binary person elected in New Jersey and serve on the South Orange – Maplewood Board of Education. The views here expressed are solely their own and do not represent the SOMSD Board of Education or any institution.
Real Estate
The rise of virtual home tours
Adapting to changing consumer preferences in spring real estate
In today’s dynamic real estate market, the spring season brings not only blooming flowers but also a surge of activity as buyers and sellers alike prepare to make their moves. However, in recent years, there’s been a notable shift in how consumers prefer to explore potential homes: the rise of virtual tours.
For the LGBTQ community, these virtual experiences offer more than just convenience; they provide accessibility, safety, and inclusivity in the home buying process.
Gone are the days of spending weekends driving from one open house to another – unless that’s your thing of course, only to find that the property doesn’t quite match expectations. With virtual tours, you can explore every corner of a home from the comfort of your own space – find something interesting? Schedule a showing with any LGBTQ Realtor at GayRealEstate.com.
This is particularly significant for LGBTQ individuals, who may face unique challenges or concerns when attending in-person showings. Whether it’s the ability to discreetly view properties without fear of discrimination or the convenience of touring homes located in LGBTQ-friendly neighborhoods across the country, virtual tours offer a sense of empowerment and control in the home buying process.
Moreover, virtual tours cater to the diverse needs of the LGBTQ community. For couples or families with busy schedules or those living in different cities or states, these digital walkthroughs provide a convenient way to view properties together without the need for extensive travel. Additionally, for individuals who may be exploring their gender identity or transitioning, virtual tours offer a low-pressure environment to explore potential living spaces without the added stress of in-person interactions.
At GayRealEstate.com, we understand the importance of adapting to changing consumer preferences and leveraging technology to better serve our community. That’s why our agents offer an extensive selection of virtual tours for LGBTQ individuals and allies alike – visit our website, choose an agent and within minutes you’ll have access to the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) via their website.
From cozy condominiums in bustling urban centers to sprawling estates in picturesque suburbs, virtual tours showcase a wide range of properties tailored to diverse tastes and lifestyles.
In addition to virtual tours, GayRealEstate.com provides comprehensive resources and support to guide LGBTQ buyers and sellers through every step of the real estate journey. Our network of LGBTQ-friendly agents is committed to providing personalized service, advocacy, and representation to ensure that all individuals feel respected, valued, and empowered throughout the process. Plus, we are happy to provide a free relocation kit to any city in the USA or Canada if you are a home buyer.
As we embrace the spring season and all the opportunities it brings in the real estate market, let’s also celebrate the power of virtual tours to revolutionize the way we find and experience our future homes. Whether you’re searching for your first apartment, forever home, or investment property, GayRealEstate.com is here to help you navigate the exciting world of real estate with confidence, pride, and inclusivity.
Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].
Advice
Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?
Debating whether to leave or stay after the sex goes cold
Dear Michael,
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the sex is pretty much gone. It stopped being exciting a long time ago and pretty much the only time we ever do it is with the occasional third.
A really hot guy moved into our building about a year ago. We would see each other sometimes in the elevator or at our building’s gym and we started talking and really hit it off. Mark is 15 years younger than I but we seem to have a lot in common. We started hooking up and the sex is amazing.
I haven’t told my husband because it’s breaking our rule about no repeats. I have to say that the secrecy is hot. It’s kind of a thrill to take the elevator upstairs when I say I’m going on an errand. But it’s more than that. I have a connection with Mark that is far more amazing than what I have ever felt with my husband. Not just the sex. We just enjoy being together, talking about anything and everything.
My husband went to visit his family last weekend and I spent the whole time with Mark. Since then I can’t stop thinking that I want to leave my husband and be with Mark.
Part of me thinks this is a crazy mid-life crisis. I mean, this kid’s in a totally different place in life. But we have mind-blowing sex and a fantastic connection. I’d like your thoughts on how to proceed.
Michael replies:
You’ve got a lot to consider.
First: Sex with a long-term partner changes over time. It tends to be less about erotic heat and more about the connection with a person whom you love. In other words, it’s being with the person you’re with that makes the sex meaningful and even great. Having a good sexual relationship with a long-term partner comes far more from a heart connection than from a crotch attachment.
Second: You seem ready to throw your relationship under the bus pretty quickly, without addressing other problems in the relationship besides sex. When you are sneaking around, lying, and rule-breaking , I don’t see how you can look your husband in the eye; and if you can’t look him in the eye, you certainly can’t have even a half-way decent relationship.
Yet another point to consider: Affairs pretty much always seem more exciting than marriage. The partner is new, which almost automatically makes the sex hotter; the secrecy is a thrill; and you don’t have to deal with paying the rent, house chores, and all the petty annoyances of living up-close with someone day-in, day-out.
You are bringing lots of energy to your affair, and everything about it is exciting. You are bringing no energy — at least no positive energy — to your marriage. You get what you put into a relationship.
Divorce is not something that should be entered into lightly. Be aware that if you leave your husband for Mark, you will no doubt find over time that the sex becomes less exciting and that the connection is not always fantastic. No surprise, 75 percent of marriages that begin with affair partners end in divorce. While I don’t think statistics predict what will happen to any particular couple, believing that you will have a significantly better relationship with your affair partner than you did with your husband sets you up for likely disappointment.
Many gay men focus on “hot sex” as the big draw, pursuing a lot of sex with a lot of men, and/or pursuing an ongoing series of relationships that last until the sex cools. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But it’s a different path from pursuing a close and loving long-term relationship, which involves knowing someone well and having him know you well; collaborating on getting through the hard stuff life throws at us; finding ways to make peace with disappointment; and consistently striving to be someone worth being married to.
How to proceed? While you are the only person who should make that decision, I would suggest that whatever your choice, keep in mind that marriage can be more than what you’ve made of it, so far.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Autos
Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class
Updated cabins, adept handling, and more
Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend.
Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.”
And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan.
If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink).
JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE
$40,000
MPG: 19 city/26 highway
0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds
Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft.
PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing
CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels
IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds.
There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition.
Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.
I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system.
The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level.
MERCEDES GLE-CLASS
$64,000
MPG: 20 city/25 highway
0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds
Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft.
PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy
CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors
IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two.
Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles.
My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.
You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly.
Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls.
It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.
Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.
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Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?
Malcolm Kenyatta could become the first LGBTQ statewide elected official in Pa.
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Mexico3 days agoMexican Senate approves bill to ban conversion therapy
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Advice3 days agoShould I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?