Obituary
Howard Bragman, veteran publicist and LGBTQ activist, dies at 66
PR guru died of leukemia on Saturday
Howard Bragman died Saturday, 13 days before his 67th birthday. With the media focused on the Super Bowl, the horrific earthquake in Turkey, and UFOs in American airspace, Howard’s death has been mostly noted in the entertainment trades with little attention paid to the significant decades-long behind-the-scenes impact he had on his beloved LGBTQ movement.
Thank heavens for TMZ, with whom Howard sometimes worked closely to produce a respectful story about his PR clients, for explaining what happened.
“Howard was set to attend a wedding in Mexico with his partner, Mike Maimone, this month — but wanted to get checked out by his doctor before his travels for what he thought was a gum infection and mild fever,” TMZ reported. “Unfortunately, after testing, Bragman was diagnosed with the most aggressive form of leukemia a person can have — and it progressed ‘explosively.’ Howard was hospitalized on Feb. 2 and died less than two weeks after.”
I can’t imagine the panic at having something you need to get checked and fixed before going on a glorious trip suddenly turn into an inexplicable death sentence. My heart breaks for Howard, his partner and their families, friends and dogs. It also triggers my old PTSD about how we LGBTQ people had to face similar panic during the waves of AIDS crisis when death sentence test results happened almost every day until the miracle drug cocktail became available in 1996.
That’s what made Howard so special, so different from cut-throat manipulative Hollywood “flacks.” This highly regarded, in-demand public relations professional, crisis management expert and the go-to guy for celebrities who wanted to come out of the closet never forgot where he came from.
“As a fat, Jewish, gay kid in Flint, Michigan, I always felt like a Martian,” he said in announcing a $1 million endowment in 2021 to establish the Howard Bragman Coming Out Fund at the University of Michigan, operated by the LGBTQ Spectrum Center. “This campus allows you to be yourself. It allows you to spread your wings in the way you want to spread your wings. I tell people, ‘Stay strong, even when it hurts.’ And, I promise, it hurts sometimes. But, there are places that will help you ease the pain sometimes. That’s what the Spectrum Center did. That’s what Michigan did.”
Bragman added: “I don’t care how liberal the school is. I don’t care how accepting and loving your parents are. I don’t care how ‘woke’ the times are. Coming out is this most personal of journeys, and it’s a challenging journey. It’s so important for students to know they are not alone.”
I met Howard in 1989 when I was just starting in “gay” journalism and he had just co-founded Bragman Nyman Cafarelli. He dressed well but he was funny, down-to-earth and unpretentious. He sincerely cared about the people he was advising — from the rich celebrities to AIDS organizations he served pro bono. He was also very good about reaching out to the gay press, which is how I got my first introduction into the issue of the federal government’s ban on gays and lesbians serving openly in the U.S. military.
One of Howard’s first pro bono clients was Naval Academy midshipman Joe Steffan who was forced to resign six weeks before graduation because he revealed that he was gay.
Howard, gay San Francisco Chronicle journalist and fellow 12 Stepper Randy Shilts and I talked about this, among other issues, walking our dogs in a large dog park off Mulholland Boulevard. Randy later wrote about Howard in his opus “Conduct Unbecoming: Lesbians and Gays in the U.S. Military Vietnam to the Persian Gulf,” published in 1993. (Randy died of AIDS the following year. He was 42.)
After filing his lawsuit in District Court on Dec. 29, 1988, challenging the constitutionality of the gay ban, Steffan and his Lambda Legal attorneys met with reporters, who Steffan was surprised to find were supportive. Howard signed on late in 1989.
“Bragman had thoroughly impeccable professional credentials,” Randy wrote. “He had been vice president of Burson-Marsteller before launching his own public relations business in Beverly Hills. His client roster included L.A. Gear, the trendy shoe manufacturer, and numerous entertainment celebrities. At 33, he was also young enough to be comfortable being openly gay and felt obliged to devote a portion of his time and talent to support the gay movement. In Steffen, Bragman saw a man much like himself, a gay professional rather than a professional gay, but someone also committed to diminishing the prejudice gays faces in their daily lives. By late 1989, largely due to Bragman’s efforts, Joe Steffen would become the most visible gay person in America.”
That AIDS hung like a scrim over much of heterosexual thinking during the AIDS years became accidentally evident in 1991 during the long course of Steffen’s case.
“A Federal District judge ruled today that the military’s ban on homosexuals in the armed forces was justified to prevent the spread of AIDS,” Eric Schmitt wrote in the New York Times on Dec. 10, 1991. “Other Federal courts have upheld the Pentagon’s ban, but the 35-page ruling issued today by Judge Oliver Gasch of the United States District Court for the District of Columbia is unusual for its reasoning. Neither the Defense Department nor the plaintiff, a gay midshipman who sued the United States Naval Academy over discrimination against homosexuals, raised the issue of AIDS. But Judge Gasch said the Government’s policy of excluding homosexuals ‘is rational in that it is directed, in part, at preventing those who are at the greatest risk of dying of AIDS from serving.’”
In his tribute to Howard, Cyd Zeigler, co-founder of Outsports.com, notes that grappling with the stigma of AIDS over all those years, helped build his career.
“Howard Bragman wasn’t just a publicist to the stars. He was an important trailblazer for the LGBT community who fought tirelessly for thoughtful, fair coverage of gay and lesbian people in sports and entertainment. And he was a dear friend,” Zeigler wrote, noting how Howard helped gay former NFL player Esera Tuaolo come out publicly in 2002 and, with Zeigler in 2006, former NBA player John Amaechi and subsequently athletes such as WNBA player Sheryl Swoopes, golfer Rosie Jones and most famously, University of Missouri defensive player Michael Sam as he prepared for the NFL Draft.
“The truth is always what you got from Howard,” Zeigler wrote. “While his job was often crisis management when stars made mistakes, his general approach was to tackle the issue head-on. Howard wasn’t a bullshitter, he’d tell you what he thinks and he had the confidence and fortitude to stick to his guns. As a gay man in Hollywood in the 80s and 90s during the AIDS epidemic, it was that strength that helped him build a career even as stigma built.”
Howard, who subsequently launched Fifteen Minutes and later La Brea Media, represented a slew of famous folks and often appeared as an on-air expert for TV programs. In 1991, he helped bring out actor Dick Sargent, the second Darrin and loving husband to Elizabeth Montgomery in “Bewitched” and “Family Ties” mom Meredith Baxter before she was outed in the tabloids. Howard also helped Chaz Bono navigate his very public transgender transition.
For me, one of my most poignant coming out interviews was with Chely Wright. “Country star Chely Wright is celebrating her birthday of choice: she officially came out as gay in People magazine and NBC’s Today Show. Her coming out coincides with the release of her new extraordinary memoir Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer and her latest release, Lifted off the Ground, (iTunes) her first album in five years,” I wrote in the Huffington Post July 6, 2010. “The public’s attention will no doubt focus on Wright’s revelation about being gay, something she denied when confronted about rumors by country singer John Rich. But in her book and album — and in her interview with me — Wright talks about a more universal truth: how the self-loathing that comes from keeping a shameful secret can lead to despair and thoughts of suicide — and how telling that secret can lead to a kind of glorious liberation.”
Howard and I didn’t always agree. He considered himself a bridge-builder and seemed convinced that both Isaiah Washington — who described fellow actor T.R. Knight as a “faggot” on the set of Grey’s Anatomy — and San Diego real estate developer and Manchester Grand Hyatt and the Grand del Mar Resort hotelier Doug Manchester — who gave $125,000 to the floundering Yes on 8 campaign, spurring it on to electoral victory in 2008 — were not homophobic but rather men who had made mistakes and wanted to make amends. He thought the gay community should get to a place of forgiveness and not be mean and vindictive. I had real trouble with that.
But Howard also offered that kernel of painful truth that must be heard — whether we like it or not. “Despite Mr. Manchester’s donations, what our own community needs to understand is that we lost Prop. 8 because of the decisions we made — because of the ways we campaigned and didn’t campaign. The only way we’re ever going to win is by reaching into the middle to change hearts and minds,” he told Advocate.com. Howard was not alone in that assessment.
On a personal note, Howard and I became friends over the years, recognizing in each other the deep and soulful commitment to our people. He was one of the first people to reach out to me after Frontiers decided I was too old to be the news editor for LA’s then-most important LGBTQ publication. It was a kindness I will never forget.
Howard Bragman was a mainstream star. But it is critical that we not forget or that we find out here and by researching our own history how instrumental he was in guiding those living in glass closets to come out and energize their own authentic selves in the LGBTQ movement.
Here’s a link to the Norman Lear Center sponsored panel “The Glass Closet: In and Out in Hollywood and Washington” Sept. 27, 2007, at USC’s Annenberg School for Communication. The panel was moderated by Bragman, with panelists ASC Professor Larry Gross and journalists Ray Richmond, Greg Hernandez, Karen Ocamb, Shana Krochmal, David Ehrenstein and actor Wilson Cruz.
WATCH: “The Glass Closet: In and Out in Hollywood and Washington”
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Karen Ocamb is the former news editor of the Los Angeles Blade. She is an award-winning journalist who, upon graduating from Skidmore College, started her professional career at CBS News in New York.
Ocamb started in LGBTQ media in the late 1980s after more than 100 friends died from AIDS. She covered the spectrum of the LGBTQ movement for equality until June 2020, including pressing for LGBTQ data collection during the COVID pandemic.
Since leaving the Los Angeles Blade Ocamb joined Public Justice in March of 2021 to advocate for civil rights and social, economic, and racial justice issues.
She lives in West Hollywood, Calif., with her 15-year-old Pepper.
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Obituary
Beloved schoolteacher, D.C. resident Patrick Shaw dies at 60
Colleagues, friends say he ‘touched so many lives’ with warmth, kindness
Patrick Dewayne Shaw, a highly acclaimed elementary school teacher who taught and served as vice principal in several D.C. schools since moving to the District in 2002, died April 19 at the age of 60.
His friend Dusty Martinez said his passing was unexpected and caused by a heart related ailment.
“Patrick touched so many lives with his warmth, humor, kindness, and unmistakable spark,” Martinez said in a statement. “He was a truly special soul – funny, vibrant, sassy, and full of life, and we are heartbroken by his loss,” Martinez wrote.
Among those reflecting on Shaw’s skills as an educator were his colleagues at D.C.’s Mundo Verde Bilingual Public Charter School, where he served as a second-grade special education teacher since August 2023.
“Patrick brought warmth, joy, and deep commitment to Mundo Verde,” his colleagues said in an Instagram posting. “His daily Broadway sing-alongs, vibrant outfits, and genuine love for his students filled our community with energy and laughter,” the posting says.
Biographical information provided by Martinez and Karen Rivera Geating, a senior inclusion manager at the Mundo Verde school and Shaw’s supervisor, shows Shaw had a distinguished 38-year teaching career and multiple degrees in the field of education.
He was born and raised in Little Rock, Ark., and graduated from Little Rock’s Catholic High School for Boys.
He received two bachelor’s degrees, one in philosophy from St. Meinrad Seminary College in Indiana and one in elementary education from the University of Minnesota in St. Paul.
The biographical information shows Shaw received three master’s degrees. One is in secondary education and history from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. His second master’s degree is in special education from The Catholic University of Washington, D.C. His third master’s degree is in school administration from Trinity College in D.C.
Shaw began his teaching career in 1987 in Little Rock, Ark., as a fourth grade General Education Teacher at Our Lady of Good Counsel School and a short time later at Little Rock’s St. Theresa Catholic School as a fourth-eighth grade teacher through December 1989.
He next moved to Minnesota where he spent part of the 1990s as a fifth and sixth grade teacher and a physical education instructor, according to biographical information. His resume shows that from January 1995 to December 1998 he was associated with the Minnesota AIDS Project in Minneapolis.
He “recruited, interviewed and staffed volunteer education and transportation programs for people living with HIV and AIDS,” his resume states.
Shaw next returned to Little Rock where he served from January 1998 to December 2004 as Theology Department Chair at the Mt. St. Mary Academy. His work included creating theology lessons for ninth-12th graders and creating a social justice program for 12th graders.
Upon moving to D.C., Shaw served as classroom teacher and vice principal at several schools, including the D.C. Public School’s Benning Elementary School; vice principal at Chavez Prep Public Charter School; vice principal at Bridges Public Charter School; Special Education Coordinator at Monument Academy Public Charter School; and Special Education Case Management and Math Intervention Specialist at D.C.’s College Preparatory Academy for Boys.
“Patrick dedicated 38 wonderful years to teaching, from 1987 to 2025, inspiring generations of students with his passion, wit, and kindness,” Martinez said in his statement.
Shaw was predeceased by his mother, Myrna G. Shaw, and is survived by his father, Thomas H. Shaw, his brother, James Shaw (Michele), his sister, Angela Mahairi (Wafai), and his cherished niece and nephews Austin, Tariq, Reed, Ramy, and Jasmine, according to information provided by Martinez.
Martinez said a funeral mass would soon be held in Little Rock, Shaw’s hometown.
“His family will be honoring one of his last wishes,” Martinez wrote, “to be returned home and remembered in a unique and meaningful way” – by having a tree planted in his honor, “a living tribute to the full and beautiful life he lived.”
Details of the location of the planted tree will be shared soon to offer a place where “friends and family can visit, reflect, and stay connected with his spirit,” Martinez states.
In D.C. a celebration of life for Shaw is scheduled to be held Saturday, May 3, from 2-5 p.m. at JR.’s bar at 1519 17th Street, N.W. Martinez points out that the tribute will be held during JR.’s weekly Saturday “Showtunes” event, in which sing-along performances of famous Broadway musicals are shown on video screens.
“JR.’s Saturday Showtunes were one of Patrick’s absolute favorite traditions, and gathering in that spirit feels like the perfect way to honor him,” Martinez said.
“Many have asked how they can help,” Martinez concludes in his statement. “In response we’ve created a GoFundMe page to support funeral expenses, help find a loving home for Patrick’s beloved dog, Birdie, and assist with other needs during this difficult time.”
Any remaining funds, according to Martinez, will be donated to a charity “that reflects Patrick’s passions and values.”
The GoFundMe page can be accessed at: gofundme.com/f/honoring-patrick-shaws-vibrant-legacy.
Obituary
Local attorney, LGBTQ rights advocate Dale Sanders dies at 75
Acclaimed lawyer credited with advancing legal rights for people with HIV/AIDS
Dale Edwin Sanders, an attorney who practiced law in D.C. and Northern Virginia for more than 40 years and is credited with playing a key role in providing legal services for people living with HIV/AIDS beginning in the early 1980s, died April 10 at the age of 75.
His brother, Wade Sanders, said the cause of death was a heart attack that occurred at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore shortly after he had back surgery.
Wade Sanders described his brother as a “trial lawyer, passionate criminal defense, and civil litigator for human rights” for close to 50 years, with some of his work focused on “civil law, notably gay-related insurance discrimination during the AIDS epidemic.”
He called his brother “a zealous advocate for the oppressed, his clients, and his personal convictions.”
Born in Arlington, Va., and raised in McLean, Va., Dale Sanders graduated from Langley High School in McLean and received his bachelor’s degree from the University of Virginia, his brother said. He received his law degree from D.C.’s American University Washington College of Law and began his law practice in 1976 in Old Town, Alexandria, Wade Sanders said.
Amy Nelson, director of Legal Services for D.C. ‘s Whitman-Walker Health, said Sanders became one of Whitman-Walker’s original volunteer pro-bono attorneys in the 1980s.
“Dale was a beloved part of the legal services program and our medical-legal partnership for nearly 40 years,” Nelson said. “Dale was one of the clinic’s first volunteer attorneys at Whitman-Walker’s weekly, legal walk-in clinic offering free counseling to clients about their legal rights in the face of HIV/AIDS and LGBT discrimination from employers, landlords, medical providers, and insurance companies,” according to Nelson.
Nelson added, “Dale represented dozens of people impacted by the ignorance and prejudice attendant to an HIV/AIDS diagnosis, and his litigation wins were instrumental in advancing the legal rights of persons living with HIV/AIDS.”
Sanders’s most recent case on behalf of Whitman-Walker took place in 2023 in support of a transgender woman in Virginia who faced discrimination from her employer and health insurer, Nelson said.
In 1989, Whitman-Walker presented Sanders with its Gene Frey Award for Volunteer Service, and in 1994 presented him with its Founders Award for Pro Bono Legal Services, Nelson told the Blade. She said in 2024, Whitman-Walker re-named its annual Going the Extra Mile Pro Bono Award as the Dale Sanders Award for Pro Bono Excellence.
“Dale’s legacy helped to shape HIV/AIDS law, and his fierce commitment to justice will live on at Whitman-Walker Health,” Nelson said in a statement. “We will miss him dearly.”
Daniel Bruner, who served as Whitman-Walker’s legal services director prior to Amy Nelson taking that position, said Sanders played a role in shaping his own legal skills and knowledge.
“Dale was one of my earliest legal models among local, and national, advocates for people living with HIV and LGBT people,” Bruner told the Blade. “He was a fierce, persistent advocate for his clients and for the community,” Bruner said, adding, “He won key victories in several cases where employees’ or health care patients’ privacy had been egregiously violated. I certainly will never forget him.”
Wade Sanders said his brother was also an avid bridge player, saying he played competitively. “He earned the rank of Ruby Life Master, a pretty big deal in the bridge world,” Wade Sanders said.
Dale Sanders is survived by his husband, Christian Samonte; his sister, Joyce Sanders of York, S.C.; his brother Wade Sanders of West Jefferson, N.C.; and his beloved dogs Langley and Abigail, his brother said in a statement.
A memorial service for Dale Sanders organized by the Sanders family and the LGBTQ Catholic group Dignity Washington will be held Saturday, May 10, at 1 p.m. at St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church at 1830 Connecticut Ave., N.W. in D.C., a Dignity Washington spokesperson said.
Obituary
Nanette Kazaoka, an unlikely AIDS activist, dies at 83
Member of ACT-UP, longtime social justice advocate
Nanette Kazaoka, a well-known figure in the fight for HIV/AIDS awareness and the rights of marginalized communities, passed away on Oct. 2 at her home in New York City. She was 83. The cause of death was complications from vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, according to a statement from her daughter Kelly Kochendorfer.
Kazaoka was an advocate for justice, particularly in the early days of the AIDS crisis, when she became a member of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, or ACT-Up. She is perhaps best remembered for her participation in a 2004 protest in front of Madison Square Garden during the Republican National Convention, when she and 11 fellow activists staged a dramatic naked demonstration, demanding debt cancellation for impoverished countries, according to a statement from the family.
“Bush, Stop AIDS. Drop the Debt Now!” they chanted, with slogans stenciled in black paint on their bodies. The bold protest drew national attention and underscored the urgency of global debt relief as a key element in the fight against AIDS.
She was born Nanette Natalina Bottinelli on June 12, 1941, in New York City. Her father, Angelo, worked as a waiter at the St. Regis Hotel, while her mother, Betty McComb, was a part-time burlesque dancer.
She married her first husband, Fred Kochendorfer, in 1963, and they had two children together, Kim Skrobe and Kelly, both of whom survive her.
Kazaoka’s journey to Fire Island marked a transformative period in her life. Kochendorfer wanted to live there, and so they began renting in 1967. Kazaoka then made a bold decision that would shape her future: She left her husband for another man and began living on Fire Island in 1968-1969, with the children attending school in Ocean Beach, according to the family’s statement.
This period coincided with the early days of the gay rights movement, as Fire Island was emerging as a hub for LGBTQ culture. Her experiences during these years contributed to the strong sense of activism and solidarity that would later define her role in ACT-UP and the broader fight for LGBTQ rights.
Kazaoka’s second husband, Katsushiga “Kats” Kazaoka, a Japanese-American psychologist who had been interred during World War II, died of cancer in 1984, pushing her to enter the workforce as a receptionist while studying occupational therapy at Downstate Medical Center. By 1990, she had earned her degree and sought work with AIDS patients.
In 1988, a close friend introduced her to ACT-UP, sparking the start of her full-time dedication to AIDS activism, the family said. Kazaoka became known for her passionate, unrelenting activism, whether protesting at City Hall or challenging anti-LGBTQ policies at St. Luke’s Hospital.
Kazaoka’s activism spanned 35 years, making her a beloved and respected figure within ACT-UP and beyond, the family noted. She was featured in Sarah Schulman’s “Let the Record Show: A Political History of ACT-Up New York, 1987-1993” as well as “Act-Up Oral History, No. 162,” a digital history. She was the cover photo of “Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community,” and was included in The New York Times T Living Magazine story, “LEGENDS PIONEERS AND SURVIVORS.
Her dedication to science continued even after her passing: She donated her brain to the Mount Sinai NIH Brain and Tissue Repository for research to advance the understanding of the human brain health and disease to help end dementia, the family said.
Along with her daughters, Kazaoka is survived by her son-in-law John Skrobe, granddaughter Stella Skrobe and daughter-in-law Christine Arax, all of New York. She and her third husband, Paul Haskell, divorced in 2000.
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