Living
Gay Hill staffer remembered for humor, dedication
Crowe, 29, succumbed to staph infection
The booming voice of Katy Perry accompanying a techno-dance beat of her song “Firework” jolted Kyle Murphy from sleep a couple months ago at 3 a.m.
Curious about the disturbance, Murphy arose from bed to find his best friend and roommate Christopher Crowe dancing on top of their kitchen island.
“I didn’t know what was going on,” Murphy said. “He had brought some friends home and the first thing I saw was him standing on the island in our kitchen dancing to Katy Perry. He was kind of the life of the party.”
For Murphy, who had known Crowe for more than five years since they interned together at the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund, the memory represents Crowe’s over-the-top personality and willingness to go to great lengths to entertain others.
“Somebody had collected some quotes he used to say in his office, and one of them was ‘I say ‘no’ to drugs, and that’s it,'” Murphy said. “And that kind of, I felt like, summed up his personality.”
Crowe died last week at the Washington Hospital Center from a staph infection that damaged his heart after he contracted meningitis last summer.
Crowe, 29, who was gay, served as president of the LGBT Congressional Staff Association and as a staffer for Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-Texas). The death of the Kentucky native struck many Capitol Hill staffers and LGBT advocates with grief and prompted fond recollections of his life this week.
Johnson issued a statement expressing sorrow over the loss of her longtime staffer and sympathy for his family and loved ones.
“He was respected by his colleagues for his professionalism; he was beloved by many for his generous spirit and good humor,” Johnson said. “He was a person who enjoyed life and always had a smile to share. He never met a stranger.”
Many friends who worked with him on Capitol Hill and in LGBT advocacy had similar recollections of Crowe’s outgoing personality, which they said enabled him to make fast friends.
Marcus Paulsen, who’s gay and an administrative coordinator for the nonprofit group Community Wealth Ventures, said Crowe had a unique way of making others feel at ease.
“He was always laughing, and it didn’t matter if you told the dumbest joke,” Paulsen said. “He always would find it funny and could find something hysterical about it.”
A Dallas native, Paulsen said Crowe helped him obtain a position as an intern, and later a staffer, in Johnson’s office, where the two worked together for a year-and-a-half.
Paulsen recalled a time in December 2009 when he and Crowe participated in a retreat for staffers in Johnson’s office in Texas. Identifying the experience as one of his fondest memories of Crowe, Paulsen said people he knew from his home state easily made friends with Crowe.
“For me, it was kind of two worlds coming together: my D.C. life and my Texas life,” Paulsen said. “I wasn’t really sure how people would react to some of my D.C. friends and Chris, but he just had this way of becoming really close with people and everybody just absolutely adored him.”
Jason Mida, the Victory Fund’s vice president of development, knew Crowe from his days as an intern at the organization in 2005 and said Crowe had a unique way of drawing others to him.
“It didn’t matter who you were, it didn’t matter what your political affiliation was,” said Mida, who’s gay. “People were drawn to Chris. He was a ball of life and people wanted to be around him because you just felt better. You felt better about yourself; you felt better about things in general when he was around.”
Scott Simpson, press secretary of the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, knew Crowe from working together on the LGBT Congressional Staff Association and said he admired the confidence that gave Crowe the ability to speak with anyone.
“He had an ease about dealing with any range of people,” Simpson said. “Chris wouldn’t think twice about calling up the highest-level person in an agency or to the lowest-level person.”
Simpson said Crowe’s care for others enabled him to stay engaged with friends even as he struggled with meningitis for several months.
“This was a man who was in the emergency room,” Simpson said. “He was sending e-mails, text messages, asking how things are going, asking if he can help. If you didn’t know that Chris was sick, if you weren’t informed about it, people never knew.”
While always eager to have a good time with others, Crowe was also known among his friends as a passionate worker in both legislative affairs and LGBT advocacy.
Murphy, a communications specialist for the National Minority AIDS Council, recalled that Crowe’s dedication enabled him to rise quickly to become a high-level staffer for Johnson and to get elected as president of LGBT Congressional Staff Association.
“Everything that I heard about him was that he was amazing — not the greatest writer — but he had dyslexia, but he worked through that very well and didn’t let anything hold him back,” Murphy said.
Simpson recalled his days as president of the LGBT Congressional Staff Association before he left Capitol Hill when Crowe served as his deputy. The two worked on recreating the association after it had long been dormant.
Even though their work in recreating the association involved activity on rewriting bylaws and other less-than-exciting tasks, Crowe found ways to make the work enjoyable.
“Chris made people come to these meetings and actually enjoy themselves and actually laugh,” Simpson said. “He understood that in order to commit people to make change, they had to have a good time and that, I believe, was his secret weapon.”
As evidence of Crowe’s jovial personality, Simpson noted that Crowe would only refer to him as “Girl!” during the course of their work together. Simpson joked that he didn’t know if Crowe actually knew his name.
In his days as a Victory Fund intern, Mida said Crowe was dedicated and passionate about LGBT advocacy. He took a personal interest in working to elect Vivian Paige, a lesbian who ran in 2005 for city treasurer in Norfolk, Va.
“I remember how visibly upset he was when Vivian lost that night,” Mida said. “We’d only been there a few days, but he was so invested. I think that across the board —whether it was his work and whether it was relationships with folks — he immediately became invested in folks, and as a result, people were invested in him.”
Among the activities that friends cited as Crowe’s favorite was travel. In his work on foreign affairs issues for Johnson, Crowe would often take opportunities to go abroad as part of his work as a congressional staffer.
Murphy recalled that Crowe traveled to Dubai and Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates as part of his work for Johnson, which Murphy said gave Crowe “a travel bug.”
Among the trips that Murphy took with Crowe was an expedition with him and his mother on a Key West cruise in 2009.
“We were both redheads and so we just kind of looked like brothers, so we just starting telling everybody that we were brothers from that cruise ship on — and I referred to his mom as ‘Mama,'” Murphy said.
Murphy recalled that he and Crowe went to Peru in 2008 and Crowe traveled with other friends to Bangkok and Hong Kong. Before Crowe’s death, Murphy said his friend had asked him to put together another trip together.
But dreams for travel and ambitions for further work on LGBT issues and politics were cut short. Murphy, who was present at the hospital where Crowe died, was the first of his friends to know.
“His mom had called me and was kind of frantic telling me the doctors had come out of the operating room saying they didn’t know if he was going to make it, so I rushed to the hospital,” Murphy said. “By the time I got there, he had passed.”
Murphy said in the operating waiting room he encountered Crowe’s mother, who was crying and at first unable to speak, but then said, “We lost him.” Murphy said the news was devastating, but he took on the responsibility of sending e-mails to Crowe’s friends and fellow Hill staffers to inform them.
Paulsen was one of the recipients of the e-mails and, in a state of shock, said he immediately left work upon hearing the news.
“I walked all the way over to Chris’ apartment to be with his roommate and family,” Paulsen said. “At first I couldn’t process it, but it was just very sad.”
Another e-mail recipient, Simpson said Crowe’s death came as a surprise because those who knew him thought he could just “smile through” his disease to become healthy.
“It didn’t seem real,” Simpson said. “I knew that Chris was sick, but it was never always clear that it would be this bad.”
Simpson observed that deaths at a young age are relatively uncommon in the younger generation of gay men — unlike what older gay men faced during the AIDS crisis of the 1980s and early ’90s.
“We’re not used to death,” Simpson said. “He was the first of my peers to pass on. If you talk to gay men who are in their 40s and 50s, they had peers pass away all the time. That was one of those moments that I started to understand that this was just a hint of what gay men who were around in the ’80s were going through.”
Still, the memory of Crowe and his sparkling personality remain an inspiration for those who knew him.
Paulsen said he would always remember Crowe’s ability to find greater potential in others.
“He found some talents in me when we worked together and he made sure to always bring those up to the congresswoman or the chief of staff,” Paulsen said. “I think that’s what I’ll take from him — to try to make sure I see these things that might not be visible to everybody else and make sure that they’re aware of some of their talents.”
Murphy, who said he’s often a wallflower in social situations or nervous around guys he likes, expressed admiration for what he said was Crowe’s ability to embrace every situation head on and would try to emulate that approach to life.
“I think that’s something we and all of his friends really appreciated and his family, too,” Murphy said. “It’s something we’ll all probably try to live up to.”
For Simpson, Crowe’s memory inspires him to be proud of who he is and helps him stay grounded.
“Chris was aware of who he was and he fucking loved it, and played it up,” Simpson said. “Chris just knew that you have to be OK with who you are, but you have to be not just OK with it, but you have to own it and love it.”
A memorial service for Crowe is set to take place on Thursday at 12 pm in Room LJ-119 in the Jefferson Building at the Library of Congress. The Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus and the LGBT Congressional Staff Association are hosting the event. House chaplain Rev. Daniel Coughlin is set to officiate over the service.
Real Estate
In real estate, trust the process
With rates coming down, we could see spring surge in buyers
The average 30-year mortgage rate is falling, little by slowly. With predictions that the rate will continue to adjust downward in the next year or two, there may be a busier spring market than we have seen in the last few year, especially for the DMV market, which has been reeling from thousands of layoffs this past year. The frenzied activity resulting from interest rates close to 3% for some borrowers will probably not occur; however, this spring could add up to be a few notches busier than the last.
What does this mean for buyers and sellers? Lender Tina Del Casale with Waterstone Mortgage says she has seen “low to mid 6’s as the average for conventional loans.” If rates continue downward into the 5% range, there may be more activity than we saw in the last year or two. This could release a little bit of pent up demand.
Many buyers will have found that for whatever reason, their current home is not meeting their needs. Sellers may want to finally take the plunge and put a for sale sign in the yard and online, now that they might find a more reasonable rate on their next home. This winter can be an opportunity to assess financial situations, home conditions, and optimize one’s chances to have a sale with more agreeable terms, or put one’s best foot forward in an offer. In addition to checking with a lender or favorite handy person, let’s review what sellers and buyers typically spend their energy negotiating while enjoying the lovely process called “going under contract”:
- Timelines – Sellers might want to have their house solidly under contract (papers signed, thumbs up from the lenders, all inspection items decided upon and settled) so that they can put an offer down on a new home, and then negotiate that timeline with the other sellers. Remember, making a move is not only about the buyer taking possession of a new home, but also about the sellers figuring out their situation as well.
- Sale Price – unfortunately for buyers, in the eyes of most sellers, “money talks.” So, in a non-competitive situation, a seller might be happy to just get one offer at a price that was within the desired range. As soon as another interested buyer enters the equation, it can become a little bit like RuPaul’s Drag Race, and one will have to lip sync for one’s life, honey! And only one buyer will get to hear the words, “condragulations!”
- Tone/Vibes/Energy in the Room – Remember: Human beings are emotional creatures. All of us have feelings. And all of us want to put energy into situations where we feel appreciated, where a level of self-awareness exists, and a sense that each side is trying one’s hardest to act in good faith. The best transactions I saw were where a little grace was the “grease on the wheels” of the transaction. Occasionally, a buyer had cold feet and wanted to see the unit a few more times before the settlement date, or a seller forgot to scrub the bathroom with a little extra elbow grease before the settlement date. Life happens; misunderstandings can occur. A wise therapist once said: “You don’t have to like it, but can you allow it?” The tone of one or both parties in the transaction can be what seals the deal, or results in one party exiting the contract. (In the case of the dirty bathroom, the seller left a check with the title company for the buyer to pay a housekeeper to come clean what they couldn’t.)
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
Signs you’ve outgrown self-management of your D.C. rental
Keeping up with local regulations is a struggle
According to rental market statistics from RentCafe, Washington, D.C., remains at the top of the most popular cities for rental properties. With a strong rental market and a growing population, success should be second nature to real estate investors and rental property owners in this area.
As a self-manager of your own rental, if you’re not enjoying the profitability and the earnings that this market can provide, it might be time to look for professional management.
There are certain signs that show property owners have outgrown self-management. We’re exploring those today, and inviting DIY landlords to consider the benefits that come with a partnership with a professional property management company in Washington, D.C.
Washington, D.C., is known for having a complex and ever-changing regulatory environment. There are strict tenant rights, rent control laws, and specific rules related to property maintenance such as mold, lead based paint hazards, among others. The Rental Housing Act of 1985 is strictly enforced, and under this program, there are specific rules regarding rent adjustments, dispute resolution, and eviction protections.
Fair housing laws need complete compliance, security deposits have strict timelines, and habitability standards are in place to ensure tenants are living in a home that’s safe and well-maintained.
Staying on top of these rules can be time-consuming and difficult. Violating even a small regulation unintentionally can result in fines or legal action. It’s critical to stay compliant, and if you find yourself struggling to keep up with the evolving laws and regulations, it’s a clear sign that you may need professional help. Property managers can reduce the risk and liability of making a legal mistake.
Financial Returns are Underwhelming
A lot of self-managing landlords choose to lease, manage, and maintain their own properties because they don’t want to pay a management fee. We get it. Keeping more of your money seems like the best way to increase profitability.
But, here’s the reality of it: property managers can help you earn more and spend less on your investment, increasing your earnings and your ROI. In fact, a good property manager can often earn enough additional net revenue for the owner to pay for that fee over a year.
Property managers are experienced at maximizing the financial performance of rental properties. We can help:
- Optimize rental income
- Reduce vacancy rates
- Lower maintenance costs through established vendor relationships
- Recommend improvements for higher values
Ultimately, a good property manager will ensure that your property is being run efficiently. We will use our expertise to ensure your property is earning what it should.
Maintenance and Repairs Are Taking Up Too Much Time
Maintenance challenges are not unique to self-managing rental property owners. We deal with them, too, as professional property managers. We respond to plumbing issues and appliance malfunctions, we take calls in the middle of the night when a sewer is backing up, and we work hard to protect properties against deterioration and general wear and tear.
This can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to finding vendors and service professionals that are both affordable and provide quality service. Plumbers, electricians, HVAC technicians, and even landscapers and cleaners are in high demand in Washington, D.C. But maintenance at your rental property cannot wait. It’s essential to the value and condition of your investment as well as to the product you are selling.
It’s time to work with a professional property manager if you’re having trouble finding vendors or if you’re struggling to keep up with maintenance requests. We have systems for emergency responses, routine repairs, and preventative services.
Tenant Screening Is Becoming More Difficult and Time-Consuming
Finding good tenants is one of the most critical aspects of rental property management. But in our home of Washington, D.C. we have one of the most regulated rental markets in the country. The tenant screening process has become increasingly complex, highly restricted, and time-intensive.
Many property owners are surprised to learn that there are more limitations than ever on what can be screened, what information can be used in making a decision whom to rent to, and how screening decisions must be documented. Federal and local laws tightly regulate the use of credit histories, criminal background records, income verification, and even eviction records. Staying compliant is not optional. Failure to follow these rules can open the door to discrimination claims, administrative complaints, substantial fines, or even lawsuits.
That’s why rushing or relying on outdated methods can easily result in selecting the wrong resident or worse, unintentionally violating DC’s Human Rights Act or federal Fair Housing laws.
Problematic tenants often become evident only after move-in: lease breaks, chronic late payments, noise complaints, and property damage. When these patterns appear repeatedly, it is often a sign that the screening process is not sufficiently structured.
Why Professional Screening Matters
Professional property managers have systems in place to perform thorough, legally compliant screening while avoiding oversteps that could violate the regulations. Professional property managers use trusted screening platforms and follow written processes that keep owners protected and ensure fairness for applicants.
Columbia Property Management’s screening process includes:
- Credit Report Review
Evaluating credit patterns, payment reliability, and debt load while complying with restrictions on how data can be used. - Rental History Verification
Contacting prior landlords and reviewing national eviction databases—keeping in mind that some jurisdictions like the District of Columbia limit how far back eviction data can be seen, must less considered. - Background ChecksReviewing public records in a manner consistent with DC’s Human Rights Act and federal guidance on criminal history usage. Not all criminal records can be considered in rental decisions, and timing rules often apply.
- Income & Employment Verification
Confirming applicants can afford the rent and other monthly expenses based on their income, without ruling out certain income in a discriminatory way (e.g., vouchers, subsidies, or lawful alternative forms of income). There are many intentional steps conducted by professional property managers under a framework that ensures decisions are based on objective criteria, applied consistently, and fully aligned with the latest federal and DC regulations.
Your Property Is Sitting Vacant for Longer Periods
While current rental market dynamics are starting to show the effects of federal workforce layoffs and the worsening local economy, the vacancy rate in Washington, D.C., is relatively low, compared to the national average. According to a news report from WTOP, the local vacancy rate is just 6%, and there are an average of seven applications for every available rental unit.
A vacant rental property can quickly become a financial drain. Whether you own a condo near Dupont Circle or a single-family home in one of Capitol Hill’s neighborhoods, every day your property sits empty means lost income. While the D.C. market is generally competitive, the reality is that there are always fluctuations in demand based on seasons, neighborhood desirability, and even economic trends.
If you’re struggling to fill your rental quickly, it might be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your approach. An experienced property management company has a marketing strategy in place to keep vacancy periods as short as possible. From professional photos and listings to leveraging established networks, they can help ensure that your property is rented quickly, reducing the amount of time it sits vacant.
While managing a rental property in Washington, D.C., can be rewarding, it’s also challenging. As your property portfolio grows or the demands of your life or the demands of being a landlord increase, it’s helpful to recognize when it’s time to step back and let a professional handle the day-to-day tasks.
From navigating complex local regulations to ensuring your property remains occupied and well-maintained, there are many reasons why rental property owners in Washington, D.C., outgrow self-management. If any of these signs resonate with you, consider partnering with a property management company like ours to ensure that your rental investment continues to thrive without the stress and burnout of self-management.
We’d love to be your Washington, D.C., property management partner and resource. Please contact us at 888-857-6594 or ColumbiaPM.com
Scott Bloom is owner and Senior Property Manager, Columbia Property Management.
Advice
My federal worker husband is depressed and I don’t know how to help
I feel like he’s dragging me into his hopelessness
Dear Michael,
My husband is a federal worker. Many of his colleagues took “the fork” or have been fired. So work has been overwhelming. He usually works late. The morale in his office is terrible. His paycheck disappeared with the shutdown although due to the specifics of his job, he still had to go in. He’s gotten increasingly depressed, irritable, and short-tempered.
I met Jason 20 years ago when we were young, and one of the things that made me fall in love with him was his idealism. He came to Washington because he wanted to contribute to the well-being of our country.
When I look at him now, it’s like he’s been through the wringer. He’s lost his idealism, feels unappreciated by our country, and is becoming bitter.
He never wants to go out with friends. Either he doesn’t want to hear them complain about the same sorts of things he’s experiencing, or he doesn’t want to have to interact with people who are doing just fine, job-wise.
He also doesn’t feel like going out, just the two of us. So we’re home a lot. But we’re not spending time together when we’re at home. He’s surfing the internet, doom-scrolling, or playing video games.
I can’t get him to talk to me; he says, “I don’t want to talk about anything, it just makes me feel worse.” I can’t get him to do anything that might help him feel better. He doesn’t want to cook dinner with me, he doesn’t want to eat any of his favorite foods that I make for him, he won’t go for a walk with our dog (exercise is supposed to help mood, right?).
I’m really worried about him. Clearly, he’s depressed, and nothing I am trying is helping him to feel better.
But in addition, I am starting to get annoyed. How much more can I try to do things for him that he doesn’t respond to and doesn’t appreciate?
I’ve been OK through this long slog, so far, but now I feel like I am being sucked into his depression and hopelessness. I’m starting to feel like giving up. I’m lonely and I miss my husband and I am despairing that he’s ever really going to come back.
In short, now I hate my life, too.
I’m not going anywhere but I am worried that my main feeling toward him is starting to be apathy. Is there something I can do to help him that I haven’t thought of?
Michael replies:
I’m sorry, this is such a rough time.
It’s understandable that when someone you love is suffering and feeling miserable, you might at times get fed up and feel like pulling away.
There’s a great saying by an ancient Jewish sage, Rabbi Tarfon: While you can’t fix the whole world, that doesn’t mean you should give up and do nothing to help.
I thought of that saying as I read your letter, because while you can’t get Jason to change his mood or take action on his own behalf, you may have some ability to help him.
Similarly, while you can’t have a fantastic time in life when your husband is in a miserable place, you can take care of yourself and likely have a better life than you are having at present.
For starters, I encourage you to keep reminding yourself that this is without doubt one of the hardest periods of your husband’s life. So it’s a very good idea to have an open heart and a lot of compassion for Jason, as much of the time as you can. This won’t be easy. Strive to keep in mind that getting angry at Jason or frustrated with him won’t help.
Don’t try to insist that Jason do anything. Often, when we push someone to do something that they don’t want to do, this just results in their digging in more. People generally don’t like to be nagged.
Of course you can ask Jason if he’d like to join you for a walk, or an outing, but tread carefully. You can advocate for what you’d like, but Jason gets to decide what he wants to do.
You can certainly ask Jason what he would like from you, especially when he’s complaining. I love the “3 H’s” concept: Would he like you to hear (simply listen)? Would he like help (advice on what to do)? Or would he just like a hug?
The best message you can send to Jason, by your presence and by an ongoing loving stance, is “I am here. You’re not alone.” Even when he wants to stay in the basement playing video games. You’re not criticizing him and you’re not judging him. Maybe you’re baking some cookies you both like and leaving him a plateful to eat if and when he wants to. (Be sure to treat yourself to some, as well.)
In terms of bigger interventions, you can suggest that Jason meet with a therapist, or meet with his physician to discuss the possibility of an antidepressant to help him through this awful period. For example, you might have a sincere conversation where you say something like this:
“I’m worried about you. I really want to encourage you to get some help. My love for you can only go so far, and while I’m not going anywhere, I’d like you to take seriously how miserable you are. I’m here to encourage you that maybe you could feel better, even though your circumstances are terrible and you feel disillusioned.”
Again, trying to convince or force Jason to take action will likely go nowhere useful.
Now let’s focus on you. Living with a depressed spouse can be a miserable, soul-crushing experience. As you described, you’re watching the person you love suffer, and you’re pretty much losing your partner in so many of the things that make life enjoyable.
Part of getting through this is to acknowledge that there is a limit to what you can do for Jason. And part of it is to strengthen your commitment to self-care. Taking care of yourself may keep you from going too far into misery or resentment. He doesn’t want to get together with a friend? Consider going anyway, and do your best to have at least a good time. Same thing with a dog walk, a good meal, or sitting down to watch a movie you’d like to see. You might also consider meeting with a therapist for ongoing support and strategizing.
While this period of your life is gruelingly difficult, try to remember that it likely will come to an end, that there will likely be good times ahead for you and for Jason, and that in the meantime, doing your best to find ways to take care of yourself while also being a supportive and loving spouse will help you to survive.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
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