Arts & Entertainment
‘In the Life’ celebrates 20 years
Groundbreaking TV series receives $1 million gift to mark anniversary
Maria and Brian Singer of Laurel, Md., and their children Lucas and Jackie, one of the families featured in ‘Becoming Me.’ (Photo courtesy of Brian and Maria Singer.)
The groundbreaking television series “In the Life” received an impressive gift for its 20th anniversary celebration — a $1 million donation from board co-chair and New York philanthropist Henry van Ameringen. This timely award gives the organization a chance to celebrate its milestone while planning for the next 20 years.
The media-shy Ameringen writes movingly about the importance of “In the Life” in a blog entry for the Huffington Post. The 82-year-old activist remembers growing up in a time when “the absence of images reflecting real gay life made it easy for people to assume we were everything bad that was said about us.” This was exacerbated when the AIDS epidemic struck the gay community in the 1980s and Ameringen, like many other LGBT activists, became politicized.
“Staying on the sidelines was impossible,” he writes. “The government was doing absolutely nothing to halt the spread of this disease nor help those who were suffering. AIDS was seen as a ‘gay disease,’ and with so few positive portrayals of gays in the media, and far fewer gay people being out at the time, most Americans believed all the stereotypes they had heard about us.”
However, the premiere of “In the Life” in 1992 contributed to the change in the media and political landscape. Ameringen notes, “The simple fact that there was a television program, airing on public television stations around the country, that represented LGBT people in such a genuine and accurate manner was stunning.” Veteran media expert and activist Cathy Renna says, “‘In the Life’ has become the ‘60 Minutes’ of LGBT journalism” and credits the show for creating a large and diverse audience for LGBT stories.
Michelle Kristel, executive director of In the Life Media, says that quality and content have been the key to the program’s longevity.
“In the early days,” she says, “we led from a place of novelty and uniqueness. When we were first broadcast in 1992, you just didn’t have out, proud gay and lesbian people on television. We were pioneers. But what has sustained us is the quality of our content and the fact that we are telling stories about real people and the critical issues facing our community.”
Philanthropist Henry van Ameringen gave $1 million to ‘In the Life,’ which has been described as the ’60 Minutes’ of LGBT news. (Photo courtesy Renna Communications)
The celebration of the show’s anniversary is already underway. The 20th season kicked off with a red carpet gala and an October 2011 episode that looked back at the history of the show. Kristel explains that “In the Life” began as a variety show hosted by lesbian comedian Kate Clinton, but that over time it evolved into a behind-the-desk news show with in-the-field reporting before assuming the short-form documentary format it has today. Over time, the award-winning show has also developed a robust online presence with web exclusives that supplement its television programming.
Kristel says the staff had a blast putting together the retrospective show. “It’s always fun for us to look at the old tapes. We had a lot of fun putting it together and taking in the depth and breadth of all that we’ve done over the years.” The anniversary celebration will culminate in the annual June Pride Brunch where supporters can “eat, drink and be merry” while watching New York’s Pride Parade from the windows of “In the Life’s” studios on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.
When asked about the importance of the show, Kristel points out that the impact of the series goes beyond its television and online audiences. For example, this month’s episode, “Becoming Me,” which chronicles the lives of families dealing with transgender and non-gender-conforming children, is already becoming a resource for educators, parenting groups like PFLAG and social service agencies. Kristel says, “The show is a beautiful articulation of what we do really well, which is to take an issue and tell personal stories that relate to the issue and that make it tangible for our audiences. We worked on this piece for nine months and we were able to go in-depth with the eight families we interviewed and really understand their journeys.”
Kristel also cites the impact of the show on legislators and policy-makers. The two-part episode on HIV criminalization educated viewers about a little-known fact. “Very few people,” Kristel points out, “realize that in many places you can go to prison for attempted murder for having consensual sex if you are HIV-positive.” The first part of the episode, “Legalizing Stigma,” which aired in December 2010, was shown at the first-ever congressional hearing on HIV stigmatization and led to the introduction of legislation to rescind those laws. The second part, “Perpetuating Stigma,” which aired in February 2011, was shown at this year’s United Nations AIDS conference in Oslo and was referenced as a resource in the Oslo Declaration.
In addition, the celebrated web exclusive “Injustice at Every Turn” brought to life a report on transgender discrimination that was produced by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. “The report was devastating,” Kristel said. “I read the report and I thought ‘people need to know about the profound levels of discrimination that transgender people are facing.’ But the fact of the matter is that very few people are going to read a report like that, so we produced a video that put a human face on these issues. That video was presented at the U.S. Department of Labor as a way of informing the department about discrimination in the workplace. This is one of the things we do well, to take an issue and put a human face on it and use it to move people to have a better understanding of the lives that people are living and the ways that people are impacted by social injustice and discrimination.”
Kristel is quick to point out that “In the Life” also produces some fun stories as well. A recent episode profiled the late Sam Steward, a sexual renegade, writer and pornographer. With a hearty chuckle, Kristel relates that “he started life as an English professor, but found that the life of an academic didn’t suit him particularly well. He left that to become a writer of erotica and a tattoo artist. Along the way, he documented, in some detail, his sexual escapades. He had a wooden card catalog that he called “The Stud File” with little cards and descriptions of everybody that he ever had sex with and with pertinent details about their physiques and their skills.”
Ameringen’s gift comes at a critical time for In the Life Media, allowing the organization to continue to deliver stories that document the lives of LGBT people and to explore the issues that affect them. About $100,000 of the donation will be used to match new and increased contributions. The balance will offer the organization a valuable opportunity to invest in its future.
Kristel says, “The media landscape has changed radically since we were first broadcast, not only in the way media is produced, but also the way that people consume media. What has remained constant is the power of media to shape the national dialogue. So we will be using this gift to make an assessment of the organization. We will be investing in digital initiatives that will allow us to not only improve our tools for engagement with our viewers but to give our viewers the tools to help us advance equality for LGBT people.”
“In the Life” airs locally on WETA and WMPB and programs can be seen at itlmedia.org/.
Out & About
Learn more about queer love
Friends of Dorothy Cafe hosts event at City-State Public House
Friends of Dorothy Cafe will host “Living History: How We Loved” on Thursday, May 14 at 7:30 p.m. at City-State Public House.
Guests will hear how queer and trans people have loved and cared for one another, especially when legal, medical, and social systems did not recognize those relationships. We’ll reflect on chosen family, long-term partnerships before marriage equality, caregiving during the AIDS crisis, hidden romances, friendship as survival, chosen family, and the loves that changed the course of our lives. This evening is about honoring lived experience, preserving community memory, and strengthening the bridge between generations.
Tickets are $24.57 and are available on Eventbrite.
Friday, May 8
Center Aging Monthly Luncheon With Yoga will be at noon at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.
Women in their Twenties and Thirties will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “We Are Pat” at 12:30 p.m. This event takes a fresh look at the iconic Saturday Night Live sketch “It’s Pat” and traces how ideas about gender and what we laugh at have shifted from the ’90s to today. What began as a character born out of cultural anxiety around gender now lands in a world shaped by ongoing debates about transness and queerness. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Saturday, May 9
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Sunday, May 10
Drag Queen Sip and Paint Experience Washington DC will be at 4 p.m. at Town Tavern. This is a fabulous experience brought to you by Sip and Paint USA and combines the joy of painting with the lively energy of a drag queen, offering an hour and a half of fun, creativity, and entertainment. Participants paint a canvas while enjoying cocktails, all under the guidance of a glamorous drag queen host. Tickets are $47.19 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
Monday, May 11
Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
Tuesday, May 12
Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected].
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
Wednesday, May 13
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Movement for Healing” at 3 p.m. This trauma- and yoga therapy–informed class is designed to help guests gently reconnect with their body and their breath. Through mindful movement, somatic awareness, and grounding practices, guests will explore how to release tension, increase mobility, and cultivate a deeper sense of safety and ease within. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Thursday, May 14
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Television
Repression, toxic masculinity fuel intense queer drama ‘Half Man’
A solidly crafted, well-acted, fascinating binge watch
In 2024, when Richard Gadd’s “Baby Reindeer” became a stock-boosting hit for Netflix, there were few Americans who knew his name.
In the UK, however, the Scottish writer/comedian/actor had already emerged as a talent to be reckoned with, blending autobiographical stand-up comedy with theater to create a reputation as an edgy and provocative creator whose shows tended to be equal parts divisive and successful. One of these, his fictionalized true-life story of being stalked and sexually harassed by a female fan, became an Olivier Award-winning hit in the London theater; that was “Baby Reindeer,” and – in the form of a seven-episode miniseries adaptation – it became the vehicle that carried him to wider fame.
Two years later, Gadd has returned with another high-profile miniseries, this time for HBO Max, and like its predecessor, it’s a story that deals with queer sexual repression, unhealthy attachments, and a central relationship that can safely be described without exaggeration as “toxic” – and it’s an even darker (and more twisted) ride that stretches across decades.
“Half Man,” which debuted on April 23 and continues with one episode per week through May 14, is the story of two “brothers” – Niall (Jamie Bell) and Ruben (Gadd) – whose mothers (Neve McIntosh and Marianne McIvor) have become a lesbian couple after leaving their relationships with the boys’ respective fathers. They are seeming opposites in personality; Niall is quiet, sensitive, and secretly unsure about his sexuality, while Ruben is tough, rebellious, and prone to violence – and unsurprisingly, it’s a match made in hell.
We meet them at the top of the first episode as adults, on the day of Niall’s wedding, when Ruben shows up without warning; his appearance triggers what looks like fear in his “brother from another lover,” and a private meeting between them in a barn at the wedding site turns ugly, launching a flashback format that takes us back to their schooldays, when young Ruben (Stuart Campbell) – already in trouble with the law and trying for a new start – comes home from juvenile detention to become roommate, protector, and bully to young Niall (Mitchell Robertson), all in one.
It’s the dawn of a new and epic relationship, despite a history that has made Niall terrified of the older boy; their seemingly opposite qualities somehow mesh into a kind of symbiotic bubble, in which a tense equilibrium turns them into unlikely allies. Ruben makes sure Niall has nothing to fear from the sniggering schoolyard homophobes who target him, and Niall helps Ruben pass the tests he needs to pass in order to stay in school, Nevertheless, their dynamic is equal parts surprisingly tender and alarmingly lopsided. Though they form a bond, it’s a volatile one, and by the end of episode one – after an uncomfortable-to-watch late night incident that amounts to a sexual assault – there is little doubt that Ruben is a psychopath. By then, however, it’s too late; Niall has become hopelessly ensnared by his manipulations, and their dangerous attachment has taken permanent root.
In episode two, the timeline moves the past forward several years (while rolling the wedding-day story back a few hours as well), bringing Niall forward to his college years. Ruben is once again absent from his life, but the bond is still deep. He struggles to make connections in his new setting – including with another student, the openly gay Alby (Bilal Hasna), who recognizes a side of him that he has still yet to accept for himself. Though he gradually begins to adapt to his new social circle, his insecurities get the better of him – and despite warnings from his mother not to do so, he calls Ruben to come and visit. His arrival triggers another escalating series of incidents, this time entangling Niall’s new friends and culminating in a shocking, jealous-fueled explosion of violence.
Without going on with the story – after all, the two remaining episodes have yet to be released, so we wouldn’t want to spoil anything – it’s safe to say there’s a pattern here, and it’s intentional.
Gadd has already been public about his own struggles with repression, which were directly explored (albeit fictionally) in “Baby Reindeer,” and it’s clear that he had more to say about the effects they had on his life and identity.
As he put it himself, in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, “Themes of, I guess, masculinity, or what it means to be a man, or ‘I’ve gone through a masculinity crisis’ come into [the show] probably because I’ve been through that in my life, and I feel I can write to it and speak to it.
“I always think that the best kind of art is kept close to your chest, kept close to your heart, kept close to your experiences, and I guess with ‘Half Man,’ there’s a lot in it that I relate to. It’s not an autobiographical piece by any stretch, it’s purely fiction, but it certainly borrows from themes and struggles and issues that I understand.”
That understanding translates to the series through its focus on tracing the roots of Niall and Ruben’s relationship by methodically tracking the cause-and-effect chain that links the major events of their lives together. It explores the contradictory combination of worship and terror, the transgressive eroticism that intertwines danger and desire, the power of the forbidden to make us want it more, and the self-loathing that punishes itself through violence toward others. The inverted framework of the storytelling, which works both forward and back to meet at (we assume) some definitive point, makes following it a bit like putting together a puzzle, which also has the effect of building suspense as we wait to see the “moment of truth.”
Of course, those who prefer a more straightforward narrative might not appreciate the additional challenge, especially when the subject matter – which revolves around experiences, feelings, and behavior that might be entirely unfamiliar to many audiences – is challenging enough by itself, in its own way. Likewise, and for much the same reason, there will be viewers who are unable to relate to its characters, as some of the show’s less-favorable reviews have pointed out.
But it would be naive to assume that the themes in “Half Man” – of fragile masculinity, internalized homophobia, misdirected rage, nihilistic rebellion, conflicted desires, projected shame, and the other ingredients that infuse this shadow-boxing psychodrama with such a distinctive musky odor – do not apply to more men in today’s culture of incels, “looksmaxxers,” and “the Man-o-sphere” than any of them would like to admit. We’d wager that its portrait of a same-sex, sub/Dom, borderline incestuous relationship might resonate more urgently there than within a queer community that has been grappling with those issues for generations already and are just waiting for everybody else to catch up.
In any case, Gadd’s newest variation on a theme is a solidly crafted, well-acted, and hypnotically fascinating (if sometimes uncomfortable) exercise in the kind of “can’t look away” drama that makes for a perfect binge watch. Or, at least, it will once all the episodes drop.
Comings & Goings
Learn more about queer love
Calendar: May 8-14
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A reign defined by commitment and human impact
