Living
What is marriage, anyway?
It’s a business and contractual relationship
(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)
By MICHELE ZAVOS & CODY PERKINS
Marriage is generally understood in our society as an emotional and social institution, signifying and celebrating the love and devotion between two people and demonstrating a commitment to that relationship above all others. But marriage is also a business and contractual relationship that is given great deference by the laws of our country, on both the federal, state, and local levels. Once a couple is married, spouses are no longer individuals, but part of a marital unit. On the federal level, there are more than 1,000 rights and responsibilities associated with marriage. On the state and local level, there are usually more than 400 such rights and responsibilities.
The “marital unit” is treated differently in the law than the two spouses were as individuals. For example, any income coming into the “marital unit” post-marriage, belongs presumptively equally to both spouses, no matter who earned the income. So, if one spouse saves money in retirement, the other spouse is entitled to one-half of that amount if the couple divorces. States and the District of Columbia may treat marriage somewhat differently if the couple divorces. Accordingly, spouses would be wise to execute a pre-nuptial agreement prior to their marriage, in order to define the couple’s agreements as to how their property would be divided in the event of divorce.
Other impacts of the marriage contract range from taxes to immigration to estate planning to children, and more. As same-sex couples take advantage of new opportunities to marry in the United States, these consequences can be welcome but confusing reminders of just how much marriage matters in American society.
Most of the federal government now recognizes marriages between same-sex couples as long as the marriage was valid where it occurred, known as the “place of celebration” rule. Locally, Maryland, the District of Columbia and Delaware have marriage equality, while Virginia and West Virginia do not. The federal government applies the “place of residence” rule in some instances, so couples living in non- marriage equality states (non-recognition states) do not have valid marriages under that rule. However, Attorney General Eric Holder has said that the federal government will make every effort to treat all validly married same-sex couples as married for federal government purposes.
Application of tax rates are one of the biggest impacts of marriage. Married couples must file either as married filing jointly, or married filing individually. As a general rule, if couples have a significant income disparity, marriage will reduce their taxes, but if the couple is relatively equal in income, marriage will increase those taxes. Married couples have no choice – they MUST file their taxes as married. Couples that are registered as Domestic Partners in the District of Columbia must also file their D.C. taxes as “married.” Married couples are also eligible for estate tax exemptions, now both on the federal level and in their state of residence if the state has marriage equality, like Edie Windsor. Married couples in Maryland are also exempt from Maryland’s inheritance tax. Also, after Windsor, a couple may be able to amend its federal tax returns to claim certain exemptions and to reduce income that had previously been taxed when the federal government did not recognize their marriage.
For same-sex couples wishing to have children, marriage creates a legal presumption of parentage, meaning that any child born or conceived to one spouse during the marriage is presumed to be the legal child of the other spouse. This can be extremely important to ensure that a non-birth parent continues to have a legal right to custody and decision-making power over the child, even in the event of divorce, or the birth parent’s death or incapacity. However, since not all states have marriage equality, we recommend that even married couples obtain a second-parent adoption or pre- or post-birth order so that their parental rights are recognized in all states.
Employee benefits, immigration, Social Security, the military, taxes, retirement rollovers, criminal matters, and of course, even more areas are impacted by marriage. The law continues to evolve, and there are about 45 lawsuits throughout the country, including two in Virginia, attempting to establish marriage equality in those states that still do not recognize our marriages. So, even if couples are married in one state, if they move to a non-recognition state, or perhaps are even traveling through such a state, their marriages will not be considered valid if a marriage issue arises in that state.
Marriage does not hold all the answers. As with everything, there may be downsides to getting married, and individual couples must decide for themselves whether the rewards outweigh the risks. For example, if one member of a couple is receiving alimony, that alimony generally will end at remarriage. Or if one member of the couple receives income-based government benefits, marriage may then disqualify that spouse from receiving those benefits. Couples should consult with an attorney before they marry to discuss the legal risks and rewards of marriage. But, of course, there is more to marriage than all of these rights and responsibilities. And sometimes, for some couples, marriage does come down to love and commitment, and the legal aspects are just secondary.
Michele Zavos is partner, Zavos Juncker Law Group, PLLC. Cody Perkins is a law clerk at the firm. The Zavos Juncker Law Group practices in all three local jurisdictions.
Real Estate
Tips for LGBTQ buyers, sellers during holidays
A powerful and overlooked window for real estate transactions
The holiday season is a magical time, filled with celebration, travel, connection, and reflection. It also happens to be a powerful — and often overlooked — window for both buying and selling real estate. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, shopping for a new home or preparing to list a property during the holidays comes with opportunities, challenges, and important considerations that deserve thoughtful attention.
Whether you’re preparing to make a move as a same-sex couple, searching for safe and affirming neighborhoods, or hoping to secure the best possible price for your home sale before the new year, the holidays can offer unique advantages. With an inclusive approach, LGBTQ+ friendly resources, and the right professional guidance, this season can be a strategic and rewarding time to take your next real estate step.
Below are actionable tips, insights, and resources specifically tailored to LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers navigating the holiday season.
Why the Holidays Can Be the Right Time
Lower Competition & Motivated Sellers
Because so many people put their real estate plans on pause during November and December, LGBTQ+ home buyers may see lower competition, fewer bidding wars, and sellers who are eager to close before January. This can bring real advantages for first-time gay home buyers or same-sex couples seeking more favorable negotiating terms.
Buyers Are More Serious
If you’re selling your home as an LGBTQ+ individual, remember: holiday buyers tend to be more intentional, financially prepared, and timeline-driven. This can make the sale process smoother.
Holiday Appeal Helps Homes Show Better
Warm lighting, seasonal décor, and neighborhood festivities can enhance curb appeal and emotional impact — which can be especially valuable when selling your home.
Tip #1: Choose LGBTQ-Friendly Representation
Above all else: work with a professional who understands the LGBTQ+ community and the unique concerns LGBTQ+ clients have.
This means choosing:
- a gay realtor
- a lesbian realtor
- an LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agent
Agents who are part of, or deeply familiar with, the LGBTQ+ community can make a tremendous difference in safety, comfort, and confidence throughout the transaction.
For more than 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the trusted leader in LGBTQ+ real estate, providing LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers access to:
- verified LGBTQ+ real estate agents
- same-sex couple home buying experts
- LGBTQ+ friendly realtors near you
- agents experienced in discrimination-related protections
- LGBTQ+ relocation specialists
Whether you’re buying or selling, this starts you on the right path.
Tip #2: Focus on LGBTQ-Friendly Neighborhoods
If you’re buying a home during the holidays, make researching neighborhoods a top priority.
Look for areas known for:
- Inclusion & diversity
- Active local LGBTQ+ groups
- Gay-friendly businesses
- Visible LGBTQ+ community presence
- Supportive schools & services
- Pride events & alliances
Searching online helps — but talking with an LGBTQ+ friendly realtor who knows these neighborhoods firsthand is invaluable.
Also search:
- LGBTQ+ crime statistics
- local anti-discrimination policies
- protections against housing discrimination
- hate crime data
- political climate
- HOA regulations
Your home should feel safe year-round, not just festive in December.
Tip #3: Know Your Legal Protections
Housing discrimination still exists — and LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers must remain vigilant.
While federal protections exist through the Fair Housing Act (as interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity), not all states provide equal protection.
Know your rights around:
- Mortgage discrimination
- Rental screening discrimination
- Sellers refusing offers from LGBTQ+ buyers
- HOA discrimination
- Harassment after move-in
Your agent should be able to assist — but GayRealEstate.com also offers educational guidance and resources for navigating LGBTQ+ legal protections in real estate
Tip #4: Navigate the Emotional Side
For LGBTQ+ buyers and sellers, the holidays can stir up complex feelings:
- family dynamics
- financial pressure
- expectations around marriage or partnership
- relocation stress
- memories tied to a home
Be patient with yourself.
Buying or selling a home is life-changing — honor the emotional journey as much as the financial one.
Tip #5: Take Advantage of Holiday Cost Savings
Buying?
- Lower interest rates may appear around December
- Contractors often discount home inspections & repairs this time of year
- Movers run holiday promotions
Selling?
- Minor seasonal upgrades help tremendously:
- warm lighting
- new evergreen planters
- festive front door accents
- Be careful not to over-decorate — buyers need to see the space clearly
And yes — holiday cookies help.
Tip #6: If You’re Relocating — Plan Ahead
Many LGBTQ+ buyers relocate during the holidays to:
- be closer to family
- move in with a partner
- begin a new job in the new year
If you’re relocating as an LGBTQ+ couple or family:
- research local LGBTQ+ resources
- connect with local LGBTQ+ organizations
- ask your gay real estate agent about local LGBTQ+ clubs, groups, and services
- evaluate long-term safety for LGBTQ+ families
Plan early — December moves get booked fast.
Tip #7: Use Trusted LGBTQ Real Estate Resources
The most important resource of all:
GayRealEstate.com — the #1 dedicated LGBTQ+ real estate resource for over 30 years.
On GayRealEstate.com, you can find:
- LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agents nationwide
- Verified gay and lesbian Realtors
- LGBTQ+ real estate market information
- Same-sex couple home buying guidance
- LGBTQ+ real estate services
- Gay and lesbian friendly neighborhoods
- Relocation tools
- LGBTQ+ home buyer & seller education
No other site offers this level of specialization, expertise, or community connection.
The holidays are more than just a season of celebration — they’re also a meaningful opportunity for LGBTQ+ home ownership, real estate transitions, and new beginnings. Whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple selling a home, or an LGBTQ+ family preparing to relocate, you deserve an experience grounded in respect, inclusion, and safety.
With the right preparation — and the right LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agent — your journey can be rewarding, affirming, and filled with new possibilities for the year ahead.
To find an LGBTQ+ real estate agent who understands your needs, visit GayRealEstate.com, the trusted leader in LGBTQ+ real estate services, resources, and representation for over three decades.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
Autos
Revving up the holidays with auto-themed gifts
Lamps, mugs, headphones, and more for everyone on your list
Here’s how to shift your holidays into high gear.
Bentley Bottle Stopper
Pop your cork—in a good way—with a Bentley bottle stopper ($106), made of zinc alloy with chrome plating and rubber rings. The classy design is inspired by the automaker’s iconic “Flying B” mascot from 1930.
Subaru Motorsports Counter Stool
Belly up to the bar with the Subaru Motorsports Counter Stool ($175). The 30-inch-tall metal chair—with padded vinyl cover and automaker logo—is lightweight and swivels 360 degrees.
BMW Luxe Luggage
You won’t have trouble spotting this chic khaki-green BMW M Boardcase ($307) at airport baggage carousels. The high-performance “M” logo is etched on the durable polycarbonate casing, as well as on the main compartment zipper and all four of the sturdy double wheels. Comes with recycled lining, along with laundry and shoe bags.
Ford Yoga Gym Bag
The Ford Yoga Gym Bag ($15) has a wide handle and button strap to securely carry a yoga mat, as well as convenient pockets to stow water bottles and shoes. Made of black polyester, with reflective silver Ford logo. (Yoga mat not included.)
Kia Mini Lamp with Speaker/Sound
It doesn’t get much more Zen than a Kia Mini Lamp with Speaker and Sound Machine ($50). Made of bamboo, sturdy plastic and a fabric grill, the tiny wireless lamp has LED lighting with three settings. Pair with your phone to choose from eight soothing sounds: brook noise, bird chirp, forest bird, white bird, ocean wave, rainy day, wind and fireside.
Lexus Green Pro Set
Practice makes perfect with the Lexus Green Pro Set ($257), a putting mat with “train-track markings” to help improve any golfer’s alignment. Lexus logo on the wood frame with automatic ball return.
Lamborghini Wireless Headphones
Turn on, tune in, drop out—well, at least at the end of a hectic day—with these Lamborghini Wireless MW75 Headphones by Master & Dynamic ($901). Batteries last up to 32 hours or up to 28 hours in active noise-canceling mode.
BMW Quatro Slim Travel Tumbler
The BMW Quatro Slim Travel Tumbler ($23) lives up to its name: sleek, smooth and scratch-resistant. Comes with leak-proof lid and non-spill design.
Ford Vintage Mustang Ceramic Mug
Giddy-up each morning with the Ford Vintage Mustang Ceramic Mug ($29). With cool blue stripes, the 14-ounce mug features a silver handle and iconic pony emblem.
My First Lamborghini by Clementoni
Proving it’s never too early to drive an exotic car, My First Lamborghini by Clementoni ($62) is for children ages two- to four-years old. Kids can activate the remote-control car by pressing the button on the roof or by using the remote. This Lambo certainly is less expensive than an entry-level Huracan, which starts at $250,000.
Rolls-Royce Cameo
For adults looking for their own pint-sized luxury ride, there’s the Rolls-Royce Cameo ($5,500). Touted as a piece of art rather than a toy, this miniature collectible is made from the same solid oak and polished aluminum used in a real Rolls. As with those cars, this one even has self-leveling wheel-center caps (which operate independently of the hubcaps so that the RR logo is always in the upright position).
Maserati Notebook
For those of us who still love the art of writing, the Maserati MC20 Sketch Note ($11) is an elegant notebook with 48 sheets of high-quality paper. The front and back covers feature stylish sketches of the interior of a Maserati MC20 supercar and the Maserati logo. Comes with saddle-stitched binding using black thread.
Dodge Demon Dog Collar
If your pooch is more Fluffy-kins and less the guard dog you sometimes need it to be, then there’s the Dodge Demon Seatbelt Buckle Dog Collar ($30). Made of steel and high-density polyester with a tiny seatbelt-buckle clasp, the collar is emblazoned with devilish Dodge Demon logos.
Real Estate
In real estate, it’s déjà vu all over again
1970s and ‘80s volatility led to creative financing options
In the 1970s and 1980s, mortgage interest rates climbed into the double digits and peaked above 18%. With rates like that, you needed more than a steady job and a down payment to buy a home — you needed creative financing ideas.
Today’s market challenges may look different, but the response has been surprisingly familiar: unusual financing methods are making a comeback, along with some new ones that didn’t exist decades ago. Here is a brief overview of the most popular tools from that era.
Assumable Mortgages were available with FHA, VA, and USDA loans and, until 1982, even Conventional mortgages. They allowed a buyer to take over the seller’s existing mortgage, including its interest rate, rather than getting a brand-new loan, while compensating the seller for the difference between the assumed loan balance and the contract price.
Often, a seller played a substantial role in a purchase. With Seller Financing (Owner Carry) the seller became the bank, letting the buyer make payments directly to them instead of to a traditional lender.
One variation on Seller Financing was the Land Contract. The seller was still the lender, but the buyer made loan payments to the seller, who then paid his own mortgage and pocketed the difference. The buyer would receive equitable title (the right to use and occupy the property), while the seller kept the title or deed until the contract was paid off or the property sold.
With Wraparound Mortgages, the seller created a new, larger loan for the buyer that “wrapped” around the existing mortgage at an agreed-upon rate. The buyer would then pay the seller, who would continue making mortgage payments on the existing balance, collecting payments and pocketing the spread. Whether title conveyed to the buyer or remained with the seller was negotiated between the parties.
Unlike an assumption, when buying a home Subject To an existing mortgage, the buyer took title to the property and agreed to pay the seller’s mortgage directly to the lender plus any equity to the seller; the mortgage stayed in the seller’s name. Now, most mortgages have a Due on Sale clause that prohibits this kind of transaction without the expressed consent of the lender.
Rent-to-Own was also a popular way to get into a home. While a potential buyer rented a property, the seller would offer an option to purchase for a set amount to be exercised at a later date (lease option) or allow a portion of the rent collected to be considered as a downpayment once accrued (lease purchase).
Graduated Payment Mortgage (GPM) loans were authorized by the banking industry in the mid-1970s and Adjustable Rate Mortgages (ARM) surfaced in the early 1980s. Both featured low initial payments that gradually increased over time.
With the GPM, although lower than market to start, the interest rate was fixed and payment increases were scheduled. A buyer could rely on the payment amount and save accordingly.
ARMs, on the other hand, had interest rates that could change based on the market index, with less predictability and a higher risk of rate shocks, as we saw during the Great Recession from 2007-2009.
While mortgage rates today aren’t anywhere near the extremes of the 1980s, buyers still face a tough environment: higher prices, limited inventory, and stricter lending standards. That combination has pushed people to explore tried and true alternatives and add new ones.
Assumable mortgages and ARMs are on the table again and seller financing is still worth exploring. Just last week, I overheard a colleague asking about a land contract.
Lenders are beginning to use Alternative Credit Evaluation indicators, like rental payment history or bank cash-flow analysis, to assess borrower strength when making mortgage loan decisions.
There are Shared Equity Programs, where companies or nonprofits contribute part of a down payment in exchange for a share of the home’s future appreciation. With Crowdfunding Platforms, investors pool money online to finance real estate purchases or developments.
Another unconventional idea being debated today is the 50-year mortgage, designed to help buyers manage high home prices. Such a mortgage would have a 50-year repayment term, rather than the standard 30 years, lowering monthly payments by stretching them over a longer period.
Supporters argue that a 50-year mortgage could make monthly payments significantly more affordable for first-time buyers who feel priced out of the market. Critics, however, warn that while the monthly payment may be lower, the lifetime interest cost would be much higher.
What ties the past and present together is necessity. As long as affordability remains strained, creative financing – old and new – will continue to shape the way real estate gets bought and sold. As with everything real estate, my question will always be, “What’s next?”
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
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