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Gay man says priest refused to give last rites

Incident at Washington Hospital Center angers LGBT Catholic group

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crucifix, Christian, gay news, Washington Blade

A Roman Catholic priest working as a chaplain at D.C.’s Washington Hospital Center refused to give last rites and communion to a heart attack patient earlier this month after the patient told him he’s gay and believes Pope Francis is sympathetic to gay people, the patient told the Blade.

D.C. resident Ronald Plishka, 63, a retired travel agent and lifelong Catholic, said he asked a nurse to arrange for a priest to see him on Feb. 7, one day after he was admitted by ambulance to the hospital emergency room for a heart attack. He said that at the time he wasn’t sure he would survive.

A short time later, Plishka said, Father Brian Coelho, a priest assigned to the hospital’s Department of Spiritual Care, arrived at his bedside. He said Coelho offered to take his confession before proceeding with communion and last rites, which the church now calls the sacrament of anointing of the sick.

“We started talking and I told him I was so happy with this new Pope because of his comments about the gays and his accepting the gays,” Plishka said. “And I mentioned that I was gay. I said it and then I asked him does that bother you? And he said, ‘Oh, no, that does not bother me,’” said Plishka.

“But then he would not proceed with administering the last rites or communion. He couldn’t do it.”

According to Plishka, Coelho, who brought a supply of holy water to his hospital room, never said in so many words that he was refusing to administer communion and last rites.

Asked what Coelho told him, Plishka said, “Well, I mean he stopped. He would not do it. By him not doing it I assumed he would not do it because why was he getting ready to do it and all of a sudden when I say I’m gay he stops?”

Plishka said Coelho gave no reason for not giving him the sacraments he requested but offered instead to pray with him.

“He said what he wanted to do,” said Plishka. “He wanted to pray. That’s what he wanted to do. He said well I could pray with you. And I just told him to get the fuck out of here — excuse me. But that’s what I told him.”

The patient with whom he shared the hospital room overheard some of what was said and asked him, “What in the name of God happened?,” Plishka said.

“And then the doctors came in and told me to calm down or I’m going to have another heart attack,” he said.

Coelho, whose photo appears in the Washington Hospital Center’s online staff directory of hospital chaplains, did not return a call from the Blade seeking comment on his interaction with Plishka.

So Young Pak, Washington Hospital Center’s director of media relations, said the Archdiocese of Washington assigned Coelho to serve as a Catholic chaplain at the hospital. She said the hospital did not hire Coelho.

Pak released a statement to the Blade saying the hospital cannot comment on the specifics of the interaction between Coelho and Plishka “because we were not a party to it.”

But her statement says the hospital is taking “our patient’s concerns very seriously.” She said the Human Rights Campaign Foundation recognized Washington Hospital Center last year as a “Leader in LGBT Healthcare Equality.”

“We want to hold true to this important commitment to the LGBT community and to all of our patients,” she said. “It is our expectation that all who offer spiritual care to patients in our hospital adhere to our values and extend excellent care, both physical and spiritual, to all patients regardless of their faith traditions,” she said.

Pak added, “Our Department of Spiritual Care will reinforce our expectations with this priest and his superiors.”

Plishka said the treatment he received from the hospital itself was “excellent” and praised the hospital and its doctors for saving his life.

Chieko Noguchi, a spokesperson for the Archdiocese of Washington, which has jurisdiction over D.C. area priests working as hospital chaplains, said her office would have no comment at this time.

A June 2010 biography of Coelho published on the Archdiocese website says Coelho was appointed at that time as parochial vicar at St. Mary Parish in Landover Hills, Md. It says he was “born in India and attended seminary there prior to entering the Archdiocese of Washington’s Redemptoris Mater Seminary.”

The biography says he was ordained on May 26, 2007 and served as a parochial victor at St. Mary of the Mills in Laurel, Md., and at St. Elizabeth Parish in Rockville, Md., in previous assignment.

Pak said Coelho began his tenure as chaplain at Washington Hospital Center in October 2013.

Officials with the LGBT Catholic organizations Dignity U.S.A. and Dignity Washington expressed disbelief that a priest would refuse to offer last rites and communion to a patient in need.

“This is just abhorrent and not Christ-like at all,” said Dignity Washington President Daniel Barutta. “I can’t imagine where that priest is coming from.”

Henry Huot, a retired Catholic priest who serves as chair of Dignity Washington’s Pastoral Ministry Committee, said longstanding Catholic practice calls for priests to provide the sacraments to people in situations similar to Plishka.

“Any baptized Christian ought not to be denied the sacraments at his or her request,” Huot said. “And that is a cardinal rule of pastoral care. So I don’t know what was going through the mind of this hospital chaplain to deny this man the sacraments,” he said. “It violates this cardinal rule.”

Huot and other Dignity officials, including a priest who asked not to be identified, said no church rule or policy says sacraments should be withheld to people because of their sexual orientation.

“The fact that conditions existed for a priest to make this call is upsetting,” said Dignity USA President Marianne Duddy-Burke. “There should be very clear standards. You minister to the person in need without judgment and without conditions,” she said. “It is not the role of the priest to cause the person in distress additional hardship.”

Duddy-Burke said it’s the responsibility of the Archdiocese to set pastoral care standards for priests under its jurisdiction.

“And I would hope that if this case is brought to the attention of Archdiocesan officials, as it should be, that they would respond appropriately and discipline this priest and make it known to every priest and every person that’s providing pastoral care in the Archdiocese that people should be treated as children of God first.”

Barutta said the group’s pastoral committee headed by Huot has a list of priests on call to provide pastoral care for people in situations similar to Plishka.

“Can you imagine Pope Francis being at that hospital?” Barutta said. “He would be siting by the bedside and be with this guy for more than an hour. I’m almost positive of that.”

Plishka said he is thankful that, unlike his encounter with the priest, his medical treatment at the Washington Hospital Center worked out well. In what he called state of the art cardiac procedures, he said doctors implanted stents through a catheter to reopen clogged arteries in his heart. Much to his surprise, the hospital discharged him just three days after he was admitted, with instructions that he adhere to several weeks of rest and outpatient treatment.

Once at home, Plishka said he called the hospital chaplain’s office to lodge a complaint against Fr. Coelho. He said he also called the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception next to Catholic University, where he has attended Mass nearly every Sunday for years.

“They have a priest on call,” he said. “So he called me back and said he agreed with what the priest at the hospital did. He said unless you’re willing to change and basically become somebody you’re not, then this priest had every right to do that, to refuse you communion and to refuse you the last rites of the church,” Plishka said.

He said he doesn’t recall the priest’s name but recalls the priest saying he was the one assigned to take calls from members of the community on that day — Feb. 8.

Ironically, Plishka said, a minister from another denomination came to his hospital room and gave him the spiritual support he didn’t receive from Fr. Coelho. In response to a call to the hospital by one of his friends, who Plishka had told of his encounter with Coelho, the hospital sent a Methodist minister to see him in his hospital room shortly after Coelho’s visit.

“He prayed with me and gave me communion and all of that,” said Plishka. “But it’s not the same. It’s not my religion, you know? I’ve been a Catholic all my life and for them to refuse me a sacrament and to refuse me communion? It destroyed me.”

Now, Plishka said, he decided to speak out about his experience with the hope that it might make a difference.

“I think there comes a time when as a gay man you have to take a stand, you know? It’s just intolerable to be treated like you’re nothing. And I could have died. And all I did was ask for the rites of the church that are due to me. But because I’m gay I’m denied that.”

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Rehoboth Beach

SUNFESTIVAL takes center stage as Rehoboth Beach closes out summer

Labor Day Weekend bustling with events, including David Archuleta performance

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David Archuleta headlines this year’s SUNFESTIVAL on Saturday in Rehoboth Beach. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Labor Day Weekend marks the unofficial end of summer in Rehoboth Beach, but there will be no shortage of LGBTQ events, with CAMP Rehoboth’s annual SUNFESTIVAL taking over town this weekend.

Thursday (9/3)

Get your Labor Day Weekend started early Thursday night with happy hour from 5-7 p.m. at Diego’s Bar & Nightclub, followed by Naughtee Bingo hosted by Magnolia Applebottom at 8:30 p.m.

After bingo, the party continues with Dancing at Diego’s from 9 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.

Aqua Bar & Grill will also kick off its Labor Day Weekend festivities Thursday with a DJ spinning from 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Friday (9/4)

The weekend ramps up Friday night at Aqua, where DJ Matt Bailer will keep the dance floor moving from 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Over at Diego’s, DJ Steve Sidewalk will then take over Diego’s for Freedom Friday from 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m.

Saturday (9/5)

The main event of the weekend arrives Saturday with the opening night of CAMP Rehoboth’s SUNFESTIVAL.

Billed as the ultimate party to close out the summer, SUNFESTIVAL has become one of Rehoboth’s signature Labor Day Weekend events. The annual celebration sells out each year, with proceeds benefiting CAMP Rehoboth.

Doors open at 6:30 p.m. with refreshments available at the cash bar while attendees are invited to socialize and find their seats.

Saturday night will feature local singer Ashley Williams as the opening performer, followed by headliner David Archuleta. The event will also feature a live auction.

Back across town Saturday, Aqua will continue its Labor Day Weekend DJ lineup from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Diego’s will also have plenty happening, with ‘Splash Party’ hosted by Magnolia Applebottom at 5 p.m., followed by a Saturday Dance Party with Brett Oosterhaus from 9 p.m.- 1:30 a.m.

The Blue Moon hosts its popular Legends Show at 9 p.m. It’s an all-live singing show by the Blue Moon cast of celebrity impersonators.

Etienne Pilon has taken Rehoboth by storm this summer. Check out the talented singer/pianist at The Pines from 7-10 p.m.

Sunday (9/6)

Sunday’s SUNFESTIVAL event will shift the focus to the dance floor, with globally renowned DJs Robbie Leslie and James Anthony scheduled to perform. Doors open at 7 p.m., with dancing continuing until 1 a.m.

On Sunday, Aqua will throw its annual White Party, with DJs spinning from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Guests are encouraged to dress in white for the holiday weekend celebration.

Diego’s will host its Sunday High T-Dance with Pamala Stanley at 5 p.m. Later that evening, DJ Tannr will be spinning at 9 p.m.

John Flynn is on the piano from 6-8 p.m. at the Blue Moon.

Monday (9/7)

The final day of Labor Day Weekend brings one last chance to hit the dance floor before summer officially winds down.

Aqua will close out its five-day Labor Day Weekend celebration with DJ Biff from 3-7 p.m.

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Maryland

Anne Arundel schools now need parent permission to call trans students by preferred names

Conservative groups challenged system’s policy

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Anne Arundel County Public Schools has issued new internal guidance for students who ask to be addressed by gender-affirming names and pronouns. (Photo by Eric Thompson for the Baltimore Banner)

By JESSICA CALEFATI | Anne Arundel County Public Schools staff cannot use transgender students’ preferred names if their parents oppose it, according to an internal document reviewed by the Banner, a change that comes after conservative groups challenged the school system’s approach to gender identity.

Teachers union president Kristina Korona told members in an Aug. 20 email that the new guidance undermines district policy on acceptance and inclusivity and “will begin harming affected students immediately.”

Previously, the district didn’t require parental permission to use a high school student’s chosen name and pronouns corresponding to their gender identity, the internal document says. Now it does. The change comes as parents challenge the suburban school system’s gender identity policy and regulation in court and the Trump-Vance administration threatens the district’s funding.

The rest of this article can be found on the Baltimore Banner’s website.

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District of Columbia

‘People don’t see me. They see a trend’

New popularity of all things Asian warps view of multiple cultures

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Lily Brugman (Photo courtesy of Lily Brugman)

As I was growing up, my parents often shared stories about how they were bullied when they were my age, just for being Asian. My mom is Cambodian and my dad is “Wasian,” Chinese and white. Students teased them for their looks, their homemade lunches, and treated their traditional holidays as jokes.

I once asked my mom when I was little if she could pack me dumpling leftovers for lunch. “Yes,” she said with a surprised look, adding, “I would have never wanted to bring dumplings to school when I was your age because I would always get bullied for them. I’m glad times have changed.” 

At the time, I was confused. Whenever I brought a homemade Asian dish to school for lunch, I was happy to hear intriguing and curious questions from the other kids. It felt good to have my meal be popular and different from the Lunchables everyone else had.

Though times have changed, racism still continues. It just has a new face. Today, social media pretends to flatter our cultures in an insincere way trying to gain popularity just for clicks. Think anything from K-pop to Japan’s surge in international tourism. Even Starbucks has added drinks with the flavor of ube yam, native to the Philippines, onto its menu.

I feel that now when people see me, they don’t see me, they see a trend. 

For years, Asian people have been portrayed as foreign or exotic. The new embrace of foods and fashion at first felt good. Asians have never been represented as much as they’ve deserved. 

But this new popularity warps what non-Asians see. Instead of the blunt and direct racism my parents faced, everything now is a gray area, more discreetly hidden behind some TikTok video. It actually normalizes racism and stereotypes.

Whitewashing my culture 

As a 15-year-old Asian American who lives in D.C., I’ve always been one of the few Asian kids in school; my high school today counts less than 2 percent of students as being of Asian descent. I remember always being called “that one Asian girl” or some slur a kid learned from their parents. Every time I search for something related to Asian culture, such as a recipe or maybe a holiday, it’s always the same thing: some white person whitewashing my culture.

Social media is the main culprit, of course. I realized this when I entered high school and got a phone and was introduced to the internet. That is when I realized how messed up the new stereotypes around Asians are. 

One pattern I started to notice was people wanting to be Asian just because it was popular. It was hurtful, patronizing, and annoying. They made assumptions about our race and then only found us “cool” because we were trending. How can people go from hating us or finding us weird, to then only liking us because we’re popular?

There was a trend going around on TikTok called “race change to another” or RCTA.  It is this trend of people manifesting certain physical traits to change their appearance in order to change races. According to journalist Emi Tran, writing then as an intern for NBC Digital, the trend started when a white woman wanted to be Japanese. The woman began posting TikTok videos of herself wishing for different features such as monolids. Tran wrote in that 2023 article that “the overwhelming majority of the RCTA community wants to be East Asian.”

People also look up to K-pop culture, idolizing the pop groups pulled together by big entertainment companies. Most people expect all Koreans to be K-pop fans. Korean friends are asked about K-pop all the time even though they are not into the South Korean music genre.

Although I am not South Korean — I am half Cambodian and Chinese — I still get asked, almost like I’m expected, “You’re really into this group, right?” or “Can you tell me how to pronounce this member’s name?”

I was asked even worse questions during COVID-19. Suddenly, discrimination and violence were increasing specifically toward Asians everywhere. Suddenly, almost everyone was blaming Chinese people for spreading and causing COVID-19.

I remember going to school for one of the last times before quarantine had started and hearing kids whisper, “Oh, she’s going to give us the Coronavirus.” President Donald Trump had publicly posted his opinions about the situation on social media, blaming China for the pandemic, even calling it the “Chinese Virus” or the “Wuhan Virus.” According to NPR, anti-Asian hate crimes in U.S. cities surged 149 percent that year.

Lily Brugman’s parents (Photo courtesy of Lily Brugman)

The topic of Asians in the media has always been complicated. One moment people can hate us for being weird and different and the next we’re suddenly popular and cool for the same reasons. 

I feel conflicted on whether I should feel happy that we’re being represented or angry that it’s all for the wrong reason and has the wrong effects.

Lily Brugman is a sophomore at Benjamin Banneker Academic High School, one of Youthcast Media Group’s journalism class partners. She worked with YMG volunteer and Professor Emerita in journalism at American University Amy Eisman on this piece.

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