Living
Service chiefs: ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal proceeding smoothly
Military leaders testify before House committee Thursday
Gen. Norton Schwartz, chief of staff of the U.S. Air Force, at Thursday's hearing. (Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)
The military service chiefs testified on Thursday that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal implementation was proceeding smoothly and that they don’t anticipate major problems with moving toward open service in the long term.
In a hearing before the Republican-controlled House Armed Services Committee, uniform leaders of the military services said “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal implementation was proceeding in a way that they felt was favorable.
The chiefs of the Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force — Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Gary Roughead, Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James Amos and Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Norton Schwartz — spoke on behalf of their services while Army Vice Chief of Staff Gen. Peter Chiarelli represented his service.
Many of the service chiefs — especially Amos, who said he feared open service could be a distraction that could cost Marines’ lives on the battlefield — voiced opposition to legislative action to end the anti-gay before law last year before Congress took action to pass allowing for repeal.
However, following the passage of repeal legislation, each of the chiefs committed to working toward repeal and issued guidance on implementing open service to their subordinates — a sentiment they voiced in testimony before the committee.
Roughead, who was among the chiefs to favor “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal last year, said he doesn’t think repeal would have a measurable impact on the Navy.
“The United States Navy can successfully implement a repeal of the law,” Roughead said. “Combat effectiveness is what we provide the nation and repeal will not change who we are or what we do.”
Roughead said he’s established July 1 as time for when the Navy will be complete training for open service and said the service is on track to achieve that goal.
Amos noted that despite his earlier opposition to repeal, he issued guidance to the Marine Corps on the path toward open service and created a video to prepare Marines for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.
“I’m looking for issues that might arise specifically coming out of the … training, and to be honest with you, chairman, we’ve not seen it,” Amos said. “There’s questions about billeting for Marines — I mean, the kinds of questions you would expect — but there hasn’t been the recalcitrant pushback, there’s not been the anxiety over it from the forces in the field.”
Amos said the Marine Corps has completed 100 percent of Tier 1 and Tier 2 training — which includes training of service leadership — and said Tier 3 training, training of the total force, is 41 percent finished and would be complete June 1.
Gen. Peter Chiarelli, vice chief of staff of the U.S. Army. (Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)
Echoing the notion that repeal implementation is proceeding smoothly, Chiarelli, who’s superior Army Chief of Staff Gen. George Casey opposed repeal in testimony last year, said the training to prepare soldiers for open service is effective.
Chiarelli maintaining training “is not disruptive” to the Army, but said the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal implementation process for the service “will take time.”
“The chain teaching program facilitates thoughtful, constructive dialogue between leaders and subordinates,” Chiarelli said. “This dialogue is hugely important, especially at the lowest levels, where ownership and consensus are most critical.”
Chiarelli said he participated in the first session along with Casey and other four-star generals” and “can attest the process works.”
Schwartz, who testified last year that he didn’t want “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” implementation until 2012, said the Air Force is also moving toward open service in a deliberate but expeditious manner.
“We will rely on steady leadership at all levels to implement this change in a manner that is consistent with standards of military readiness and effectiveness, with minimal adverse effect on unit cohesion, recruiting and retention in the Air Force,” Schwartz said.
Schwartz added his service has trained about 15 percent of all airmen — some 117,000 of the force — is on track “to train the remainder within the project training window.”
Despite their generally favorable view of moving toward open service, both Chiarelli and Schwartz identified “moderate risk” with implementing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal, although they said they were mitigating the risk through educating service members.
LGBT advocates following the hearing that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal said the testimony demonstrates training is on track and further congressional hearings are unnecessary.
Alex Nicholson, executive director of Servicemembers United, said the testimony demonstrates the service chiefs are “comfortable with this policy change.”
“This should be the last waste of their time and taxpayers’ resources to try to undo the inevitable,” Nicholson said. “‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is going away, and we will have a stronger military and a stronger nation as a result.”
No committee hearings specifically devoted to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal are planned in the Senate. Tara Andringa, a spokesperson for Senate Armed Services Committee Chair Carl Levin (D-Mich.), said his committee has asked the chiefs to inform panel members about the progress of repeal as part of the hearing on the fiscal year 2012 budget.
Despite the confidence that chiefs expressed in moving toward open service, Republicans on the committee voiced concerns about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” or griped about the process that led to passage of legislation allowing for repeal of the anti-gay law.
House Armed Services Committee Chair Buck McKeon (R-Calif.) said he disapproved of the way the Democratic-controlled House last year proceeded with repeal legislation after the Pentagon published its study in November on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
“As a result of the rush to judgment that bypassed this committee, Congress was denied the opportunity to ask questions and identify weaknesses in the repeal implementation plan,” McKeon said. “Now, we’re confronted by an implementation process that is moving quickly to completion of the education and training phase.”
McKeon maintained that the “one outcome that must be avoided” is a path for the U.S. armed forces that would “put the combat readiness of our military forces at risk.”
Following the hearing, McKeon told the Washington Blade that the chiefs’ testimony didn’t allay his concerns — but insisted they were based on the congressional repeal process as opposed to open service itself.
“My views of established from the way it was handled in the first place to get to this point,” McKeon said. “They’re just doing their job.”
Aubrey Sarvis, executive director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, chided for McKeon for holding the hearings and for asserting that insufficient discussion led to repeal.
“It’s particularly unfortunate that the full committee chairman, Mr. McKeon, has decided to become a party to this ugly cabal to play politics with our men and women in uniform,” Sarvis said. “This has traditionally been a bi-partisan committee, but under the current leadership of McKeon and [House Armed Services Subcommitee Chair Joe] Wilson, that sane and sensible approach is at risk.”
While Republicans voiced concern about the passage of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal legislation or implementing open service in the U.S. military, Democrats on the panel indicated support for the repeal legislation Congress passed last year.
Rep. Adam Smith (D-Wash.), ranking Democrat on the committee, said the issue of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has been “hotly debated” since its inception in 1993 and disputed the argument that Congress didn’t undertake sufficient discussion before acting — adding lawmakers “made the only logical choice” last year by enacting repeal.
“I believe we have analyzed this at enormous length over an enormous period of time, and at some point you have to make a decision about what the best way to go forward is,” Smith said.
Smith added the longtime service of gays in the military is well known — although they’ve been serving in secret because of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” — and said he’s “yet to meet a service member who wasn’t abundantly aware of somebody that they were serving with [who] was gay or lesbian, and yet we have the finest military in the world.”
Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-Calif.) said when Congress was going through the process of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal she had no doubts the U.S. military could handle open service.
“I did not believe that our military units were so fragile that finding out having somebody next to you that was openly gay would be disruptive to the mission of our units,” she said. “I am very proud so far, as you’ve discussed today, of all men and women in uniform, who not only go out and fight for us everyday but who are also working through this new policy that you’re trying to implement.”
Sanchez asked whether service members discharged would be able to re-enter the military if there was no other reason for their separation.
Schwartz replied that discharged service members would be able to re-enlist based on the needs of the services to which they apply and there is no guarantee for returning at the same grade.
Pressed by Sanchez on what options are available to gay service members if they feel they’re harassed upon seeking re-entry, Schwartz replied an appeal process is available both through an inspector general and the Board of Corrections.
Could legislation disrupt certification?
In December, President Obama signed legislation allowing for repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” but the anti-gay law will only be off the books after 60 days pass following certification from the president, the defense secretary, and the chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Defense officials have said certification is anticipated mid-summer.
But Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) has introduced legislation in the House that could complicate or delay certification by expanding the certification requirement to include direct input from each the chiefs.
Following the hearing, Hunter told the Blade he still thinks legislation to expand the certification requirement is necessary despite the chiefs’ testimony because of “the same reason [he] put it up in the first place.”
Hunter said he’s been talking with McKeon’s staff about having a vote on his legislation in committee and is expecting a vote during the panel markup for the FY2012 budget.
McKeon seemed unaware of any plans to hold a vote on Hunter’s legislation or didn’t want to disclose his plans. Asked by the Blade whether he was expecting a vote, McKeon replied, “I don’t know. We’ll have to look at it and see.”
Nicholson said Hunter was probably referring to the FY-2012 defense authorization bill — legislation over which the House Armed Services Committee has jurisdiction.
Additionally, Nicholson said Hunter may have enough votes to attach the measure as part of the House version of the defense legislation, but won’t have a shot of passing it through the Senate or having Obama sign the legislation.
“Of course, the reason we’re not worried about it is because it’ll never pass the Senate,” Nicholson said. “So I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised and I wouldn’t necessarily be alarmed even if it passed as part of the House defense budget.”
At my stage of life — “somewhere between 40 and death,” as the iconic line goes in the musical “Mame” — I want some pampering. A lot of pampering.
Luckily, for anyone who constantly craves a soothing spa, steam room or sauna, there’s the completely updated Mercedes S-Class. This flagship sedan is now so full of glitz, glamour, and gee-whiz gadgetry, it gives new meaning to the term “auto erotica.”
Does this make the S-Class a “gay” ride? For me, any vehicle that pushes my buttons like this one is a Kinsey 6.
MERCEDES S-CLASS
$122,000 (est.)
MPG: 21 city/31 highway
0 to 60 mph: 4.3 seconds
Trunk space: 19 cu. ft.
PROS: Exceptional comfort. Ultra-quiet cabin. Cutting-edge safety.
CONS: Price climbs fast. Tech learning curve. Sportier competitors.
The S-Class continues to define what luxury really means, with a bolder silhouette, larger grille, and striking, next-gen LED headlights. There’s also an optional illuminated Mercedes star on the hood. Overall, nearly 2,700 parts are new or improved, so more than 50 percent of this vehicle has been updated. An extreme makeover, to be sure.
At the same time, this latest S-Class leans harder into intelligence and electrification than ever before. Under the hood, a range of turbocharged inline-six and V8 engines — paired with mild-hybrid systems — deliver power in a way that seems almost edited for smoothness. Braking is solid and strong, too, but never abrupt. All the engineering is fine-tuned and intentional.
Yes, the top-of-the line S580 version is more expensive, almost $140,000. But it’s also blisteringly fast, zipping from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.9 seconds. That’s as lickety-split swift as a Lamborghini Revuelto supercar, which has a starting MSRP of $610,000 and can easily exceed — yowza! — $800,000.
Colors? There are 150 to choose from for the exterior and 400 for the interior. You can even customize the illuminated door sills, interior stitching and wheel accents.
And the ride quality? Sublime. Adaptive air suspension reads the road constantly, leveling out imperfections before they even register. Rear-axle steering enhances maneuverability, making this full-sized sedan feel surprisingly nimble in tight spaces. On the highway, the S-Class simply glides like a private yacht on the calmest of seas — extremely quiet, composed and completely unbothered.
Whenever you slide inside, the cabin immediately sets the tone. A massive OLED digital display — the same high-def technology used for cinematic viewing and gaming monitors — anchors the dashboard, running the latest MBUX infotainment interface. Highly customizable, this software allows for advanced voice commands that feel natural, not forced. And an augmented-reality navigation system takes your route and overlays it onto live camera feeds. It’s intuitive — mostly, as there is a learning curve for all this cutting-edge gear. Overall, though, such amenities make older setups feel like dial-up internet.
A Burmester surround-sound stereo is available in 3D or 4D, with up to 31 speakers, 1,690 watts and tactile transducers in the seats that vibrate and pulse with the music. Those seats are, of course, extremely comfortable. And the seatbelts? These are now heated.
Let’s not forget the latest cabin air-filtration system, which can remove ultra-fine particles to deliver air quality that rivals medical environments. Clean air, yes, but even this seems like a special treat. It’s like being swaddled in couture, not ready-to-wear.
And lastly, there’s the rear-seat area, which — to be honest — is where the S-Class really shines. Executive packages offer multi-contour reclining seats with rapid heating and ventilating, heated armrests and massage functions. You can opt for a footrest, which ups the glam factor to give you a calf massage. Dual 13.1-inch display screens come with their own remote controls. There’s also a video-conferencing feature, to help transform the rear cabin into a fully connected mobile office. For me, it feels less “back seat” and more “private lounge.”
Even in fiction, high-tech luxury carries weight. Tony Stark helped cement the idea that state-of-the art vehicles can be aspirational, not just practical. The magical S-Class fits right into that narrative — minus the flying suit (for now).
Advice
I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life
How can I turn things around before it’s too late?
Dear Michael,
I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life.
I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. I can’t say why. I don’t think I’m defective. I wasn’t unattractive when I was younger (still not bad looking), I think I’m an interesting person to spend time with, but everything always seemed to fizzle out.
Thankfully, I missed AIDS because I came out after people knew what to do. Sometimes I wonder if fear of contracting the virus metastasized into a fear of getting close. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve consciously kept people away. Consciously I have wanted someone to share my life with, very much.
With my 65th birthday and official senior citizen status approaching, I’ve been taking stock of my life and am coming to the hard realization that I’m never going to find that elusive partner.
I don’t go out anymore because people look right through me, except the ones who have a fetish for older guys. No one’s actually interested in me as me, a unique person rather than what they see on the surface.
I’m tired of my coupled friends. They’re always talking about “we.” Yes, I have become resentful that they have what I want and will never get. I know that’s not admirable but it’s how I feel, secretly, and I am sick of feeling like this when I am around them. So why be around them?
And I’m tired of my friends who are focused on sex all the time. It just all feels like a waste of time. I don’t get anything from a hookup anymore, they’ve been feeling increasingly meaningless. I feel like I’m someone’s momentary opportunity to get off, rather than any kind of real connection.
I’m just sick of the whole chase I’ve been doing for the last 40+ years.
I’m realizing that the whole thing has been pointless, a quest for a partner who is never going to materialize and a lot of diversions along the way that have added up to a despairing feeling that I’ve wasted my life trying to get something that will never happen.
Gay life hasn’t been so gay for me. And I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line. Yes, if you haven’t noticed, I’m getting bitter.
What do I do with this dead end?
Michael replies:
How about looking for a different road to go down?
I’m not going to challenge your belief that you aren’t going to find a partner. I think it’s possible that you could, because there are other guys out there, in your age range, who are looking. But you have no guarantee, especially if you have decided to take it off the table.
So what else can you do with your life? How can you make your remaining time on this earth well-lived?
From your letter, it’s clear what you don’t want to do: Look for a boyfriend, hook up, or spend time with your current friends. Surely there must be more possibilities for your life than those options.
So my advice is to figure out some things you care about and start doing them. Travel? Volunteering? Getting a companion animal? Taking classes? Finding a new career? Those are just a few of the ideas I can come up with, but I don’t know you. What ideas can you generate, that you suspect you’d like to pursue?
In other words, start putting one foot in front of the other and go in some new directions that intrigue you enough to explore.
Sitting around feeling miserable does not help you to get anywhere. It keeps you feeling miserable. Sitting around waiting to feel better does not lead you to feel better. What would help you get to a better place would be to start taking action on your own behalf. Always keep in mind that while you are alive, with your faculties intact, you do have the choice to take this step, over and over and over again.
If you give yourself something (or some things) worthwhile to put your focus on, and do your best to shift your focus there whenever you notice that you are lamenting, I’m hopeful you will create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
I’m also hopeful that if you are spending time doing things that you actually enjoy and that enrich your life, you may find more satisfying companionship than you are experiencing with your current friend group. (And yes, this could include a romantic relationship if you decide to be open to this possibility.)
A brief reply in an advice column can point you in the right direction, but it is likely not enough to sustain and motivate you through a major life overhaul.
Therefore, I suggest that you find a therapist to help you figure out how to move forward and what to move toward; and also to grieve, and put to rest as best you can, the loss of the life you hoped you would have.
I know that transcending the loss of a huge lifelong dream may seem impossible. But working toward this, as best you are able, would help you.
Relatedly, one more thing that I hope you can address with a therapist is your bitterness. I do understand why you feel so bitter, and I also think that it is torquing your life in a downhill direction.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
Honey, have we been priced out of gay paradise?
Rehoboth remains more accessible than many queer beach destinations
Let’s set the scene, darlings. It’s a scorching July Saturday. You’ve got a trunk full of rosé, a playlist that slaps harder than a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” elimination, and a group chat blowing up with your people en route to Rehoboth Beach — the Delaware beach town that has been the LGBTQ community’s summer headquarters for decades. Sun, sand, Poodle Beach, drag shows, and the kind of easy, breezy freedom that only comes from being surrounded by your tribe.
Now imagine pulling up to a “FOR SALE” sign on that charming two-bedroom cottage two blocks from the boardwalk — the one you’ve been eyeing for years — and seeing the price tag: $1.97 million. Honey, put the rosé down. We need to talk.
Nation’s Summer Capital Has a Spending Problem
Rehoboth Beach has long worn the nickname “The Nation’s Summer Capital” like a crown, owing to the annual migration of Washingtonians — and increasingly, Philadelphians and New Yorkers — who descend on its 27 miles of Atlantic coastline every summer. For the LGBTQ community in particular, Rehoboth has never been just a beach town. It has been a sanctuary, a second home, a place where you can hold your partner’s hand on the boardwalk without a second thought. But the real estate market? She is not reading the room.
According to Redfin data, the median sale price of a home in Rehoboth Beach recently hit $1.96 million — a jaw-dropping 106% increase year over year, and a figure that sits 127% above the national median. The price per square foot has climbed to $1,160, up nearly 27% in the same period. Gag.
So Who IS Buying Right Now?
Let’s not be dramatic — people are still buying in Rehoboth. They’re just a specific kind of people. According to neighborhood data, the per capita income in Rehoboth Beach runs around $118,239, equating to a household income of nearly $473,000 for a family of four. About a third of the workforce telecommutes, many in high-earning, white-collar professions. And more than 68% of residents hold a college degree, compared to a national average of under 22%.
If you want to buy a median-priced home in Rehoboth today with a standard 25% down payment, you’d need to bring nearly half a million dollars to closing — and then cover about $4,000 a month in ongoing expenses.
Still, the market isn’t quite the frenzy it was at peak pandemic frenzy. Homes are sitting on the market for an average of 88 days as of early 2026 — up significantly from the frantic bidding wars of a few years ago, when a listing might vanish before you could refresh Zillow a second time. Sellers are (slowly) getting the memo that buyers have limits.
Have Your Beach House (and Airbnb It, Too)
Many LGBTQ buyers have discovered a savvy workaround to Rehoboth’s sticker shock: buy a property, rent it during peak season, and let your summer visitors essentially pay your mortgage.
The numbers surprisingly support this strategy. The Rehoboth Beach short-term rental market currently has around 928 active listings, with hosts averaging $400 per night and annual revenues of approximately $39,689. The busiest month, predictably, is July — when guests book an average of 96 days in advance (so yes, those summer reservations your friends keep missing out on are being snapped up in April).
The key is making your property stand out in a crowded market. Properties accommodating eight or more guests dominate the Rehoboth STR market (nearly half of all listings), so that five-bedroom house with a game room suddenly starts to look like a business plan. At the same time – keep in mind that location, location, location honey – that is also so valuable. Even a two-bedroom condo close to the beach will also rent favorably well and get those numbers needed to make the most sense to your pockets.
This method allows you to have a second home, enjoy it, have friends enjoy it, and also helps recoup some of the overhead so the overhead and increase in overall purchase price is a bit more manageable.
What It All Means for Our Community
Rehoboth has always been more than real estate. It is one of the few places on the East Coast where LGBTQ people have, for decades, built an actual physical community — businesses, organizations, gathering spaces, neighborhoods — not just a social scene. CAMP Rehoboth, Poodle Beach, the Blue Moon (which, after some drama, was recently sold to new owners who pledged to keep it a queer-affirming space — phew), and countless gay-owned restaurants and shops form an ecosystem that attracts our community every summer precisely because the roots run deep.
But ecosystems require people — year-round residents, small business owners, artists, service workers — not just wealthy second-home owners. When prices rise to the degree they have in Rehoboth, the people who sustain that community can no longer afford to stay. It’s a pattern playing out in LGBTQ neighborhoods from San Francisco’s Castro to New York’s Chelsea, and it’s worth watching closely here.
The good news? Rehoboth remains more accessible than many comparable queer beach destinations. Provincetown, Mass. — the other iconic LGBTQ beach town on the Eastern seaboard — regularly sees median home prices north of $1.5 million with far less inventory and a significantly smaller footprint.
And Delaware’s tax structure does the community a quiet but important favor: no state sales tax, among the lowest property tax rates in the country, and relatively favorable income tax treatment for retirees. These aren’t glamorous talking points, but they matter when you’re running the numbers on whether your beach house dream can actually pencil out.
The Bottom Line, Babe
Can our community still afford Rehoboth? The honest answer is: it depends on what you mean by Rehoboth.
If you mean a single-family home within walking distance of Poodle Beach with an ocean view and a wraparound porch — prepare to spend north of $1.5 million, need a household income pushing six figures annually, and move fast when something comes to market.
If you mean a condo or townhome in the greater Rehoboth area – or a property you plan to rent out in peak season to offset costs — there are still real pathways in.
And if you mean belonging to a community, showing up every summer, taking up space on that beach, supporting LGBTQ-owned businesses, and making sure Rehoboth’s queer identity doesn’t get washed away by the luxury market tide — well, that part doesn’t have a price tag.
It just requires showing up. So pack the car. Bring the rosé. The beach is still ours.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
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