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Queery: Don Michael Mendoza

The visionary behind a new Black Fox Lounge cabaret night answers 20 gay questions

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Don Michael Mendoza (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Spoken word performance and musical theater may seem like distant cousins at best to some, but not to Don Michael Mendoza. Sensing a gulf between the two performance worlds, he and friend Regie Cabico created a space for the two worlds to come together.

They co-host La-To-Do, a cabaret series that runs every Monday night at Black Fox Lounge from 8:30 to 10 p.m. It launched in January and, according to Mendoza, has been a hit.

“We’d done a show together last summer at the Fringe Festival and just started a conversation about how there’s really no cabaret culture in D.C.,” Mendoza says. “We wanted something more than just an open mic, where anyone can just go up there and it’s not always the best quality. We just found there is a lot of misunderstanding between the two worlds. Musical theater types think the spoken word people are just strange people who studied English and sit at home all day like Sylvia Plath and the spoken word people think the theater folks are just doing mass-produced stuff like ‘Wicked.’ We’ve found there’s a lot more to both worlds.”

Mendoza and Cabico, both gay, co-host the series and take turns performing. The show spotlights two guest entertainers each week as well, mostly volunteers whom the two co-hosts have vetted. They’re also hoping to make the event a hot networking spot for local artistic types.

“We’re still kind of figuring it out,” Mendoza says. “We’re not trying to change the world or anything. Just trying to provide some fun and entertainment on a Monday night where people can go there, be themselves, see good art and also perform.”

There’s a $10 cover to attend, which includes a drink. Visit the group on Facebook for more information.

Mendoza, a 23-year-old Pittsburgh native, came to Washington in 2006 to study at American University. He graduated with double majors — broadcast journalism and musical theater. He worked for the college in media relations after graduating but went to Vida Metropole on 15th and P about six weeks ago for a change of pace. He’d eventually like to do something full time in performance but is still figuring that out.

Mendoza is single and lives in Logan Circle. He enjoys working out, travel and theater in his free time. (Blade photos by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out since I was 20, so three years, and the hardest person to tell was my mother. Even though she always told me it would be OK if I ever were, I knew that it would still flip her world and image of me upside down.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

MSNBC’s Thomas Roberts because he’s the first news anchor to publicly come out in a world that usually masks LGBT people behind a straight news persona. His coming out was due to a tragic personal event, but he didn’t let it ruin his determination. He was not afraid to be who he is and strive for journalistic excellence at the same time, which got him to where he is today, and I hope to follow the same ethical and moral path in what I do.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Not to be biased, but I really love Black Fox Lounge because of the calm, jazzy atmosphere, good food and drinks and the friendly owners and staff.

Describe your dream wedding.

It will be a big wedding. I want my partner and I to be surrounded by everyone who matters most in our lives. I want it to be at a location in the countryside and it will be the definition of class. Everything would be tasteful and well thought out.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Representation for D.C. residents in Congress. I maintain my Pennsylvania license because I like voting in a state where my voice matters and until D.C. residents have full voting rights, I refuse to become a full resident of the District.

What historical outcome would you change?

The results of the 2000 presidential election.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The tragedy of  9-11 because, like the JFK assassination was for my parents, I will always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the moment I heard the news.

On what do you insist?

That the dishes are washed and the apartment is clean for the many friends I always have over for dinner parties.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

“Smiling is an understatement for me these days. Ah, me. :)”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“I’ll be your fortune, cookie!”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I wouldn’t do it. It took me 20 years to figure it out what makes me happy! Why would I ever want to change it?

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I believe that there is a God, but that all the religious tension and conflict stem out of people’s imposed beliefs on something that none of us really understand.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Keep on doing what you’re doing. Any and all progress is good.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

I like the soles of my feet, so I don’t think I would do it for anything.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That if you’re lesbian you have to be butch and if you’re a gay man you have to be feminine. Your sexual preference has nothing to do with the way you carry yourself.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Weekend” because I think all gay men, single or in a relationship, need to watch it for the lessons it has to offer, especially in a city where finding a stable relationship is difficult to pursue.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Playing hard to get when you start seeing someone. Just be honest about what you’re doing. It makes everything less complicated.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

It’s not really a trophy or a prize, but I would like to be on the cover of GQ one day. I’ve enjoyed the magazine since I knew how to dress well, and to be featured in a fashion spread in that publication would be amazing!

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That life after college brings so much unexpected crap and that nothing can ever prepare you for the joys and pains of adulthood no matter how much advice you receive ahead of time.

Why Washington?

It was always a second home to me since we moved to Pittsburgh when I was a toddler because we visited so often. I chose to come to college here and when it came to deciding on where to start my adult life, I couldn’t see any other option.

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Photos

PHOTOS: Remove the Regime rally and march

Dropkick Murphys, Earth to Eve perform on steps of Lincoln Memorial

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The Dropkick Murphys perform at the Remove the Regime rally outside of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, Nov. 22. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The Remove the Regime rally and march was held on Saturday, Nov. 22.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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PHOTOS: Transgender Day of Remembrance

Observance held at Metropolitan Community Church

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Transgender Day of Remembrance was observed at Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C. on Nov. 20. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Transgender Day of Remembrance was observed at the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C. on Thursday, Nov. 20. The event was emceed by Rayceen Pendarvis and Dwight Venson. Musical selections were provided by Agape Praise and Dynamic Praise. Proclamations from the D.C. Council and the D.C. Office of the Mayor were presented. The Pouring of the Libation was conducted by Rev. Elder Akousa McCray and Rev. Paul Fulton-Woods of Unity Fellowship Church.

Remarks were given by trans survivors of violence. Family members of slain trans woman Dream Johnson were featured speakers. Prayers were given by Rev. Cathy Alexander and Rev. Dwayne Johnson of Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C. Yael Shafritz gave a Jewish prayer through a video presentation. Closing remarks were given by community leader, Earline Budd.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Books

Pioneering gay journalist takes on Trump 2.0 in new book

Nick Benton’s essays appeared in Fall Church News-Press

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(Book cover image via Amazon)

Nicholas Benton is a well-known local LGBTQ advocate and journalist and the longtime owner and editor of the Falls Church News-Press, a weekly newspaper.

In his eighth book out now, Benton offers a new set of remarkable essays all crafted in the first eight months of Trump 2.0 and its wholesale effort at dismantling democracy and the rule of law. Most were published in the Falls Church News-Press, but he adds a new piece to this volume, as an addendum to his “Cult Century” series, revealing for the first time his experiences from decades ago in the political cult of Lyndon LaRouche, aimed at providing a clearer grasp of today’s Cult of Trump. 

His “Please Don’t Eat Your Children” set takes off from the satire of Jonathan Swift to explore society’s critical role of drumming creativity out of the young. 

Below is an excerpt from “Please Don’t Eat Your Children, Cult Century, and other 2025 Essays.”

Please Dont Eat Your Children

In his famous short essay, “A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public,” author and Anglican priest Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) uses cutting satire to suggest that cannibalism of the young might help solve a battery of social ills.

As we examine our broken society today, it seems to me that reflecting on Swift’s social critique can be quite useful. Now we face a nation filled with anger and division and there is little to suggest any real solutions other than insisting people “don’t do that!” We can start out with the observation that young children, left to their own, are neither hateful nor cruel. How do they get that way later on in their lives? What drives them toward such emotional states and behaviors? It is not a problem only for the margins of society, for the extreme misfits or troubled. It is defining the very center of our culture today. Our divisions are not the cause, but the result of something, and nobody is saying what that is.

Swift doesn’t say what it is in his biting little essay. But it is implied by a context of a lack of bounty, or poverty, on the one hand, and an approach to it characterized by obscenely cruel indifference, on the other. He coined the phrase “useless eaters” in defining his radical solution. In Hitler’s Germany, that term resonated through the death camps and some in our present situation are daring to evoke it again as the current administration pushes radical cuts in Medicaid funding.

But while that refers to the old and infirm, mostly, it is the young we are talking about here. The problem is that our society is structured to devour our young and as they begin to find that out, they rebel. Not in all cases is this the practice, of course. Where there is little or no lack, things are different. We nurture our young, as we should, and we love them. Lucky is the child who is born to parents who are of means, and in a community where nurture is possible and valued. But even such children are ultimately not immune from facing a destiny of pale conformity battered by tightly delimited social expectations and debt slavery. If they have enough ambition, education and doors opened for them, some can run the gauntlet with relative effectiveness. Otherwise, our young are raised to die on battlefields, or to struggle in myriad other painful social conflicts aimed at advancing the world of their elders. In the Bible, there is a great admonition against this process that comes at the very precondition for the tradition it represents that begins with Abraham.

It is in the book of Genesis at the beginning of the Biblical story when, as that story goes, God commanded Abraham to kill his son, Isaac, as a sacrifice. As Abraham is about to obey, God steps in and says no. The entire subsequent eons-long struggle to realize Abraham’s commission by God to make a great nation that would be a light to the world would have been cut short right then if Abraham had slain his own son. The message is that all of the Abrahamic traditions, Judaism, Islam and Christianity, owe their source, and in fact are rooted, in God’s command to reject the sacrifice of children to the whims of their elders. The last thousands of years can be best defined in these terms, where nurture is pitted against exploitation of our young with, at best, vastly mixed results. Scenes like that at the opening of “All Quiet on the Western Front,” the World War I novel and film where a teacher rallies a classroom full of boys to enlist in the war, is bone chilling. Or, the lyric in Pink Floyd’s iconic song, Comfortably Numb, “When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now. The child is grown, the dream is gone.”

Nick Benton’s new book is available now at Amazon.

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