Arts & Entertainment
Gone too soon
Teen suicide has received renewed awareness but the issue can affect gays well into adulthood
David Chung, a former Nellie’s bartender, committed suicide July 8. (Blade file photo by Pete Exis)
When David Chung took his own life a few weeks ago, his death sent shockwaves through a community that knew him as the smiling Nellie’s bartender. As hundreds gathered at his funeral service, many only wanted to remember the happiness he brought to those around him.
But Chung’s death is a reminder of a serious and often silent illness that has long plagued the LGBT community. According to a 2008 study from the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, lesbian, gay and bisexual youths and young adults are three times more likely to report suicidal ideation (thoughts about suicide) and as high as seven times more likely to have reported attempting suicide. Research in these areas is still limited since mortality data does not report sexual orientation.
And while LGBT teen suicide has gotten a lot of attention in the last two years since a spate of bullying and suicide cases have been reported around the country leading to gay columnist Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” campaign and renewed awareness of the Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org), an LGBT youth suicide prevention non-profit, depression and suicide disproportionately affect LGBT people at various ages.
Randy Pumphrey, manager of behavioral health at Whitman-Walker Health, says part of suicide prevention is being able to tell the warning signs. He admits, however, that it is not easy for people not trained in the medical field to differentiate between normal ups and downs and full-blown depression.
“I think it is going to be hard, unless you know the person really well,” he says. “You need to watch for extreme changes in behavior.”
Some of these behavioral changes include not acting the same at work or in social groups, withdrawing from social situations, engaging in more risky activities and verbalizing a death threat or wish.
“A lot of people will make outright allusions to suicide like, ‘I won’t be here anymore,’” says Tamara Pincus, a clinical social worker and therapist. “They may even start to give their possessions away to people, indicating that they are making plans to take their lives.”
Both Pumphrey and Pincus cite the stigma LGBT people face as a big stressor on those already predisposed to depression.
“It might be internalized homophobia,” Pumphrey says. “People who are having trouble identifying as gay or lesbian when they are in a heterosexual marriage or not being able to come out at their job, they might attempt suicide. This feeling of rejection, that can be a really huge thing.”
Mary Lou Wallner, minister at T.E.A.C.H. Ministries, directly understands how rejection can affect a person. Her daughter, Anna, committed suicide in 1997. Wallner says her daughter came out to her in a letter in 1988.
“At the time I was deeply entrenched in a conservative church,” she says. “When she came out, I thought that it was an abomination. I told her so in a letter.”
In the letter, she wrote, “I will never accept that in you. I feel it’s a terrible waste, besides being spiritually and morally wrong … I do and will continue to love you, but I will always hate that.”
Waller says she did not understand that her sexual orientation was not a choice. Nine years went by during which they continued contact but then in 1996, Anna began seeing a therapist who encouraged her to cut off contact with her family. Wallner began collecting cards and money she wanted to give her daughter in a shoebox so when they began speaking she could give them to her. Wallner never got the chance.
“There were probably a ton of warning signs,” she says. “I feel there were clues she was trying to give me. I have many, many regrets.”
Before Anna came out to her mother, she tried slitting her wrists and in another incident, took a whole bottle of aspirin. In hindsight, Wallner says she would have, “gotten in her car and driven to her right away” once she had cut off communication.
Pumphrey says the challenge is not only identifying the warning signs of depression, but also taking action. He says it might be a challenge to speak with someone who is going through this, but in the end it would be worth it.
“What happens in our culture is people are afraid to ask the questions about how a person is thinking and feeling,” he says. “If a person is having suicidal thoughts, they are usually thinking about how they are going to do it. Getting their plan helps you intervene and it may buy you some time.”
If a person seems to be posing an immediate threat to themselves or others, Pumphrey says the person should be taken to an emergency room or 911 should be called. This way he/she can be evaluated and possibly get treatment.
“My prerogative at this time is going to be their safety,” he says. “They may be angry upfront because it feels like a violation, but this is really serious and they might need help.”
Pincus says there are still several challenges facing the LGBT community, especially teenagers and young adults who are really connected to their family. She suggests if families are not supportive of their child’s sexual orientation, that person should seek support outside of their family.
“I think we would like to say that our society is getting past the stigma of LGBT, but we are really not,” she says. Pincus, who came out as bi when she was 16, says that the continual harassment and bullying that occurs in schools and other social venues to LGBT people is a major reason why the suicide rate is higher than for other groups.
“People are still getting beat up for holding hands with their partners and transgender people are getting shot because of their gender identity,” she says.
Since her daughter’s death, Wallner has shared her story with other groups around the country and was featured in the documentary “For the Bible Tells Me So.” She began T.E.A.C.H. Ministries, which stands for “To Educate About the Consequences of Homophobia.” She tries to spread the message of tolerance, not only for the LGBT community, but also for those who may not understand completely.
While she does not discuss scripture with others, she does have a message for other believers.
“It’s not a choice, if it is not a choice it can’t be a sin,” she says.
Friday, June 19
Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7 p.m. at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Saturday, June 20
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Pride Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
LGBTQ People of Color will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ people of color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. There will be all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host “Sunday Supper on Saturday” at 2 p.m. It’s more than just an event; it’s an opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and invest in something meaningful, and enjoy delicious food, genuine laughter, and conversations that spark connection and inspiration. For more details, visit the Center’s website.
Sunday, June 21
Kinetic Presents will host “DiscoVERS: Pride with Alexis Tucci & Clinton Foster” at 10 p.m. at Sax Restaurant and Lounge. Alexis Tucci and Clinton Foster trade off behind the decks all night, weaving uplifting disco and driving house into one continuous set. Throughout the evening, surprise performances unfold across the room, woven into the music rather than stacked on top of it. Tickets cost $41.76 and are available on Eventbrite.
Monday, June 22
“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
Center Faith will host “Pride Interfaith Service” at 7 p.m. at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church. This is the 43rd annual LGBTQ+ community celebration of religious pluralism and interfaith collaboration. Founded during the era of the Names Project AIDS memorial quilts, we continue to connect and weave many LGBTQ+ faith communities. For more details, email [email protected].
Queer Book Club will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. The Queer Book Club meets on the fourth Monday of the month to discuss queer books by queer authors. This month’s reading is “The Skin and it’s Girl” by Sarah Cypher. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Tuesday, June 23
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
“Self-Defense Class with Avi Rome” will be at 12:30 p.m. Rome is a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community and a full time Martial Arts instructor with 25 years of teaching experience. He holds a 5th Degree Black Belt in Jhoon Rhee Tae Kwon Do and is the director of the studio’s Adaptive Tae Kwon Do program for students with special needs. He has also run numerous self-defense workshops for various groups and situations. For more details, visit the center’s website.
Wednesday, June 24
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Thursday, June 25
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.
Sports
Minor league team in York, Pa., forfeits Pride Night game after some players refuse to wear special jersey
City is roughly 20 miles north of Md. border
An independent minor league baseball team says it is forfeiting a game because some of its players refused to wear a special Pride Night jersey.
The Atlantic League Pro Baseball’s York Revolution were planning to hold their 11th annual Pride Night event Thursday for a game against the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs.
But the Revolution announced the day of the game that it wouldn’t be played. York is about 20 miles north of the Maryland line. The Blue Crabs play in Waldorf.
The rest of this article can be found on the Baltimore Banner’s website.
Blog #1: I was excited about my trip even though Gate 1 Travel notified me there was a change in the itinerary. France decided to close the Burgundy canal for long overdue repairs, so we would be traveling on the C. du Rhone au Rhin. I boarded my Air France flight arriving in Paris on time. Contrary to what I was told to expect, customs went really smoothly.
Day 1: Because customs went quickly, I waited 45 minutes for my pre-arranged driver, to take me to the Gare de Lyon, where I boarded my fast-train to Lyon. A two-hour trip. In Lyon it was a long walk to the hotel, The Radisson Blu, but only because I exited the station on the wrong side. Finally got there, checked into a room on the 36th floor with a spectacular view of Lyon. Then took a stroll around the area, a short nap, and finally it was time for dinner and to meet the rest of the traveling party. There would only be 13 of us in the group. Five of us from D.C./Rehoboth, and eight others. I met our guide Patricia, who is from Portugal, and spoke fluent French and English. She is charming, and clearly very knowledgeable. She worked with Gate 1 for many years. We stayed at the hotel for our welcome dinner. It was a great meal, and over drinks, each of us was asked to introduce ourselves to the group. Aside from the five of us, there were three women traveling alone, one gentleman alone, and two couples. They were from New Jersey, New York, Florida, Houston, and Nebraska. I was sitting across from the woman from Nebraska. Conversation at dinner was pleasant but I quickly realized one person was apparently a MAGA. Wonder if you can guess where she was from, lol. But we also found if we didn’t talk politics, which we agreed not to do, things were fine. After dinner we all headed to our rooms for a good night’s sleep.
DAY 2: We woke to beautiful weather. I headed to the included breakfast at the hotel, which was really very good. After breakfast we boarded a bus for a tour of Lyon. We had a full-size bus for just the 13 of us. Our guide for the half day tour, was Vincent, and he is charming and young, and told us his fiancé lives in Lyon. He was incredibly knowledgeable. We began at the Basilica, which is being repaired on the outside, but the inside is, wow! Incredible stained glass, and there was a service going on in one of the smaller side chapels which I l listened to for a bit. The Basilica is high on the hill and the views of Lyon are spectacular from there. Then we headed to the old city and walked around for an hour, ending up at the smaller cathedral. Directly in front of it they had set up a great market, mostly food, which would be there for a week. Lyon is a foodie paradise, with, we were told, a restaurant, or at least coffee shop, for every 250 people. We then had a choice of staying in town, or going back to the hotel on the bus, which I did. The afternoon and evening were free time to do as we pleased. I headed to the Les Halles du Lyon Paul Bocuse, named after the famous chef, to take a look around. It is a large market with small restaurants connected to most of the stalls. It was charming. I then headed to the huge three-story mall across from our hotel and walked around for an hour. Then caught up on some emails, and writing, and met my friends, Paul and Martin, John and Dan, for dinner at 6. We went to a really nice Bistro, which John had found, two tram stops away from the hotel, and enjoyed some drinks and a relaxed dinner. The owner of the place found us a waitress who spoke great English, which made ordering really easy. After a two-hour great meal, we headed back to the hotel. Riding a tram in Lyon is easy, you just need to use your credit card. It is an honor system. Back at the hotel I headed to my room and packed, our luggage had to be outside the door by 8:00 am the next morning. I set my alarm for 6:30 so I had time to eat at the buffet breakfast. Then it was on the bus to head to our barge.
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