Arts & Entertainment

Gone too soon

Teen suicide has received renewed awareness but the issue can affect gays well into adulthood

Published

14 years ago

August 2, 2012

Erin Durkin

David Chung, a former Nellie’s bartender, committed suicide July 8. (Blade file photo by Pete Exis)

When David Chung took his own life a few weeks ago, his death sent shockwaves through a community that knew him as the smiling Nellie’s bartender. As hundreds gathered at his funeral service, many only wanted to remember the happiness he brought to those around him.

But Chung’s death is a reminder of a serious and often silent illness that has long plagued the LGBT community. According to a 2008 study from the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, lesbian, gay and bisexual youths and young adults are three times more likely to report suicidal ideation (thoughts about suicide) and as high as seven times more likely to have reported attempting suicide. Research in these areas is still limited since mortality data does not report sexual orientation.

And while LGBT teen suicide has gotten a lot of attention in the last two years since a spate of bullying and suicide cases have been reported around the country leading to gay columnist Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” campaign and renewed awareness of the Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org), an LGBT youth suicide prevention non-profit, depression and suicide disproportionately affect LGBT people at various ages.

Randy Pumphrey, manager of behavioral health at Whitman-Walker Health, says part of suicide prevention is being able to tell the warning signs. He admits, however, that it is not easy for people not trained in the medical field to differentiate between normal ups and downs and full-blown depression.

“I think it is going to be hard, unless you know the person really well,” he says. “You need to watch for extreme changes in behavior.”

Some of these behavioral changes include not acting the same at work or in social groups, withdrawing from social situations, engaging in more risky activities and verbalizing a death threat or wish.

“A lot of people will make outright allusions to suicide like, ‘I won’t be here anymore,’” says Tamara Pincus, a clinical social worker and therapist. “They may even start to give their possessions away to people, indicating that they are making plans to take their lives.”

Both Pumphrey and Pincus cite the stigma LGBT people face as a big stressor on those already predisposed to depression.

“It might be internalized homophobia,” Pumphrey says. “People who are having trouble identifying as gay or lesbian when they are in a heterosexual marriage or not being able to come out at their job, they might attempt suicide. This feeling of rejection, that can be a really huge thing.”

Mary Lou Wallner, minister at T.E.A.C.H. Ministries, directly understands how rejection can affect a person. Her daughter, Anna, committed suicide in 1997. Wallner says her daughter came out to her in a letter in 1988.

“At the time I was deeply entrenched in a conservative church,” she says. “When she came out, I thought that it was an abomination. I told her so in a letter.”

In the letter, she wrote, “I will never accept that in you. I feel it’s a terrible waste, besides being spiritually and morally wrong … I do and will continue to love you, but I will always hate that.”

Waller says she did not understand that her sexual orientation was not a choice. Nine years went by during which they continued contact but then in 1996, Anna began seeing a therapist who encouraged her to cut off contact with her family. Wallner began collecting cards and money she wanted to give her daughter in a shoebox so when they began speaking she could give them to her. Wallner never got the chance.

“There were probably a ton of warning signs,” she says. “I feel there were clues she was trying to give me. I have many, many regrets.”

Before Anna came out to her mother, she tried slitting her wrists and in another incident, took a whole bottle of aspirin. In hindsight, Wallner says she would have, “gotten in her car and driven to her right away” once she had cut off communication.

Pumphrey says the challenge is not only identifying the warning signs of depression, but also taking action. He says it might be a challenge to speak with someone who is going through this, but in the end it would be worth it.

“What happens in our culture is people are afraid to ask the questions about how a person is thinking and feeling,” he says. “If a person is having suicidal thoughts, they are usually thinking about how they are going to do it. Getting their plan helps you intervene and it may buy you some time.”

If a person seems to be posing an immediate threat to themselves or others, Pumphrey says the person should be taken to an emergency room or 911 should be called. This way he/she can be evaluated and possibly get treatment.

“My prerogative at this time is going to be their safety,” he says. “They may be angry upfront because it feels like a violation, but this is really serious and they might need help.”

Pincus says there are still several challenges facing the LGBT community, especially teenagers and young adults who are really connected to their family. She suggests if families are not supportive of their child’s sexual orientation, that person should seek support outside of their family.

“I think we would like to say that our society is getting past the stigma of LGBT, but we are really not,” she says. Pincus, who came out as bi when she was 16, says that the continual harassment and bullying that occurs in schools and other social venues to LGBT people is a major reason why the suicide rate is higher than for other groups.

“People are still getting beat up for holding hands with their partners and transgender people are getting shot because of their gender identity,” she says.

Since her daughter’s death, Wallner has shared her story with other groups around the country and was featured in the documentary “For the Bible Tells Me So.” She began T.E.A.C.H. Ministries, which stands for “To Educate About the Consequences of Homophobia.” She tries to spread the message of tolerance, not only for the LGBT community, but also for those who may not understand completely.

While she does not discuss scripture with others, she does have a message for other believers.

“It’s not a choice, if it is not a choice it can’t be a sin,” she says.

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Books

Bros + romance + fantasy = ‘Bromantasy.’

New book a romp full of humor, dragons, kings, and adventure

Published

18 hours ago

August 15, 2026

Terri Schlichenmeyer

(Book cover image courtesy of G.P. Putnam's Sons)

‘Bromantasy’
By Maire Roche
c.2026, G.P. Putnam’s Sons
$20/339 pages

“Danger” just happens to be your middle name.

Any fray, any tussle, anytime anybody needs help, they count on you to step in and save the day. You’re brave, smart and strategic, kind to old people, children, and small animals and, as in the new book “Bromantasy” by Maire Roche, dragons.

Of all the things there were to do – preserving food, keeping house for himself and his best friend Morningthall “Mo” Elmthorn, advanced skincare, and drinking at the local tavern down the road – the one thing Juniper O’Reilly couldn’t resist was a good brawl. It happened so often that Juniper honestly looked forward to it, though Mo wasn’t a fan.

Mo was more grown-up, calm, thoughtful, able, and Juniper loved him for it. He loved Mo, in fact, since they were little boys. He loved Mo in ways that they didn’t talk about, so they kept a wall between their bedrooms in their cottage.

Except for that one time.

They didn’t talk about that, either.

Instead, as they did often, on a warm fall night, Juniper and Mo went to the tavern, where mead was served and they could learn about the king’s weekly quests. There, Juniper could also find a good brawl, which is how he and Mo accidentally got into trouble: Juniper trounced one of the king’s men and was forced into a quest.

He didn’t want to fight dragons and he felt bad that Mo had been dragged along. He felt even worse leaving their farm, sleeping on the ground, wearing the same clothes every day, and not having enough skincare product along. A campfire added to the problem. A roving, lying prince, also in search of dragons, didn’t help. And though a quest was no place for a child, Juniper and Mo found a frightened little girl they had no choice but to protect.

A child with strange eyes, sharp teeth, and fire on her breath.

“And just like that, Juniper and Mo had a dragon.”

Bros + romance + fantasy = “Bromantasy.” It also could equal one of two other things: a romp full of humor, dragons, kings, princes, and adventure.

Or it could equal a whole lot of eye-rolling.

It’s a fact that this book is funny, in the way that a 1980s high school comedy movie is funny – meaning that it’s dippy, giddy, and very caricaturish but you’ll laugh quite often. The story contains everything you want in a fantasy romance (a “romantasy”), including human-like alternate species, a life-changing journey, and plenty of nudge-nudge-wink skirting around the attraction the two main characters have for one another. It’s a decent story, convoluted in just the right way. Purely, it’s an escape.

So why wouldn’t you want to read it? See above, and depending on your favorite reading genre. High-brow literature, this ain’t.

For the right reader, “Bromantasy” is a decent-enough vacation read, something not too taxing or hard on the brain. It’s for novel lovers, dragon hunters, king’s questers, princes, and romantics. For everyone else, this tale is just middling.

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Theater

National tour of ‘The Notebook’ retains its tearjerking power

Talented queer actor Grace Rundberg joins cast fresh out of college

Published

18 hours ago

August 15, 2026

Patrick Folliard

Grace Ohwensadeyo Rundberg (Photo courtesy of National Theatre)

‘The Notebook’
Aug. 18-30
National Theatre
1321 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.
$89-$197
Broadwayatthenational.com

When Grace Ohwensadeyo Rundberg first imagined a career in musical theater, she wasn’t sure exactly how she’d fit in. As a gay actor would she play queer characters? Outside of “Rent” and a few other shows, would there be lesbian parts coming her way?

Rundberg, 23, remembers an acting class in college. “I was doing a romantic scene opposite a male actor when the professor interrupted to say it was ‘unconvincing.’ Well, I’d never had the experience of what it’s like to be with a man, so I’m not surprised it looked a little awkward.”

But for Rundberg, being in the national tour of “The Notebook” has quelled those misgivings. Of course, booking the show straight out of college bolstered her confidence, and playing a woman whose love interests are men has put Rundberg in a place where she’s fine playing straight or gay.

Opening this week in D.C.’s National Theatre (Aug. 18-30), “The Notebook” is a genuine tearjerker (the book, the film, and the musical). It’s the decades long love story of Noah and Allie who despite vast differences, fall in love as teenagers. Over the years, their romance faces separation, societal pressures, the challenges of Alzheimer’s disease, yet somehow prevails.

Shortly after graduating from ⁠Pace University’s musical theater program in 2025, the upfront and buoyant Rundberg was signed to play ensemble member Georgie and understudy for Middle Allie (a young woman caught between youthful passion and reflective memory).

A mezze soprano mixed belter experienced with folk, pop, contemporary styles, she proves an ideal performer to sing Ingrid Michaelson score and act Bekah Brunstetter’s romantic libretto.

And when she understudies the role of Middle Allie, whether by scheduled design or insanely short notice, she sings the familiar tune “My Days,” a standout track from the musical that serves as the show-stopping “11 o’clock number.” Here, she captures the emotional climax when Middle Allie chooses the life and loves she desires.

During a musical childhood spent in Pittsford, N.Y, just seven miles outside of Rochester, Rundberg began music classes at four; she learned piano and belonged to choirs. And though, she says, the family was not really into theater, her mom was a Cher impersonator for a while.

Significantly, Rundberg (whose middle name Ohwensadeyo translates from Cayuga as “Beautiful Earth”) is a citizen of the ⁠Cayuga Nation, an Indigenous nation native to New York state.

Recently, she began learning the Cayuga language, a very important part of the culture, particularly since it’s almost exclusively a spoken language. Rundberg’s cousin, a professor at Cornell University where he teaches Cayuga language and culture, has been a great help. She feels fortunate: “Not everyone has access to their ancestry I’m blessed in this way.”

The Brooklyn-based actor’s ambitions are bold and varied. While landing a national tour was high on her bucket list, she longs to work on Broadway and auditions for TV and film. Being the first to create a character in a new work, especially a lesbian character, is a big goal. “That would tie a lot of things together,” she says. “That’s the ultimate dream.”

In the meantime, Rundberg is working professionally and seeing the country. But touring isn’t without its drawbacks. “I miss New York a lot,” she says. “My girlfriend is there; long distance is a challenge for sure. I’m always in a different place often with different time zones. Still, she has come to see me in San Francisco, Miami, Cleveland, and a few other stops. And I fly to New York when I can. We make it work.”

As a kid, Rundberg watched and rewatched the movie version of ‘The Notebook.’ She says, “It’s one of my favorites. It’s kind of a cliché, I know, but I’m a hopeless romantic.”

The show touches a lot of people; it’s evident at every performance. From the stage, the cast sees audience members crying. In fact, “The Notebook” sells branded souvenir tissue boxes at its merchandise stands for five dollars a pop.

“Beyond elements of sadness there’s also joy,” she adds. “There’s the never-ending devotion and getting through hard times together too. We do our best to send the audience home with hope and love.”