Living

Pride in the Panhandle

W.Va. may be ‘wonderful’ but gays in its eastern tip see room for improvement

Published

13 years ago

August 8, 2013

Marla Seymour and John Mason, officers of a new group called Eastern Panhandle LGBTQ Alliance of West Virginia. (Washington Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

MARTINSBURG, W.Va. — What’s it like to be LGBT in West Virginia? Gay and lesbian residents there say that although it’s not as bad as it could be, there’s still a lot of work to be done.

The state’s Eastern Panhandle — parts of which include quaint towns like Harpers Ferry, Berkeley Springs and Shepherdstown that are sometimes destinations for Washington residents who want to venture beyond the hustle and bustle — is a distinct region.

Martinsburg, in Berkeley County, is just more than 60 miles from Washington and sits along an interesting stretch of Interstate 81 where one can drive through Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania in about 45 minutes. The other two counties in the Panhandle — Jefferson and Morgan — are also easy to navigate, the former especially where it’s not uncommon to find residents who work in the D.C. Metro area but are drawn to West Virginia for its drastically more affordable real estate prices.

The tri-county area is also home to many same-sex households; same-sex marriage is illegal here although it’s not one of the 31 states that have constitutional amendments banning it. According to Williams Institute analysis of 2010 Census data, Jefferson and Berkeley are the two counties with the most same-sex households (Morgan contains drastically fewer). Jefferson has 6.29 per 1,000 households; Berkeley 5.69. Kanawha County includes the state capitol, Charleston, and has a PFLAG chapter, a gay men’s chorus and is home to the state’s LGBT activist group Fairness West Virginia, yet it sits fourth overall in the state for number of same-sex households.

And while Democrats have a stronghold in government here — they currently hold the governorship, both Senate seats and both houses of the state legislature — West Virginians are still considered largely conservative and have supported the Republican candidate for president in every election since 2000.

A new group called Eastern Panhandle LGBTQ Alliance of West Virginia formed in mid-June, its retired organizers realizing they had time on their hands and sensing a need for more interaction among the Panhandle’s gay residents than currently exists.

John Mason came out in 2000 after many years as a family man with two daughters and dual careers in the telecom industry and as an evangelical pastor of a non-denominational Bible church he formerly led in Potomac, Md. He moved to Jefferson County about eight years ago and is neighbors with Marla Seymour, a lesbian who came here from Frederick in 2002.

“Marla and I were talking in her living room one night and we were kind of like, ‘OK, what are we going to do now,’” Mason says over coffee at Jumpin’ Java Café in downtown Charles Town, W.Va., a small town in Jefferson County. The café is one the new group has targeted as gay affirming in a church-and-business directory it’s compiling.

“The light bulb really came on for both of us,” he says. “We just feel this is the perfect option. We’ve got at-risk kids with suicide, kids who have no support, who are homeless because they’re gay and we thought, ‘This is really what we need. We need a resource beyond the internet where there are actual people that these kids can talk to and find support, find community, have social interaction with other gay people. … With the Supreme Court decisions on Prop. 8 and DOMA, we’ve got a lot of momentum going and we’ve got to tap into it and see what we can draw out of it for the LGBT community here.”

The group has elected officers, is working on mission and vision statements and has a Facebook page that has attracted about 2,000 “likes.” The first fundraiser, a drag bingo, is scheduled for Sunday evening from 6 to 10 p.m. at The Club (5268 Williamsport Pike, Martinsburg), the only gay bar in the area. Organizers say they also want to start a PFLAG chapter, an LGBT alcoholics anonymous group and have a Pride event next summer.

“It may just be a covered dish picnic, but it will be something,” Seymour says.

Ally Susan Pellish took kids of parents who attended the first steering committee meeting out for ice cream so the adults could strategize. She’s been involved with AIDS work in the region for years and says she supports the new group wholeheartedly.

“It’s a great opportunity for the residents of West Virginia to see what a viable community we have and how diverse it is and how wonderful the integration can be as it should be,” she says.

Though she loves the area, she says it has its downfalls.

“I know there are children here who have been banned and disowned and have no place to go for Christmas, for the holidays,” she says. “That kind of injustice is just beyond my comprehension.”

Others in the state are also expressing support.

Coby Myers, owner of the Club and gay himself, says supporting charitable and LGBT-affirming groups such as the Alliance is central to his business plan (since opening in January, he says the Club has “done very well.”).

“The Eastern Panhandle has never had anything like this and we have a very large LGBT community here that people don’t really recognize,” Myers says. “I’m all about helping them raise money for whatever will benefit them and the community.”

Attorney Stephen Skinner lives in the Panhandle, founded Fairness West Virginia in 2006 and is the state’s first openly gay elected official. He’s a Democrat in the West Virginia House of Delegates. He called the Alliance effort “noble” and says he’s “delighted to support any group that works toward equality.”

Casey Willits is the executive director of Fairness West Virginia as of May and says although his group is working more on the legislative front — the Alliance is working to attain 501c3 status, which would prevent it from lobbying — he’s excited to see what the group will accomplish.

“It’s so great to see people that are passionate about their community,” he says. “I’m just thrilled that people take it seriously enough that they feel called to take action.”

Mason, who says he’s been devoting about six hours a day to the group, says several goals lie on the immediate horizon — a website beyond the Facebook page, a resource guide to include LGBT-friendly businesses, churches and service groups in the region, an investigation and possible resource sharing with campus and high school alliance groups in the area (there are rumored to be two GSAs at Panhandle high schools but the Blade could not immediately confirm this), the aforementioned PFLAG chapter and more.

As for downsides both encountered or feared, Mason and Seymour say the region’s largely bedroom community type of atmosphere could be problematic. They both know of many gay and lesbian older couples that have second homes or have retired here and aren’t interested in this kind of thing.

“It is a concern of mine that we may bump up against a gay wall,” Seymour says. “I think there may be gay people here who aren’t especially interested in change. I don’t think they would do anything to intentionally harm us, but I think that could be a big bucket of gay support we’d be missing and it concerns me. … Those people are established, they’re comfortable, they come here to get away. They don’t really want to be part of this umbrella or this resource. They come here to vacate, not engage and that’s a different battle entirely. Some of them have supported us but not a lot.”

Mason says his biggest goal is letting young LGBT people know they’re not alone.

“We want to tell them to come join us,” he says. “You may have been born into a conservative family, born into a conservative church, but you can choose your family and we can be that family for you. … We want to provide support, encouragement and resources for that younger gay person who just has no support.”

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Autos

A magical Mercedes

S-Class continues to define what luxury really means

Published

6 days ago

May 23, 2026

Joe Phillips

Mercedes S-Class

At my stage of life — “somewhere between 40 and death,” as the iconic line goes in the musical “Mame” — I want some pampering. A lot of pampering.

Luckily, for anyone who constantly craves a soothing spa, steam room or sauna, there’s the completely updated Mercedes S-Class. This flagship sedan is now so full of glitz, glamour, and gee-whiz gadgetry, it gives new meaning to the term “auto erotica.”

Does this make the S-Class a “gay” ride? For me, any vehicle that pushes my buttons like this one is a Kinsey 6.

MERCEDES S-CLASS

$122,000 (est.)

MPG: 21 city/31 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.3 seconds

Trunk space: 19 cu. ft.

PROS: Exceptional comfort. Ultra-quiet cabin. Cutting-edge safety.

CONS: Price climbs fast. Tech learning curve. Sportier competitors.

The S-Class continues to define what luxury really means, with a bolder silhouette, larger grille, and striking, next-gen LED headlights. There’s also an optional illuminated Mercedes star on the hood. Overall, nearly 2,700 parts are new or improved, so more than 50 percent of this vehicle has been updated. An extreme makeover, to be sure.

At the same time, this latest S-Class leans harder into intelligence and electrification than ever before. Under the hood, a range of turbocharged inline-six and V8 engines — paired with mild-hybrid systems — deliver power in a way that seems almost edited for smoothness. Braking is solid and strong, too, but never abrupt. All the engineering is fine-tuned and intentional.

Yes, the top-of-the line S580 version is more expensive, almost $140,000. But it’s also blisteringly fast, zipping from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.9 seconds. That’s as lickety-split swift as a Lamborghini Revuelto supercar, which has a starting MSRP of $610,000 and can easily exceed — yowza! — $800,000.

Colors? There are 150 to choose from for the exterior and 400 for the interior. You can even customize the illuminated door sills, interior stitching and wheel accents.

And the ride quality? Sublime. Adaptive air suspension reads the road constantly, leveling out imperfections before they even register. Rear-axle steering enhances maneuverability, making this full-sized sedan feel surprisingly nimble in tight spaces. On the highway, the S-Class simply glides like a private yacht on the calmest of seas — extremely quiet, composed and completely unbothered.

Whenever you slide inside, the cabin immediately sets the tone. A massive OLED digital display — the same high-def technology used for cinematic viewing and gaming monitors — anchors the dashboard, running the latest MBUX infotainment interface. Highly customizable, this software allows for advanced voice commands that feel natural, not forced. And an augmented-reality navigation system takes your route and overlays it onto live camera feeds. It’s intuitive — mostly, as there is a learning curve for all this cutting-edge gear. Overall, though, such amenities make older setups feel like dial-up internet.

A Burmester surround-sound stereo is available in 3D or 4D, with up to 31 speakers, 1,690 watts and tactile transducers in the seats that vibrate and pulse with the music. Those seats are, of course, extremely comfortable. And the seatbelts? These are now heated.

Let’s not forget the latest cabin air-filtration system, which can remove ultra-fine particles to deliver air quality that rivals medical environments. Clean air, yes, but even this seems like a special treat. It’s like being swaddled in couture, not ready-to-wear.

And lastly, there’s the rear-seat area, which — to be honest — is where the S-Class really shines. Executive packages offer multi-contour reclining seats with rapid heating and ventilating, heated armrests and massage functions. You can opt for a footrest, which ups the glam factor to give you a calf massage. Dual 13.1-inch display screens come with their own remote controls. There’s also a video-conferencing feature, to help transform the rear cabin into a fully connected mobile office. For me, it feels less “back seat” and more “private lounge.”

Even in fiction, high-tech luxury carries weight. Tony Stark helped cement the idea that state-of-the art vehicles can be aspirational, not just practical. The magical S-Class fits right into that narrative — minus the flying suit (for now).

Advice

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life

How can I turn things around before it’s too late?

Published

1 week ago

May 22, 2026

Michael Radkowsky

I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line and I’m getting bitter.

Dear Michael,

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life.

I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. I can’t say why. I don’t think I’m defective. I wasn’t unattractive when I was younger (still not bad looking), I think I’m an interesting person to spend time with, but everything always seemed to fizzle out.

Thankfully, I missed AIDS because I came out after people knew what to do. Sometimes I wonder if fear of contracting the virus metastasized into a fear of getting close. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve consciously kept people away. Consciously I have wanted someone to share my life with, very much.

With my 65th birthday and official senior citizen status approaching, I’ve been taking stock of my life and am coming to the hard realization that I’m never going to find that elusive partner.

I don’t go out anymore because people look right through me, except the ones who have a fetish for older guys. No one’s actually interested in me as me, a unique person rather than what they see on the surface.

I’m tired of my coupled friends. They’re always talking about “we.” Yes, I have become resentful that they have what I want and will never get. I know that’s not admirable but it’s how I feel, secretly, and I am sick of feeling like this when I am around them. So why be around them?

And I’m tired of my friends who are focused on sex all the time. It just all feels like a waste of time. I don’t get anything from a hookup anymore, they’ve been feeling increasingly meaningless. I feel like I’m someone’s momentary opportunity to get off, rather than any kind of real connection.

I’m just sick of the whole chase I’ve been doing for the last 40+ years.

I’m realizing that the whole thing has been pointless, a quest for a partner who is never going to materialize and a lot of diversions along the way that have added up to a despairing feeling that I’ve wasted my life trying to get something that will never happen.

Gay life hasn’t been so gay for me. And I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line. Yes, if you haven’t noticed, I’m getting bitter.

What do I do with this dead end?

Michael replies:

How about looking for a different road to go down?

I’m not going to challenge your belief that you aren’t going to find a partner. I think it’s possible that you could, because there are other guys out there, in your age range, who are looking. But you have no guarantee, especially if you have decided to take it off the table.

So what else can you do with your life? How can you make your remaining time on this earth well-lived?

From your letter, it’s clear what you don’t want to do: Look for a boyfriend, hook up, or spend time with your current friends. Surely there must be more possibilities for your life than those options.

So my advice is to figure out some things you care about and start doing them. Travel? Volunteering? Getting a companion animal? Taking classes? Finding a new career? Those are just a few of the ideas I can come up with, but I don’t know you. What ideas can you generate, that you suspect you’d like to pursue?

In other words, start putting one foot in front of the other and go in some new directions that intrigue you enough to explore.

Sitting around feeling miserable does not help you to get anywhere. It keeps you feeling miserable. Sitting around waiting to feel better does not lead you to feel better. What would help you get to a better place would be to start taking action on your own behalf. Always keep in mind that while you are alive, with your faculties intact, you do have the choice to take this step, over and over and over again.

If you give yourself something (or some things) worthwhile to put your focus on, and do your best to shift your focus there whenever you notice that you are lamenting, I’m hopeful you will create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

I’m also hopeful that if you are spending time doing things that you actually enjoy and that enrich your life, you may find more satisfying companionship than you are experiencing with your current friend group. (And yes, this could include a romantic relationship if you decide to be open to this possibility.)

A brief reply in an advice column can point you in the right direction, but it is likely not enough to sustain and motivate you through a major life overhaul.

Therefore, I suggest that you find a therapist to help you figure out how to move forward and what to move toward; and also to grieve, and put to rest as best you can, the loss of the life you hoped you would have.

I know that transcending the loss of a huge lifelong dream may seem impossible. But working toward this, as best you are able, would help you.

Relatedly, one more thing that I hope you can address with a therapist is your bitterness. I do understand why you feel so bitter, and I also think that it is torquing your life in a downhill direction.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].