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Long lines, frayed tempers for couples seeking to wed

D.C. courthouse staff overwhelmed as DOMA ruling triggers boom in marriage applications

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David Kero-Mentz, Ken Kero-Mentz, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, marriage equality, District of Columbia, gay news, Washington Blade
David Kero-Mentz, Ken Kero-Mentz, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, marriage equality, District of Columbia, gay news, Washington Blade

David Kero-Mentz and his new husband Ken Kero-Mentz waited two hours for their marriage license to be processed in July. Despite the delay, the couple praised D.C. courthouse staff on the rush of gay marriage license applications following the death of DOMA. (Photo courtesy of the couple)

The number of people applying for a marriage license in D.C. each month has nearly tripled since the Supreme Court issued its landmark ruling on June 26 overturning the Defense of Marriage Act’s provision barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages.

The D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau doesn’t keep track of the gender or sexual orientation of the couples applying for a marriage license. But court observers say gay and lesbian couples make up the overwhelming majority of the additional couples going to the Marriage Bureau on most days at the courthouse at 500 Indiana Ave., N.W.

“We were sitting there and there were so many same-sex couples,” said veteran lesbian activist and businesswoman Eva Freund in describing the scene in the waiting room at the Marriage Bureau last week as she and her partner of 21 years, Elke Martin, waited to be called to file their application for a marriage license.

The two women, who live in Vienna, Va., are among the large number of same-sex couples from states that don’t recognize gay marriage that are now getting married in D.C., which doesn’t have a residency requirement for obtaining a marriage license.

“We just kind of overwhelmed the place,” Freund told the Blade. “And then they called a name and it was a heterosexual couple. And Elke and I looked at one another and said, ‘What are they doing here?’ And then we said, ‘Oh yeah, they need papers, too.”

According to courthouse observers, Freund’s humorous anecdote may be the exception to the disposition of many of the couples – both gay and straight – who become irritable after waiting two hours or longer while the Marriage Bureau staff struggles to process the seeming explosion of applications since late June.

Ken Kero-Mentz, a U.S. Foreign Service officer, and his new husband, David Kero-Mentz, a German national, described their experience with the D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau as favorable, even though the two waited close to two hours in early July to have their license application processed. The couple also had to wait about eight weeks for an appointment to be married in a civil ceremony at the courthouse, a service the court began providing long before same-sex marriage became legal in D.C.

“Everyone was so nice to us,” said David Kero-Mentz, who is applying for U.S. permanent residency status now that the longstanding prohibition of immigration rights for gay bi-national couples ended with the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA.

Ken Kero-Mentz said he and David, while thrilled to be legally married, didn’t view their D.C. ceremony as that big a deal because they were joined as a couple in an official “registered life partner” ceremony in Berlin in 2008, with 95 friends and family members in attendance. Under German law, registered life partners have all the rights and benefits of a marriage, including immigration rights for foreign national partners.

The D.C. Superior Court has processed same-sex couple applications for marriage licenses since March of 2010, when the city’s marriage equality law took effect.

Court spokesperson Leah Gurowitz said that prior to the Supreme Court’s DOMA decision in late June, the court received on average between 300 and 400 license applications a month. But in July the number of couples applying for a license jumped to 977 and in August the number of couples applying totaled 908 – more than double the average, Gurowitz told the Blade.

“The D.C. Superior Court is committed to addressing the needs of those seeking our services as promptly as possible,” she said in a statement. “In order to meet the increased demand, additional staff have been detailed to the Marriage Bureau.”

Gurowitz added, “In addition, we are working to locate additional office space to help handle the number of applicants we are currently seeing each day, as well as evaluating work processes to improve our customer service.”

Gay rights attorneys have said they expected more same-sex couples to marry following the Supreme Court ruling, which cleared the way for married same-sex couples to obtain most if not all of the federal rights and benefits of marriage.

The Obama administration’s aggressive effort to quickly implement the DOMA ruling by directing federal agencies, including all the branches of the military, to provide marital benefits to same-sex spouses of federal workers, civilian and active duty military, has also boosted the number of lesbian and gay couples deciding to tie the knot, experts have said.

D.C. gay activist Christopher Dyer, who last year obtained a license to perform marriages as a court-approved officiant, said the number of same-sex couples seeking him out to perform their marriage has doubled since the Supreme Court decision.

“I’m getting more military people than ever before,” he said. “Many of them are from Virginia.”

Local gay rights attorney Michele Zavos, who practices family law in the D.C. metro area, said she and other attorneys familiar with the marriage laws of D.C. and Maryland are advising out-of-state clients to choose D.C. over Maryland as the preferred place to marry.

Although same-sex marriage became legal in Maryland earlier this year, Zavos points out that unlike D.C., Maryland has a residency requirement for couples seeking to get a divorce. This means that if a same-sex couple from Virginia or other states that don’t recognize gay marriage decide to marry in Maryland, they could not obtain a divorce in Maryland unless they become a Maryland resident for a year, Zavos said.

She noted that they couldn’t obtain a divorce in their home state if that state doesn’t recognize their marriage, especially if the state has a law or constitutional amendment specifically banning same-sex nuptials as Virginia does.

“Nobody wants to hear this, of course,” Zavos said. “They’re about to be married. They don’t want you to be talking to them about getting divorced.”

Nevertheless, Zavos said many same-sex couples knowledgeable about the residency rules for divorce are choosing D.C. and Delaware, which also allows out-of-state couples to file for a divorce without a residency requirement.

Among those encountering the brunt of the delays at the D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau are the private marriage officiants who, among other things, file marriage license applications at the courthouse for their same-sex couple clients.

Deborah Cummings-Thomas and her wife, lesbian activist Sheila Alexander-Reid, co-owners of Marry Me In D.C., Inc., specialize in marrying same-sex couples and taking care of the couples’ marriage-related paperwork.

“It’s a nightmare down there right now,” Cummings-Thomas said. “It often takes two hours, sometimes longer” to file a marriage license application, she said. “I’ve been there when people waiting have gotten very upset.”
She said 95 percent of the couples she marries are from jurisdictions outside D.C. and at least 95 percent or more of her clients arrange for her to go to the courthouse to deal with the application.

“The employees are very nice,” said Rev. Starlene Joyner Burns, another D.C. marriage officiant who reaches out to same-sex couples. “But they realize the office needs more help. It’s not a system that is broken. It’s just that the demand is greater than what it was in the past.”

One marriage officiant criticized Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, claiming she should be doing more to secure funds to hire staff at D.C.’s marriage bureau.(Washington Blade file photo by Jeff Surprenant)

One marriage officiant criticized Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, claiming she should be doing more to secure funds to hire staff at D.C.’s marriage bureau.(Washington Blade file photo by Jeff Surprenant)

Another marriage officiant, who spoke on condition of not being identified, criticized D.C. Congressional Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton for not pushing for more funds from Congress to hire additional staff at the courthouse to handle the greater demand for marriage licenses.

Congress and various federal agencies control the D.C. court system rather than the city government under the city’s limited home rule charter. Norton spokesperson Daniel Van Hoogstraten said he would look into the matter.

Others familiar with the Marriage Bureau noted that the D.C. City Council could help the situation by changing the wording in the city’s marriage law that requires a three-day waiting period between the time a marriage license application is submitted and the time a marriage can take place. Marriage laws in most other states have a similar waiting period but those states, like Maryland, issue the license during the applicants’ first visit to the state marriage bureau and post-date it to prevent the marriage from taking place until after the waiting period expires.

Critics of the D.C. Marriage Bureau say it requires applicants or officiants working on their behalf to return to the bureau a second time to pick up the license following the waiting period, a process that causes further delays.

But according to people familiar with the D.C. marriage law, the law prevents the Marriage Bureau from postdating a marriage license because it states explicitly that a license “shall not be issued until three days have elapsed” from the time the application is filed.

“They have two people handling 50 or 60 people at any given time,” said the marriage officiant who asked not to be identified. “They told me please do what you can to get out the word and help us get more staff.”

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Comings & Goings

Heng-Lehtinen joins Trevor Project as SVP

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Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected]

Congratulations to RODRIGO HENG-LEHTINEN on his new role as Trevor Project Senior Vice President of Public Engagement Campaigns. On accepting the position, he said, “My mission has long been to stop LGBTQ, and especially trans, people from being perceived as political footballs and start getting us seen as real people – your friends, your families, your neighbors. Now I get to focus on that 100% at The Trevor Project.”  

Prior to this, he was executive director, Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE), where he co-led the merger of two national transgender rights organizations, NCTE and TDLEF, to create the new organization. He had served as executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, leading that organization through a period of growth, restoring organizational size and stability. He had served as deputy executive director prior to that. Previously he served as vice president of Public Education, Freedom for All Americans, where he led a successful campaign for transgender nondiscrimination protections in New Hampshire.  He oversaw a full range of legislative lobbying, field organizing, and communications strategies and oganized a leadership coalition, established structure, and divided roles for key committees of 17 state and national partner organizations and local activists.   

Heng-Lehtinen conducted English-language interviews with outlets such as The New York Times, CNN, MSNBC, and Politico. He planned a Transgender Leadership Summit for the Transgender Law Center and served as Development & Donor Services Assistant, Liberty Hill Foundation. He earned his bachelor’s degree in Latin American Studies from Brown University.

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D.C., Va., Md. to commemorate World AIDS Day

Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle will hold a Mass, candlelight prayer vigil

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Washingtonians participate in a World AIDS Day candlelight vigil in Dupont Circle in 2021. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The D.C. area will observe World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 through a variety of community events.

Established by the World Health Organization in 1988, World AIDS Day aims to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS and honor the individuals affected by the epidemic. The global theme for 2025 is “overcoming disruption, transforming the AIDS response.”

Washington

DC Health will host a World AIDS Day event at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Library from noon to 9 p.m on Dec. 1. Attendees can expect live performances, free food and free HIV testing.

The all-day event will also feature community resources from DC Health, DC Public Library, DC Health Link, Serve DC, and the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs.

The Lily and Earle M. Pilgrim Art Foundation is partnering with Visual AIDS, a New York-based non-profit that uses art to fight AIDS, to reflect on World AIDS Day with a film screening on Dec. 1.

The David Bethuel Jamieson Studio House at Walbridge in Mount Pleasant will premiere “Meet Us Where We’re At,” an hour-long collection of six videos. The free screening highlights the complexity of drug use in intersection with the global HIV epidemic.

The videos, commissioned by artists in Brazil, Germany, Nigeria, Puerto Rico and Vietnam, showcase the firsthand experience of drug users, harm reduction programs, and personal narratives. The program intends to showcase drug users as key individuals in the global response to HIV.

In addition to streaming the videos, the event will include an evening potluck and conversation led by Peter Stebbins from 6-8 p.m.

The Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle will hold a 5:30 p.m. Mass and candlelight prayer vigil at 6 p.m. in honor of World AIDS Day on Dec. 1. The event is open to all and includes a subsequent reception at 6:30 p.m.

The Capital Jewish Museum is hosting a speaker series on Dec. 2 from 6:30-8 p.m. that explores the response to AIDS within the Jewish community. Speakers include LGBTQ psychiatrist Jeffrey Akman, physician assistant Barbara Lewis and Larry Neff, lay service leader at Bet Mishpachah, a synagogue founded by LGBTQ Washingtonians. Heather Alt, deputy director of nursing at Whitman-Walker Health, will moderate the event.

The program is free for museum members. General admission is $10 and Chai tickets, which help subsidize the cost of general admission, are $18. Tickets include access to LGBT Jews in the Federal City, a temporary exhibition that collectively explores Washington, Judaism, and LGBTQ history. The exhibition is on view through Jan. 4, 2026.

Virginia

Alexandria Mayor Alyia Gaskins and local residents will commemorate World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 at the Lee Center. 

The event, which is free to attend, will include music, choir performances, educational moments and more. The commemoration will be held from 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Maryland

The Frederick Center will host talks, tabling and a raffle in honor of World AIDS Day. The Frederick County Health Department will conduct free HIV testing.

The event, which is free to attend, will be held on Nov. 30 from 1-4 p.m. The Frederick County Health Department always offers free, walk-in HIV testing on Tuesdays and Fridays from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

The Prince George’s County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority will host a community day of awareness in honor of World AIDS Day on Dec. 6 from 1 a.m. to 2 p.m. The free event will feature free, confidential HIV testing, private talks with medical professionals and health workshops.

The event will be held at Suitland Community Center in Forestville and will include breakfast and snacks.

Damien Ministries is commemorating World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 through the grand opening of the We the People Community & Wellness Collaborative. The event, held at 11:30 a.m. at 4061 Minnesota Avenue, N.E., is free to attend.

Damien Ministries is a faith-based non-profit committed to supporting those with HIV/AIDS.

Begin Anew, a Baltimore non-profit that provides education, outreach and resources to improve public health, wellness and economic stability, is hosting its 4th Annual World AIDS Day Community Celebration on Dec. 1 alongside community partners.

Hosted at the University of Maryland BioPark from noon to 3 p.m., the program will feature keynote speaker Jason E. Farley of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. The celebration will also dedicate awards to local heroes focused on fighting HIV/AIDS and promoting health equity.

The free event includes lunch, live entertainment and networking opportunities with health advocates and partners.

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District of Columbia

Bowser announces she will not seek fourth term as mayor

‘It has been the honor of my life to be your mayor’

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(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, a longtime vocal supporter of the LGBTQ community, announced on Nov. 25 that she will not run for a fourth term.

Since first taking office as mayor in January 2015, Bowser has been an outspoken supporter on a wide range of LGBTQ related issues, including marriage equality and services for LGBTQ youth and seniors.

Local LGBTQ advocates have also praised Bowser for playing a leading role in arranging for widespread city support in the city’s role as host for World Pride 2025 in May and June, when dozens of LGBTQ events took place throughout the city.

She has also been credited with expanding the size and funding for the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, which was put in place as a Cabinet level office by the D.C. Council in 2006 under the administration of then-Mayor Anthony Williams.

It was initially called the Office of Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Affairs. At Bowser’s request, the D.C. Council in 2016 agreed to change the name as part of the fiscal year 2016 budget bill to the Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Affairs.

As she has in numerous past appearances at LGBTQ events, Bowser last month greeted the thousands of people who attended the annual LGBTQ Halloween 17th Street High Heel Race from a stage by shouting that D.C. is the “gayest city in the world.”

In a statement released after she announced she would not run for a fourth term in office; Bowser reflected on her years as mayor.

“It has been the honor of my life to be your mayor,” she said. “When you placed your trust in me 10 years ago, you gave me an extraordinary opportunity to have a positive impact on my hometown,” her statement continues.

“Together, you and I have built a legacy of success of which I am immensely proud. My term will end on Jan. 2, 2027. But until then, let’s run through the tape and keep winning for D.C,” her statement concludes.

Among the LGBTQ advocates commenting on Bowser’s decision not to run again for mayor was Howard Garrett, president of D.C.’s Capital Stonewall Democrats, one of the city’s largest local LGBTQ political groups.  

“I will say from a personal capacity that Mayor Bowser has been very supportive of the LGBTQ community,” Garrett told the Washington Blade. “I think she has done a great job with ensuring that our community has been protected and making sure we have the resources needed to be protected when it comes to housing, public safety and other areas.”

Garrett also praised Bowser’s appointment of LGBTQ advocate Japer Bowles as director of the Office of LGBTQ Affairs,

“Under the leadership of the mayor, Japer has done a fantastic job in ensuring that we have what we need and other organizations have what they need to prosper,” Garrett said.

Cesar Toledo, executive director of the D.C. based Wanda Alston Foundation, which provides housing services for homeless LGBTQ youth, credits Bowser with transforming the Office of LGBTQ Affairs “into the largest and most influential community affairs agency of its kind in the nation, annually investing more than $1 million into life-saving programs.”

Toledo added, “Because of the consistent support of Mayor Bowser and her administration, the Wanda Alston Foundation has strengthened and expanded its housing and counseling programs, ensuring that more at-risk queer and trans youth receive the safety, stability, and life-saving care they deserve.”

Gay Democratic activist Peter Rosenstein is among those who have said they have mixed reactions to Bowser’s decision not to run again.

“I am sorry for the city but happy for her that she will now be able to focus on her family, and her incredible daughter,” Rosenstein said.

“She has worked hard, and done great things for D.C,” Rosenstein added. “Those include being a stalwart supporter of the LGBTQ community, working to rebuild our schools, recreation centers, libraries, gaining the RFK site for the city, and maintaining home rule. She will be a very hard act to follow.”

Local gay activist David Hoffman is among those in the city who have criticized Bowser for not taking a stronger and more vocal position critical of President Donald Trump on a wide range of issues, including Trump’s deployment of National Guard soldiers to patrol D.C. streets. Prior to Bowser’s announcement that she is not running again for mayor, Hoffman said he would not support Bowser’s re-election and would urge the LGBTQ community to support another candidate for mayor.

Bowser supporters have argued that Bowser’s interactions with the Trump-Vance administration, including her caution about denouncing the president, were based on her and other city officials’ desire to protect the interests of D.C. and D.C.’s home rule government. They point out that Trump supporters, including Republican members of Congress, have called on Trump to curtail or even end D.C. home rule.

Most political observers are predicting a highly competitive race among a sizable number of candidates expected to run for mayor in the 2026 D.C. election. Two D.C. Council members have said they were considering a run for mayor before Bowser’s withdrawal.

They include Councilmember Janeese Lewis George (D-Ward 4), who identifies as a democratic socialist, and Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie (I-At-Large), who is considered a political moderate supportive of community-based businesses. Both have expressed strong support for the LGBTQ community.

The Washington Post reports that Bowser declined to say in an interview whether she will endorse a candidate to succeed her or what she plans to do after she leaves office as mayor.     

Among her reasons for not running again, she told the Post, was “we’ve accomplished what we set out to accomplish.”

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