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Long lines, frayed tempers for couples seeking to wed

D.C. courthouse staff overwhelmed as DOMA ruling triggers boom in marriage applications

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David Kero-Mentz, Ken Kero-Mentz, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, marriage equality, District of Columbia, gay news, Washington Blade
David Kero-Mentz, Ken Kero-Mentz, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, marriage equality, District of Columbia, gay news, Washington Blade

David Kero-Mentz and his new husband Ken Kero-Mentz waited two hours for their marriage license to be processed in July. Despite the delay, the couple praised D.C. courthouse staff on the rush of gay marriage license applications following the death of DOMA. (Photo courtesy of the couple)

The number of people applying for a marriage license in D.C. each month has nearly tripled since the Supreme Court issued its landmark ruling on June 26 overturning the Defense of Marriage Act’s provision barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages.

The D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau doesn’t keep track of the gender or sexual orientation of the couples applying for a marriage license. But court observers say gay and lesbian couples make up the overwhelming majority of the additional couples going to the Marriage Bureau on most days at the courthouse at 500 Indiana Ave., N.W.

“We were sitting there and there were so many same-sex couples,” said veteran lesbian activist and businesswoman Eva Freund in describing the scene in the waiting room at the Marriage Bureau last week as she and her partner of 21 years, Elke Martin, waited to be called to file their application for a marriage license.

The two women, who live in Vienna, Va., are among the large number of same-sex couples from states that don’t recognize gay marriage that are now getting married in D.C., which doesn’t have a residency requirement for obtaining a marriage license.

“We just kind of overwhelmed the place,” Freund told the Blade. “And then they called a name and it was a heterosexual couple. And Elke and I looked at one another and said, ‘What are they doing here?’ And then we said, ‘Oh yeah, they need papers, too.”

According to courthouse observers, Freund’s humorous anecdote may be the exception to the disposition of many of the couples – both gay and straight – who become irritable after waiting two hours or longer while the Marriage Bureau staff struggles to process the seeming explosion of applications since late June.

Ken Kero-Mentz, a U.S. Foreign Service officer, and his new husband, David Kero-Mentz, a German national, described their experience with the D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau as favorable, even though the two waited close to two hours in early July to have their license application processed. The couple also had to wait about eight weeks for an appointment to be married in a civil ceremony at the courthouse, a service the court began providing long before same-sex marriage became legal in D.C.

“Everyone was so nice to us,” said David Kero-Mentz, who is applying for U.S. permanent residency status now that the longstanding prohibition of immigration rights for gay bi-national couples ended with the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA.

Ken Kero-Mentz said he and David, while thrilled to be legally married, didn’t view their D.C. ceremony as that big a deal because they were joined as a couple in an official “registered life partner” ceremony in Berlin in 2008, with 95 friends and family members in attendance. Under German law, registered life partners have all the rights and benefits of a marriage, including immigration rights for foreign national partners.

The D.C. Superior Court has processed same-sex couple applications for marriage licenses since March of 2010, when the city’s marriage equality law took effect.

Court spokesperson Leah Gurowitz said that prior to the Supreme Court’s DOMA decision in late June, the court received on average between 300 and 400 license applications a month. But in July the number of couples applying for a license jumped to 977 and in August the number of couples applying totaled 908 – more than double the average, Gurowitz told the Blade.

“The D.C. Superior Court is committed to addressing the needs of those seeking our services as promptly as possible,” she said in a statement. “In order to meet the increased demand, additional staff have been detailed to the Marriage Bureau.”

Gurowitz added, “In addition, we are working to locate additional office space to help handle the number of applicants we are currently seeing each day, as well as evaluating work processes to improve our customer service.”

Gay rights attorneys have said they expected more same-sex couples to marry following the Supreme Court ruling, which cleared the way for married same-sex couples to obtain most if not all of the federal rights and benefits of marriage.

The Obama administration’s aggressive effort to quickly implement the DOMA ruling by directing federal agencies, including all the branches of the military, to provide marital benefits to same-sex spouses of federal workers, civilian and active duty military, has also boosted the number of lesbian and gay couples deciding to tie the knot, experts have said.

D.C. gay activist Christopher Dyer, who last year obtained a license to perform marriages as a court-approved officiant, said the number of same-sex couples seeking him out to perform their marriage has doubled since the Supreme Court decision.

“I’m getting more military people than ever before,” he said. “Many of them are from Virginia.”

Local gay rights attorney Michele Zavos, who practices family law in the D.C. metro area, said she and other attorneys familiar with the marriage laws of D.C. and Maryland are advising out-of-state clients to choose D.C. over Maryland as the preferred place to marry.

Although same-sex marriage became legal in Maryland earlier this year, Zavos points out that unlike D.C., Maryland has a residency requirement for couples seeking to get a divorce. This means that if a same-sex couple from Virginia or other states that don’t recognize gay marriage decide to marry in Maryland, they could not obtain a divorce in Maryland unless they become a Maryland resident for a year, Zavos said.

She noted that they couldn’t obtain a divorce in their home state if that state doesn’t recognize their marriage, especially if the state has a law or constitutional amendment specifically banning same-sex nuptials as Virginia does.

“Nobody wants to hear this, of course,” Zavos said. “They’re about to be married. They don’t want you to be talking to them about getting divorced.”

Nevertheless, Zavos said many same-sex couples knowledgeable about the residency rules for divorce are choosing D.C. and Delaware, which also allows out-of-state couples to file for a divorce without a residency requirement.

Among those encountering the brunt of the delays at the D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau are the private marriage officiants who, among other things, file marriage license applications at the courthouse for their same-sex couple clients.

Deborah Cummings-Thomas and her wife, lesbian activist Sheila Alexander-Reid, co-owners of Marry Me In D.C., Inc., specialize in marrying same-sex couples and taking care of the couples’ marriage-related paperwork.

“It’s a nightmare down there right now,” Cummings-Thomas said. “It often takes two hours, sometimes longer” to file a marriage license application, she said. “I’ve been there when people waiting have gotten very upset.”
She said 95 percent of the couples she marries are from jurisdictions outside D.C. and at least 95 percent or more of her clients arrange for her to go to the courthouse to deal with the application.

“The employees are very nice,” said Rev. Starlene Joyner Burns, another D.C. marriage officiant who reaches out to same-sex couples. “But they realize the office needs more help. It’s not a system that is broken. It’s just that the demand is greater than what it was in the past.”

One marriage officiant criticized Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, claiming she should be doing more to secure funds to hire staff at D.C.’s marriage bureau.(Washington Blade file photo by Jeff Surprenant)

One marriage officiant criticized Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, claiming she should be doing more to secure funds to hire staff at D.C.’s marriage bureau.(Washington Blade file photo by Jeff Surprenant)

Another marriage officiant, who spoke on condition of not being identified, criticized D.C. Congressional Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton for not pushing for more funds from Congress to hire additional staff at the courthouse to handle the greater demand for marriage licenses.

Congress and various federal agencies control the D.C. court system rather than the city government under the city’s limited home rule charter. Norton spokesperson Daniel Van Hoogstraten said he would look into the matter.

Others familiar with the Marriage Bureau noted that the D.C. City Council could help the situation by changing the wording in the city’s marriage law that requires a three-day waiting period between the time a marriage license application is submitted and the time a marriage can take place. Marriage laws in most other states have a similar waiting period but those states, like Maryland, issue the license during the applicants’ first visit to the state marriage bureau and post-date it to prevent the marriage from taking place until after the waiting period expires.

Critics of the D.C. Marriage Bureau say it requires applicants or officiants working on their behalf to return to the bureau a second time to pick up the license following the waiting period, a process that causes further delays.

But according to people familiar with the D.C. marriage law, the law prevents the Marriage Bureau from postdating a marriage license because it states explicitly that a license “shall not be issued until three days have elapsed” from the time the application is filed.

“They have two people handling 50 or 60 people at any given time,” said the marriage officiant who asked not to be identified. “They told me please do what you can to get out the word and help us get more staff.”

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District of Columbia

Center Arts Gallery celebration, auction to take place on Oct. 17

D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center to mark event’s 10th anniversary

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(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center is hosting its 10th anniversary celebration of the opening of its Center Arts Gallery on Saturday, Oct. 17, at the Center’s offices at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W., from 6 – 9 p.m.

“For 10 years, the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Arts Gallery has been more than a place where art is displayed,” a statement released by the center says.

“It has been a space where LGBTQ+ artists are seen, celebrated, and connected to community, and where their work has given expression to the stories of joy, resistance, grief, beauty, survival, courage, and imagination,” the statement adds.

It says those attending the event would have an opportunity to bid on donated artwork in an auction and to meet and interact with “the artists whose creativity has helped bring Center Arts Gallery to life, enjoy wonderful food and music, and celebrate a decade of LGBTQ+ artistic expression.”

But the statement posted on the LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website says free general admission tickets have sold out, with $75 VIP tickets still available. It says the proceeds from ticket sales will be used to help support the LGBTQ+ Community Center’s operations.

Attendees and others were also invited to an event after party at the LGBTQ bar and cafe Spark Social from 9-11 p.m. at 2009 14th St., N.W.

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Comings & Goings

Richard Garrett honored by Delaware governor

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Richard Garrett

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected]. 

Congratulations to Richard Garrett on being honored by Delaware Gov. Matt Meyer with the Order of the First State. Garrett is executive director of the Children’s Beach House, in Lewes, Del. Upon accepting the honor he said, “I am deeply honored to be recognized by Governor Meyer with the Order of the First State, but I hope this occasion also shines a light on children who are struggling in some of the same ways I struggled as a child and teenager. Perseverance, connection, patience, and the presence of caring adults made all the difference in my life. For 24 years, my greatest privilege has been helping Children’s Beach House create that same sense of belonging and possibility for children and families across Delaware. They are strong, smart, resilient, and resourceful—and they deserve every opportunity to discover just how much they are capable of becoming.” 

He told the Blade, “In many ways, my own childhood helps explain why this work has been so deeply personal to me. I grew up in a family that struggled financially, and I had a speech impediment so severe that, as a young child, I often could not be understood without one of my siblings acting as an interpreter. Thankfully, I had strong parents and a mother who was an educator. She spent countless hours helping me practice consonant blends and trying to master the “R” and “S” sounds. Just as importantly, she understood that being around other children my own age would teach me things that no adult could. What made a difference in my life were competent, caring adults who built relationships with me and gave me the sense of safety and belonging I needed. People like Sister Kathleen Swan, OSF; Father Gerald M. Dunne, OSFS, Dr. Susan Cassidy and her husband, John Bronson, to name a few!  In many respects, my story mirrors the work we do every day at Children’s Beach House. The children and families we serve are strong, smart, resilient, and resourceful. Sometimes what they need most is for someone to recognize those strengths, stand beside them, and give them the relationships and opportunities they need to flourish.” 

Over the years Garrett has grown the Children’s Beach House’s annual budget from approximately $650,000 in 2003 to $4.5 million while strengthening impact, visibility, and organizational infrastructure. He raised $2.5 million in Delaware foundation capital grants, and established a $7 million endowment for the Margaret H. Rollins Center, a $1 million capital endowment, and increased the general operating endowment to $6 million.  

In addition to all that Garrett is the founder and owner of Midway Motion and Fitness. He is also looking forward to the groundbreaking of Midway Pickleball in 2027. He is treasurer of the Community Foundation Board of Kiwanis Club of Coastal Delaware. He began his career as executive director of the Delaware County Children’s CAMP, Media, Pa.; and was director of Student Affairs for the Williamson Free School of Mechanical Trades, Media, Pa.

Garrett earned his bachelor’s degree in psychology from Neumann University, Aston, Pa.; and did his graduate studies in vocational education, Temple University.

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District of Columbia

Physician: addiction doesn’t always look the way you think it does

Yngvild Olsen headed HHS’s Center for Substance Abuse Treatment during Biden-Harris administration

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Dr. Yngvild Olsen (Photo courtesy of Olsen)

Many people think the telltale signs of drug addiction include sweating and vomiting. But a prominent addiction medicine physician says the best signals aren’t always so visible. 

Dr. Yngvild Olsen says more accurate signs come from the brain, specifically the compulsion to keep using drugs, including opioids, despite damage to education, career and relationships. 

While it may be harder to understand the true nature of drug addiction, it’s never been more important because of the increased fatality risk of even microscopic amounts of fentanyl, which can be found in many illegal drugs. 

Olsen, who headed the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment at the Department of Health and Human Services in the Biden-Harris administration, has worked in addiction treatment for more than two decades. She is now a healthcare advisor with the law and professional consulting firm Manatt, Phelps & Phillips and a physician at the Institute for Behavior Resources/Reach Health Services in Baltimore. 

Olsen met with Youthcast Media Group to discuss her career, the opioid epidemic and what to know about fentanyl. The physician, a graduate of Harvard Medical School and the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, cited her field experiences as key in shaping her perspective on addiction treatment and recovery. This interview is edited for clarity and length. 

What made you believe this work in addiction treatment is important?

I had a couple of experiences really early on in my career that very significantly shaped my interest in addiction and addiction medicine, and my belief that I had a role, and that I could really help people get better from that disease. So the first was during the summer between my first and second year in medical school. I spent the summer on the Eagle Butte and Pine Ridge reservations in South Dakota and really saw firsthand just the devastating impact that substance use — in that case, alcohol — had on not only individuals, but their families and whole communities, and just how profound that impact had been for people who had lost their lives, who had lost family members, who had physically, emotionally and spiritually negative impacts of just feeling very hopeless and and trying to find solace in their substance use, particularly their alcohol use, and doing that without really finding it. I think that was really the lesson that experience taught me. 

What did you learn about treatment practices during your medical education? How was that helpful to your career?

When I was a resident in general primary care at Boston Medical Center, I was really fortunate to have a group of mentors who also were general internists, like I was training to be, who were very interested and focused on medical education and research in substance use. And so they modeled for me many of the interactions that we had with patients. I got to do a research study with one of them looking at smoking cessation among people with opiate use disorder, taking methadone. And really importantly, I got to spend a month with one of them at the Boston City Public Health Department’s Opioid Treatment Program, or what some people call a methadone clinic, because he was their medical director. I got to see people recover, and who had recovered, who had gotten their lives back together, gotten their families back together, had new families (or) businesses. It was unbelievably helpful to see that people could recover, that they did recover, and that I, as a physician, could be part of their treatment. I saw people get better, and recover, with medications like methadone and buprenorphine, and other services designed individually for them. That was really helpful and kind of a big eye-opening moment for me.

What factors contribute to addiction and why is it considered a complex disease?

People come into treatment for their addiction — or when they’re not in treatment, but are in an emergency department or on the street — with a lot of shame. They have a lot of shame about this disease that they have, that for so long, they were told, ‘Well, you know, you should just stop. Why can’t you just stop?’ Well, we know that addiction is a disease. It’s a complex disease that has lots of different factors related to it. So there’s a big genetic component that combines with environmental factors and other risk factors. For example, people have what’s called adverse childhood experiences. Some of these are if they grow up with lots of physical or sexual abuse or emotional abuse or have parents who are in jail. That’s really traumatic and so all those childhood experiences that increase stress are a big risk factor. 

What is the easiest opioid to get addicted to?

It used to be heroin. That was a big problem, particularly in the Northeast and other parts of the country. That shifted to prescription opioids, beginning around the year 2000. So for about 10 years, it was really prescription opioids that were a big problem — people misusing them. And then it switched back to heroin. And then in about 2015, fentanyl came on the scene, and that really changed the game, given just how unbelievably potent fentanyl is, so it doesn’t take a lot to cause an overdose. Now there are all those other synthetic opioids, like the orphines and nitazenes and all those combinations of other substances, but fentanyl is really what’s still kind of driving a really big part of the overdose crisis.

Do LGBTQ individuals face heightened challenges when battling addictions? How do addiction specialists like you account for those challenges?

We certainly know that the prevalence of overdose and the challenges of substances is higher in the LGBTQ+ community. Where I see patients, we did a big LGBTQ+ training and had a grant to specifically provide services to that population. Where we were located, in Baltimore City, there is a big transgender community not that far from us. Particularly in the LGBTQ+ population, they have multiple stigmas. So it just compounds multiple stressors. And stress is a risk factor for substance use, and particularly a risk factor for recurrence of a substance use disorder. And so when you have all these negative factors building up in people, that can make it that much more challenging for people to find the services that they find meaningful and that are welcoming and supportive of them. So we tried very hard — and we still do — to make sure that we are a welcoming and safe space, because I think it is that safety that is really paramount.

What advice would you give someone worried about a friend or family member’s substance use?

There are two things. One is: I would talk to that person about your concerns and how that person’s personality changes or their behavior changes when they’re using or in withdrawal, and how that might be impacting their health and how they’re feeling. And then second: you can let them know that there are actual treatments that are really helpful, that can make them feel better and that can help them get back to who they were before they started using. It’s important not to be accusatory because … [people] have a lot of shame already, and so when somebody starts accusing them, that shame just gets worse. And a lot of times, people who have a substance use disorder or are using opioids won’t necessarily agree that they have a problem when you first start to talk to them. But talk to them again every time something happens and say, ‘I’m really worried about you because this now has happened and I see it as being tied to your substance use.’ And let them know that there are people who can help and that they could actually feel a lot better.

This work is part of a partnership between the Washington Blade Foundation and Youthcast Media Group, funded in part through a FY26 Community Development Grant from the Office of D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser. Adrian Malone is a senior at Bard High School Early College DC, one of Youthcast Media Group’s journalism class partners. Shreya Jyotishi, YMG assistant manager of content and programming, is a former Washington Blade intern and 2026 graduate of American University.

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