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Just the way you are

Mom shares story of Barbie parenting adventures

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Raising My Rainbow, books, Lori Duron, gay news, Washington Blade

‘Raising My Rainbow’
By Lori Duron
Broadway Books
$15
278 pages

Raising My Rainbow, books, Lori Duron, gay news, Washington Blade

‘Raising My Rainbow’ by Lori Duron (Image courtesy Broadway Books)

One in a million.

That’s the best way to describe your kid. Not that you’re biased or anything, but it’s true. He’s smarter than other people’s children, very definitely cuter and he has more talent in his left foot than most adults possess in their entire bodies.

No child can compare to yours, that’s a fact. Author Lori Duron’s son is absolutely, wonderfully fabulous, too, and in her new memoir “Raising My Rainbow,” she’ll tell you about C.J.

For the past four years, life in Lori Duron’s household has been separated into two eras: Before Barbie (BB) and After Barbie (AB).

BB marks the time prior to a closet clean out, when a collector doll was absently tossed on the bed. AB is what happened when Duron’s 2-and-a-half-year-old son C.J. spotted Barbie and fell in love. AB, he discovered the “pink aisles of the toy department” at a discount chain, and was awed.

Understanding that her role as C.J’s parent “was not to change him but to love him,” Duron indulged her youngest son’s choices. This was familiar territory, in fact: his love of all things girly reminded Duron of her gay brother. Throughout most of their childhood, she and Michael spent entire weekends building elaborate doll kingdoms and pretend shopping.

She figured she knew what C.J.’s pink fixation meant.

For sure, pinky-girly things made the little guy happy and Duron didn’t want to quash that in her toddler. Her husband, a “guy’s guy,” and their oldest son, who’s “all boy,” were also supportive, though somewhat flummoxed.

The entire family, therefore, was relieved when Duron found a reason for C.J.’s boy-stuff aversion: he’s gender nonconforming, and “slides on the gender spectrum at his leisure depending on the day, the outfit and the occasion.” There was a time when he wanted to be a girl when he grew up but today, he “self-identifies as a boy.”

“Ten or 20 years from now,” Duron says, “will I be the parent of two boys or one boy and one girl?  I don’t know.” But for now, they’re “going to be entering more of the unknown, and … loving our son … no matter what.”

It took me awhile to understand what was going on in “Raising My Rainbow.”

Raising My Rainbow, books, Lori Duron, gay news, Washington Blade

Lori Duron (Photo by Rebecca Dever)

Author Lori Duron seemed, initially, to complain a lot in her story. She describes how much work it was to keep others from finding out about C.J.’s love of “girl stuff,” and exasperation fairly oozed from the pages.

That doesn’t last, though. It’s not long before she layers on the self-deprecating humor while she teaches readers about patience, acceptance, gender and its fluidity. We’re also treated to a wonderful metamorphosis, as Duron turns from consternated parent to confident pillar. That’s exactly what we need to see.

As it turns out, I was disappointed in one thing here: that this book ended so soon.

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Books

Florida’s war on Black, queer lives hidden no more

New book ‘American Scare’ exposes truth of decades of erasure, attacks

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‘American Scare: Florida’s Hidden Cold War on Black and Queer Lives’
By Robert W. Fieseler

“What’s with Florida?,” Bobby Fieseler, disgusted, asked after completing his initial research into the vicious investigation of suspected homosexual teachers by the Florida Legislative Investigation Committee (FLIC) in the 1950s. How did the official animus toward all things queer happen in Florida, Fieseler pitched his publisher. We can be grateful Dutton gave him the green light for “American Scare, Florida’s Hidden Cold War on Black and Queer Lives.” 

Fieseler’s book is a masterpiece of archive activism that begins in a rental van escaping Florida with some 20 boxes of historical documents meant to be seen by no one. The cartons contained a secret second copy of materials that had been held back from the jaws of the Florida State Archives in Tallahassee. Soon, more folders would surface with unredacted materials. “There are friends of Dorothy in any system,” he explains his archival detective work with a wink.

What’s with Florida? In the 1950s, it was all about legislators exposing politically helpless homosexuals to justify the committee’s investigations and budgets. The FLIC documents reveal the names of the accused “perverts,” the cops who raided the restrooms, the terrified queer informants and the professional interview techniques that would extract confessions from the victims. On another level, this was about old-school Southern racists determined to stop integration at all costs with intention to weave lies about Communist infiltration of the NAACP. Finally, Fieseler encountered first-hand an official determination to erase and lock-up this history.  The statewide obsession with erasing history continues to this day. The Florida Department of Transportation this year painted over the community rainbow crosswalk memorial to the Pulse nightclub massacre victims in Orlando.  

 “American Scare” is such a fully documented investigation of what unfolded, it will be impossible to paint over the magnitude of this assault. The book bears witness in gory detail to the ruination of private people that exceeds in pure perniciousness the more famous “Lavender Scare.” Although the “Lavender Scare” purged many more individuals, it was about the U.S. Department of State firing public officials slimed as “pinstripe twerps.” The Florida investigations were a statewide purge using a dark politics of exposure of schoolteachers leading private lives. Fieseler quotes Remus Strickland, the head homo-hunter and executive director of the Southern Association of Intelligence Agents formed in response to the Supreme Court’s Brown v. Board of Education desegregation decision (1954), “If the Committee’s first pursuit (race and Communism) was a mandate, its second pursuit (homosexuals) was an opportunity.”  Remus (that’s really this Southerner’s name) explained years later without remorse, “We first looked at the University of Florida for Communists….then we came back and did the homosexual purge.” Fieseler’s archival research reveals how far-right politicians and investigators like Strickland characterized Communists, African Americans (through the NAACP) and homosexuals as aligned “treasonously in a subversive societal infestation.”  

The whole show was the creation of a wily, populist politician — a Florida “Pork Chopper” — Charley Johns, president of the Florida Senate. “Pork Choppers,” the rural, white Northern Florida wing of the old Democratic Party, controlled the state legislature from the 1930s to the 1960s. They were strongly opposed to integration, Communists, homosexuals, reapportionment and government reform. Johns owned the Charley E. Johns Insurance Agency, which insured state agencies. Fieseler’s history brings these North Florida politicians into grotesque focus. Their “power had lynched history,” he writes about his passion to excavate how they sealed and redacted the records so they would never face responsibility for their actions. 

 “American Scare” reveals how these Pork Choppers were willing to crush homosexuals as an instrument to maintain power. Their victims were isolated gay and lesbian teachers who could only plead for mercy, vanish or inform on one another. They were entrapped by the system itself. Fieseler tells the story of how Remus Strickland pulled Miss Poston, a physical education teacher out of her classroom surprising her with a tape recorder and a request to give a misdirecting statement about the prevention of child molestation. Suddenly Remus changed the subject: “Miss Poston, in your acts with Miss Bradshaw whom you referred to on this record, would she play the part of the aggressor…..She was known as the butch is that true?….Was there any occasion of any oral copulation?” He closed in for the kill, “Could there have been more than one time”?  Miss Poston caved, “Possibly but if so only one more time.” The reel-to-reel tape is turning.

Concert pianist and music teacher William James Neal received the same taped grilling.  Remus begins the interview, “You’re an educated Nigra,” confronting Neal with testimony he was a homosexual “nigra.” Years later, Neal remembered, “He told me I would never teach within the continental limits of the United States. He said he had proof I was a homosexual.” An African-American concert pianist, Neal had extensively toured the U.S. playing with major orchestras and hosting his own radio program in Florida. Neal had the self-respect and courage to take his illegal termination to the Florida Supreme Court. In 1962, the court ruled in his favor (Neal v. Bryant) handing Remus Strickland a devastating defeat, writing “The statements accused teachers allegedly made were obviously extracted under a threat of publicity.”  Vindicated, William Neal nonetheless left Florida never to return.

There have been resolutions for an acknowledgment and apology. None have advanced through the Republican-controlled legislature occupied with a slew of “Don’t Say Gay” bills.  “American Scare’ is larger than a small-bore history of investigations. It is the story of a Great Florida Teacher’s Purge launched to stop integration. Fieseler is done with redactions. He names names. If there is anything redemptive in this Southern hot mess, it is this: Bobby Fieseler, a queer historian, rescued the boxes and delivers readers their contents with history’s gale force.

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New book celebrates gay rights pioneer you’ve never heard of

Craig Rodwell was at Stonewall riots, helped start first Pride, and more

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(Book cover image courtesy of University of Toronto Press)

‘Insist That They Love You: Craig Rodwell and the Fight for Gay Pride’
By John Van Hoesen
c.2025, University of Toronto Press
$36.95/432 pages

Craig Rodwell is, sadly, not nearly as well known as he should be, given his accomplishments. He opened the first bookstore devoted to gay and lesbian literature. He led a chant of “Gay power!” at the Stonewall riots and contributed many articles about the struggle for equality and fair treatment. He helped organize the first Pride march. Thankfully, journalist John Van Hoesen’s new book, “Insist that They Love You,” tells Rodwell’s story.

Rodwell was born in Chicago in 1940 and spent his early years at a Christian Science-run children’s home. As a teenager, he roamed the streets, connecting with older men. One of those lovers was arrested and later died by suicide. He moved to New York to study dancing and joined the Mattachine Society, one of the first groups involved in “gay liberation.” He dated Harvey Milk, a challenging relationship, as the older Milk was still closeted while Rodwell was out and deeply involved in the cause. This was when being gay was a crime and public exposure risked getting fired and evicted.

In 1967, he opened the Oscar Wilde Memorial Bookshop (correcting anyone calling it a bookstore), which openly displayed gay and lesbian books and materials. It had large, inviting windows, different from the typical places gay people congregated. Many walked past it, working up the courage to go in. Once they did, they found a welcoming place where they could learn and connect with others. Van Hoesen writes about the diversity of the Bookshop’s employees, gay, lesbian, Black, and white, who all loved the sense of community and purpose Rodwell created.

That same year he helped form the group Homophile Youth Movement in Neighborhood and created their periodical HYMNAL. He wrote many articles for them and later, for QQ Magazine, describing the forces in straight “heterosexist” society, as he termed it, against gay people. He wrote about mafia-controlled gay bars, including the Stonewall Inn, seedy places that overcharged for watered-down drinks. He decried how the law was used to persecute gay people, describing his arrest for wearing “too-short” swim trunks. He explained what to do if arrested: never speak without a lawyer present and never provide names of other gay people. Van Hoesen helpfully includes these articles in an appendix.

Rodwell’s history of activism is impressive. In 1966, he participated in a “sip-in” protesting a law forbidding bars serving alcohol to homosexuals; it took three attempts before one refused to serve him. He and his partner happened by the Stonewall Inn when the riots began, offering the protesters support. He helped lead a group that picketed Independence Hall in Philadelphia every year as an “Annual Reminder,” arguing with organizer Frank Kameny over the required conservative dress code.

He organized the first Pride march in 1969. One of the biggest challenges was getting all the different gay rights groups, with different objectives, to work together. The police only issued the permit the morning of the march. Among the book’s photos is one of Rodwell and his partner afterwards, looking exhausted but happy.

Rodwell never sought the spotlight for his work, always working with others. Yet he often chaffed against many of the organizations’ philosophies, one of the few Mattachine Society members to use his real name. He refused to sell pornography in the Bookshop, or work with gay business owners funded by the mob. He even threw some customers out. Let’s hope this biography shines more attention on this lesser-known leader of the gay rights movement.

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New book a fun travelogue, memoir focused on cemeteries

‘Somebody is Walking on Your Grave’ takes readers around the world

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(Book cover image courtesy of Hogarth)

‘Somebody is Walking on Your Grave: My Cemetery Journeys’
By Mariana Enriquez, translated by Megan McDowell
c.2025, Hogarth
$30/336 pages

The knee bone’s connected to the shin bone.

You can go up from there, or down your body’s scaffolding. The backbone’s connected to the rib bone. The hip bone to the leg bone, the wrist bone to the finger bones, and in the new book “Somebody is Walking on Your Grave” by Mariana Enriquez, translated by Megan McDowell, there’ll come a day when you won’t need any of them.

She always had an appreciation for cemeteries.

Still, they weren’t an obsession until Mariana Enriquez fell head bone over heel bones in love with a street musician while on a vacation in Italy with her mother. He took Enriquez through a cemetery on their whirlwind romance, which sealed her love for graveyards.

She never seems to miss a chance to tour them, to marvel at the beauty of statuary atop marble resting places, to see tombstones listing sideways, or to note the names and tragedies of the dead. This includes the graves of non-humans, like a horse that helped its owner escape an Argentinian uprising in 1885; and a Scottish dog who guarded his owner’s grave for more than a decade.

Enriquez visited San Sebastián, Spain, and was almost jailed for it; and she was lectured about Aboriginal graves by a white man on Rottnest Island, off the Australian coast. There was a magical sense at Sara Braun Municipal Cemetery in Chile, and an absurd couple of mysteries in Argentina. She visited just some of the 42 cemeteries in New Orleans including, of course, crypts and the grave of Marie Laveau. She spent Dios de Muertos in Mexico, and was surprised that you can live near a funeral home in Savannah and not have ghosts. She visited the catacombs in France, and argued with guides and guards in several different places, noting that people are a lot nicer when they’re dead.

In a very big way, “Somebody is Walking on Your Grave” is a fun travelogue that’s also part memoir, and taphophiles will love it. But readers who specifically add a cemetery tour to their vacation itinerary, or who obsessively scour guidebooks for graveyards to visit will enjoy author Mariana Enriquez’s observations; they’re humorous and not stuffy, lightly acknowledging the bit of the macabre that’s here. She includes history behind the cities she visits, as well as for the cemeteries, and that can be a bit longish sometimes. You may not mind, though, because her descriptions enhance any trip you might make, serving as exactly what you’d want from a real live tour guide.

But toward the end of this otherwise-delightful book, Enriquez unabashedly admits to doing something atrociously unsettling, to which she says she feels no remorse – which may be a hard forgive for readers who wouldn’t ever dream of emulating it.

This book is a fun read, up to that point, so just beware. Most of “Somebody is Walking On Your Grave” is truly interesting, but that one chapter inside here may not fully allow you to wrap your head bone around it.

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