Living
Queery: Laura Durso
The Center for American Progress researcher answers 20 gay questions
Laura Durso gets strange looks when she tells people she enjoys the cold and wanted to get back to the East Coast.
Having lived and worked in some pretty warm locales ā she got her Ph.D. in Honolulu and most recently spent two years in Los Angeles working at the Williams Institute at UCLA ā she says she had been eager to get back to this part of the country.
āIt was an easy transition back,ā the 32-year-old Lynbrook, N.Y., native says. Since July sheās been getting acclimated to her position as director of the LGBT Research and Communications Project at the Center for American Progress.
She says itās important for a āmulti-issueā think tank such as the Center to be involved in advocacy work and research.
āWe have the ability to really ground the advocacy work in quality research, either our own or from elsewhere,ā she says. āWe can help amplify the voices of the other researchers and advocates and give them a forum to come and present. ā¦ We have a unique role as a convener of other peopleās work so the advocacy is really grounded in empirical research.ā
Durso is single and lives on Capitol Hill. She enjoys singing, indoor volleyball and collecting vintage housewares in her free time.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Ā
I have been out over 10 years now and sharing that news with my mother was definitely the hardest. At that time, I had been dating my first girlfriend and was really happy. The pain of not sharing that happiness with my mom was ultimately worse than the anxiety I felt about telling her, and it wasnāt too long after the initial struggle that she bought me hers-and-hers towels, so the story ends well.
Ā
Who’s your LGBT hero?
Ā
Iām trained as a research psychologist so my nerdy response is Dr. Ilan Meyer, the father of minority stress theory. He challenged the field to think about the unique ways in which LGBT people experience discrimination and over a decadeās worth of research has shown the link between minority stress and the health and wellbeing of our community. Despite now considering him both a colleague and friend, I still get star-struck.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?Ā
Ā
I donāt think Iāve lived here long enough to pick a favorite ā sorry for the lack of free advertising, unnamed Washington hotspot.
Describe your dream wedding.
Ā
My sister recently got engaged and Iām pretty sure that Iām going to end up wanting to copy everything that she picks out.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Ā
Part of my job is to persuade people that everything is an LGBT issue, but I think the more we work to eliminate gender-based oppression, the greater impact weāll have on advancing LGBT equality.
What historical outcome would you change?
Ā
Could we keep the end of World War II but get rid of the nuclear bombs? I understand that developing nuclear power was an incredible scientific achievement, but I think we ceded some serious moral ground and touched off an arms race that has only made us fear each other more.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
Ā
I have a very vivid memory of waiting by my stereo for hours just so I could tape the Spice Girlsā āWannabeā off the radio.
On what do you insist?
In the spirit of the holidays, that white Christmas tree lights are vastly superior to multi-colored Christmas tree lights.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
Information about an Out2Enroll event in Philadelphia.Ā #GetCovered.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
āThere and Back Againā
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Make everyone avowedly bisexual ā increase the odds of everyone finding people they love.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?Ā
Not much. Nature is pretty powerful enough as it is.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Celebrate our successes but donāt give up the fight ā weāre not nearly done yet.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
My brotherās safe return from his second deployment in Afghanistan.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
I think all the stereotypes about bisexual people are pretty terrible. And donāt get me started on lesbian bed death or U-hauls.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
I have a huge soft spot for āImagine Me and You.ā Find me a queer person who hasnāt fallen for someone who is straight; at least in this movie, the girl gets the girl. Oh, and āBut Iām a Cheerleader.ā Obviously.
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Men holding doors open for women. Especially when they insist they canāt possibly let you hold it open for them.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Ever since I was little Iāve wanted to be the voice of an animated character in a Disney movie.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That there are much better beers in the world than the stuff we drank in college.
Why Washington?
Ā
Why else?Ā Dream job.
Real Estate
Yes, Virginia, there is down payment assistance
Tax abatement, homestead deductions among options to research
Letās be honest ā the average person in the Washington, D.C. area has not been living under a rock, knows how to Google whatever they are looking for, and probably has plenty of connections in their graduate program, place of employment, or at their family holiday dinner who can help them figure out how to purchase a home.
But there were lessons learned as I was working in real estate, that, otherwise, I wouldnāt have even known to ask about. In other words, āHow do you know what you donāt even know?ā
For example:
- Some lenders can help you find ways to pay off certain amounts of student loan debt before going to settlement. Depends on the jurisdiction you plan to buy in.Ā
- Some down payment assistance loans are available in almost every state. Certain cities and counties have their own versions of this assistance. Some of these programs can be stacked up. Ā
- In D.C., and in many other places, you are required to get a home inspection if you are receiving money from the government to buy a home. That way they arenāt giving you (or lending you) money to buy what Tom Hanks and Shelley Long would call a āMoney Pit.ā (If you havenāt seen that movie, do yourself a solid and watch it.)
- Did you know that certain lending institutions have what are called āDoctorās Loansā for people with higher amounts of student loan debt? Ā
- Some jurisdictions have various types of tax abatement for first-time homebuyers.Ā Ask about topics such as āTax Abatementā and āHomestead Deductions.ā This will reduce your tax bill for a property that is owner occupied, OR delay paying property taxes for a set period of time.Ā
This is by no means an exhaustive list of topics to consider. But it is meant as an idea generator. There could be some programs where you live that would help you find a way to get into homeownership, get out of paying high monthly rents, and start socking away a monthly investment. Is homeownership for everyone? Probably not. But for some people, including many of the clients Iāve worked with, it was an easy way to put a large sum of money away monthly. Eventually that money could become a nest egg for leveling up their housing, taking the money back for other purposes, or just one of the tools in their tool belt of personal wealth building.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
What LGBTQ buyers, sellers need to know about new real estate rules
Regulations are reshaping how transactions are conducted
In recent months, the real estate landscape has undergone significant changes, with new rules and regulations reshaping how transactions are conducted. These changes affect buyers and sellers across the board, but LGBTQ individuals and couples navigating the housing market should be particularly aware of how these updates might impact their decisions and opportunities. At GayRealEstate.com, weāre here to keep you informed and empowered.
1. Transparency in Agent Compensation
One of the most notable changes involves how real estate agents are compensated. New rules aim to increase transparency, requiring agents to clearly disclose their commissions and how they are paid. For LGBTQ buyers and sellers, this means youāll have a better understanding of the financial side of your transaction, making it easier to avoid hidden fees or misunderstandings.
Tip: Make sure your agent explains their compensation structure up front. Working with an LGBTQ-friendly real estate agent through GayRealEstate.com ensures youāre connected with professionals who prioritize clarity and fairness.
2. Contracts Before Home Tours
In some areas, buyers are now required to sign a representation agreement before touring homes. While this adds a layer of formality, it can also help you establish a stronger relationship with your agent and ensure theyāre working in your best interest.
What It Means for LGBTQ Buyers: Choosing an agent who understands your unique needs is critical. Signing a contract ensures that your agent is committed to helping you find a home in a community where youāll feel safe and welcome.
3. New Protections Against Discrimination
Recent policy changes reinforce anti-discrimination measures in housing, which is particularly relevant for LGBTQ individuals. While federal laws like the Fair Housing Act prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, some states have gone further by implementing additional protections.
How to Navigate: Familiarize yourself with your stateās specific laws, and rely on LGBTQ-friendly agents who are committed to advocating for your rights throughout the transaction process.
4. Market Conditions: Buyers vs. Sellers
The current housing market is in flux, with inventory levels, interest rates, and demand varying widely by region. Sellers may face longer listing times, while buyers could encounter more competitive environments in desirable areas.
5. Mortgage Updates for LGBTQ Couples
Lenders are becoming more inclusive in recognizing diverse family structures, but disparities still exist. Itās essential to work with lenders who understand your unique situation and ensure fair treatment during the mortgage process.
Advice: An LGBTQ-friendly agent can connect you with lenders who are sensitive to your needs and knowledgeable about programs that support equal access to home financing.
Why These Changes Matter
The new rules emphasize fairness, transparency, and accountability ā values that align closely with the mission of GayRealEstate.com. However, navigating these changes requires expert guidance, especially for LGBTQ buyers and sellers who may face additional challenges in the market.
Take Action Today
Buying or selling a home is one of the most significant decisions youāll make, and having the right support can make all the difference. At GayRealEstate.com, we connect LGBTQ buyers and sellers with experienced, LGBTQ-friendly agents who are committed to protecting your rights and helping you achieve your goals.
Whether youāre just starting your real estate journey or ready to make your next move, weāre here to help. Visit GayRealEstate.com to find your perfect agent and get started today.
This article is brought to you by GayRealEstate.com, the nationās largest network of LGBTQ-friendly real estate agents.
Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at 303-378-5526.
Real Estate
Your holiday home journey
Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection
Thanksgiving and real estate share an essential theme: the importance of home. It is traditionally a time of gratitude, togetherness, and reflection. While its hallmark symbols may include turkey dinners, family gatherings, and autumnal dƩcor, it also invites us to think deeply about our values and who and what we hold dear.
For some people, the family home connotes a place of safety, comfort, and community. For others, visiting with family over the holiday can be a contentious and stressful ordeal best avoided. Countless of my friends have severed toxic relationships that can rival an exploding, deep-fried turkey. They have opted instead for dining out or hosting a gathering of food and football with like-minded people.
During Thanksgiving, the idea of āhomeā becomes particularly poignant. It is more than just a physical structure; itās where people gather, memories are made, and traditions are passed down. For those involved in real estate ā whether as professionals or as individuals embroiled in the market ā this emotional dimension of home is a driving force.
When buying a house, itās not just about square footage or the number of bedrooms. It’s about envisioning a Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room, imagining children playing in the backyard, or hosting friends in the cozy living space. Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection, stability, and legacy ā values closely tied to the spirit of Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving falls in the quieter part of the real estate calendar, with spring and summer being the traditionally hot seasons for buying and selling. Yet, for those who choose to list their homes in November, the holiday offers unique opportunities. Sellers can use Thanksgivingās warm, inviting atmosphere to their advantage, staging homes with seasonal touches like autumn wreaths, a cornucopia of fruits and nuts, the sparkle of a dining room chandelier, and the scent of freshly baked pies.
A well-decorated home during this time can evoke an emotional connection with potential buyers. A cozy environment can help them imagine spending their future holidays in that very space. Additionally, homes listed during the Thanksgiving season often face less competition, as fewer properties are on the market. This can lead to more serious offers from motivated buyers.
For buyers, Thanksgiving can function as a reminder of why they are on the hunt for a new home in the first place. Perhaps they are looking for a bigger space for a growing family. They may be downsizing to retire or to simplify life. They might be looking for home to accommodate both children and aging parents simultaneously. The holiday season underscores the importance of finding a home that aligns with lifestyle needs and future goals.
In our tight real estate market, buyers still face challenges such as limited inventory and higher interest rates; however, Thanksgiving encourages a shift in perspective. Itās a time to focus on gratitude for what is within reach ā whether itās finding a starter home, securing a dream property, or taking incremental steps toward long-term, financial goals.
Interestingly, Thanksgiving weekend has become an increasingly popular time for real estate research. Families can gather around the table and begin discussing the future, including moving to a new city, upgrading their home, or purchasing an investment property. Digital tools like web searches and virtual tours can help buyers and sellers stay connected to the real estate market without disrupting their Thanksgiving traditions.
Whether you are buying or selling, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity to reflect on the role of gratitude in real estate. For buyers, itās about being thankful for the chance to find a home that meets their needs, even if the journey is challenging. For sellers, itās a moment to appreciate the memories made in a home while looking forward to new opportunities.
For real estate agents and other industry professionals, Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude to clients and colleagues, build stronger relationships, and highlight the human aspect of a business often driven by transactions alone.
If you are staying put this Thanksgiving, you have a chance to celebrate your current home, no matter its size or condition. Simple gestures like decorating with fall colors, rearranging furniture for a cozy feel, or preparing a special meal can deepen your connection to your space. Inviting neighbors, friends, or family to share in the festivities can reinforce the sense of community that makes a house a home.
Whether itās the home you currently have, the one youāre searching for, or the one you are leaving behind, each holds a unique place in your life story. Take stock of the journey so far, recognize the progress made, and look forward to the possibilities ahead.
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