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Lifting the veil on Sally Ride’s private life

Moving bio reveals astronaut didn’t want to be defined by gay label

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Sally Ride, gay news, Washington Blade
Sally Ride, gay news, Washington Blade

Astronaut Sally Ride (Photo public domain)

Labels are for bottles, not people, according to the popular aphorism. I’ve been thinking of this while reading “Sally Ride: America’s First Woman in Space,” by writer and former ABC News correspondent Lynn Sherr, just out from Simon & Schuster. As this engrossing, moving biography reveals, neither Ride nor her partner of 27 years, Tam O’Shaughnessy, liked labels.  Especially, about their sexual orientation or same-sex relationship.

“She didn’t want to be defined by the lesbian/gay label …we both didn’t like categories,” Sherr writes that O’Shaughnessy told her.

Like many of us, LGBT and straight, I was sad to learn on July 23, 2012 that Ride, the first American woman to fly in space, had died of pancreatic cancer. Growing up, starry-eyed, watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon, cheering when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs and embracing the women’s movement, I didn’t think girls could be astronauts. Ride’s historic 1983 space flight was thrilling to women of all generations.

“Millions of little girls are going to sit by their television sets and see that they can be astronauts, heroes, explorers and scientists,” Gloria Steinem said at the time.

As Sherr’s biography engagingly shows, Ride was so multi-faceted in her talents and interests that she was almost, to use Duke Ellington’s dictum, “beyond category.” Ride was an astrophysicist who studied Shakespeare, an athlete (who joked that her horrible “forehand” kept her from becoming a professional tennis player), educator, and, with O’Shaughnessy, a children’s book writer. She was a serious scientist who was most comfortable in academia. After the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, Ride was part of the commission established to investigate the accident.

“As a retired astronaut, she did research on arms control,” Sherr writes, “… she championed programs to advance the status of women and fought against stereotypes that dampened children’s dreams, barriers to success that had never stopped her.”

When I was in school, science was creepy – a bunch of (mainly male) teachers saying boring, incomprehensible things. Ride and O’Shaughnessy, through their company Sally Ride Science, worked to change this dreary image of science. Ride wanted children to know that “science is cool,” Sherr writes.

Though Ride was an intensely private person, she loved talking with kids about going to the bathroom in outer space. When a child asked Ride if the food that she ate in space was gross, she replied, “No! We had peanut butter.”

Like many in the LGBT community and in the wider culture, I was surprised and saddened to learn only after her death that Ride had been in a same-sex relationship for more than two decades. I didn’t judge her for not being open about her sexuality or her relationship with O’Shaughnessy. I thought then, as I do now, that deciding to come out, even as marriage equality increasingly becomes a reality, is still a personal, and often, difficult, decision. Homosexuality was considered to be a mental illness until 1973, and it’s doubtful that NASA would have accepted an openly LGBT astronaut.

“She was just a private person who wanted to do things her way. She hated labels (including hero),” Ride’s sister Bear told the Associated Press at the time of her death.

Few beyond a small, extremely close-knit circle knew of Ride and O’Shaughnessy’s relationship. Even, Sherr, a friend of Ride’s, didn’t know that Ride and O’Shaughnessy were a same-sex couple. Though not a hagiography in any sense of the word, Sherr wrote this book because O’Shaughnessy wanted it to be written. O’Shaughnessy decided “that it was time for a proper biography,” Sherr writes. “That the obituaries didn’t capture the richness or the nuance of her life … that in the interest of honesty it was time to lift the veil of privacy Sally had guarded so tenaciously.”

Many thanks, Tam, for lifting the veil. And thanks to Sherr for illuminating a legendary life in all its rich complexity.

Kathi Wolfe, a writer and poet, is a regular contributor to the Blade.

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Opinions

DC To Host 1st National TDOV Gala on Easter Sunday

Trans USA National Pageantry and the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) will host the 1st Annual Blossom Gala at Hook Hall.

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The first International Trans Day of Visibility (TDOV) celebration was held 15 years ago, with the goal of addressing the major concern that the only well-known trans-centered day was the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which mourned the murders of transgender people but did not acknowledge and celebrate living members of the transgender community. On March 31, Trans USA National Pageantry and the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) will host the 1st Annual Blossom Gala at Hook Hall, which will serve as the culminating event of their TDOV programming in Washington, DC. 

Dylan Drobish (also known as Dylan B. Dickherson White), National Director at Trans USA, offered the following: “It is our hope that Blossom will serve as a reminder not just of the battle we face every day but also of the beauty, excellence, intellect, and resilience of transgender Americans. We believe that this event is especially important given the increased backlash and violence against our community in the last few years alone, with nearly 500 anti-trans bills under consideration across 41 states as of March. However, Blossom—and TDOV itself—is a celebration held in defiance of the idea that trans lives are only worthy of headlines once they have ended.”

Preceded by an impactful, inspiring rally at the national mall (11:00 AM to 3:00 PM) featuring Angelica Ross of Pose and AHSBlossom is a fundraising initiative that blends keynote speakers, a Q&A panel discussion with national leaders in the movement for transgender equality, and the artistry of drag with CHERRY BOMB–an all-trans drag showcase headlined by trans icon, activist, and Drag Race pioneer Monica Beverly Hillz. This pivotal event will also serve as the official public launch of the TRANSform the Vote initiative, which aims to inspire transgender people and allies to make their voices heard at the ballot box.

But make no mistake. Blossom is a celebration, and the event organizers have pulled out all the stops to ensure that ticket prices remain accessible without sacrificing the magic of a true gala experience. For truly gram-worthy “pink carpet” photos, all attendees are invited to “dress to impress” with their interpretation of a timely theme that celebrates the beauty of coming into one’s own as a visible member of the trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming community.  

The event comes at a pivotal time for both the community and the organizations seeking to protect it: This summer, NCTE will officially merge with Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) to create Advocates for Trans Equality, doubling their ability to lead the next chapter of the transgender rights movement. This November, Trans USA will welcome over 80 representatives from across the country to their national competition, which will for the first time also feature a national conference and exposition solely focused on the trans and non-binary community. While monumental, these 2024 events come with unprecedented challenges, as many major corporations and grant programs refuse to provide funding related to “controversial social or political issues”, especially in an election year. 

Despite these challenges, celebratory events like Blossom are, unsurprisingly, now more important than ever, with trans lives having been politicized to such a polarizing extent. Drobish, a former Mr. Trans USA himself offered the following: 

“‘Narrative identity’ refers to the idea that our identities are formed from the internal stories we tell about ourselves (and our interpretation of them). Organizations like Trans USA and NCTE are here to help rewrite the narrative that gets passed down to the next generation of trans and non-binary folks. My message to anyone involved with Trans USA or the movement in general has always been that you are the author of your story—the story that gives your life meaning and purpose—and you get to choose how it’s told. Are you the hero or the victim? Are you the agent or the object? Are you the one telling your story, or is someone else doing all the talking? It’s 2024, and it’s time to take the pen back. Because true visibility isn’t about being seen; it’s about making others feel seen. Seen enough to BLOSSOM.” 

Tickets for the Blossom gala start at just $15, but VIP guests ($100) will receive access to a premium open bar from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM, light hors d’oeuvres, and prime seating, in addition to the 20-entertainer showcase with a Drag Race headliner! While doors open at 4:30 PM for the event, advance purchase online is strongly recommended by the organizers, as only a limited number of these VIP tickets are available.

-Dylan Drobish (National Director, Trans USA National Pageantry; Mr. Trans USA 2022, Mr. Freddie’s 2019

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Opinions

Attacking Jews is latest Trump outrage

Anyone who supports equality and peace must vote for Biden

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(Washington Blade file photo by Christopher Kane)

Calling out the Jewish community in the United States as Trump did, is both dumb, and anti-Semitic. The Jewish community has been a Democratic constituency for many years, and attacking them won’t get them to vote for him.

It is a difficult time for many Jews in the world today. I being one of them. I am a strong supporter of Israel, but support Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), who believes there will never be peace in the Middle East as long as Netanyahu and his government are in control. Israel cannot keep annexing West Bank land, which should be part of a Palestinian state if we can get to a two-state solution. In fact, they must draw back the settlements now there. At the same time, like Schumer, I believe both Netanyahu and Hamas have to go. Being anti-Netanyahu is not being anti-Israel, just as being anti-Trump is not being anti-United States, or wanting Hamas to go, is not being anti-Palestinian. 

Attacking Jews is just one more outrageous thing coming out of Trump’s mouth. He is a notorious sexist, racist, homophobic, pig. He is an old man who can’t control his mouth and continues to spout nonsense. His apparently limited brain power is tied up in disgusting views of the world and individuals. He mocks those with disabilities like he did to a New York Times reporter, and mocks President Biden for his stutter. There was a recent column in the Washington Post reminding people Trump’s father had Alzheimer’s. I think we may be seeing the disease manifest itself in Trump. 

I have written this election is between two older men. I myself am older, and understand one often forgets a name, a date, or an event. Having just written a memoir, which I hope will be published in May, in its preface I say “these are dates and events as I remember them.” But as neuroscientist Charan Ranganath recently wrote in the Washington Post, that in no way limits how a person can understand complex issues, or in my case work as a consultant and research and write weekly columns. For a president, especially one who is older, it is important for us to know who is surrounding him or her. I am definitely more secure knowing those who will be around and advising President Biden, versus those around Trump. No one person alone, whatever their age, can handle all the issues facing a president.

Whether you are a Jew supporting Israel, a Muslim supporting the Palestinian people, or someone like me supporting both, you are better off with President Biden. If you support the Palestinian people having their freedom, then Trump must strike fear in your heart, after all, he is the one who moved the American embassy to Jerusalem. 

The idea of electing a man convicted of fraud in his business dealings, found liable for sexually mistreating a woman, and who faces another 88 criminal counts, is ludicrous. It actually says as much about the people who would vote for him, as it does about Trump. A man who brags about taking away the right of women to control their own body, and healthcare, doesn’t deserve the vote of any woman. A man who opposes equal rights, affirmative action, and saw good people on both sides in Charlottesville, doesn’t deserve the vote of any Black American. A man who opposes any forgiveness of student loans, denies climate change, opposes making community college free, doesn’t deserve the vote of any young person. 

It amazes me when people compare how things were four years ago to today, and say they were better then. A time you couldn’t find toilet paper on grocery shelves, 1,000 people a day were dying of COVID, the Dow Jones was at 19,000 and today it’s at 39,000. The country was hemorrhaging jobs and in the last three years 13 million have been created. Wages are higher and unemployment lower. 

Of course, as President Biden says, we need to do more. He is doing it, Trump didn’t. Trump gave a $2 trillion tax cut to the wealthy, increasing the national debt. He pledges to do it again. Biden passed a massive infrastructure bill, now creating thousands of jobs building and repairing bridges and roads, in every state. He passed the Chips and Science Act, recently announcing new chip factories in four states, creating thousands of new construction and manufacturing jobs. Those factories will change the U.S. from an importing country, to a producing one. That is some of the real change Biden has brought about. 

Trump talks big, but never produced; Biden is producing for the American people, and will continue to do so.

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

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Letter-to-the-Editor

Banning the Rainbow Flag: the latest act of GOP madness

Prohibition included in government spending bill the president signed

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The Progress Pride flag flies in front of the U.S. Embassy in Berlin on July 22, 2022. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

The Republican agenda is an obvious one: Distract from real issues by assaulting the most vulnerable. That’s why they have focused their hatred on the LGBTQ+ community. After years of legislating book bans, curriculum censorship, bathroom restrictions and withholding medically needed gender therapy, their latest act is signature Republican cruelty: For a crucial trillion-dollar budget that would prevent a government shutdown, the GOP slipped in a measure to ban the display of Rainbow Flags at U.S. embassies all over the world.

This is not an act of mere symbolism. In too many countries, being queer is punishable by imprisonment or death. Measures like this give a green light to violence and homophobia both at home and abroad. It places more LGBTQ+ people at tangible risk. It is an outrageous abuse of the political process.

This cynical political maneuver is typical of the GOP, the Party of Destruction. But equally egregious is that President Biden and Democrats approved the budget, knowing the poison pill line item that had already been added.

Now, President Biden vows to repeal the embassy flag ban measure. We will hold him to his vow. Will he expend the political capital necessary to make the repeal happens? We must remember that he and the Congress capitulated to a small group of GOP manipulators and, in this instance, saw the global LGBTQ+ community as expendable.

The Democratic Party positions itself as an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. They must hold their ground. They must represent and defend all of us. Otherwise, an emboldened GOP, led by Trump, will only escalate their merciless attacks on our vulnerable communities.”

Charles Beal is president of the Gilbert Baker Foundation and the Save the Rainbow Flag Campaign.

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