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Local gay coaches find support from students, parents

‘Building trust holds the relationship together’

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Brendan Roddy, coaches, gay news, Washington Blade
Brendan Roddy, gay coaches, gay news, Washington Blade

Brendan Roddy began coaching swimming at age 14 and currently coaches at an area high school. (Washington Blade photo by Kevin Majoros)

With the LGBT sports movement receiving more national media attention over the past several years, there have been multiple headlines about coaches coming out as gay to their teams. Some of the names that have made the news are high school basketball coach Anthony Nicodemo in Philadelphia and high school track coach Micah Porter of Denver.

In the D.C. metro area, there are a number of LGBT coaches who have been instructing straight athletes for years, even decades. When asked what the obstacles have been for them, the answers offer some surprises.

The relationship between a coach and an athlete is a special one and often the coach becomes a surrogate parent to the athlete and a good friend to the athlete’s family. The announcements of the above mentioned coaches certainly prompted many to wonder if the relationship between a coach and an athlete is different if a gay coach is instructing a group of straight athletes.

Brendan Roddy began swimming competitively at age 11 and continued to do so through college at Salisbury State University. As a 14-year-old he became a junior swim coach for Rockville Montgomery Swim Club and then coached at Salisbury State University during grad school.

After returning to the area as a teacher at Churchill High School, Roddy realized he missed coaching and became the swimming and diving coach at the high school.

“Parents that are ‘with it’ caught on quickly that I was gay,” says Roddy. “The others figured it out eventually. The kids would generally test the waters with pronouns when asking about my personal life. If they asked directly, I would tell them.”

Roddy says that his sexual orientation rarely comes up in conversations with his athletes or their parents and it has never stood in the way of his coaching.

“Building a level of trust and respect is what holds the athlete/coach relationship together,” says Roddy. “It is amazing how much kids have evolved over the past decade. The smiles on their faces are what keeps me in it.”

Jeff Nolt began his figure skating career in New York and as it progressed, trained in Pennsylvania and Delaware. In the early 1980s, he qualified for nationals as a pairs team with his sister Susan. Following their retirement from competitive skating, they performed in the Ice Capades for two years.

Nolt started coaching in Syracuse and eventually his work brought him to the Baltimore/Washington area. His students range in age from six to 60.

“The parents of my students trust who I am and there is no fear of me being gay,” Nolt says.  “The bottom line is that I get paid to teach people how to skate choreographically and technically correct. Kids can smell you a mile away; if you are unprepared and have doubts about yourself, the respect and trust will never come.”

He adds, “I like being a mentor. It is exciting to know that I can have an impact on someone’s life and it is important for me to give back what I have learned.”

Sami Holtz grew up in Montgomery County and began competing in soccer and swimming at age eight. She eventually changed over to softball and took on rugby during her college years at Johnson and Wales and Springfield College. She also played full-contact football in the Independent Women’s Football League.

She began coaching swimming in New England, which led to a coaching position in the Montgomery County Swim League in 2007. She is now coaching swimming at Forest Knolls and the Silver Spring YMCA.

“In the community I work in, nobody cares that I am gay,” says Holtz. “The only discrimination I have encountered was related to my religious beliefs.”

Holtz says that one of her swimmers has two moms and another teenage swimmer recently came out as gay.

“His mother thought it would be nice if we connected at Capital Pride this past June,” Holtz says laughing.

Akil Patterson was a three-sport, all-state athlete during his years at Frederick High School and went on to play football at the University of Maryland. He left the Terps and played two years at California University of Pennsylvania.

He later played for the United Indoor Football League. After an Arena Football tryout his weight ballooned to 380 pounds and he ended up back on the University of Maryland campus where a wrestling coach asked him to work with their heavyweights.

He went on to become a coach with the Terps wrestling program and the Terrapin Wresting Club (TWC).  The TWC provides training and competitive opportunities for the wrestling community and for post-collegiate wrestlers who have international aspirations. They are an official Regional Olympic Training Center of USA Wrestling.

Patterson coaches athletes who range in age from 13 to 22 and says that his sexual orientation is also a non-issue.

“I know that some people trash talk me behind my back for being gay, but I am not ashamed and I am not shy,” says Patterson. “Anyone that knows me knows that I am all about the athletes.  I love my kids.”

Patterson has developed trusting and respectful relationships with his athletes and their families over the years. He has been asked by parents to step in when their children are not doing well in school.

“I have an athlete whose father is with the U.S. Marshals and he volunteered to speak at diversity training for the Marshals,” says Patterson. “When he stepped up to the microphone he simply stated; my son loves his coach and my son looks up to his coach.”

Patterson adds, “I believe that one’s sexuality transcends sports.”

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Movies

‘Pillion’ director on bikers, BDSM, and importance of being seen

‘We put a lot of thought and effort into how we depicted the community’

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Alexander Skarsgård and Harry Melling star in ‘Pillion.’

One of the highlights of last week’s Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend came not on the dance floor, but in a movie theater. In a new partnership, the independent film studio A24 brought its leather-clad new film “Pillion” — not yet in wide release — to D.C. for special showings for the MAL crowd.

“Pillion,” a term for the motorcycle passenger seated behind the driver, delves into the complicated relationship between an introverted, quiet Londoner Colin (Harry Melling) who embarks on a journey finding himself while entering into a sub relationship with a new Dom named Ray (Alexander Skarsgård) he meets during Christmas. 

It’s writer-director Harry Lighton’s feature-length debut, sharing Skarsgård’s impossibly toned physique with both Colin and audiences, and offering an eye into the BDSM community by an LGBTQ director for the general public. This from a studio that also just released a movie about ping-pong starring Timothée Chalamet.  

The Washington Blade was able to catch a screening at Regal Gallery Place on Jan. 18, hosted by MAL and Gary Wasdin, executive director, Leather Archives & Museum. The Blade also had a chance to interview Lighton about the experience.

Blade: How did you get involved in this film, especially as this is your directorial debut?

Lighton: I was sent “Box Hill,” the novel on which “Pillion” is based, by Eva Yates (the head of film at the BBC). I’d spent years working on a sumo film set in Japan, and then suddenly that became impossible due to the pandemic so I was miserable. And then I read this book that I found bracing, funny, moving. All the good things. 

Blade: Are you involved with the leather community? Did you draw on any personal experiences or make connections with the community? 

Lighton: I’m involved in the wrestling scene but not the leather community. So I spent lots of time with people who are [in the community] during the writing process, and then ended up casting a bunch of them as bikers and pillions in the film. They were incredibly generous to myself, Harry, and Alex with their knowledge and experiences. We have them to thank for lending credibility to the world on screen.

Blade:  What kind of reception have you received at film festivals and with the LGBTQ community? Was it what you imagined?

Lighton: Obviously not everyone’s going to like the film — for some people it’ll be too explicit, for some not explicit enough; some people will feel seen, some won’t. But the general reaction’s been extremely positive so far. If I’m honest I thought it would divide opinion more.   

Blade: How was it working with the actors?

Lighton:  I had a lot of respect for both of them going in, and wondered if that might make me a bit too deferential, a bit too Colin-coded. But besides being extremely talented, they’re both lovely. And committed. And fun! With my shorts I always felt a bit out of my depth working with actors, but here I discovered a real love for it.  

Blade: Turning to the plot, the parents are pretty supportive, especially Colin’s dad. How did you decide to draw his parents? What does it mean to show parents with nuanced viewpoints?

Lighton:  I wanted to reverse the typical parent-child dynamic in queer film, where parents go from rejecting to accepting their queer kid. We meet Colin’s parents actively pushing him toward a gay relationship. But when the relationship he lands on doesn’t meet her definition of healthy, his mum withdraws her acceptance. I wanted to ask: Are they projecting their romantic model onto their son, or do they have a legitimate concern for his wellbeing with Ray?

Blade: How did you decide to place the setting?

Lighton: Practically, we needed somewhere within reach of London. But I liked the idea that Colin, who lives life on the periphery, grew up on the edge of the capital. One of our producers, Lee Groombridge, grew up in and around Bromley and showed me all the spots. I loved the atmosphere on the high street, the markets, and the contrast between the high street and the idyllic park. And I thought it would be a funny place for Alexander Skarsgård to have settled.

Blade: What do you hope audiences take away from the film? 

Lighton: There’s no one message. Different people will take different things from it. Personally, Colin inspires me to jump off cliffs, to push beyond my comfort zone because that’s where life begins. From Ray I get the courage to be ugly, to fly in the face of social convention if it doesn’t make you happy or it’s not built for you. 

Blade: Talk about the soundtrack — especially the Tiffany “I Think We’re Alone Now” song.

Lighton: Skarsgård’s Ray has the surface masc-ness that comes with looking like a Viking. I wanted to combine that with details that indicate he’s been a part of gay culture and “I Think We’re Alone Now” is nothing if not a camp classic.  

Blade: What does it mean to you to show the film at MAL?

Lighton: When I told the bikers from the film I was coming to MAL they practically wet themselves with excitement. We put a lot of thought and effort into how we depicted the community in the film and there’s so much variety, no two Masters or subs are the same, but seeing a theater full of men in leather laugh, cry, and clap for the film meant the world.

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Alexander Skarsgård describes ‘Pillion’ in 3 words: lube, sweat, leather

Highly anticipated film a refreshingly loving look at Dom-sub life

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Harry Melling and Alexander Skarsgård star in ‘Pillion,’ which premieres in the U.S. on Feb. 6. (Photo courtesy of A24)

Whether you’ve seen him in popular HBO series like “True Blood,” “Succession,” and “Big Little Lies,” the dynamic Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgård has that smoldering gaze that immediately draws viewers in. 

Following in the footsteps of his father Stellan, (who just won the Golden Globe for “Sentimental Value”) the Golden Globe, Emmy, and SAG winner Skarsgård continues to be an actor who is fearless in the roles he takes on. 

That courageousness is evident in Skarsgård’s latest film, the BDSM black comedy “Pillion,”which he also executive produces. He plays Ray, the handsome, hyper-dominant leader of a gay bike gang. The film was written and directed by Harry Lighton, and is based on the 2020 novel “Box Hill,” by Adam Mars-Jones. 

“This was a small film by a first time filmmaker and it wasn’t financed when I read it,”  Skarsgård told journalists at a recent awards news conference. “And I felt that, if I could help in any small way of getting it financed, I wanted to, because I thought it was such an incredible screenplay and I believe in Harry Lighton so much as a filmmaker. And it felt tonally unlike anything I’d ever read. It was such an exciting, surprising read.”

Skarsgård was blown away by the quality of the unconventional script. “When I heard BDSM relationship, biker culture, I expected something very different. I didn’t expect it to have so much sweetness and tenderness and awkwardness.”

For the sex scenes and nudity with co-star, Harry Melling — who excels in his portrayal as Ray’s submissive Colin — Skarsgård talked very early on with Lighton about how he wanted to shoot those scenes, and why they were in the film. 

“I often find sex scenes quite boring in movies because a lot of the tension is in the drama leading up to two people hooking up, or several people hooking up, as in our movie. But what I really enjoyed about these scenes — they are all pivotal moments in Colin’s journey and his development. It’s the first time he gets a blowjob. It’s the first time he has sex. It’s the first time he has an orgasm. And these are pivotal moments for him, so they mean a lot. And that made those scenes impactful and important.” 

Skarsgård was happy that Lighton’s script didn’t have gratuitous scenes that shock for the sake of just shocking. “I really appreciated that because I find that when this subculture is portrayed, it’s often dangerous and crazy and wild and something like transgressive.”

He continued: “I really love that Harry wanted it to feel real. It can be sexy and intense, but also quite loving and sweet. And you can have an orgy in the woods, rub up against a Sunday roast with the family. And that kind of feels real.”

One of the obstacles Skarsgård had to work with was Ray’s emotionally distant personality.

“Ray is so enigmatic throughout the film and you obviously never find out anything about him, his past. He doesn’t reveal much. He doesn’t expose himself. And that was a challenge to try to make the character interesting, because that could easily feel quite flat…That was something that I thought quite a lot about in pre production…there are no big dramatic shifts in his arc.”

For the film, Lighton consulted the GMBCC, the UK’s largest LGBT+ biker club, attending their annual meetup at which 80 riders were present. 

“Working with these guys was extraordinary and it brought so much texture and richness to the film to have them present,” said Skarsgård. “They were incredibly sweet and guiding with us — I can’t imagine making this movie without them. I’d go on a road trip with them anytime.”

Added Skarsgård: “To sum up ‘Pillion’ in three words: lube, sweat, and leather. I hope people will connect with Colin and his journey, and come to understand the nuance and complexity of his bond with Ray.”

This year is shaping up to be a busy one for Skarsgård. “Pillion” premieres in select cities on Feb. 6 and then moves into wide release on Feb. 20. After that for Skarsgård is a role in queer ally Charli XCX’s mockumentary, “The Moment,” which premieres at the Sundance Film Festival. HIs sci-fi comedy series,  Apple TV’s “Murderbot,” which he also executive produces, will begin filming its second season. And this weekend, he hosts “Saturday Night Live.”

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PHOTOS: SMYAL for the New Year

LGBTQ youth services organization holds annual fundraiser

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From left, SMYAL Executive Director Erin Whelan and journalist Ari Shapiro attend SMYAL for the New Year at Shakiki on Thursday, Jan. 22. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The LGBTQ youth services organization SMYAL held its annual fundraiser, ‘SMYAL for the New Year,’ at Shakiki (2012 9th Street, N.W.) on Thursday, Jan. 22.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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