‘One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman’
By Abi Maxwell
c.2024, Knopf
$28/307 pages

“How many times have I told you that…?”

How many times have you heard that? Probably so often that, well, you stopped listening. From your mother, when you were very small. From your teachers in school. From your supervisor, significant other, or best friend. As in the new memoir “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman” by Abi Maxwell, it came from a daughter.

When she was pregnant, Abi Maxwell took long walks in the New Hampshire woods near her home, rubbing her belly and talking to her unborn baby. She was sure she was going to have a girl but when the sonogram technician said otherwise, that was OK. Maxwell and her husband would have a son.

But almost from birth, their child was angry, fierce, and unhappy. Just getting dressed each morning was a trial. Going outside was often impossible. Autism was a possible diagnosis but more importantly, Maxwell wasn’t listening, and she admits it with some shame.

Her child had been saying, in so many ways, that she was a girl.

Once Maxwell realized it and acted accordingly, her daughter changed almost overnight, from an angry child to a calm one – though she still, understandably, had outbursts from the bullying behavior of her peers and some adults at school. Nearly every day, Greta (her new name) said she was teased, called by her former name, and told that she was a boy.

Maxwell had fought for special education for Greta, once autism was confirmed. Now she fought for Greta’s rights at school, and sometimes within her own family. The ACLU got involved. State laws were broken. Maxwell reminded anyone who’d listen that the suicide rate for trans kids was frighteningly high. Few in her town seemed to care.

Throughout her life, Maxwell had been in many other states and lived in other cities. New Hampshire used to feel as comforting as a warm blanket but suddenly, she knew they had to get away from it. Her “town that would not protect us.”

When you hold “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” you’ve got more than a memoir in your hands. You’ve also got a white-hot story that seethes with anger and rightful resentment, that wails for a hurt child, and rattles the bars of injustice. And yet, it coos over love of place, but in a confused manner, as if these things don’t belong together.

Author Abi Maxwell is honest with readers, taking full responsibility for not listening to what her preschooler was saying-not-saying, and she lets you see her emotions and her worst points. In the midst of her community-wide fight, she reveals how the discrimination Greta endured affected Maxwell’s marriage and her health – all of which give a reader the sense that they’re not being sold a tall tale. Read this book, and outrage becomes familiar enough that it’s yours, too. Read “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” and share it. This is a book you’ll tell others about.

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“Watercolor Painting with Center Aging” will be on Thursday, Dec. 12 at 12 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. 

In this winter-themed painting class for seniors led by local artist Laya Monarez, guests will learn about watercoloring techniques, be given a demonstration, and allowed to create their own watercolor pieces. There will also be a break for lunch and plenty of snacks throughout. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.

‘Finn’
Through Dec. 22
The Kennedy Center
2700 F St. N.W., Washington, DC 20566
Tickets starting at $22
Kennedy-center.org

Acclaimed children’s television screenwriter and producer Chris Nee is currently making her theater debut at the Kennedy Center with “Finn,” her heartwarming musical about a young shark who dreams of following in his family’s footsteps by joining the prestigious Shark Guard and the challenges and moments of self-discovery he faces along the way. 

Los Angeles-based Nee, who is gay, is best known for being the creator of the hugely popular Disney animated series “Doc McStuffins” (the first Disney show to air an episode featuring an interracial lesbian couple) as well as other kids’ shows “Ridley Jones” and “Vampirina.”  

For “Finn,” Nee (playwright/lyrics) has collaborated with stage and screen songwriters Michael Kooman (music) and Christopher Dimond (playwright/lyrics) who have scored her animated TV shows for seven years.

WASHINGTON BLADE: What’s special about “Finn”? 

CHRIS NEE: “Finn” is a total joy bomb and we can all use that right now. It’s deeply important to me that what I do works both for kids as well as a lot of layers for adults. 

The musical started as a bold show before everything that’s happening in the world right now, and now it’s even more bold.

In the show, we tell the story of a shark who has a very different way of being himself but is also very good at being a shark. It’s very important for us to not predetermine who our kids are and we need to let them find the things that will ultimately bring them joy.

BLADE: And it’s a story you’ve wanted to tell?

NEE: Yes.It’s a coming-of-age story that’s also infused with spectacle. It’s about the beauty of life under the sea, and the beauty of a character who has a wonderful drag sensibility and knows what it is to express himself. The show and the world are really about self-expression and not being afraid to let your inner sparkles out if that’s what feels right to you. 

It relates to anyone in the audience whether they’re an adult who remembers what it was like to hide something, or a young a person who feels that way. I think it gives them the courage to say who they are and live unapologetically.

BLADE: Has this work felt a lot different from TV?

NEE: Making “Finn”with Kooman and Dimond hasbeen agreat collaborative process. Working with them on TV, I was very much the one in control, I’d tell them what we needed a song to be. But in theater, they’ve had more experience in the process. Together we’ve made something that is premiering very quickly in terms of musical theater. We got very lucky. 

BLADE: You’re a big name at Disney.How does working at the Kennedy Center compare to L.A.?

NEE: The Kennedy Center has been wonderful!They commissioned the work in the beginning and have been supporting us throughout. To be honest, there aren’t that many places left that are commissioning new works especially for young audiences, and the Kennedy Center does that.

BLADE: Your son is grown now. Has being a parent affected your work? 

NEE: I spent years in the world making children programming long before I had a child. I had a belief that you don’t have to have kids to be funny. Great writers for kids remember their own childhoods and write for an imagined audience. Once you have a kid, your brain goes into different place. 

Since he was little, I’d play songs for him. I’d tell him stories that were going to be episodes. I have video recordings of him seeing the character designs for the first time, and my getting his reaction to new work.

BLADE: Did his humor influence you?

NEE: I like to think my sense of humor shaped him.

BLADE: Was it a longtime dream to do a live musical?

NEE: I worked in theater for a couple years after graduating from college. I never thought I’d leave theater and New York. But a job on “Sesame Street” led to an unexpected journey to Los Angeles and children’s television.

Kooman and Dimond knew I wanted to find my way back into the theater. I mean, who doesn’t want to write a musical? But I didn’t have the hubris to think I could just jump into that space. But two years ago, they asked me to write a musical with them. I replied “absolutely!”  And here I am.