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QUEERY: Dan Milliken

The local improv actor answers 20 gay questions

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Dan Milliken, gay news, Washington Blade

Dan Milliken (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Dan Milliken was tired of the same straight, white, male voices in improv he was used to seeing in standup comedy. But he knew a handful of gay performers in other troupes and decided to see if they’d be interested in joining him in something queerer.

“Happily, they agreed,” Milliken says. “It felt fresh and sort of disruptive to throw a bunch of uppity queers together and see what havoc we might wreak.”

Their group, dubbed simply Ugh, will perform at the fourth annual District Improv Festival which runs Nov. 9-12 at Source (1835 14th St., N.W.) and Unified Scene Theater (80 T St., N.W.). Admission ranges from free to $15 for various events. Full details at districtimprov.org. Local talent as well as groups from as far away as Phoenix and Toronto will appear.

For the festival, Ugh plans a brief, informal interview with a random audience member followed by a wholly improvised set of scenes inspired by whatever comes up in the interview.

Milliken loves the format because it invariably “comes out kind of loose and goofy, but with these moments of uncalculated honesty.”

“At its best, you get to see the real human experience but filtered through this lens of joy and levity,” the 27-year-old Bethesda, Md., native says. “I love that.”

Milliken works by day as a server and bartender at Commissary. He’s single and lives in Logan Circle. He enjoys performing, teaching and directing comedy and theater, songwriting, hiking, camping and “drinking on patios” in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I came out during my junior year of college, a little over six years ago. As trite as it might sound, I think the hardest person to tell was actually myself. I grew up very religious, and fell sway to the message of “reparative therapy” — that I could rewire my same-sex attractions if only I bonded more with my father, got interested in sports, stopped hanging out with so many theater girls, etc. Once I untangled that whole mess, though, telling everyone else was a breeze.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Aaron Schock. Hey gurl! In seriousness, I’ll say Katya Zamolochidkova, the drag queen. She’s a hilarious weirdo who approaches her work with intelligence and joy. I also admire how she consistently churns out great web content. Yaaass, enterprising queen.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

For a sit-and-talk night, I love good ole’ Saloon on U Street. If I’m trying to be gay in public, Town, especially the CTRL party every month.

Describe your dream wedding.

We get married in a big, unnecessary treehouse somewhere in Hawaii. Everyone in the wedding party roller-skates down the aisle. Our ring-bearers are Roy and Silo, those two penguins from the Central Park Zoo who used to be a gay couple but broke up to be with lady penguins, but they’re obviously going to get drunk and hook up again at this wedding. Also, Sia is there.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Feminism. Humankind has treated certain types of people unequally for so long that we’re still struggling to do anything else. But we need to keep working actively on that, because our species is so much better off when everyone can achieve their full potential and contribute.

What historical outcome would you change?

The entire formation process of the Bible. I have no animosity toward religious faith; I just think the Bible was a case of some timeless wisdom getting smushed together with some very time-specific cultural commentary and straight-up folklore, and it all being marketed as literal, inerrant truth. It’s been used as a justification to treat other people horribly throughout history.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

“Mean Girls.” For my generation, it’s reached the point where you basically can’t participate in society if you haven’t seen it.

On what do you insist?

Humor, humility and respect.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Twitter: “My given name is Daniel, but you can call me ‘Nasty Woman.’”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Oh Hey You Guyyys”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I’d turn straight, quit my job and start a new life in Santa Fe. There, I’d romance a female accounts executive, knock her up just to satisfy my petty biological drive to copy myself and bide my time until she came to term at which point I’d turn gay again, kidnap the baby and run away with a muscle-bound biker daddy, leaving the traumatized mother of my child alone in our sham home, weeping bitter tears and plotting revenge.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Don’t demonize your enemies; understand them. If you want to change hearts and minds, you have to speak to people where they are. Listen and learn where people are coming from, then build a bridge to there.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

More Instagram followers. Eww, I hate me.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Not really a stereotype, but I think a lot of the general public is still “skeptical” of bisexuality. Kinsey up, bitches.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

You mean aside from Sean Cody? I’ll say “Beautiful Thing.” It feels both lifelike and fairy tale-like, and it was formative for Tween Dan. I read an embarrassing amount of Jamie/Ste fanfiction back in the day.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Drinking alcohol at, like, every event. (…Because I wish we smoked weed sometimes instead.)

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

An audience. I try to create work that satisfies me first and foremost, but I also want what I do to connect with people — to excite them, delight them, resonate with them, scratch itches for them. There’s no greater validation and it makes art feel like less of a selfish endeavor.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

More gay people.

Why Washington?

It looks good in a suit, it follows the news and it lets you down gently because it knows it’s going to keep running into you at Bear Happy Hour.

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Rodriquez scores historic win at otherwise irrelevant Golden Globes

Award represents a major milestone for trans visibility

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Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, on right, and Billy Porter in 'Pose.' (Photo courtesy of FX)

HOLLYWOOD – Despite its continuing status as something of a pariah organization in Hollywood, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has managed to cling to relevance in the wake of last night’s behind-closed-doors presentation of its 79th Annual Golden Globe Awards by sole virtue of having bestowed the prize for “Best Leading Actress in a Television Series – Drama” on Michaela Jaé Rodriguez for her work in the final season of “Pose” – making her the first transgender performer to win a Golden Globe.

The ceremony took place as a private, no-press-or-audience event in which winners were revealed via a series of tweets from the Golden Globes Twitter account. No celebrities were present (not even the nominees or winners), although actress Jamie Lee Curtis participated by appearing in a video in which she pronounced her continuing loyalty to the HFPA – without mention of the  longstanding issues around diversity and ethical practices, revealed early in 2021 by a bombshell Los Angeles Times report, that have led to an nearly industry-wide boycott of the organization and its awards as well as the cancellation of the annual Golden Globes broadcast by NBC for the foreseeable future.

While the Golden Globes may have lost their luster for the time being, the award for Rodriquez represents a major milestone for trans visibility and inclusion in the traditionally transphobic entertainment industry, and for her part, the actress responded to news of her win with characteristic grace and good will.

Posting on her Instagram account, the 31-year old actress said: 

“OMG OMGGG!!!! @goldenglobes Wow! You talking about sickening birthday present! Thank you!

“This is the door that is going to Open the door for many more young talented individuals. They will see that it is more than possible. They will see that a young Black Latina girl from Newark New Jersey who had a dream, to change the minds others would WITH LOVE. LOVE WINS.

“To my young LGBTQAI babies WE ARE HERE the door is now open now reach the stars!!!!!”

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As You Are Bar and the importance of queer gathering spaces

New bar/restaurant poised to open in 2022

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As You Are Bar had a pop-up venue at Capital Pride's "Colorful Fest" block party in October. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

More than just a watering hole: As You Are Bar is set to be the city’s newest queer gathering place where patrons can spill tea over late-morning cappuccinos as easily as they can over late-night vodka-sodas.

Co-owners and founders Jo McDaniel and Rachel Pike built on their extensive experience in the hospitality industry – including stints at several gay bars – to sign a lease for their new concept in Barracks Row, replacing what was previously District Soul Food and Banana Café. In a prime corner spot, they are seeking to bring together the disparate colors of the LGBTQ rainbow – but first must navigate the approval process (more on that later).

The duo decided on this Southeast neighborhood locale to increase accessibility for “the marginalized parts of our community,” they say, “bringing out the intersectionality inherent in the queer space.”

Northwest D.C., they explain, not only already has many gay bar options, but is also more difficult to get to for those who don’t live within walking distance. The Barracks Row location is right by a Metro stop, “reducing pay walls.” Plus, there, “we are able to find a neighborhood to bring in a queer presence that doesn’t exist today.”

McDaniel points out that the area has a deep queer bar history. Western bar Remington’s was once located in the area, and it’s a mere block from the former Phase 1, the longest-running lesbian bar, which was open from 1971-2015.

McDaniel and Pike hope that As You Are Bar will be an inclusive space that “welcomes anyone of any walk of life that will support, love, and celebrate the mission of queer culture. We want people of all ages, gender, sexual identity, as well as drinkers and non-drinkers, to have space.”

McDaniel (she/her) began her career at Apex in 2005 and was most recently the opening manager of ALOHO. Pike (she/they) was behind the bar and worked as security at ALOHO, where the two met.

Since leaving ALOHO earlier this year, they have pursued the As You Are Bar project, first by hosting virtual events during the pandemic, and now in this brick-and-mortar space. They expressed concern that receiving the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration (ABRA) liquor license approval and the local Advisory Neighborhood Commission, or ANC, approval will be a long and expensive process.

They have already received notice that some neighbors intend to protest As You Are Bar’s application for the “tavern” liquor license that ABRA grants to serve alcohol and allow for live entertainment (e.g. drag shows). They applied for the license on Nov. 12, and have no anticipated opening date, estimating at least six months. If ABRA and the city’s Alcoholic Beverage Control Board give final approval, the local ANC 6B and nearby residents can no longer protest the license until the license comes up for renewal.

Until approval is given, they continue physical buildout (including soundproofing) and planning their offerings. If the license is approved, ABRA and the ABC Board can take action against As You Are Bar, like any bar, at any time if they violate the terms of the license or create a neighborhood disturbance that violates city laws such as the local noise ordinance.  In the kitchen, the duo snagged Chef Nina Love to develop the menu. Love will oversee café-style fare; look out for breakfast sandwiches making an appearance all the way until close. They will also have baked goods during the day.

McDaniel and Pike themselves will craft the bar menu. Importantly, they note, the coffee bar will also serve until close. There will be a full bar as well as a list of zero-proof cocktails. As with their sourcing, they hope to work with queer-, minority-, and women-owned businesses for everything not made in-house.

Flexible conceptually, they seek to grow with their customer base, allowing patrons to create the culture that they seek.

Their goal is to move the queer space away from a focus on alcohol consumption. From book clubs, to letter-writing, to shared workspaces, to dance parties, they seek an all-day, morning-to-night rhythm of youth, families, and adults to find a niche. “We want to shift the narrative of a furtive, secretive, dark gay space and hold it up to the light,” they say. “It’s a little like The Planet from the original L Word show,” they joke.

Pike notes that they plan on working closely with SMYAL, for example, to promote programming for youth. Weekend potential activities include lunch-and-learn sessions on Saturdays and festive Sunday brunches.

The café space, to be located on the first floor, will have coffeehouse-style sofas as well as workstations. A slim patio on 8th Street will hold about six tables.

Even as other queer bars have closed, they reinforce that the need is still present. “Yes, we can visit a café or bar, but we always need to have a place where we are 100 percent certain that we are safe, and that our security is paramount. Even as queer acceptance continues to grow, a dedicated queer space will always be necessary,” they say.

To get there, they continue to rally support of friends, neighbors, and leaders in ANC6B district; the ANC6B officials butted heads with District Soul Food, the previous restaurant in the space, over late-night noise and other complaints. McDaniel and Pike hope that once nearby residents and businesses understand the important contribution that As You Are Bar can make to the neighborhood, they will extend their support and allow the bar to open.

AYA, gay news, Washington Blade
Rachel Pike and Jo McDaniel signed a lease for their new concept in Barracks Row. (Photo courtesy Pike and McDaniel)
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Need a list-minute gift idea?

Books, non-profit donations make thoughtful choices

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‘Yes, Daddy’ by Jonathan Parks-Ramage is the story of a young man with dying dreams of fame and fortune, who schemes to meet an older man.

You knew this was coming.

You knew that you were going to have to finish your holiday shopping soon but it snuck up on you, didn’t it? And even if you’re close to being done, there are always those three or five people who are impossible to buy for, right? Remember this, though: books are easy to wrap and easy to give, and they last a while, too. So why not head to the bookstore with your Christmas List and look for these gifts.

And if you still have people to shop for, why not make a donation to a local non-profit in their name? A list of D.C.-area suggestions follows.

BOOKS: NONFICTION

If there’s about to be a new addition to your family, wrapping up “Queer Stepfamilies: The path to Social and Legal Recognition” by Katie L. Acosta would be a good thing. In this book, the author followed forty LGBTQ families to understand the joys, pitfalls, and legalities of forming a new union together. It can’t replace a lawyer, but it’s a good overview.

For the parent who wants to ensure that their child grows up with a lack of bias, “Raising LGBTQ Allies” by Chris Tompkins is a great book to give. It’s filled with methods to stop bullying in its tracks, to be proactive in having That Conversation, and how to be sure that the next generation you’re responsible for becomes responsible in turn. Wrap it up with “The Healing Otherness Handbook” by Stacee L. Reicherzer, Ph.D., a book that helps readers to deal with bullying by finding confidence and empowerment.

If there’s someone on your gift list who’s determined to get “fit” in the coming year, then give “The Secret to Superhuman Strength” by Alison Bechdel this holiday. Told in graphic-novel format (comics, basically), it’s the story of searching for self-improvement and finding it in a surprising place.

So why not give a little nostalgia this year by wrapping up “A Night at the Sweet Gum Head” by Martin Padgett? It’s the tale of disco, drag, and drugs in the 1970s (of course!) in Atlanta, with appearances by activists, politics, and people who were there at that fabulous time. Wrap it up with “After Francesco” by Brian Malloy, a novel set a little later – in the mid-1980s in New York City and Minneapolis at the beginning of the AIDS crisis.

The LGBTQ activist on your gift list will want to read “The Case for Gay Reparations” by Omar G. Encarnacion. It’s a book about acknowledgment, obligation on the part of cis citizens, and fixing the pain that homophobia and violence has caused. Wrap it up with “Trans Medicine: The Emergence and Practice of Treating Gender” by Stef M. Shuster, a look at trans history that may also make your giftee growl.

FICTION

Young readers who have recently transitioned will enjoy reading “Both Sides Now” by Peyton Thomas. It’s a novel about a high school boy with gigantic dreams and the means to accomplish them all. Can he overcome the barriers that life gives him? It’s debatable… Pair it with “Can’t Take That Away” by Steven Salvatore, a book about two nonbinary students and the troubles they face as they fall in love.

The thriller fan on your list will be overjoyed to unwrap “Yes, Daddy” by Jonathan Parks-Ramage. It’s the story of a young man with dying dreams of fame and fortune, who schemes to meet an older, more accomplished man with the hopes of sparking his failing career. But the older man isn’t who the younger thinks he is, and that’s not good. Wrap it up with “Lies with Man” by Michael Nava, a book about a lawyer who agrees to be counsel for a group of activists. Good so far, right? Until one of them is accused of being involved in a deadly bombing.

For the fan of Southern fiction, you can’t go wrong when you wrap up “The Tender Grave” by Sheri Reynolds. It’s the tale of two sisters, one homophobic, the other lesbian, and how they learn to forgive and re-connect.

NON-PROFIT GIVING

Like nonprofit organizations throughout the country, D.C.-area LGBTQ supportive nonprofit groups have told the Blade they continue to rebuild amid the coronavirus pandemic, which disrupted their fundraising efforts while increasing expenses, at least in part by prompting more people to come to them for help.

This holiday season, if you’re looking for a thoughtful gift, consider making a donation to one of our local LGBTQ non-profit organizations in someone else’s name. This list is by no means exhaustive, but a good place to start your research.

Contributions to the LGBTQ supportive nonprofit organizations can be made via the websites of these local organizations:

• Blade Foundation, which funds local scholarships and fellowships for queer student journalists, bladefoundation.org

• DC Center, our local community center that operates a wide range of programming,  thedccenter.org/donate

Food & Friends, which delivers meals to homebound patients, foodandfriends.org

HIPS, which advances the health rights and dignity of those impacted by sex work and drugs, hips.org

• SMYAL, which advocates for queer youth, smyal.org

Wanda Alston Foundation, which offers shelter and support for LGBTQ youth, wandaalstonfoundation.org

• Whitman-Walker Health, the city’s longtime LGBTQ-inclusive health care provider, whitmanwalkerimpact.org

Casa Ruby, which provides shelter and services to youth in need, casaruby.org

• Us Helping Us, which helps improve the health of communities of color and works to reduce the impact of HIV/AIDS on the Black community, ushelpingus.org/donate

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