Things got so crazy in Washington last week, I started reading my backlog of Democratic Party emails as a distraction. I completely ran out of YouTube raccoon videos. Then, like an alternative fact, I scored an invite to the sort of Washington soiree that gets buzz in Politico.
There I was at the book party Steve Clemons of The Atlantic threw for husband Andrew Oros (Japan’s Security Renaissance) on February 16 at their stylish Dupont Circle townhouse. It was mere hours after Trump’s unhinged press conference where he complained about his own decision to fire Gen. Michael Flynn, attacked the free press, and asked American Urban Radio Networks reporter April Ryan to set up a meeting for him with the Congressional Black Caucus. Trump presumably spoke to Ms. Ryan this way because she was black and therefore (A) must know every other black person, and (B) must be used to taking orders from white people.
Everyone was at the book party, from British Ambassador Sir Kim Darroch and Lady Darroch to Sid Blumenthal to Jonathan Rauch. I schmoozed with a Baltimore Sun columnist near the desserts as a pair of A-listers conferred in the kitchen. I told Sen. Mark Warner that his presence there probably meant that particular night would not be the Night of the Generals. He generously overlooked this quip, but did express his high opinion of our patriotic military leaders. I will reciprocate his generosity by not describing his reaction when I mentioned one of his more outspoken Senate colleagues, not even her party affiliation.
Feb. 16, incidentally, was also the 60th birthday of actor LeVar Burton, who has played everything from a rebellious slave to a starship engineer and, as host of “Reading Rainbow,” has championed child literacy. Visit http://tinyurl.com/LeVar2sleep and watch him read the bedtime story, Go the Fuck to Sleep. This also happens to be the title of the Republican guidebook for American voters.
Regarding which, I would just like to mention that Neil Gorsuch knows his way around a barn.
One bit of wisdom that Sen. Warner won’t mind my sharing is that Democrats should not gloat over Trump’s disastrous month-old presidency. I am sure he was referring not to me but to people like the smart-ass who wrote, “Why are the liberals completely overreacting to Trump’s unique style of governing? They’re not. He’s a fucking sociopath. And here’s a recipe for raspberry scones.” I made a batch while I was waiting for Greta Van Susteren, and they’re delicious.
People are on edge, wondering what President Chaos will do next. Whatever the coming #Prezmageddon, we should keep calm, be nice to Russians, and delete embarrassing stuff from our smartphones before crossing the border.
Social media users will be relieved to learn that Twitter is cracking down on abusive trolls by giving them time outs. No word yet on how this news was received at the Winter White House, but perhaps Trump can organize a Day Without Trolls to show how barren life would be without a barrage of bulletins from the booby hatch. Think how his devotees would linger, vainly hoping to quench their thirst in the dry creek bed of his nocturnal emissions.
At a campaign rally on Saturday, Trump spoke as if there had been a terrorist attack in Sweden the previous night. This was news to Sweden. But like the thousands of Massachusetts voters he says were bused into New Hampshire, his pants-on-fire claims are real to Glorious Leader.
The Pentagon is reportedly considering proposals to send American ground troops into Syria. Let’s face it, we haven’t done enough for that beleaguered region. Another invasion is just what the doctor ordered to quiet things down. If that sounds counterintuitive to you, perhaps you’d like a free tour of our Caribbean vacation hideaway at Guantanamo Bay.
Meanwhile, a draft memorandum at the Department of Homeland Security discussed mobilizing 100,000 National Guard troops to round up undocumented immigrants. I wonder, are there enough brigs to hold 100,000 troops if they all refuse to obey such an order? If the folks in Trumpland can think outside the box, which is an exceptionally nice way of putting matters, then so can we. #Resist
Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Copyright © 2017 by Richard J. Rosendall. All rights reserved.