Connect with us

Books

Former Obama admin. appointee releases ‘SELF-ish’ memoir

Trans activist Chloe Schwenke shares life story of balancing academia and family

Published

on

Chloe Schwenke, gay news, Washington Blade

Chloe Schwenke says coming out wreaked havoc on her professional career. Despite a stellar resume and Ph.D. she was repeatedly fired. (Photo by Carl Cox Photography; courtesy Schwenke)

About a decade ago when Chloe Schwenke and her then-wife Christine Lucas were ready to share the news with their two children (then 8 and 13) that their dad was going to start living as a woman, Schwenke knew she needed to get out in front with some damage control.

Schwenke and her wife met with 12 different couples whose kids were friends with theirs.

“We knew the first time the kids saw me as Chloe, they would go screaming back home to their parents,” Schwenke says. “The experts told us everything depends on how those parents react. Once the parents were on board with it, the kids came through just fine.”

It’s one of many stories relayed in “SELF-ish: a Transgender Awakening,” Schwenke’s new memoir. It’s out today as a trade paperback from Red Hen Press, a California-based publisher.

Schwenke, who holds a Ph.D in public policy, is a former Obama administration appointee who worked for years in international development. Coming out as trans in 2008 wreaked havoc on her professional career — she recounts being fired four different times and long periods of unemployment. Schwenke, who doesn’t want to get specific but says she’s “in her 60s,” now works in the Association for Writers & Writing Programs, a literary support group at the University of Maryland, College Park.

The book didn’t start out being a book at all. Schwenke enjoys writing and blogging for relaxation and started with journaling, exploring her journey through transitioning and unpacking “why it took me 50-some years to get around to it.”

“It seemed sort of all over the place,” Schwenke, who is no longer married but still lives with Lucas in Olney, Md., says. “It had integrity, but it didn’t seem to me that these stories related to one another until suddenly they did. … I started to see it as something that cohered as a way to be myself in the world in a way I thought might be helpful to other people.”

Exploring all that took work but was an illuminating process, she says. Incidents from childhood came roaring back to her consciousness with “remarkable clarity.” She spent a year writing it, then after securing a deal with Red Hen, one of three publishers she contacted (the other two weren’t interested but Red Hen bit immediately), she spent another two years working with two editors to glean the work into something publishable. The 260-page paperback retails for $17.95 and is available at all the usual online book channels or via chloemaryland.net.

Schwenke on:

how the book evolved: “They wanted to hear more about my explorations of dating men and a bit less about my being a Quaker. … I’d had some dating experiences end really badly and though I hadn’t initially planned to include much of that, though it was in my journal, they said, ‘Just sit with that awhile,’ because they thought that would be of interest to readers.”

her concerns with going public with her life: “My real concern is whether people are gonna sue me. I’ve been fired four times just for being trans, arrested, beaten up, called every name you can think of. I did name names but just first names. I thought, ‘To hell with it, these are important interactions and people need to know how people behave toward trans people.’”

the title: “When I came out to family, some people were really angry with me. Two of my three brothers didn’t speak to me for eight years. A recurring response was, ‘How could you be so selfish?’ There was this wave of anger. … I decided to put the hyphen in and reclaim that word.”

how she feels anti-trans bias is part of broader toxic patriarchy: “I think there are lots of unreconciled feelings hetero men have about sexuality because they’ve never had to think through it or deal with it because they’ve just always been the boss, they’ve called the shots. When somebody goes in the opposite direction, it raises a lot of profound questions. They think, ‘Why would anybody want to do that,’ and they have a very deep-rooted gut reaction to the operation itself. … Every time we told other couples, the men immediately crossed their legs. They have a very strong, protective reaction.”

working with the State Department and monthly visits to the Obama White House: “Don Steinberg (former deputy administrator at the United States Agency for International Development) was a huge ally and really pushed me and the LGBT community to be verbal and outspoken though we didn’t get much support from the administration at the time, though they also didn’t stand in our way. … The White House was fantastic. They looked at us and said, “What can we do for you?” That was their mantra every month and that really started with (former deputy director of the White House Office of Public Engagement) Brian Bond.

Gens. Y and Z’s comfort with gender fluidity: “They’re asking questions and not just defaulting to the binary, which is great. They’re just really sitting with their gender identity for awhile before they declare anything and that’s such a healthy thing. My daughter is 18 and all her friends just think it’s cool.”

trans visibility in the age of Caitlyn Jenner: “She’s a really canny person. She knows how to play the media and I really admire that in these exchanges we see, she never seems to be the victim. I couldn’t disagree with her politics more, though. She’s a stalwart Republican and with a president and especially vice president as transphobic as we have now, how she reconciles that, I don’t know.”

her relationship with her ex-wife: “We are no longer married but we still share the same house and jointly raise our daughter. Christine is my best friend and strongest ally.”

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

Books

Pioneering gay journalist takes on Trump 2.0 in new book

Nick Benton’s essays appeared in Fall Church News-Press

Published

on

(Book cover image via Amazon)

Nicholas Benton is a well-known local LGBTQ advocate and journalist and the longtime owner and editor of the Falls Church News-Press, a weekly newspaper.

In his eighth book out now, Benton offers a new set of remarkable essays all crafted in the first eight months of Trump 2.0 and its wholesale effort at dismantling democracy and the rule of law. Most were published in the Falls Church News-Press, but he adds a new piece to this volume, as an addendum to his “Cult Century” series, revealing for the first time his experiences from decades ago in the political cult of Lyndon LaRouche, aimed at providing a clearer grasp of today’s Cult of Trump. 

His “Please Don’t Eat Your Children” set takes off from the satire of Jonathan Swift to explore society’s critical role of drumming creativity out of the young. 

Below is an excerpt from “Please Don’t Eat Your Children, Cult Century, and other 2025 Essays.”

Please Dont Eat Your Children

In his famous short essay, “A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public,” author and Anglican priest Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) uses cutting satire to suggest that cannibalism of the young might help solve a battery of social ills.

As we examine our broken society today, it seems to me that reflecting on Swift’s social critique can be quite useful. Now we face a nation filled with anger and division and there is little to suggest any real solutions other than insisting people “don’t do that!” We can start out with the observation that young children, left to their own, are neither hateful nor cruel. How do they get that way later on in their lives? What drives them toward such emotional states and behaviors? It is not a problem only for the margins of society, for the extreme misfits or troubled. It is defining the very center of our culture today. Our divisions are not the cause, but the result of something, and nobody is saying what that is.

Swift doesn’t say what it is in his biting little essay. But it is implied by a context of a lack of bounty, or poverty, on the one hand, and an approach to it characterized by obscenely cruel indifference, on the other. He coined the phrase “useless eaters” in defining his radical solution. In Hitler’s Germany, that term resonated through the death camps and some in our present situation are daring to evoke it again as the current administration pushes radical cuts in Medicaid funding.

But while that refers to the old and infirm, mostly, it is the young we are talking about here. The problem is that our society is structured to devour our young and as they begin to find that out, they rebel. Not in all cases is this the practice, of course. Where there is little or no lack, things are different. We nurture our young, as we should, and we love them. Lucky is the child who is born to parents who are of means, and in a community where nurture is possible and valued. But even such children are ultimately not immune from facing a destiny of pale conformity battered by tightly delimited social expectations and debt slavery. If they have enough ambition, education and doors opened for them, some can run the gauntlet with relative effectiveness. Otherwise, our young are raised to die on battlefields, or to struggle in myriad other painful social conflicts aimed at advancing the world of their elders. In the Bible, there is a great admonition against this process that comes at the very precondition for the tradition it represents that begins with Abraham.

It is in the book of Genesis at the beginning of the Biblical story when, as that story goes, God commanded Abraham to kill his son, Isaac, as a sacrifice. As Abraham is about to obey, God steps in and says no. The entire subsequent eons-long struggle to realize Abraham’s commission by God to make a great nation that would be a light to the world would have been cut short right then if Abraham had slain his own son. The message is that all of the Abrahamic traditions, Judaism, Islam and Christianity, owe their source, and in fact are rooted, in God’s command to reject the sacrifice of children to the whims of their elders. The last thousands of years can be best defined in these terms, where nurture is pitted against exploitation of our young with, at best, vastly mixed results. Scenes like that at the opening of “All Quiet on the Western Front,” the World War I novel and film where a teacher rallies a classroom full of boys to enlist in the war, is bone chilling. Or, the lyric in Pink Floyd’s iconic song, Comfortably Numb, “When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now. The child is grown, the dream is gone.”

Nick Benton’s new book is available now at Amazon.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

Continue Reading

Books

New book highlights long history of LGBTQ oppression

‘Queer Enlightenments’ a reminder that inequality is nothing new

Published

on

(Book cover image courtesy of Atlantic Monthly Press)

‘Queer Enlightenments: A Hidden History of Lovers, Lawbreakers, and Homemakers’
By Anthony Delaney
c.2025, Atlantic Monthly Press
$30/352 pages

It had to start somewhere.

The discrimination, the persecution, the inequality, it had a launching point. Can you put your finger on that date? Was it DADT, the 1950s scare, the Kinsey report? Certainly not Stonewall, or the Marriage Act, so where did it come from? In “Queer Enlightenments: A Hidden History of Lovers, Lawbreakers, and Homemakers” by Anthony Delaney, the story of queer oppression goes back so much farther.

The first recorded instance of the word “homosexual” arrived loudly in the spring of 1868: Hungarian journalist Károly Mária Kerthbeny wrote a letter to German activist Karl Heinrich Ulrichs referring to “same-sex-attracted men” with that new term. Many people believe that this was the “invention” of homosexuality, but Delaney begs to differ.

“Queer histories run much deeper than this…” he says.

Take, for instance, the delightfully named Mrs. Clap, who ran a “House” in London in which men often met other men for “marriage.” On a February night in 1726, Mrs. Clap’s House was raided and 40 men were taken to jail, where they were put in filthy, dank confines until the courts could get to them. One of the men was ultimately hanged for the crime of sodomy. Mrs. Clap was pilloried, and then disappeared from history.

William Pulteney had a duel with John, Lord Hervey, over insults flung at the latter man. The truth: Hervey was, in fact, openly a “sodomite.” He and his companion, Ste Fox had even set up a home together.

Adopting your lover was common in 18th century London, in order to make him a legal heir. In about 1769, rumors spread that the lovely female spy, the Chevalier d’Éon, was actually Charles d’Éon de Beaumont, a man who had been dressing in feminine attire for much longer than his espionage career. Anne Lister’s masculine demeanor often left her an “outcast.” And as George Wilson brought his bride to North American in 1821, he confessed to loving men, thus becoming North America’s first official “female husband.”

Sometimes, history can be quite dry. So can author Anthony Delaney’s wit. Together, though, they work well inside “Queer Enlightenments.”

Undoubtedly, you well know that inequality and persecution aren’t new things – which Delaney underscores here – and queer ancestors faced them head-on, just as people do today. The twist, in this often-chilling narrative, is that punishments levied on 18th- and 19th-century queer folk was harsher and Delaney doesn’t soften those accounts for readers. Read this book, and you’re platform-side at a hanging, in jail with an ally, at a duel with a complicated basis, embedded in a King’s court, and on a ship with a man whose new wife generously ignored his secret. Most of these tales are set in Great Britain and Europe, but North America features some, and Delaney wraps up thing nicely for today’s relevance.

While there’s some amusing side-eyeing in this book, “Queer Enlightenments” is a bit on the heavy side, so give yourself time with it. Pick it up, though, and you’ll love it til the end.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

Continue Reading

Books

A history of lesbian workarounds to build family

Fighting for the right to have and raise kids

Published

on

‘Radical Family: Trailblazing Lesbian Moms Tell Their Stories’
Edited by Margaret Mooney
c.2025, Wisconsin Historical Society Press
$20/150 pages

You don’t have a white picket fence with an adorable gate.

The other parts of the American Dream – the house in the suburbs, a minivan, and a big backyard – may also be beyond your reach. You’ve never wanted the joyous husband-wife union, but the two-point-five kids? Yeah, maybe that’s possible. As in the new book “Radical Family,” edited by Margaret Mooney, it’s surely more so than it was in the past.

Once upon a time, if a lesbian wanted to raise a family, she had two basic options: pregnancy or adoption. That is, says Mooney, if she was willing to buck a hetero-centric society that said the former was “selfish, unnatural and radical” and the latter was often just simply not possible or even legal.

Undaunted, and very much wanting kids, many lesbians ignored the rules. They built “chains” of women who handed off sperm from donor to doctor to potential mother. They demanded that fertility clinics allow single women as customers. They wrote pamphlets and publications aimed to help others become pregnant by themselves or with partners. They carefully sought lesbian-friendly obstetricians and nurses.

Over time, lesbians who wanted kids were “emboldened by the feminist movement and the gay and lesbian rights movement” and did what they had to do, omitted facts when needed, traveled abroad when they could, and found workarounds to build a family.

This book tells nine stories of everyday lesbians who succeeded.

Denise Matyka and Margaret McMurray went to Russia to adopt. Martha Dixon Popp and Alix Olson raised their family, in part and for awhile in conjunction with Popp’s husband. Gail Hirn learned from an agriculture publication how to inseminate herself. MC Reisdorf literally stood on her head to get pregnant. Mooney says that, like most lesbian parents then, she became a mother “without any safety nets…”

Such “struggles likely will feel familiar as you read about [the] desire to become parents…” says Mooney. “In short, these families are ordinary and extraordinary all at once.”

In her introduction, editor Margaret Mooney points out that the stories in this book generally take place in the latter part of the last century, but that their relevance is in the struggles that could happen tomorrow. There’s urgency in those words, absolutely, and they’re tinged with fear, but don’t let them keep you from “Radical Family.”

What you’ll see inside these nine tales is mostly happy, mostly triumphant – and mostly Wisconsin-centric, though the variety in dream-fulfillment is wide enough that the book is appropriate anywhere. The determination leaps out of the pages here, and the storytellers don’t hide their struggles, not with former partners, bureaucracy, or with roadblocks. Reading this book is like attending a conference and hearing attendees tell their tales. Bonus: photos and advice for any lesbian thinking of parenthood, single or partnered.

If you’re in search of positive stories from lesbian mothers and the wall-busting they did, or if you’ve lived the same tales, this slim book is a joy to read. For you, “Radical Family” may open some gates.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

Continue Reading

Popular