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QUEERY: Ruben J. Gonzales

The LGBTQ Victory Institute VP answers 20 queer questions

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Ruben J. Gonzales, gay news, Washington Blade
Ruben J. Gonzales (Photo by Teddy Wihite)

The 2020 election, being queer and indigenous, the role of same-sex partners on the campaign trail, criminal justice reform, plastics pollution — these are just some of the topics attendees are tackling this week at the International LGBTQ Leaders Conference, which runs through Saturday in Washington.

“Anti-LGBTQ laws and opportunities to advance equality often occur at the state and local level,” says Ruben J. Gonzales, vice president of the organization. “Victory Institute’s work focuses on building a bench of LGBTQ elected officials who can affect change there. There is also an undeniable benefit to growing and diversifying the number of candidates and elected officials who can be out and proud role models for young queer people and change hearts and minds through their campaigns and careers.”
Close to 600 are attending the conference, in its 35th year. It’s been held in Washington annually since 2016 (it was held in other cities prior).

“(The conference) remains at its core a place for elected and appointed officials — current and aspiring as well as the people who love them — to come together,” Gonzales says. “We will offer them many settings for doing that including our plenary and breakout sessions, many receptions and nights out in Washington.”

The Institute employs 19 and has a $2.9 million annual operating budget (in addition to the $2.8 million for the LGBTQ Victory Fund, its sister organization).

Gonzales, who identifies as queer, came to Washington 10 years ago to work at UnidosUS. The 43-year-old Phoenix native previously led GLAAD’s volunteer program and raised major gifts for the LGBTQ Task Force.

Gonzales is married to Joaquin Tamayo, his partner of 20 years. They live in Petworth with their Whaten Terrier, Sadie Rose. Gonzales enjoys working out, audiobook memoirs and “anything related to dance” in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out for 26 years. My Nana (my Dad’s mom) was the hardest person to tell. She was the person I loved the most who I really thought might not accept me after coming out to her. She told me she loved me but asked me to never be affectionate with a man in front of her; she eventually relented on that and was very supportive.

Who’s your LGBTQ hero?

Jose Sarria was the first openly gay person to run for public office in 1961. I know how much courage it takes to run now and I am amazed that Sarria ran as an out Latinx Queer 13 years before Kathy Kozachenko became the first out elected official in the U.S. in 1974.

What LGBTQ stereotype most annoys you?

That gays are mean and catty.

What’s your proudest professional achievement?

Since I have worked at Victory Institute, the number of transgender and gender non-conforming elected officials has grown from under a handful to more than 30. This year over 20 percent of the people we trained to run for office were transgender or gender non-conforming.

What terrifies you?

Four more years of kids in cages.

What’s something trashy or vapid you love?

What’s something trashy or vapid I don’t love?

What’s your greatest domestic skill?

Making playlists for every and all occasions.

What’s your favorite LGBTQ movie or show?

All of the gay ’90s movies: “Paris is Burning,” “Trick,” “Broken Hearts Club,” “Party Girl,” “Jeffrey,” “Velvet Goldmine,” “The Opposite of Sex,” “But I’m a Cheerleader,” “Beautiful Thing,” “To Wong Foo” and “The Celluloid Closet.”

What’s your social media pet peeve?

Vaguebooking (posting something intentionally ambiguous for attention). I mean either share something or don’t.

What would the end of the LGBTQ movement look like to you?

LGBTQ people will always be a minority and our movement toward full equality will be ongoing. However, electing more than 22,000 LGBTQ people to achieve equitable representation (4.5 percent of all elected positions) in the U.S. is a good start. We are at just about 800 now.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Putting away your white shoes after Labor Day.

What was your religion, if any, as a child and what is it today?

I grew up Catholic and today I still have a special place in my heart and on my altar for la Virgen de Guadalupe.

What’s D.C.’s best hidden gem?

The drag scene in Petworth. Taqueria del Barrio has a great drag brunch and drag trivia and Desiree Dik puts on an incredible monthly show at Slash Run.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The Madonna/Britney/Xtina kiss on the VMAs in 2003 was actually everything to me.

What celebrity death hit you hardest?

Whitney Houston. I always believed she would have a comeback and her voice would be back in top shape.

If you could redo one moment from your past, what would it be?

I don’t have many regrets and genuinely try and learn from every mistake but once I missed out on an opportunity to have my mom meet the cast of “All My Children” because I did not follow through with a friend.

What are your obsessions?

My dog Sadie Rose, drag shows and identifying music samples.

Finish this sentence — It’s about damn time:

D.C. was recognized as a state and we have representation in Congress.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That Ricky Martin was actually gay.

Why Washington?

This week I saw Sasha Velour’s incredible show and AOC was in the audience. I once saw a Beyonce show with Michelle Obama and her girls in the audience. Where else in the world does that happen?!

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Summer in the City: Free exhibits, movies, more fill D.C.’s calendar

America 250 celebrations continue

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Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande star in ‘Wicked,’ screening Sept. 12 at Union Market. (Photo courtesy of Universal Pictures)

From late-night museum visits and outdoor jazz concerts to free movie screenings and America250 exhibitions, Washington’s summer calendar is packed with events that don’t charge admission. Here’s a look at some of the free activities happening across the District through September and beyond.

Museum exhibitions

The Renwick Gallery is presenting State Fairs: Growing American Craft, an exhibition that looks at unique and unconventional crafts from the 19th century to the present. It will run until Sept. 7, and admission is free. 

The Arts and Industries Building, located next to the Smithsonian Castle, is presenting the exhibition Voices and Votes: Exploring Democracy Across America. The exhibition features the development of American independence and what that has meant over time, beginning with the Revolutionary War. Admission to the museum is free, and the exhibition runs until Sept. 7.

The National Gallery of Art presents Dear America, an exhibit featuring more than 100 pieces of work, including letters, photographs, and drawings that depict American landscapes and depictions of freedom. The exhibition will run until Sept. 20.

The National Museum of Women in the Arts is exhibiting Burnished: Pueblo Pottery until Sept. 27. The exhibit features pottery from the Southwest, and while most of the pottery belongs to women artists, a few also reflect those who have advocated for women.

Extending past this summer, the exhibition ¡Puro Ritmo! The Musical Journey of Salsa will be at the National Museum of the American Latino until July 2028. The exhibition shows how Afro-Cuban music has become a staple in the U.S. Admission is free.

The Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library will feature the exhibition District Vibes / American Pride: How DC Changed American Culture, which will highlight all of the ways D.C. has impacted American life. The exhibit will run until Sept. 27.

At the Folger Shakespeare Library, the exhibit Imagining Shakespeare: Mythmaking and Storytelling in the Regency Era will be on view through Aug. 2. All the portraits on display come from the Boydell Shakespeare Gallery in London.

The United States Botanic Garden will be open until 8 p.m. on Aug. 20 and Sept. 17, as part of America’s State Flowers: An America250 Celebration. The evenings will include live music, mocktails, ice cream, and snacks.

The National Gallery of Art Sculpture Garden will have extended hours, staying open until 8 p.m. Wednesday to Saturday until Sept. 3. 

Live performances

On Aug. 7, the postgame Nationals concert series will continue with Jordan Davis performing. To see the concert, guests just need to buy tickets to the Nationals game. 

Jazz in the Garden will run each Friday until Aug. 14. The event has free admission, but those interested have to enter a lottery due to the high demand for the event.

From May to October, Capital Harvest Market occurs every Wednesday from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. The market features fresh foods, crafts, and recipes for unique dishes. A full list of vendors is available on Capital Harvest’s website.

Live! Concert Series on the Plaza will feature live performances at Woodrow Wilson Plaza until Sept. 25. The performances run Monday to Friday from 12-1 p.m. Admission is free to the performances. 

DowntownDC Live! at Anthem Row is running until July 30, with free performances every Thursday from 5:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. The final performance will feature HUE and a vintage flea market hosted by Get Flee Marketplace. 

Located in Adams Morgan, AdMo Vibe will present live performances every Thursday at 6 p.m. in Kalorama Park. Guests are encouraged to check out Adams Morgan before and after shows, and it is an event for all ages.

Other events

Union Market is hosting drive-in movies on Aug. 8, featuring “Monsters, Inc.”, and Sept. 12, featuring “Wicked.” On Aug. 8, the parking lot will open at 7:30 p.m., with the movie starting at 8:25 p.m. On Sept. 12, the parking lot will open at 6:35 p.m., and the movie will start at 7:30 p.m.

Sunset Cinema at the Wharf will also be available one day a month. On Aug. 12, “10 Things I Hate About You” will premiere, and on Aug. 26, “Project Hail Mary.” No tickets are necessary. 

The Library of Congress will also show movies. On Aug. 6, guests are invited to watch “Apollo 13.” The movie will be shown at 8 p.m., with additional live performances beginning at 7 p.m.

For fans of Asian media, the Okaton convention will be at Walter E. Washington Convention Center from July 31-Aug. 2. Festivities will include cosplay contests, skits, live music, and panel discussions.

Washington Spirit’s season also begins in August. The Spirit is Washington’s National Women’s League, with matchups occurring between the San Diego Wave, the North Carolina Courage, the Orlando Pride, and the Bay FC.

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Summer in D.C. brings sports, Restaurant Week, festivals, and more

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Washington Spirit CEO Kim Stone hosts Pride Night OUT on Sunday, Aug. 23. (Photo courtesy of Washington Spirit)

Summer in D.C. just hits different. Congress is out, school is out, the sun is out, thighs are out. With the skies clearing from Canadian smoke, here are a few ways to stay entertained.

Dining

Summer restaurant week: The Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington (RAMW) is once again hosting Summer Restaurant Week, Aug. 18-24. This weeklong dining experience showcases the dynamic dining scene of the DMV, including 2026 RAMMY Award-winning favorites (the annual D.C. food awards show that took place June 29). Participating restaurants will offer three-course brunch and lunch selections for $25 or $35 per person, and three-course dinners for $40, $55 and $65 per person.

New Restaurants: A handful of new spots have opened, so the summer is a great time to check them out:

  • Oribu: A new Mediterranean-Japanese restaurant in the Grand Hyatt hotel, which just underwent a remodeling effort. The sleek restaurant brings upscale charm, with dishes like Wagyu beef tartare with potato pavé and caviar.
  • The Oak Room: A snazzy old-school American grill has just opened in Georgetown, alongside its sister upstairs supper club (Bernadette’s) restaurant, in the old El Centro space.
  • Uchi: This showy Japanese sushi-forward chain has landed in Dupont with a chef’s tasting menu of favorites like fatty tuna.
  • Kathmandu: Recalling the capital of Nepal, this warm, buzzy subterranean restaurant right in the heart of U Street brings spice, flair, and rare ingredients to its dishes (see: buffalo burgers) and drinks.

Sports

  • Washington Spirit Pride Night OUT: On Sunday, Aug. 23, head to Audi Field for a massive, high-energy game following the exciting month of World Cup. The designated Pride Night OUT game promises boisterous crowds plus pre- and post-game community engagements. 
  • Washington Tennis Open – Now called the Mubadala DC Open, this annual tournament is only combined mens’ and womens’ 500-level tennis tournament in the world. The open is one of D.C.’s longest-standing sports traditions, and will take place at the Rock Creek Park Tennis Center July 25-Aug. 2. Naomi Osaka, Venus Williams, Ben Shelton, Frances Tiafoe, and others are expected to play.

Festivals

  • Afro Plus Fest: This huge, three-day Afro-Caribbean Hip-Hop Festival brings together headliners Davido, Alkaline, and Wizkid, plus Tems and Ayra Starr. The event moves from RFK to the Northwest Stadium Complex for three days, Sept. 4-6.
  • Capital Fringe Festival: Running from July 11-21, this massive celebration features dozens of live theater, comedy, dance, and boundary-pushing nighttime performances across multiple DC neighborhoods. 
  • The National Book Festival returns, with headliners like Cynthia Erivo, and Martin Scorsese. The one-day festival, Saturday, Aug. 22, brings together bookworms and word nerds under the theme “America 250: It’s Your Story.” There are talks, workshops, musical sessions and more.
  • All Things Go: A three-day festival Sept. 25-27 at Merriweather Post Pavilion featuring Mitski, Hayley Williams, Brandi Carlile, MUNA, Zara Larsson, Ethel Cain, and many, many more artists. There are single-day and three-day tickets. Featuring and highlighting female artists, the festival has turned into a must-see for many LGBTQ audience members.
  • Fuchsia Fest: The inaugural Fuchsia Fest is a new multi-day celebration created to celebrate LGBTQ community and expression, bringing together a mix of community gatherings, entertainment, and nightlife. The event takes place Sept. 18-20 and is hosted by Capital Pride.

Art and Music

  • United We Dance: A high-energy rave with house, techno, bass, and festival music, on Aug. 1 at the 9:30 Club. 
  • The Fray. On Aug. 14, this American rock band famous for How To Save A Life is at Merriweather Post Pavilion.
  • Kesha: Kesha’s high-energy The Freedom Tour comes to the D.C. area on Aug. 14 at Jiffy Lube Live.
  • ALOK: On Sept. 3 at Lincoln Theater, ALOK (they/them) performs. The poet, comedian, and actor is putting on a new comedy show.
  • 2charm, the emerging Australian electronic club-pop duo popular with the queer community, which blends hyperpop and dance music, comes to the Atlantis.
  • Sapphic Dance Party: a vibrant, inclusive nightlife and social event designed specifically for queer women, lesbians, bisexuals, trans individuals, and nonbinary folks, at Atlantis on Aug. 21.
  • Jazz in the Garden: The most quintessential of D.C. activities returns Friday evenings through Aug. 14. This season’s theme, “American Sounds,” is a nod to the nation’s 250th anniversary. Tunes themes range from Appalachian and Americana to Creole jazz, Hill Country blues, contemporary jazz, and more. Tickets are available through a lottery system a week before each event.
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Tickets on sale for chef Patrick O’Connell’s book launch event

Sept. 18 kickoff to feature José Andrés, Tom Sietsema

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Acclaimed chef Patrick O’Connell is preparing to publish his new memoir, “Main, Middle & Gay” in September and he’s launching the book with an event on Sept. 18 at 6 p.m. at Lisner Auditorium featuring Chef José Andrés and former Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema.

Tickets for the event go on sale Tuesday, July 21 at Ticketmaster; prices start at $55.

 O’Connell, who’s gay, is the pioneering Michelin-starred chef and longtime proprietor of the Inn at Little Washington. He spoke with the Blade about the September event and the launch of his first memoir.

 “I’ve known [Andrés and Sietsema] for more than 25 years and I have great respect for them,” O’Connell said. “I felt that it would allow us to add a different dimension rather than just have an interviewer. The chemistry will be fun and lively and unpredictable and exciting. I think we’re all different personalities and we’ll compliment each other.”

O’Connell has published cookbooks but this is his first memoir. The event will feature a short film that will highlight his work and the Inn.

“What I hope to do with the event is bring the book to life visually,” he said. “So we’re producing a short film that will be part of it. Most of the audience will not have read the book so it’ll give them a visual flavor of the book. It parallels the evolution of American cuisine over 50 years. It’s a rare perspective to be in the trenches for that long.”

The book’s title refers to the location of the garage on the corner of Main, Middle, and Gay streets in Washington, Va., where he launched his restaurant that became an international culinary destination. 

The Blade will publish the rest of its wide-ranging interview with O’Connell in September in conjunction with the book’s release.

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