District of Columbia
Catching up with the asexuals and aromantics of D.C.
Exploring identity and finding community
There was enough commotion in the sky at the Blossom Kite Festival that bees might have been pollinating the Washington Monument. I despaired of quickly finding the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic—I couldn’t make out a single asexual flag among the kites up above. I thought to myself that if it had been the Homosexuals of the Mid-Atlantic I would’ve had my gaydar to rely on. Was there even such a thing as ace-dar?
As it turned out, the asexual kite the group had meant to fly was a little too pesky to pilot. “Have you ever used a stunt kite?” Bonnie, the event organizer asked me. “I bought one. It looked really cool. But I can’t make it work.” She sighed. “I can’t get the thing six feet off the ground.” The group hardly seemed to care. There was caramel popcorn and cookies, board games and head massages, a game of charades with more than its fair share of Pokémon. The kites up above might as well have been a coincidental sideshow. Nearly two dozen folks filtered in and out of the picnic throughout the course of the day.
But I counted myself lucky that Bonnie picked me out of the crowd. If there’s such a thing as ace-dar, it eludes asexuals too. The online forum for all matters asexual, AVEN, or the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, is filled with laments: “I don’t think it’s possible.” “Dude, I wish I had an ace-dar.” “If it exists, I don’t have it.” “I think this is just like a broken clock is right twice a day type thing.” What seems to be a more common experience is meeting someone you just click with—only to find out later that they’re asexual. A few of the folks I met described how close childhood friends of theirs likewise came out in adulthood, a phenomenon that will be familiar to many queer people. But it is all the more astounding for asexuals to find each other this way, given that asexual people constitute 1.7% of sexual minorities in America, and so merely .1% of the population at large.
To help other asexuals identify you out in the world, some folks wear a black ring on their middle finger, much as an earring on the right ear used to signify homosexuality in a less welcoming era. The only problem? The swinger community—with its definite non-asexuality—has also adopted the signal. “It’s still a thing,” said Emily Karp. “So some people wear their ace rings just to the ace meet-ups.” Karp has been the primary coordinator for the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic (AAMA) since 2021, and a member of the meet-up for a decade. She clicked with the group immediately. After showing up for a Fourth of July potluck in the mid-afternoon, she ended up staying past midnight. “We played Cards against Humanity, which was a very, very fun thing to do. It’s funny in a way that’s different than if we were playing with people that weren’t ace. Some of the cards are implying, like, the person would be motivated by sex in a way that’s absurd, because we know they aren’t.”
Where so many social organizations withered during the pandemic, the AAMA flourished. Today, it boasts almost 2,000 members on meetup.com. Karp hypothesized that all the social isolation gave people copious time to reflect on themselves, and that the ease of meeting up online made it convenient as a way for people to explore their sexual identity and find community. Online events continue to make up about a third of the group’s meet-ups. The format allows people to participate who live farther out from D.C. And it allows people to participate at their preferred level of comfort: while many people participate much as they would at an in-person event, some prefer to watch anonymously, video feed off. Others prefer to participate in the chat box, though not in spoken conversation.
A recent online event was organized for a discussion of Rhaina Cohen’s book, “The Other Significant Others,” published in February. Cohen’s book discusses friendship as an alternative model for “significant others,” apart from the romantic model that is presupposed to be both the center and goal of people’s lives. The AAMA group received the book with enthusiasm. “It literally re-wired my brain,” as one person put it. People discussed the importance of friendship to their lives, and their difficulties in a world that de-prioritized friendship. “I can break up with a friend over text, and we don’t owe each other a conversation,” one said. But there was some disagreement when it came to the book’s discussion of romantic relationships. “It relegates ace relationships to the ‘friend’ or ‘platonic’ category, to the normie-reader,” one person wrote in the chat. “Our whole ace point is that we can have equivalent life relationships to allo people, simply without sex.” (“Allo” is shorthand for allosexual or alloromantic, people who do experience sexual or romantic attraction.)
The folks of the AAMA do not share a consensus on the importance of romantic relationships to their lives. Some asexuals identify as aromantic, some don’t. And some aromantics don’t identify as asexual, either. The “Aromantic” in the title of the group is a relatively recent addition. In 2017, the group underwent a number of big changes. The group was marching for the first time in D.C. Pride, participating in the LGBTQ Creating Change conference, and developing a separate advocacy and activism arm. Moreover, the group had become large enough that discussions were opened up into forming separate chapters for D.C., Central Virginia, and Baltimore. During those discussions, the group leadership realized that aromantic people who also identified as allosexual didn’t really have a space to call their own. “We were thinking it would be good to probably change the name of the Meetup group,” Emily said. “But we were not 100% sure. Because [there were] like 1,000 people in the group, and they’re all aces, and it’s like, ‘Do you really want to add a non-ace person?’” The group leadership decided to err on the side of inclusion. “You know, being less gatekeep-y was better. It gave them a place to go — because there was nowhere else to go.”
The DC LGBT Center now sponsors a support group for both asexuals and aromantics, but it was formed just a short while ago, in 2022. The founder of the group originally sought out the center’s bisexual support group, since they didn’t have any resources for ace folks. “The organizer said, you know what, why don’t we just start an ace/aro group? Like, why don’t we just do it?” He laughed. “I was impressed with the turnout, the first call. It’s almost like we tapped into, like, a dam. You poke a hole in the dam, and the water just rushes out.” The group has a great deal of overlap with the AAMA, but it is often a person’s first point of contact with the asexual and aromantic community in D.C., especially since the group focuses on exploring what it means to be asexual. Someone new shows up at almost every meeting. “And I’m so grateful that I did,” one member said. “I kind of showed up and just trauma dumped, and everyone was really supportive.”
Since the ace and aro community is so small, even within the broader queer community, ace and aro folks often go unrecognized. To the chagrin of many, the White House will write up fact sheets about the LGBTQI+ community, which is odd, given that when the “I” is added to the acronym, the “A” is usually added too. OKCupid has 22 genders and 12 orientations on its dating website, but “aromantic” is not one of them — presumably because aromantic people don’t want anything out of dating. And since asexuality and aromanticism are defined by the absence of things, it can seem to others like ace and aro people are ‘missing something.’ One member of the LGBT center support group had an interesting response. “The space is filled by… whatever else!” they said. “We’re not doing a relationship ‘without that thing.’ We’re doing a full scale relationship — as it makes sense to us.”
CJ Higgins is a postdoctoral fellow with the Alexander Grass Humanities Institute at Johns Hopkins University.
District of Columbia
Aparna Raj expected to become second LGBTQ member of D.C. Council
Winner of primary would also be first Asian American to serve on body
Ward 1 D.C. Council candidate Aparna Raj, who describes herself on her campaign website as a “renter, union member and queer woman of color,” emerged as the winner in the city’s June 16 Democratic primary.
She won in a five-candidate race with 52 percent of the vote in the fourth round of the vote count under the city’s newly implemented ranked choice voting system.
In a ward with an overwhelming majority of voters registered as Democrats, Raj, who identifies as bisexual, is expected to win in the November general election to become the Council’s second LGBTQ member.
She is running against two lesser-known candidates – Republican Jett James Jasper and Statehood Green Party candidate Jude Crannitch.
Her victory would mark the first time since 2015 that the Council has had two LGBTQ members. At 32, she would also become the Council’s youngest member and its first Asian-American member. She was born and raised in West Chester, Pa., in a family that came to the U.S. from India.
The current gay D.C. Council member, Zachary Parker (D-Ward 5), won the June 16 Democratic primary against two lesser-known opponents with 77.5 percent of the vote and is expected to easily win re-election in the November general election.
Gay healthcare leader Jim Graham, who for many years served as executive director of D.C.’s Whitman-Walker Clinic, served as the Ward 1 Council member from 1999 to January 2015. Graham lost his re-election bid in 2014 to incumbent D.C. Council member Brianne Nadeau (D-Ward 1), who chose not to run for re-election this year. Graham passed away in June 2017.
Gay attorney David Catania served on the Council from 1997, when he won in a special election as a Republican, until 2015 after becoming an independent and giving up his Council seat to run for mayor in 2014. He lost his mayoral bid to incumbent D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser.
Raj, who also identifies as a democratic socialist, is among D.C. Democratic mayoral candidate Janeese Lewis George and Democratic At-Large D.C. Council candidate Oye Owolewa who are also democratic socialists and who won in the primary and are expected to win in November.
Political observers have said their primary victories and expected victories in the general election indicate many D.C. voters are seeking candidates with a perceived liberal, leftist perspective to address concerns, among other things, over the high cost of living, especially housing and rental costs.
Like nearly all candidates running for public office in D.C., those identifying as democratic socialists, especially Raj, have expressed strong support on LGBTQ issues.
Raj currently serves as communications manager for a progressive policy advocacy organization called Local Progress, which represents local elected officials throughout the country “fighting for racial and economic justice,” according to its website.
In an interview with the Washington Blade, Raj said she believes many LGBTQ D.C. residents are facing the same economic hardships as non-LGBTQ residents, and she plans to address those issues if elected.
“You know, we see it in D.C., in New York, in Philly, in Colorado, that it is getting very difficult for people to live and afford necessities like housing and childcare,” she told the Blade. “And over the past two years, where it felt like establishment Democrats on a national level were unwilling to stand with immigrants or queer and trans people, democratic socialists have been constantly fighting for everybody – for immigrants, for people of color, for queer and trans people, for women, for people who need abortions – things like that,” she said.
“I think that D.C. has done a really important and good job of trying to protect LGBTQ+ residents across D.C. in the face of the Trump administration,” Raj added.
“But I think especially with the Supreme Court decision around trans people and with just always the ongoing threat that the Trump administration could start bearing down on, like transgender affirming care and things like that, the next Council is going to have a really important task behind it to make sure that we’re trying to protect queer and trans people across D.C. as much as possible – including by making sure the Office of Human Rights has the support that they need,” she said.
Raj said the economic policies she plans to push for will help small businesses, including LGBTQ-owned businesses such as bars.
“I support making sure that workers have the stability that they need with dignified wages and with benefits,” she said. “And at the same time finding ways to cut costs for small businesses – whether exploring commercial rent stabilization, pushing back on costs of utilities, helping raise revenue by bringing back Streeteries and things like that,” she said.
The following interview has been edited for length. For the full interview, visit washingtonblade.com.
BLADE: As you may know, the LGBTQ Victory Fund, which endorsed you and gay candidate Miguel Deramo in the June 16 primary, issued a statement after the primary saying they are pleased that you will likely become the first female LGBTQ member of the D.C. Council. But with that as a backdrop, are you aware of any other news media outlet aside from the Washington Blade that have identified you as an LGBTQ candidate as you self-identify on your campaign website as a queer woman of color? We are not aware of any other media reports on your LGBT identity.
RAJ: I think – I can’t list them off – but I think other publications have included the fact that I’m bi and I consider myself queer and their outreach about it.
BLADE: With that as a backdrop, where do you see things stand now going forward to the next D.C. Council session that you are expected to be on, where do you see things stand for LGBTQ residents of Ward 1 as well as citywide?
RAJ: I think that D.C. has done a really important and good job of trying to protect LGBTQ+ residents across D.C. in the face of the Trump administration. But I think especially with the recent Supreme Court decision around trans people and with just always the ongoing threat that the Trump administration could start bearing down on, like transgender affirming care and things like that, the next Council is going to have a really important task behind it to make sure that we’re trying to protect queer and trans people across D.C as much as possible – including by making sure the Office of Human Rights has the support that they need.
Trying to invest in and supporting housing vouchers, especially for LGBTQ+ youth, who are often more faced with homelessness than other youth. And that we are supporting schools and health clinics to make sure that LGBTQ+ students and patients are able to feel safe in good institutions.
BLADE: To go back to the D.C. primary election, a single Republican candidate named Jett Jasper ran unopposed for the Ward 1 Council seat. Do you know anything about him?
RAJ: Yeah, Jett and I have been in a debate back in March with all of the Democratic primary candidates … and he and I went around a little bit. So, I’ve met him.
BLADE: One of the interesting outcomes of the June 16 D.C. Democratic primary is the victories of candidates who like you and mayoral candidate Janeese Lewis George — and at least two others — identify as democratic socialists. What message do you see that as providing the city?
RAJ: I think it is an important message that I think people see democratic socialist candidates as the candidates who will fight for them in the face of a cost-of-living crisis that is driving people out of D.C. and in the face of the Trump administration that’s threatening our community.
BLADE: What response do you have to those, including some in the business community, who have said the policies proposed by democratic socialist candidates would hurt the city’s economy and create budget problems that can harm a lot of people, including the LGBTQ community?
RAJ: I would say that the economic crisis that we’re seeing right now is a result of a combination of conservative, neoliberal economic policies at the local level and of the fascists in office at the federal level. You know, we are in tough economic times, not because of democratic socialism but because of rigid capitalism right now.
And I think we learned from the ‘80s and Reagan that trickle-down economics doesn’t work. And so, when people are suffering, when people are getting laid off, when people are getting health care funding cut, what we need to do at the local level is invest in people and make sure that our recovery is centered on making sure that people have housing, making sure that people have health care, making sure people have food assistance, instead of just giving money to the top and hoping that it tickles down.
BLADE: The city’s chief financial officer has said the city may be facing a significant budget deficit in the next fiscal year possibly because of congressional action in cutting the city’s budget. What are your thoughts on that?
RAJ: I think there are all these options ahead of us. I think what this past year has shown us is that D.C. needs to have a much more proactive relationship on the Hill. And especially next year we will likely be coming into a Democratic Congress. We need to be advocating for ourselves in building those relationships with Congress members, with senators. I think we took a very localized approach prior to the Trump administration.
And that put us on the defense with a lot of the budget cuts and things they were bringing to us. And now is the time when we need to proactively advocate for D.C. and advocate for eventually statehood so that we have totally the economy that we need. And in the meantime, there are a number of revenue raisers available to us that we have not been exploring. They are mainly trying to implement a business activity tax that would affect specifically large businesses that don’t pay franchise tax in D.C.
They are exploring a capital gains tax. Trying to put or institute a wealth tax, trying to put in a tax like in New York where people who have secondary residences here would be taxed on those secondary residences. And so, we have options available to us. And I think it’s a matter of if we have the political will or whether our Council is willing to explore those in the next year or two.
BLADE: One issue raised by the local LGBTQ group GLAA D.C. is whether candidates for the D.C. Council would support decriminalizing sex work among consenting adults. Did you address that in their candidate questionnaire?
RAJ: Yes, I do support decriminalizing sex work. I think there are a number of reasons. Sex work disproportionately impacts transgender women, especially trans women of color. And it leads to health and safety issues when we criminalize sex work. People can’t seek the healthcare that they need. People can’t report violence that they are facing. And so, I support decriminalizing sex work as part of a crime reduction in a way to allow people to be able to keep themselves safe.
BLADE: Regarding economic issues and local businesses, we now have at least 20 gay or LGBTQ bars or nightclubs in the city. Some have said they would be negatively impacted by the so-called tip wage issue that could require them to pay a full minimum wage. What are your thoughts on that?
RAJ: My perspective is like – Ward 1 has like seven or eight LGBTQ businesses and also there are also so many small businesses in general that I want to make sure that we support. And we can both support small businesses and workers at the same time. I support making sure that workers have the stability that they need with dignified wages and with benefits. And at the same time finding ways to cut costs for small businesses – whether exploring commercial rent stabilization, pushing back on costs of utilities, helping raise revenue by bringing back Streeteries and things like that.
BLADE: One of the Ward 1 LGBTQ business owners, David Perruzza, owner of the LGBTQ bars Pitchers and A League of Her Own, has said he has been negatively impacted by high rents.
RAJ: Yeah, exactly. So, I think rent is one of the biggest costs that small businesses face. And within D.C. there are a lot of vacant store fronts, and commercial rent stabilization is a very new idea. And landlords look at it differently. But I think it is a way we should look at supporting small businesses.
BLADE: Do you have any thoughts on how our new mayor should address and continue the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, which has been in place now for 20 years? The new mayor will have to decide whether to retain or appoint a new director of that office.
RAJ: I can’t speak to those specific decisions. But I’m really excited to work with our incoming mayor, because she has been a really strong advocate for the LGBTQ+ community over the years. And I trust that she will maintain and support the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs. I would also like to see the continued support of the expansion of a lot of the programs of that office. and especially supporting organizations and supporting a possible LGBTQ fund for services and organizations in D.C.
BLADE: Will the budget issue play a role in that?
RAJ: Yeah – but I think especially right now in the political moment we’re in with the Trump administration, to just make sure we’re celebrating the trans and queer communities and maintaining or expanding programs at that office will really be important.
BLADE: Do you have any thoughts on the criticism Mayor Bowser has received from some local activists who say she has not spoken out strongly enough against the Trump administration’s attempts to curtail D.C. home rule while her supporters argue that she has helped to discourage Trump from taking further action to curtail D.C. home rule?
RAJ: From my perspective in Ward 1, I have seen nearly a year of my neighbors getting disappeared and living in terror. And I don’t believe that that is worth any sort of hypothetical threat of what Trump might do in our trying to protect home rule. I understand wanting to be strategic. But our responsibility as elected officials is to stand up for our communities whenever they are under threat.
BLADE: Are the individuals you are referring to who disappeared and who are under threat immigrants?
RAJ: Yes.
BLADE: Is there anything else you might want to say regarding your constituents in Ward 1, particularly the LGBTQ constituents?
RAJ: I’ll just add maybe one last note. We talk about the affordability crisis and that again bears down on the queer and trans community especially. A lot of people are struggling with housing costs and utilities. A lot of queer and trans people specifically are more likely to live in poverty and not make enough in wages. And so, we are trying to tackle the cost-of-living crisis that I think impacts the LGBTQ+ community as well.
District of Columbia
Campaign launched to elect more LGBTQ candidates to ANC seats
Capital Stonewall Democrats behind Queering ANCs effort
The Capital Stonewall Democrats, D.C.’s largest local LGBTQ political group, announced on July 7 it has launched a campaign to help elect large numbers of LGBTQ candidates to the city’s Advisory Neighborhood Commissions.
The D.C. local government is believed to be unique among U.S. cities in currently having 46 Advisory Neighborhood Commissions consisting of 345 single-member districts in neighborhoods throughout the city in which unpaid Advisory Neighborhood Commissioners are elected for two-year terms.
The commissions are charged with considering a wide range of policies and programs impacting their neighborhoods, including traffic, parking, recreation, street improvements, liquor licenses, zoning, economic development, police protection, sanitation and trash collection, and D.C.’s annual budget, according to the ANC website.
Although the ANCs do not have authority to set or reject policies or proposals, such as applications for liquor licenses, city agencies are required to give “great weight” to ANC recommendations, according to the law creating the ANCs.
Kent Boese, a gay former ANC commissioner, currently serves as executive director of the D.C. Office of ANCs.
“We are launching the most ambitious hyperlocal LGBTQ+ candidate pipeline initiative in the country,” said Stevie McCarty, the Capital Stonewall Democrats president, in a July 7 statement that announced the Queering ANCs campaign.
“As an ANC member, I know firsthand how these seats shape our neighborhoods, from housing and public safety to sanitation,” McCarty says in the statement. “I’m proud to lead this effort to ensure more LGBTQ+ Washingtonians see themselves as leaders in their communities,” he said.
The ANC Rainbow Caucus, which was created by LGBTQ ANC members, shows on its website that there are currently 38 caucus members consisting of elected LGBTQ ANC commissioners serving in the current 2025-2026 two-year term.
The website shows there are LGBTQ commissioners who are caucus members in each of the city’s eight wards, with six in Ward 1, eight in Ward 2, one in Ward 3, six in Ward 4, five in Ward 5, three in Ward 6, eight in Ward 7, and one in Ward 8.
The Washington Blade couldn’t immediately determine how many of them will be running for re-election in D.C.’s general election in November. But McCarty said Capital Stonewall Democrats hopes to recruit many more LGBTQ candidates to run for ANC seats.
The D.C. Board of Elections website shows the deadline for filing 25 required petition signatures to be placed on the ballot is Aug. 5.
A Queering ANCs website launched this week by Capital Stonewall Democrats provides details on how to run for an ANC seat and offers help for those interested in running.
“Think of someone in your building, neighborhood, friend group, community organization, or professional network who cares deeply about D.C. and would make a strong leader,” McCarty says in his statement. “Send them QueeringANCs.org and personally ask them to consider running,” he said.
The website can be accessed at QueeringANCs.org.
District of Columbia
Mary’s House founder, CEO retires
Dr. Imani Woody played leading role in opening DC’s first home for LGBTQ seniors
The board of directors for Mary’s House for Older Adults, DC’s first official home dedicated to providing affordable housing for LGBTQ seniors, announced on July 7 that its founding president and CEO, Dr. Imani Woody, has retired.
Woody, who holds a PhD in Human Services, is credited with playing a leading role over many years in arranging both city and private funding needed to construct and operate the Mary’s House three-story building located at 401 Anacostia Road, S.E., in the city’s Fort Dupont neighborhood.
The house, which opened in March 2025, with a grand opening ceremony held in May 2025, includes 15 single-occupancy residential units and more than 5,000 square feet of shared communal living space.
“It is with profound gratitude and hearts full of celebration that the board of directors of Mary’s House for Older Adults, DC (MHFOA) announces the retirement of our visionary founder, Dr. Imani Woody, from her role as president and CEO,” the Mary’s House board says in a statement.
“Dr. Woody’s journey with Mary’s House began with her vision and a kitchen table gathering of women with a bold, urgent, and loving vision: to create safe, affirming, affordable housing for LGBTQ/SGL older adults in Washington, DC,” the statement says.
It adds, “What started as a dream has grown into DC’s first affordable LGBTQ+/SGL affirming communal living space for adults 60 and over, a 15-room community residence at 401 Anacostia Road in Southeast Washington.”
The statement says Woody will continue to serve on Mary’s House board.
“The board will be sharing information about the leadership transition process in the coming weeks,” the statement continues. “We are committed to honoring Dr. Woody’s legacy by ensuring Mary’s House continues to thrive and grow in faithful service to LGBTQ/SGL elders experiencing housing insecurity and isolation.”
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