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QUEERY: Kyle Suib

The fitness instructor answers 20 queer questions

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Kyle Suib, gay news, Washington Blade
Kyle Suib (Photo courtesy of Suib)

Personal trainer Kyle Suib is committed to staying as dedicated to his fitness goals as he was before the lockdown and is using his skills to teach online classes to help bolster his flagging income.

ā€œCommit to the self you were before the lockdown,ā€ the 31-year-old Wilmington, Del., native says. ā€œYou havenā€™t changed. You have the same fitness goals you had before. The setting has just changed. If you have a kitchen, you have a gym.ā€

Pre-pandemic, Suib worked as a group fitness instructor and trainer at Equinox, SweatBox and VIDA. Now heā€™s teaching online. Those interested can find him on social media. Heā€™s also working on a website and YouTube channel.

ā€œSince the pandemic, all gyms have shut down,ā€ he says. ā€œWe were suddenly forced into a virtual class setting without any formal introduction. I also knew I could not rely absolutely on my employers due to the lack of revenue, so I decided to branch out on my own. I owe it all to the amazing people who have been taking my classes for years.ā€

Suib says heā€™s had ā€œups and downsā€ during lockdown. Heā€™s kept busy learning to market his online class offerings. Heā€™s also a circus performer and tattoo enthusiast. He got his first ink in 2010, got his right leg done last year and plans more.

As for fitness, he says the best approach is to ā€œcommit.ā€

ā€œDonā€™t just say eventually or maybe to doing something. Make the commitment because in the end, you can do it.ā€

Suib came to Washington nine years ago for love and work. He and his boyfriend of a year-and-a-half, Cameron Ragan, live together in Mount Vernon. He enjoys circus arts, food, dogs, training, cartoons and friends in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

2009 and my mother.

Who’s your LGBTQ hero?

Bianca Del Rio

What LGBTQ stereotype most annoys you?

All gays are alike. That a lack of hyper masculinity means youā€™re weak.

What’s your proudest professional achievement?

My proudest fitness professional achievement was actually becoming a cycle instructor. However, as a performer, my first time performing at Echo Stage was a life-changing experience.

What terrifies you?

Spiders, zombies and not being noticed.

What’s something trashy or vapid you love?

Reality cooking shows

What’s your greatest domestic skill?

I donā€™t have those. I walk the dogs.

What’s your favorite LGBTQ movie or show?

ā€œThe Birdcageā€

Whatā€™s your social media pet peeve?

Lying and political attacks on your own community.

What would the end of the LGBTQ movement look like to you?

Being able to walk anywhere and not be afraid.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Being fake in public

What was your religion, if any, as a child and what is it today?

Iā€™m Jewish, but do not practice.

What’s D.C.ā€™s best hidden gem?

The D.C. Capitol Ruins.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Britney shaving her head.

What celebrity death hit you hardest?

Patrick Swayze

If you could redo one moment from your past, what would it be?

I would have come out sooner and more confidently.

What are your obsessions?

My dogs, circus, making fitness open to EVERYONE.

Finish this sentence ā€” It’s about damn time:

ā€¦ you took my class!

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish I knew what boys to stay away from and that hanging upside down would become my favorite thing to do!

Why Washington?

Itā€™s certainly a bubble! I have the most amazing support network and friends here!

Kyle Suib (Photo by Saltphotos.com; courtesy Suib)
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Author of new book empowers Black ā€˜fatā€™ femme voices

After suicidal thoughts, attacks from far right, a roadmap to happiness

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(Book cover image via Amazon)

In 2017, Jon Paul was suicidal. In nearly every place Paul encountered, there were signs that consistently reminded the transgender community that their presence in America by the far right is unwelcomed.

Former President Donald Trump’s anti-trans rhetoric is “partly” responsible for Paul’s suicidal contemplation. 

“I’m driving out of work, and I’m seeing all of these Trump flags that are telling me that I could potentially lose my life over just being me and wanting to be who I am,” Paul said. “So, were they explicitly the issue? No, but did they add to it? I highly would say yes.”

During Trump’s time as president, he often disapproved of those who identified as transgender in America; the former president imposed a ban on transgender individuals who wanted to join the U.S. military.

“If the world keeps telling me that I don’t have a reason for me to be here and the world is going to keep shaming me for being here. Then why live?” Paul added. 

The rhetoric hasn’t slowed and has been a messaging tool Trump uses to galvanize his base by saying that Democrats like Vice President Kamala Harris “want to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.” Trump made that claim at the presidential debate against Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris.  

Not only do Trump’s actions hurt Paul, but they also affect 17-year-old Jacie MichelleĆ©, a transgender person at Friendly Senior High School.

“When former President Donald J. Trump speaks on transgender [individuals] in a negative light, it saddens my heart and makes me wonder what he thinks his personal gain is from making these comments will be,” MichelleĆ© said.

“When these comments are made toward trans immigrants or the transgender community, it baffles me because it shows me that the times are changing and not for the better,” MichelleĆ© added. 

The Congressional Black Caucus Foundation responded to Trump’s rhetoric that opposes the transgender community and how it affects democracy through programming at its Annual Legislative ConferenceĀ in Washington.

“Our agendas are not set by what other groups are saying we should or shouldn’t do. It is set by our communities and what we know the needs and the most pressing needs are for the Black community, and we know that our global LGBTQAI+ communities have needs; they are a part of our community,” said Nicole Austin-Hillery, president and CEO of the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation.

One pressing need is suicide prevention, which theĀ National Institute of HealthĀ deems necessary, as 82% of transgender individuals have reported having suicidal thoughts, while 40% have attempted suicide. This research applies to individuals like Paul, who reported contemplating suicide.

But instead of choosing to self-harm, Paul metĀ Latrice Royale, a fourth-season contestant on ā€œRuPaul’s Drag Race,ā€ who was awarded the title of Miss Congeniality while on the show. Paul said that meeting brought meaning when there was barely any left.

“It was like I met them at a time where I really, truly, not only needed to see them, but I needed to be able to actively know ‘girl’ you can live and you can have a really a good life, right? And Latrice was that for me,” Paul said.

Though Trump is representative of a lot of movements that are clashing with society, theĀ Democratic PartyĀ is actively pushing back against anti-transgender movements and says there is ā€œstill much work to be done.ā€

Not only did Royale model success for Paul, but they also share the same appearance. Paul proudly identifies as “fat” and uses this descriptor as a political vehicle to empower others in the book “Black Fat Femme, Revealing the Power of Visibly Queer Voices in the Media and Learning to Love Yourself.”

“My book, my work as a Black, fat femme, is inherently political. I say this at the very front of my book,” Paul said. “All three of those monikers are all three things in this world that the world hates and is working overtime to get rid of.”

“They’re trying to kill me as a Black person; they’re trying to get rid of me as a fat person. They are trying to get rid of me as a queer person,” Paul added.

Besides Paul’s political statements, the book’s mission is to give those without resources a blueprint to make it across the finish line.

“I want them to look at all the stories that I share in this and be able to say, ‘wow,’ not only do I see myself, but now I have a roadmap and how I can navigate all of these things that life throws at me that I never had, and I think that’s why I was so passionate about selling and writing the book,” Paul said.

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Jussie Smollett asserts innocence while promoting new film

ā€˜I know what happened and soon you all will tooā€™

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Jussie Smollettā€™s case remains on appeal. His new film is out later this month. (Photo by Starfrenzy/Bigstock)

Jussie Smollett, the actor and musician who was convicted of lying to the police about being the victim of a homophobic and racist hate crime that he staged in 2019, attended a screening of his latest film ā€œThe Lost Hollidayā€ in a packed auditorium of the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library on Aug. 28. 

In an interview with the Washington Blade that took place before the screening, he continued to assert his innocence and responded to concerns within the LGBTQ community that his case has discouraged real victims from reporting hate crimes.Ā 

The former ā€œEmpireā€ star wrote, produced, and directed ā€œThe Lost Holliday,ā€ his second feature film to direct following 2021ā€™s ā€œB-Boy Blues.ā€ Produced through Smollettā€™s company, SuperMassive Movies, he stars in the film alongside Vivica A. Fox, who also served as a producer and attended the library screening with other cast members.

In the film, Smollett plays Jason Holliday, a man grappling with the sudden death of his husband Damien (Jabari Redd). Things are complicated when Damienā€™s estranged mother, Cassandra Marshall (Fox), arrives in Los Angeles from Detroit for the funeral, unaware of Damienā€™s marriage to Jason or of their adopted daughter. Initially, Jason and Cassandra clash ā€” Cassandraā€™s subtle homophobia and Jasonā€™s lingering resentment over her treatment of Damien fuel their tension ā€“ā€“ but they begin to bond as they navigate their grief together. 

Smollett, Fox, Redd, and Brittany S. Hall, who plays Jasonā€™s sister Cheyenne, discussed the film in an interview with the Washington Blade. Highlighting the wide representation of queer identities in the film and among the cast, they stressed that the story is fundamentally about family and love.

ā€œWhat we really want people to get from this movie is love,ā€ Smollett said. ā€œIt’s beneficial for people to see other people that are not like themselves, living the life that they can identify with. Because somehow, what it does is that it opens up the world a little bit.ā€

Smollett drew from personal experiences with familial estrangement and grief during the making of the film, which delves into themes of parenthood, reconciliation, and the complexities of family relationships.

ā€œI grew up with a father who was not necessarily the most accepting of gay people, and I grew up with a mother who was rather the opposite. I had a safe space in my home to go to, but I also had a not-so-safe space in my home, which was my father,ā€ he said.

ā€œThe moment that he actually heard the words that his son was gay, as disconnected and estranged as we were, he instantly changed. He called me, after not speaking to him for years, and apologized for how difficult it must have been all of those years of me growing up. And then a couple years later, he passed away.ā€

Smollett began working on ā€œThe Lost Hollidayā€ eight years ago, with Fox in mind for the role of Cassandra from the outset. He said that he had started collaborating on the project with one of the biggest producers in Hollywood when ā€œā€˜2019ā€™ happened.ā€

In January 2019, Smollett told Chicago police that he had been physically attacked in a homophobic and racist hate crime. He initially received an outpouring of support, in particular from the LGBTQ and Black communities. However, police soon charged him with filing a false police report, alleging that he had staged the attack. 

After prosecutors controversially dismissed the initial charges in exchange for community service and the forfeiture of his $10,000 bond, Smollett was recharged with the same offenses in 2020. Meanwhile, his character in ā€œEmpireā€ was written out of the show. 

In 2021, a Cook County jury found him guilty on five of the six charges of disorderly conduct for lying to police, and he was sentenced to 150 days in jail and 30 months of probation, along with a $120,000 restitution payment to the city of Chicago for the overtime costs incurred by police investigating his initial hate crime claim.

LGBTQ people are nine times more likely than non-LGBTQ people to be victims of violent hate crimes, according to a study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law. Upon Smollettā€™s conviction, some in the LGBTQ community felt that the case would discredit victims of hate crimes and make it more difficult to report future such crimes. 

Smollett seemed to acknowledge these concerns, but denied that he staged the attack. 

ā€œI know what happened and soon you all will too,ā€ he told the Blade. ā€œIf someone reported a crime and it wasnā€™t the truth, that would actually make it more difficult [to report future crimes], but I didnā€™t. Any belief that they have about the person that Iā€™ve been played out to be, sure, but that person is not me, never has been,ā€ he said. ā€œSo I stand with my community. I love my community and I protect and defend my community until Iā€™m bloody in my fist.ā€ 

ā€œAnd for all the people who, in fact, have been assaulted or attacked and then have been lied upon and made it to seem like they made it up, I’m sorry that you have to constantly prove your trauma, and I wish that it wasn’t that way, and I completely identify with you,ā€ he added.

An Illinois Appellate Court upheld his guilty verdict last year, but Smollett has since appealed to the Illinois Supreme Court, which in March agreed to hear the case. He has served six days in jail so far, as his sentence has been put on hold pending the results of his appeals. 

The screening at the MLK Jr. Library concluded with a conversation between Smollett, Fox, and David J. Johns, CEO and executive director of the National Black Justice Coalition. Smollett discussed his current mindset and his plans for the future, revealing he is working on a third movie and will be releasing new music soon. 

ā€œIā€™m in a space where life is being kind,ā€ he said. 

ā€œThe Lost Hollidayā€ recently secured a distribution deal for a limited release with AMC Theatres and will be out in theaters on Sept. 27. 

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DIK Bar cements its status as LGBTQ institution, prepares to expand

Dupont Cantina coming soon to the former Malbec space

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Michael Askarinam and his brother Tony opened Dupont Italian Kitchen nearly 40 years ago. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Two immigrant brothers who could not return home, Michael and Tony Askarinam, turned instead to making a community space of their own. Nearly 40 years after debuting their casual, gay-friendly restaurant, the (straight) owners of Dupont Italian Kitchen are expanding, reinforcing their status as a center of gay life on 17th Street. By early fall, they plan to debut a casual Mexican restaurant, complete with a spacious patio, tons of tacos, and big margarita energy that will please outdoor diners and karaoke singers upstairs alike.

DIK Bar, as it is affectionately known, still serves fan-favorite lasagna and eggplant parmesan, though no longer for a cool $4.25 from its opening menu. Michael, who moved to the U.S. from Iran to study in 1974, graduated in 1980 ā€“ less than a year after the Iranian revolution. Part of a Jewish family, he felt unsafe going back to his homeland with the new regime, and has never returned. Instead, he and his brother, who also fled, opened a restaurant that still sits on the same corner as the day it opened. Though he is not Italian, Michael had plenty of relevant experience: He had worked in Italian restaurants during summers while studying, and another brother owned the now-closed restaurant Spaghetti Garden (where Pitchers stands today). The menu, he admits, pulled heavily from his family influence.

Dupont Italian Kitchen (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Opening on 17th Street in the mid-ā€˜80s, the brothers knew the community vibe. Annieā€™s, just a block away, was already well known as an LGBTQ-friendly institution. At the time, he says, the street was a bit grittier ā€” not the well-manicured lane it is today. Still, they decidedĀ to open a restaurant and Italian Kitchen was born. His brother at Spaghetti Garden suggested adding ā€œDupontā€ in front to help ground the location, and DIK came into being. ā€œAt the beginning I admit I was a little uncomfortable with the name, having young kids. But it grew on me,ā€ he says. Leaning in, heā€™s embraced the name.

A few years later, the restaurant expanded vertically: taking over the apartments upstairs to turn it into a bar; a new chef came in who introduced DIK Barā€™s popular brunch. But he and his brother never really relinquished the cozy space that he had envisioned. Each pushing 80 years old, they come in nearly daily: cooking, bartending, even washing dishes.

DIK has evolved, but only slightly. Eggplant and chicken parm, lasagna, pizza, pasta, and a $1 garden salad: the opening menu from the ā€˜80s reads like a genuine old-school Italian joint. Today, you will still find classic gems, though now they are nestled alongside Brussels sprouts and arugula salads.

As longtime patrons know, the restaurant is more than the sum of its pasta parts. ā€œItā€™s an atmosphere where everybody is welcome. I got that from my mother,ā€ he added, noting that she had experienced discrimination as part of the Jewish minority in Iran. Given this background, it was logical for them to build a space where ā€œyou have a place to be who you are and feel comfortable.ā€

In 2020, as the restaurantā€™s lease was expiring, he had the opportunity to buy the building, which included adjacent Argentine restaurant Malbec. ā€œThe landlord let us know that they felt we deserve to own the building after being here for so long,ā€ says Michael.

It was a blessing; to him, it meant the sustainability of Dupont Italian Kitchen. Earlier this year, when Malbecā€™s lease expired, they decided against finding another tenant and instead they would make it their own. The two eateries already shared one storage basement, where the Malbec kitchen was located. Saving costs by sharing procurement, staff, and utilities (as well as liquor), they took the leap. ā€œPlus, we can be our own great tenant,ā€ he said with a smile.

The new Dupont Cantina is coming soon. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The refurbishment thus far has included a new HVAC system and a new bar. The new restaurant allows them access to a more spacious kitchen that can cook up sizzling Mexican favorites with speed and in volume. Customers at upstairs DIK Bar have always requested more bar-style finger food, he says, and tacos are better suited to a drinking atmosphere than fettuccine alfredo or creamy Cajun sausage pasta. Mexican food is also well suited to the patio. He also has a family tie to Mexico: relatives own Johnny Pistolas in Adams Morgan. The rest of the menu is being developed, including shareable small plates and ā€œMexican pizza.ā€ Drinks will feature tequila, mezcal, and margaritas; and there is a happy hour in the works. ā€œIā€™m hoping this expansion can help cement our future,ā€ he says.

The opening timeline is early fall.

Looking back on almost 40 years and looking forward with the expansion, he mused that the restaurant still maintains its authenticity and its central role in LGBTQ life in D.C. ā€œIā€™m really proud of the fact that it caters to this community. We are an institution, we want to continue to be part of this place.ā€

Michael Askarinam at DIK Bar. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
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