a&e features
Most Eligible LGBTQ Singles 2022
Our annual roundup just in time for Valentine’s Day
D.C. is home to tens of thousands of busy professionals working hard by day and searching for love by night. Each year, we look to highlight some of our city’s most interesting singles just in time for a Valentine’s Day date.
Come celebrate on Friday, February 11th at our LGBTQ Skating Night at the Wharf Ice Rink. All the details can be found HERE.
Kristen Beckman, 29, occupational therapist

How do you identify? Lesbian
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who challenges me, holds me accountable, a good communicator, kind and adventurous.
Biggest turn off? Superficial, rudeness, doesn’t try to see things from other perspectives.
Biggest turn on? Open-mindedness, spontaneous, cares about their health.
Hobbies: I play ice hockey for the Chesapeake Bay Lightning — come watch a game! I love hiking, camping, and just getting back into mountain biking.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? it’s definitely interesting out here. At times it seems harder to connect due to more online dating. It seems harder to meet people in person due to people staying in more.
Pets/kids/neither? I have two cats and a dog and definitely open to more!
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Hmm, I want to say yes, but depending on the differences, it could be tough to look past.
Celebrity crush: Missy Peregrym
One obscure fact about yourself: I used to play football in the LFL, it was an interesting time.
Jarrod Brodsky, 31, Healthcare Lawyer

How do you identify? Gay man
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is grounded, outgoing, authentic, comfortable expressing emotions, and who doesn’t take himself too seriously.
Biggest turn off? Apathy.
Biggest turn on? Silliness and spontaneity.
Hobbies: Swimming, karaoke, reading, meditation, and working out.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? I prefer making in-person connections, and COVID has definitely made that more difficult. At the same time, it has pushed me to be more outgoing when I do have opportunities for live interactions.
Pets/kids/neither? Dad to a dog and two cats.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Yes, I like being around people who challenge my way of thinking.
Celebrity crush: Jake Gyllenhaal
One obscure fact about yourself: I was a springboard diver through college.
Katie Harrington, 35, Business Owner/Hairstylist

How do you identify? Queer
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who will rap in the car with me while on our way to have crabs and beer. Someone who is also down to stay in and cook a meal together while watching our favorite show. My ride or die.
Biggest turn off? Bad tippers and not putting your shopping cart back.
Biggest turn on? Confidence! Someone who loves themselves and treats others with kindness and compassion. Butch/top energy!
Hobbies: Spending time with my niece Edith, hanging out with my friends, Peloton, watching thrillers and documentaries, dancing to ‘90s/2000s rap and R&B.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? COVID has made dating pretty non-existent but that’s OK. I have spent the past two years opening my own business and really working on myself. I have been able to focus on becoming the best version of me so that when the world does slowly open up, I’ll be ready!
Pets/kids/neither? My dog Hari is my best friend. He is a senior Pekingese that I rescued right before the pandemic. He has been with me through quarantine, breakups, and is the sweetest guy. I honestly feel like we were meant to find each other.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? No.
Celebrity crush: Lily Rose (country singer), Sarah Paulson, Lena Waithe
One obscure fact about yourself: I have a B.A. in Dance from Point Park University.
Kareem ‘Mr.Bake’ Queeman, 35, Entrepreneur and TV Personality

How do you identify? Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? I appreciate a person with a sense of humor, with an understanding heart and mind and a drive to be a better version of themselves.
Biggest turn off? Someone who is unappreciative and lacks commitment and drive.
Hobbies: You can find me baking/cooking, reading, traveling — anything dealing with the arts.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? I actually haven’t really been dating in COVID. Chatting with people but no real connections. During COVID I’ve been working on myself.
Pets/kids/neither? I don’t have any, but open to the conversation of them.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? It depends — I’ll say this: I’m open to the conversation.
Celebrity crush: Jeremy Pope, Anthony Mackie, Adam Levine
One obscure fact about yourself: I love getting cards. And been collecting everyone I’ve received since 1994.
Bryan Frank, 46, Scientist

How do you identify? Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who likes to be active and likes to be challenged. Triathlete? Hiker? Awesome! Kickball? Flag Football? Yoga? That’s cool too! A guy who: needs to laugh, sometimes even at themselves; is kind to themselves and others; can be equally happy staying in and binge watching the “Mandalorian” with a bottle of tempranillo or grabbing tacos from a food truck before catching “Rent” at the Signature Theatre; and will hold my hand as we do these things.
Biggest turn off? Taking yourself too seriously. Disrespecting others. A bad kisser.
Biggest turn on? Someone who has the confidence and desire to push their limits. A guy comfortable belting out show tunes in the car at the top of their lungs. And to be honest: great abs will always catch my eye.
Hobbies: I enjoy swimming, biking, and running (some might call that person a triathlete, I might be one). In addition, I really enjoy hiking (like to the top of Old Rag to watch the sunrise), anything that combines my love of cycling, vineyards/breweries, and traveling (think biking through the Provence region of France with stops for wine tasting), or watching a good movie (has anyone seen the new “Dune”?) or a good TV show (have you watched “Young Royals”?).
How has COVID impacted your dating life? As someone who works in the biotech field with COVID daily, in the beginning of the pandemic, thinking about doing anything outside of my “quaran-family,” like dating, was seriously stressful. Now that vaccines and therapeutics are available, I am excited to return to in-person dating.
Pets/kids/neither? All the things. I have two cats (Stitch and Kona). I love dogs. I would love to have kids, if that’s in the cards for me.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Yes, but someone who is anti-vax or anti-science should probably not hit me up.
Celebrity crush: Orlando Bloom for a night in/Paul Rudd for a night out.
One obscure fact about yourself: I am starting to play the piano again. And weirdly, I can still play Beethoven’s Fur Elise from memory 30+ years later.
Cara Eser, 32, DJ/Producer

How do you identify? Trans girl who likes girls
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who can handle my quirks and keep up with my motormouth, likes spontaneity but doesn’t get mad when I need security. Someone who communicates, likes to laugh, and is willing to put air in my tires because I’m just simply bad at it.
Biggest turn off? TERFs, fatphobia, being rude to people in the service industry.
Biggest turn on? Good teeth that aren’t perfect, wit, and people who can read the room.
Hobbies: Avid cinephile — especially genre film — and coming up with the perfect things to say even if I’m 10 minutes too late.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? What dating life?
Pets/kids/neither? Allergic to dogs and cats, but I love them both and suffer happily. I don’t have kids, but would like to be a mom one day.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? *Sips tea in silence*
Celebrity crush: Recently it’s been Melanie Lynskey from “Yellowjackets,” but ‘90s-era Drew Barrymore will always have my heart.
One obscure fact about yourself: I sat across the aisle from Dennis Rodman once.
Bryan Van Den Oever, 41, Director of Marketing & Events

How do you identify? Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? May I write “A big <@<&”? No. Okay. Seriously, he’s got to be ready to sling around his sense of humor because I love to laugh. Laughing together is bonding and very important to me. The rest of what I’m looking for is a gay cliché. You know, long walks in dark alleys or tall, dark, and with a traumatic back story.
Biggest turn off? Pretentious folx who care only about themselves or their place in the world. I’m a cis white guy. Trust me, we are the worst at being this type of person.
Biggest turn on? A man who has mastered the art of flirting. Bonus points if he directs the flirts toward me.
Hobbies: Typical geek stuff, board games, video games, reading, and anything Marvel. Once upon a time, I did a lot of physical hobbies, and maybe this is the year I go back to some of them.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? Profoundly. Red Bear Brewing Co. opened in March 2019, we had a smashing first year, but COVID-19 hit us and everyone in the service industry HARD! The brewery is my dream, so it’s taken all my attention and focus. As the ongoing pandemic has its ups and downs, I’ve realized it’s time to focus on me and my personal life. So, I dumped anxiety. He just wasn’t doing it for me anymore.
Pets/kids/neither? Bring them on! I love people and animals, so I would like either or both in my life. Preferably with a hubby by my side.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Did you watch the news on Jan. 6, 2021? Republicans are a menace to everyone. No thank you.
Celebrity crush: Date: Michael B. Jordan. Dinner: Rebecca Sugar. Friends: Elmo.
One obscure fact about yourself: Before Red Bear Brewing, I was a certified Nuclear Medicine Technologist, performing diagnostic imaging using radioactive isotopes. Science is fascinating, and it works! Get vaccinated.
Adam Clark, 38, NGO Content Manager

How do you identify? Queer
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone that aspires to greatness and exudes peace.
Biggest turn off? Ethnocentrism, sarcasm, apathy.
Biggest turn on? Emotional intelligence, versatility, faith
Hobbies: Volunteering, meditation, horseback riding
How has COVID impacted your dating life? The pandemic has offered me the space to focus more energy on what I can provide my future mate.
Pets/kids/neither? I feel called to be a father, literally or figuratively.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Of course. Every challenge is an opportunity for growth.
Celebrity crush: Bilal Baig
One obscure fact about yourself: I jumped out of a plane to break my fear of falling.
Consuella Lopez, 48, Hairstylist/Activist

How do you identify? Trans woman
What are you looking for in a mate? Masculinity
Biggest turn off? Cheap
Biggest turn on? Height and weight
Hobbies: Exercising
Pets/kids/neither? Neither
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Yes
Celebrity crush: Too many
One obscure fact about yourself: I did 19 miles of cardio in one week.
LeAndrea Gilliam, 40, Grants Management & Housing Specialist

How do you identify? Intersex
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone special, honest, stable, secure, caring, and craves adventure and new experiences just as much as I do.
Biggest turn off? Bad breath, a liar, overall poor hygiene and lack of respect for boundaries.
Biggest turn on? A nice smile, smells good and is a good kisser.
Hobbies: I like dancing to music I can vibe to, traveling, horror movies. I like to improve my life by reading and learning something new every day. I’m spontaneous and love doing whatever makes me happy.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? OMG! COVID has made dating much harder for me and far more laborious than ever before. I’m from the old school, I’m accustomed to meeting potential mates in person to explore my possibilities. For me in person offers more opportunities to find a romantic partner but unfortunately in person socializing is now considered a health risk. This virtual world of dating is truly for the birds.
Pets/kids/neither? No human kids but I have my doggie boo thang son Hermarry! He’s 4 a hybrid Pekechon
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? I’ll say this: If I’m dating someone and our political views differ so widely regarding human values and human rights, probably not. I would want to date someone whose values and views on human rights align.
Celebrity crush: LL Cool J
One obscure fact about yourself: I love tropical weather and the long, hot summers. I don’t function well when I’m cold. Matter of fact, my face will literally break out in hives if it’s exposed to cold temps for 15 minutes or more. However, I won’t break out until I get in a warm space. It’s been that way since I can remember.
Heidi Niskanen, 28, Engineer

How do you identify? Lesbian
What are you looking for in a mate? I am drawn to trustworthy people; individuals with a strong sense of self, authentic approach to life, that offer an empathetic ear to anyone in need of one, have always had my admiration and respect. I hope to find a person that believes in the importance of “tell me about your day” and being truthful even when it is inconvenient. Our scrapbook hopefully has lots of pictures and stories of bizarre everyday moments, many wonders of the world, and memories to look back to on all the anniversaries.
Biggest turn off? Pretentiousness
Biggest turn on? Wittiness
Hobbies: I spend a lot of my free time playing various sports or being outdoors. I volunteer as a crisis counselor and coach. I try really hard to be a good dancer, will never turn down an opportunity to learn a new recipe way above my skill level, and am often hungry for another Jennifer Rubin opinion piece. I dream of visiting a diner in every state, reaching the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, taking a selfie with a wild polar bear and teaching my children how to skate. I hope to visit museums and do more mountain biking this year.
How has COVID impacted your dating life? Raised the bar of when to meet in person. That said, COVID helped me become a better solo date.
Pets/kids/neither? Can’t wait to be a dog mom. Want children in the future.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from your own? Absolutely. Zero time for conspiracy theories or alternative facts, however.
Celebrity crush: Michelle and Barack Obama
One obscure fact about yourself: I have never tried a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
a&e features
Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)

A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)


To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)

To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)

To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)


To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)

To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)

To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)

For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
a&e features
Have yourself a merry John Waters Christmas
Annual holiday show returns to Alexandria and Baltimore
When it comes to iconic Christmas scenes in movies, none can top the tree-toppling tantrum thrown by cha-cha heels-deprived Dawn Davenport in John Waters’s fifth full-length feature “Female Trouble” from 1974. Therefore, it’s not surprising that Waters continues to make art out of Christmas, performing his spoken word Christmas tour in cities across the country. Waters has even more reason to celebrate with the release of his new red vinyl 7” single, a cover of Little Cindy’s “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on the A-side, and “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” on the B-side. If you’re still looking for unique Christmas gifts, consider this record. As always, John was kind enough to make time for an interview in advance of his tour dates.
BLADE: John, in preparation for this interview with you, I went back and listened to Little Cindy’s original rendition of “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on your “A John Waters Christmas” CD.
JOHN WATERS: One thing I did, if you notice, I make the same stumble in my recording that she did in the original.
BLADE: It sounded to me like she got choked up.
WATERS: No, I think she just stumbles over a word, so I stumbled over the same word. It’s appropriation, insanely.
BLADE: Is this a song you first became aware of in your youth or when you were an adult?
WATERS: When I was doing the Christmas album, I had this friend named Larry Benicewicz. He was kind of my idea man with music. He knew every single old record. I would say to him, “Weird Christmas songs,” when we were doing a soundtrack, or a song about bears, or a song about this, and he would give me all these tapes. It was one of the ones he played for me. A lot of the songs I put in my movies and on my records, I did know as a kid. I did not know this one, but I immediately embraced it. I don’t think it’s campy. I think it really is spiritual in a weird way. My doing it makes it a novelty record. I am really for novelty records, and there aren’t any anymore. Why was there not a COVID novelty record? That’s insane. The dance “The Bug” that’s on the “Hairspray” soundtrack would be perfect for COVID.
BLADE: The thing that struck me was that for a Christmas song in the voice of a child, a kind of death pall hangs over it, with lines like, “If I was good you’d let me live with you” and “they nailed you to the cross, they wanted you to die.”
WATERS: All of it! When I see children at midnight mass kneeling in front of a nude man nailed to a cross, I feel like I’m at The Eagle! It is S&M, it’s creepy. I took the same cover (photo) from her record to parody and put my face on it. The same thing I did with The Singing Dogs last year when I covered (their version of) “Jingle Bells.” I’m really into novelty records. I love them and I’m trying to bring them back. I don’t expect anybody to ever play these records. Even The Singing Dogs one said on it, “Please do not play this record” [laughs]. And the flipside, the Pig Latin version, is almost impossible to listen to.
BLADE: I’m so glad you mentioned that. “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” reminded me of the lost art of speaking in Pig Latin. I also recall watching the PBS series “Zoom” as an adolescent and learning to speak “ubbi dubbi,” a distant relative of Pig Latin. Do you think that the time is right for a Pig Latin or ubbi dubbi revival?
WATERS: Here’s the thing, I never could pick up any language, except Pig Latin. I’ve been in every foreign country. Foreign countries have given me money to learn to speak the language. I can never do it! But Pig Latin…my parents and other parents in the ‘50s spoke Pig Latin so kids couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then my mother taught it to me, and I used it. The hardest take to shoot in “Pink Flamingos” was not eating the dog shit. It was when the cast skipped, in one take, saying “E-way, are-yay e-they ilthiest-fay eople-pay in-hay e-they ole-hay ide-way orld-way.” We’re the filthiest people in the whole wide world in Pig Latin. We had to do so many takes so they could do it once without screwing it up. In “Polyester,” Edith (Massey) answers the phone, “ello-hay.” I did a photo piece where it was all subtitled in Pig Latin. Like “osebud-Ray” (from “Citizen Kane”) or in “Streetcar,” “ella-Stay!” [Laughs] All the iconic dialogue translated into Pig Latin. My assistant who helped me do it, had never heard of Pig Latin. She really got good at it because she lived in many foreign countries and can pick up languages. But it’s not that easy to do it correctly and read it. Your computer will translate into Pig Latin.
BLADE: AI understands Pig Latin?
WATERS: I guess that’s AI. It wasn’t 100% right, but it was close. I can speak it if I look at it, but just do a bit at a time. It was a challenge that no one would possibly care about or want to do.
BLADE: I think you pulled it off very well.
WATERS: If you want people to leave on Christmas morning, you put it on. That’s how you get your guests to leave. It’s time to go.
BLADE: Ood-gay i-bay! How did your relationship with record label Sub Pop, which released 2021, 2022, 2024, and new 2025 holiday singles, come about?
WATERS: I believe the first thing I did for them was “Prayer to Pasolini.” They came to me through Ian Brennan. He’s won a couple Grammys for World Music, but he is also is one of my agents who does the Christmas tour and a lot of my shows, anything with music. He helped me arrange each one of the songs. He had a relationship with Sub Pop. It was perfect. My friends in Baltimore, (the band) Beach House, have had huge success.
BLADE: That’s right, they’re on Sub Pop!
WATERS: Yes! I’m happy to be on it. I’ve even been to the warehouse and posed for pictures like Jackie Suzanne used to do.
BLADE: Is there any chance that “A John Waters Christmas” might be reissued on vinyl by Sub Pop?
WATERS: No. It’s such a nightmare to get the rights and to renew them. You have to find the publisher and the writer, and they usually hate each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s obscure or famous, it’s hard to get. You have to make the deal. The singer doesn’t get anything unless they play it on the radio. It would be so complicated legally, and there would be such a [laughs] tiny audience for it. I hope it will come out again. The same thing with the one for Valentine’s Day. I had two of them that did quite well when they came out; “A Date With John Waters and “A John Waters Christmas.” The “John Waters Christmas” album is still the soundtrack that plays whenever I’m doing my spoken word Christmas show as people are entering the theater.
BLADE: Aside from your annual Christmas show tour, what else do you do for the holidays now, and are there any traditions that you’ve carried over from your family?
WATERS: Certainly! I have two sisters, my brother’s widow, and me, so there are four and we take turns each year to have the Christmas dinner. Mine was last year. An entire sit-down dinner. Mom’s China, the silverware, the entire full dinner. It’s pretty traditional. I don’t have a Christmas tree, but I do decorate the electric chair from “Female Trouble.” That is a tradition in my family. We do have Christmas decorations, but they’re usually weird ones that fans sent me. I have one with Divine knocking over the Christmas tree, and the Christmas tree lights up, all sorts of amazing things. There is definitely a tradition here that might be a little altered, but it is definitely a tradition. I used to have a giant party every year, but COVID ended that. I still wouldn’t want 200 people in my house breathing right now.
BLADE: I was looking at your tour schedule and wondered if there are any new cities in which you’ve never performed the John Waters Christmas show that have been added to this year’s schedule?
WATERS: I don’t think there’s a city in America in which I haven’t done one show! The only places I haven’t been to are Hawaii and Alaska. I could do it there, but it’s too long on a tour. I can’t think of a city I haven’t played in in America over the last 50 years. The Christmas show is completely different every year. It doesn’t matter if you saw it last year.
Some gifts scream practical, others whisper luxury, and a few flat-out blur the lines. From cocoa that feels ceremonial to a cologne that linger like a suggestive smirk, this year’s ultimate gift picks prove that thoughtful (and occasionally naughty) presents don’t have to be prosaic. Welcome to your holiday cheat sheet for festive tangibles that get noticed, remembered, and maybe even result in a peck of gratitude planted under the mistletoe. Consensually, of course.
Amber Glass Champagne Flutes
Pop the champs – but make it vintage. These tulip-shaped stunners in amber-tinted glass bring all the Gatsby vibes without the Jazz-age drama. Whether you’re toasting a milestone or celebrating a Tuesday, their seven-ounce capacities and hand-wash-only care make ‘em as practical as they are pretty. Pair with a thoughtful bottle of bubs and gift with a glittering wink. $18, NantucketLooms.com
Disaster Playbook by Here Comes the Apocalypse
Because the end of the world shouldn’t be a solo act, this spiral-bound guide is your step-by-step roadmap to surviving and thriving when everything else goes sideways, which might be sooner than you think. Packed with checklists, drills, and a healthy dose of humor, it’s like a survival manual written by your most prepared (and slightly snarky) friend. Whether you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse or, more realistically, REVOLUTION!, this playbook’s got your back. $40, HereComesTheApocalypse.com

Wickless Vulva Candles
Bold, luxurious, and completely flame-free, CTOAN’s wickless candles melt from beneath on a warmer, releasing subtle, sophisticated fragrances, like sandalwood or lavender. The vulva-shaped wax adds a playful, provocative element to any space –perfect for a bedroom, living room, or anywhere you want elegance with an edge. A gift that celebrates form, intimacy and self-expression, no fire required. $39, CTOANCO.com
Villeroy & Boch Royal Classic Christmas Collection
Every meal is a mini celebration – with whimsy at every place setting – in Villeroy & Boch’s Royal Classic festive dinnerware collection that hits all the right notes. Made from premium German porcelain, it features nostalgic little toys, nutcrackers, and rocking horses in delicate relief, giving your holiday spread a playful but refined twist. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, it’s luxe without the fuss. Gift a piece to a special someone, or start a collection they’ll use (and show off) for years to come. $22-$363, Villeroy-Boch.com
Greenworks Electric Lawnmower
You a ’hood queen who considers lawn care performance art – or just wants to rule the cul-de-sac in quiet, emission-free glory? Greenworks’ zero-turn electric mower has the muscle of a 24-horsepower gas engine but none of the fumes, drama or maintenance. Six 60V batteries and a 42-inch deck mean you can mow up to two-and-a-half acres on a single charge – then plug in, recharge, and ride again. It’s whisper-quiet, slope-ready, and smooth enough to make you wonder why you ever pushed anything besides your queer agenda. The perfect gift for the homeowner who loves sustainability, symmetry, and showing off their freshly striped yard like that fresh fade you get on Fridays. $5,000, GreenworksTools.com
Molekule Air Purifier
For the friend who treats their space like a sanctuary (or just can’t stand sneezes), the Molekule Air Pro is magic in motion. Covering up to 1,000 square feet, it doesn’t just capture allergens, VOCs, and smoke – it destroys them, leaving your air feeling luxury-clean. FDA-cleared as a Class II medical device, it’s serious science disguised as modern design. Gift it to your city-dwelling, pet-loving, candle-burning friend who likes their living room as pristine as their Instagram feed. $1,015, Molekule.com

Cipriani Prosecco Gift Set
Effervescent with stone-fruit sweetness and a touch of Italian flair, the Cipriani Bellini & Prosecco gift set brings brunch-level glamour to any day of the week. The Bellini blends rich white-peach purée with sparkling wine, while the dry ’secco keeps things crisp and celebratory. Pop a bottle, pour a flute, and suddenly winter weeknights feel like a party – even with your pants off. $36, TotalWine.com
Woo(e)d Cologne
British GQ recently crowned Woo(e)d by ALTAIA the “Best Date Night Fragrance,” and honestly, they nailed it. Confident without being cocky – smoky gaïac and Atlas cedarwood grounds the room while supple leather and spicy cardamom do all the flirting – it’s a scent that lingers like good conversation and soft candlelight. Gift it to the one who always turns heads – or keep it for yourself and let them come to (and then on) you. $255, BeautyHabit.com

Lococo Cocoa Kit
Keep the run-of-the-mill mugs in the cabinet this Christmas and pull out Lococo’s handcrafted Oaxacan versions that demand you slow down and sip like it matters. Paired with a wooden scoop, rechargeable frother, and Lococo’s signature spice hot-chocolate blend (vegan, gluten-free, with adaptogenic mushrooms), this holiday kit turns Mexi-cocoa into a mini ritual you’ll look forward to. Perfect for anyone who loves a little indulgence with a side of ¡A huevo! energy.
Manta Sleep Mask
Total blackout, zero pressure on the eyes, and Bluetooth speakers built right into the straps, this ain’t your mama’s sleep mask — but it could be. The Manta SOUND sleep mask features C-shaped eye cups that block every hint of light while ultra-thin speakers deliver your favorite white noise, meditation, or late-night playlist straight to your ears. With 24-hour battery life, breathable fabric, and easy-to-adjust sound, it turns any bed (or airplane seat) into a five-star sleep suite. Perfect for anyone who treats shut-eye like an art form (or just wants to escape their roommate’s late-night bingin’ and/or bangin’). $159, MantaSleep.com

Shacklelock Necklace
Turn the industrial-chic vibe of a shackle into a sleek statement. Mi Tesoro’s platinum-plated stainless-steel necklace sits on an 18-inch wheat chain, featuring a shackle-style latch pendant that’s waterproof, tarnish-free, and totally fuss-les. Beyond style, it nods to a classic gesture in the queer leather community: replacing a traditional Master lock with something elegant to quietly signal belonging to someone special. Wear it solo for a minimalist edge or layer it like you mean it; either way this piece locks in both your look and your intentions. $90, MiTesoroJewelry.com
Parkside Flask Mojave Edition
Wine nights get a desert glow-up with Parkside’s limited-edition 750-milliliter all-in-one flask draped in sun-washed bronze and badland hues like sage, sand, and terracotta – with magnetic stemless tumblers that snap on for effortless shareability. It keeps your vino chilled for 24 hours, pours without drips (no tears for spilled rosé, please), and even lets you laser-engrave your own mantra or inside joke. Perfect for picnics, surprise rooftop clinks, or gifting to your favorite wine (or desert) rat. $149, HighCampFlasks.com

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with him on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
