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Bruni bio addresses stroke, vision loss, relationship woes

‘Beauty of Dusk’ from gay NYT writer a compelling read

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(Book cover image courtesy of Avid Reader Press)

‘The Beauty of Dusk: On Vision Lost and Found’
By Frank Bruni
c.2022, Avid Reader Press
$28/304 pages

One day I was walking, white cane in hand, with a friend to get coffee in Dupont Circle in D.C. “How do you handle being blind,” he asked me.

“Practice! Practice! Practice!” I said, riffing on the old joke about how you get to Carnegie Hall.

“Old age ain’t no place for sissies,” the inimitable Bette Davis said.

The same can be said of blindness. Though, as is the case with elders, many of us who are blind live fulfilling lives. Like our sighted peers, we likely won’t get to Carnegie Hall. But we’ll laugh and love as well as mourn and cry.

Frank Bruni, author of the insightful new memoir “The Beauty of Dusk: Vision Lost and Found,” probably won’t perform at Carnegie Hall. But he is a show-stopper of a writer!

Bruni’s still lighting up the writing stage. Though in 2017 at age 52, he lost as, he writes in the memoir, a “big chunk” of the vision in his right eye.

If you’re sighted, this may amaze you – just as young people are often astonished that anyone over 50 still dances, let alone, has sex.

In “The Beauty of Dusk,” Bruni illuminates what many blind people know. Blindness comes with hardships. But being blind needn’t keep you from your passions.

Bruni, who’s gay, has been a prominent journalist for more than three decades.

He’s been a movie critic for the Detroit Free Press. In his 25 years with The New York Times, he’s worked as the Times Rome bureau chief and the paper’s chief restaurant critic. He’s covered the Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal, U.S. presidents and celebs. For fans of “The Golden Girls,” his 2011 interview of Betty White is a must-read.

Along the way, Bruni’s written several books on everything from college admissions to meatloaf recipes. If Julia Child and Edward R. Murrow had a love child, it would be Bruni.
Looking in from the outside, you might think that Bruni lives a charmed life.

In many ways, your perception would be spot on.

His position at the Times has enabled him to live a privileged life, though it’s well deserved. Bruni is highly talented and works like a demon. Currently, along with being a contributing opinion writer for the Times, Bruni teaches classes in media at Duke University’s school of public policy.

Yet as “The Beauty of Dusk” vividly shows, what we believe life is like for people, no matter how exciting their lives seem to be, is often wrong. Privilege isn’t an antidote against loss.

One night, Bruni had a stroke. As a result of the stroke (and the drop of blood pressure from it), he became blind in his right eye. Doctors told him there was a 40 percent chance that he would lose the vision in his left eye. Thankfully, this hasn’t happened.

This experience for Bruni, pun intended, was an eye opener.

A self-confident Boomer who believed there was a fix for everything, he suddenly realized that not everything could be managed.

“I went to bed believing that I was more or less in control of my life,” Bruni writes, “that the unfinished business, unrealized dreams and other disappointments were essentially failures of industry and imagination and could probably be redeemed with a fierce enough effort.”

“I woke up,” he writes, “to the realization of how ludicrous that was.”

Though Bruni couldn’t repair his vision loss, he still had his journalistic chops. His friend Nora Ephron’s dictum “everything is copy” was his mantra.

To learn about what it’s like to be blind or to have another disability, Bruni interviews several people. Those he profiles include a blind judge, a college friend with Parkinson’s and a blind lieutenant governor who decides to become a priest.

As is frequently the case with life, we aren’t faced with just one painful event at a time.

After his stroke, Bruni discovers that his long-time romantic partner Tom has been unfaithful. During the pandemic, he cares for his father who has dementia.

The memoir is poignant, witty and engrossing when Bruni writes of his personal journey. About what it was like for him to discover how to move forward after his loss.

You root for him as he deals with doctors who show little concern for his emotional well-being and fall in love with his dog Regan.

The volume is not as strong when Bruni writes about disability or other disabled people. Perhaps this is due to Bruni being more privileged than many disabled people. Maybe it’s because he has only recently experienced vision loss.

But there is nothing in the memoir about deaf or disability culture and little about the discrimination and prejudice that disabled people encounter. This is disappointing from an author who’s written so often about LGBTQ rights.

Despite these caveats, “The Beauty of Dusk” is one of the best memoirs I’ve read in ages. It’s a beautiful read.

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Books

Author rails against racism and desire, politics, loss

‘Rage’ explores being ‘Queer, Black, Brilliant’

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“Rage: On Being Queer, Black, Brilliant… and Completely Over It”
By Lester Fabian Brathwaite
c.2024, Tiny Reparations Books
$28/288 pages

Somewhere up in the clouds.

That’s where your blood pressure is, right there as high as it’s ever been. Hoo, boy, are you angry. Your teeth are clenched, your eyes are slits, and you can’t trust yourself to speak in more than a growl. You’re plenty steamed and, as in the new book “Rage” by Lester Fabian Brathwaite, it shouldn’t have to be this way.

When he came with his family to America from Guyana at just four years old, Brathwaite couldn’t believe what his new home country offered. Malls, new kinds of food, cable television? Shirtless white men on TV and in magazines? Yes, please!

He’s always had crushes on white men, but he loves being a gay Black man – even though racism, overt and subtle, can be an aggravation. When Brathwaite is on a dating app, white men sometimes dismiss him with a racial comment. He’s heard and seen the “n-word” more than once and he doesn’t tolerate it. Wouldn’t a greeting and a no thanks be less rude?

He is bothered by unnecessary meanness.

He is bothered in a different way by bodybuilding. Hot, muscular bodies, to be exact and he’s sure that whoever created the sport was a genius. Brathwaite participates in bodybuilding himself sometimes – it’s expensive and he does it for himself, not for other men – though he believes that gay men are bodybuilding’s biggest subset. For sure, he’s payed homage to his share of bodybuilders, superheroes in movies, and hot shirtless boys on TV.

There were many times, years ago, that Brathwaite ended up drunk and in a stranger’s bed or looking for an old hook-up, and he was arrested once. Nearing 30, though, he realized that that life wasn’t what he wanted anymore. His knees couldn’t take it. Besides, he liked who he was and he liked his blackness. He realized that he didn’t need anyone else to be a hero of his tale. He could do it better himself.

One thing’s for certain: “Rage” lives up to its title.

At times, author Lester Fabian Brathwaite rails against so many things: racism and desire, club society, being a writer and editor, the generational differences between gay men, politics, and loss. At other times, he’s outRAGEous and hilarious, writing to readers as though he’s holding court in a cafe somewhere and you’d better listen up.

You should know that that means honesty – poking in the corners, calling things out for what they are, chastising people who need schooling on how to behave in a way that doesn’t leave room for nonsense. This arrives unabashed and raw, accompanied by plenty of profanity.

You’ve been warned.

And yet, Brathwaite’s candor and his blunt talk is fresh and different. This gay man doesn’t pussy-foot around, and getting his opinions without fluff feels good and right. Readers will appreciate that, and they might come away educated.

Generally speaking, this ain’t your Grandma’s book, unless Grandma likes real talk laced with profanity. If that’s so, then get “Rage.” You’ll both be mad for it.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

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Books

Fall books offer something for every taste

Hollinghurst’s latest plus a look at Queer Harlem Renaissance

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('Flamboyants' book cover image courtesy Farrar, Straus and Giroux)

Welcome to the fall book season, where you’ll find gifts for your friends, family and (most importantly?) the best reads for yourself. This is when you’ll find the blockbuster novels you’ve been waiting for, the surprise memoirs and nonfiction that you’ve wanted, and gorgeous gift books your coffee table. This fall, keep your eyes open for all kinds of literary goodness.

NOVELS

Lovers of a good novel will want to curl up with a huge TBR pile.

Romance novels will fill the shelves this fall, and if love is what you want for the holidays, you’re in luck. Look for “The Rules of Royalty” by Cale Dietrich (Wednesday Books, December), a modern tale of a prince and a “commoner”; or “Feast While You Can” by Mikealla Clements and Onjuli Datta (Grand Central Publishing), a scary-romance-erotica novel of small-town life and monsters.

Reach for “Our Evenings: A Novel” by Alan Hollinghurst (Random House, October), a novel of a young man who happily accepts a scholarship to a boarding school filled with classmates who are much, much wealthier than he is. “The Wildes: A Novel in Five Acts” by Louis Bayard (Algonquin Books, September) is a historical novel about Oscar Wilde’s family.

For lovers of Gothic tales, look for “The Resurrectionist” by A. Rae Dunlap (Kensington, December), a tale of bodysnatching. Classics lovers will want to read “Private Rites: A Novel” by Julia Armfield (Flatiron Books, December), a queer reimagining of King Lear.  Or find “Women’s Hotel” by Daniel M. Lavery (HarperVia, October), a book about a second-rate women-only hotel in New York City.

If your taste runs more to rom-coms, there are dozens of those available this fall, too, as well as Christmas novels with gay, lesbian, and trans characters inside.

NONFICTION

Even nonfiction readers will have reason to read this fall and winter.

Look for “Flamboyants: The Queer Harlem Renaissance I Wish I’d Known” by George M. Johnson and Charly Palmer (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, September), a book about 1920s Harlem and the influential queer folks who left their marks on entertainment.

“Something, Not Nothing” by Sarah Leavitt (Arsenal Pulp Press, September) chronicles, in comic form, the death of Leavitt’s partner and the paths grief takes to healing. Learn more about LGBTQ history with “The Book of Awesome Queer Heroes: How the LGBTQ+ Community Changed the World for the Better” by Eric Rosswood and Kathleen Archambeau (Mango, December); check out Mary L. Trump’s heartbreaking memoir, “Who Could Ever Love You?” (St. Martin’s Press, September); or check out a collection of essays in “Songs On Endless Repeat: Essays and Outtakes” by Anthony Veasna So (Ecco, December). Look for “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous,” an anthology of secret confessions from women around the country, by Gillian Anderson (Abrams Press, September), or find “Queer Disability through History: The Queer and Disabled Movements Through Their Personalities” by Daisy Holder (Pen and Sword History, November). Also: Cher has a new biography out this fall, “The Memoir, Part One” (Dey Street Books, November).

Not quite what you’re looking for? Check with your favorite bookseller or librarian for more ideas because, this fall, they’ll have lots of them. Or give a gift certificate and hold on for spring. Season’s readings!

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Books

Two books to read when your child comes out as trans

Explaining what science knows about genetics and sexuality

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‘Free to Be: Understanding Kids & Gender Identity’
By Jack Turban, MD
c.2024, Atria
$29.99/304 pages

‘My Child is Trans, Now What?’
By Ben V. Greene
c.2024, Rowman & Littlefield
$26.95/203 pages

Your child has recently told you a secret that they can’t hold tight anymore.

You’ve suspected what they’re about to say for a long time. When they were small, they weren’t like other children. They may have even told you what they were thinking, even before they knew it themselves. But now you know, for sure, and so, going forward, you’re the loving parent of a child who’s trans, and there’s a learning curve.

These two books might help.

Surely, you must think that there has to be some science behind gender and identity, right? In “Free to Be: Understanding Kids & Gender Identity” by Jack Turban, MD (Atria, $29.99), you’ll follow the lives and struggles of three trans and gender diverse kids, Kyle, Sam, and Meredith, as Turban explains what science knows about genetics and sexuality.

To gain a basic understanding of the subject, says Turban, we need to look back in history to see how gender identity was perceived in the past and the attitudes that our ancestors held. He then touches upon language and “misnaming,” how social constructs attempt to set a child’s gender identity before it’s fully known, and why mothers often catch “blame” for something that’s never anyone’s “fault.” Further information on biology, puberty blockers, gender reassignment surgery for young trans people, and the “politics” of gender diversity round out this book nicely.

For the parent who wants a deeper dive into what makes their child tick and what they can do to make that kid’s life easier, this compassionate book is the one to read.

If you’re just finding out that your child is trans, then “My Child is Trans, Now What?” by Ben V. Greene (Rowman & Littlefield, $26.95) is a book to reach for now.

Beginning with the things you’ll want to know and understand immediately, this book is assuring and soothing – look, and you’ll see the word “joy” in its subtitle. Greene calls trans kids “VIPs,” and he means it, which sets a relaxing tone for what’s to come here.

In sharing his own experiences, Greene stresses that every trans experience is different, and he touches often upon his coming out. This launches discussions on topics like bathrooms, therapy (if you or your VIP want it), finding support, the politics of being trans, the stressors of medical treatment, and what it might be like to have even brief regrets. Greene finishes his book with advice on getting an education and living as a trans person.

“My Child is Trans, Now What?” is truly more of a book for parents and loved ones of trans teens or young adults. What’s in here goes well beyond childhood, so be aware before you reach for it on the shelf. And if these books aren’t enough, or don’t quite fit what you need, be sure to ask your favorite bookseller or librarian for more. In recent years, more and more authors have been willing to share their own journeys, making the transition one that doesn’t have to be so secret anymore.

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