‘One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman’
By Abi Maxwell
c.2024, Knopf
$28/307 pages

“How many times have I told you that…?”

How many times have you heard that? Probably so often that, well, you stopped listening. From your mother, when you were very small. From your teachers in school. From your supervisor, significant other, or best friend. As in the new memoir “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman” by Abi Maxwell, it came from a daughter.

When she was pregnant, Abi Maxwell took long walks in the New Hampshire woods near her home, rubbing her belly and talking to her unborn baby. She was sure she was going to have a girl but when the sonogram technician said otherwise, that was OK. Maxwell and her husband would have a son.

But almost from birth, their child was angry, fierce, and unhappy. Just getting dressed each morning was a trial. Going outside was often impossible. Autism was a possible diagnosis but more importantly, Maxwell wasn’t listening, and she admits it with some shame.

Her child had been saying, in so many ways, that she was a girl.

Once Maxwell realized it and acted accordingly, her daughter changed almost overnight, from an angry child to a calm one – though she still, understandably, had outbursts from the bullying behavior of her peers and some adults at school. Nearly every day, Greta (her new name) said she was teased, called by her former name, and told that she was a boy.

Maxwell had fought for special education for Greta, once autism was confirmed. Now she fought for Greta’s rights at school, and sometimes within her own family. The ACLU got involved. State laws were broken. Maxwell reminded anyone who’d listen that the suicide rate for trans kids was frighteningly high. Few in her town seemed to care.

Throughout her life, Maxwell had been in many other states and lived in other cities. New Hampshire used to feel as comforting as a warm blanket but suddenly, she knew they had to get away from it. Her “town that would not protect us.”

When you hold “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” you’ve got more than a memoir in your hands. You’ve also got a white-hot story that seethes with anger and rightful resentment, that wails for a hurt child, and rattles the bars of injustice. And yet, it coos over love of place, but in a confused manner, as if these things don’t belong together.

Author Abi Maxwell is honest with readers, taking full responsibility for not listening to what her preschooler was saying-not-saying, and she lets you see her emotions and her worst points. In the midst of her community-wide fight, she reveals how the discrimination Greta endured affected Maxwell’s marriage and her health – all of which give a reader the sense that they’re not being sold a tall tale. Read this book, and outrage becomes familiar enough that it’s yours, too. Read “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” and share it. This is a book you’ll tell others about.

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So you looked at the calendar the other day and — eeeek!

The holidays are almost here and you’re not ready. Out of ideas for gifts? How about a book?  

Is there an activist for justice on your gift list? Then they’ll be happy to open “Morningside: The 1979 Greensboro Massacre and the Struggle for an American City’s Soul” by Aran Shetterly (Amistad, $28.99), It’s a story of the Klan, white supremacy, racial conflict, and how it fits in with what’s going on in America today. Pair it with “Sidney Poitier: The Great Speeches of an Icon Who Moved Us Forward” complied by Joanna Poitier, edited by John Malahy (Running Press, $29). Bonus: This inspiring book is packed with photos.

Fiction for the LGBTQ Reader

If there’s someone on your gift list who’d enjoy a coming-of-age story, “Shae” by Mesha Maren (Algonquin Books, $28.00) is a good choice to give. It’s a boy-meets-girl tale, but when a pregnancy happens, it spurs bigger changes in their lives than just parenthood. 

If a fun little rom-com is what your giftee loves to read, then look for “We Could Be Heroes” by Philip Ellis (Putnam, $20). It’s a light tale of a chance encounter and a friendship that starts out small and becomes pretty super. You might want to wrap it up with “Love and Hot Chicken” by Mary Liza Hartong (Wm. Morrow, $30), a sweet, funny story of two Tennessee women, a chicken shack, and amour.

If your giftee loves rom-coms, there are a bunch to choose from this season. Consider “The Ride of Her Life” by Jennifer Dugan (Avon, $17.99), a girl-meets-girl novel of a new ranch-owning horsey-girl and the farrier who disagrees with her ranching ideas.

Nonfiction for the LGBTQ Reader

The person on your gift list who loves memoirs will devour “Cactus Country” by Zoe Bossiere (Abrams Press, $27.00), the story of an 11-year-old and a new start in which everyone sees him as the boy he is. But life as a trans boy isn’t easy in the beautiful area he’s come to embrace, and neither are the people who surround him. Wrap it up with “The Long Hallway” by Richard Scott Larson (University of Wisconsin Press, $21.95), a memoir of a boy who identifies with a movie monster who helps him see that hiding parts of himself can help him come to terms with who he is.

For the trans man or woman on your gift list, look for “The Last Time I Wore a Dress” by Dylan Scholinski and Jane Meredith Adams (Penguin Publishing), a story of abuse, bullying, mental anguish, and a happy ending. This book was first published more than 25 years ago but now has a new, satisfying and joyful ending. Wrap it up with “Mama: A Queer Black Woman’s Story of a Family Lost and Found” by Nikkya Hargrove, the tale of a love, responsibility, and more love.

If your giftee is exploring their sexuality, “Fierce Desires: A New History of Sex and Sexuality in America” by Rebecca L. Davis (Norton, $35) might be a welcome gift. Have we come a long way, in understanding people’s sexuality? Yes and no – your giftee may have ideas about that.

Biography 

Did your giftee spend a childhood immersed in books about growing up? If so, they’ll cherish those memories when they read “The Genius of Judy” by Rachelle Bergstein (One Signal Publishers, $28.99). This biography fills readers in on who Judy Blume was, why she wrote the novels she penned, and how her stories fit in with today’s adolescence, feminism, current events, and literature. Wrap it up with this great biography: “Rulebreaker: The Life and Times of Barbara Walters” by Susan Page (Simon & Schuster $30). It’s the story of Walters, her times, and her impressive works.

If your giftee is riled by this year’s politics and feminism, then they’ll love reading “A Well-Trained Wife” by Tia Levings (St. Martin’s Press, $30). It’s the story of Levings’s life as a wife in a Christian patriarchy-based marriage, the submissiveness, the expectations, and her ultimate resistance. The right kind of giftee will love this book completely.

The British history lover on your list will absolutely want “The Eagle and the Hart: The Tragedy of Richard II and Henry IV” by Helen Castor (Avid Reader Press, $35). This book takes a deep dive into history, the lives of two cousins, and a shocking assumption to the throne. Pair it with a bookmark and “Henry V: The Astonishing Triumph of England’s Greatest Warrior King” by Dan Jones (Viking, $35), a book about the life and times of this English king in the fifteenth century.

For the person on your gift list who loves music, “How Women Made Music: A Revolutionary History from NPR Music” edited by Alison Fensterstock (HarperOne, $40) is exactly the right gift. It’s a look at female musicians from the 1920s to more recent years, from country music to hip hop to guitar players and beyond. Wrap it up with “I Heard There Was a Secret Chord: Music as Medicine” by Daniel J. Levitin (Norton, $32.50), a book about music and how it contributes to healing and well-being.

“Friendly Fire: A Fractured Memoir” by Paul Rousseau (Harper Horizon, $29.99) may be the exact right gift for anyone who loves a unique memoir. Just before he graduated from college, Rousseau was shot in the head accidentally. How he survived, both physically and in the friendship with the man who shot him is the basis of this very well-done book. 

The science-minded person on your gift list will be happy to have “The Elements of Marie Curie: How the Glow of Radium Lit a Path for Women in Science” by Dava Sobel (Atlantic Monthly Press, $30). Chances are, your giftee knows exactly who Madame Curie was, but do they know about the women who came after her in the laboratory. This book tells the tale in an engaging, interesting way. 

For your fashionista who loves make-up, “Becoming Elizabeth Arden: The Woman Behind the Global Beauty Empire” by Stacy A. Cordery (Viking, $35) could be the best gift beneath the tree this year. It’s a sweeping story of a businesswoman, glamour maven, revolutionary, visionary, her work, her times, and the controversy she lit.

And don’t forget queer icon Cher’s new book, “Cher, The Memoir Part One,” filled with no-nonsense anecdotes about her rocky rise to fame. Fellow queer icon RuPaul also published his biography earlier this year, “The House of Hidden Meanings: A Memoir.”

Politics

Was your giftee dismayed at the political landscape for the past few years? Then “Good Reasonable People” by Keith Payne (Viking, $29.00) should be the book you wrap up to give.  There is a way back to unity and away from polarization, Payne says, and with an explanation of the psychology and behind it, it’s do-able. 

Be sure you know where your giftee’s politics lie if you wrap up “The MAGA Diaries” by Tina Nguyen (One Signal Publishers, $28.00). Nguyen cut her teeth in the conservative movement, though she never felt entirely comfortable there. Eventually, she needed to get out; how she did it is a story the right giftee will love.

The person on your list who’s mourning the end of the political season, will be happy to get “The Handy Civics Answer Book: How to Be a Good Citizen” by David L. Hudson, Jr. J.D. (Visible Ink Press, $29.99). It’s a large, heavy book about our American documents, the Amendments they should know about, what it means to be a “good citizen,” and more.

Remember the Reagan years? For your giftee that does, too, “Dear Mom and Dad” by Patti Davis (Liveright, $27.99) will be a great gift to unwrap. Davis, of course, was the Reagans’ daughter, and this love letter to family and country is perfectly appropriate this year. 

Here’s a political issue your activist will want to know more about: “The Stolen Wealth of Slavery: A Case for Reparations” by David Montero (Legacy Lit, $29). Part history, part business, part eye-opener, this book is one of the better looks at this controversial subject.

Season’s readings!

‘American Teenager’
By Nico Lang
c.2024, Abrams Press
$30/288 pages

In great-grandma’s day, they hooked.

They were high-topped and dainty, too, to show off a tiny, cheeky-but-demure ankle beneath long skirts. These days, though, they Velcro, tie, strap, or you just slip your toes into whatever you put on your feet. You gotta wear your shoes but, as in the new book “American Teenager” by Nico Lang, you wish someone would walk a mile in them first.

Seven-hundred-plus.

That’s how many anti-gay, anti-trans bills were presented to state legislatures around the country last year, many aimed at minors. As if being a teenager isn’t hard enough. With this in mind, Lang shadowed seven trans kids, to find out how they and their families cope with our current political landscape.

Fifteen-year-old South Dakotan Wyatt is in 10th grade. He knows that the lawmakers in his state “will just keep turning up the boil” on trans bills and it makes him physically sick. When Lang asked Wyatt to describe himself, Wyatt couldn’t do it, as if, says Lang, he was “still in transit, not yet arrived.”

Near Birmingham, Rhydian is a good student at the Magic City Acceptance Academy, the only school in the South that specifically welcomes LGBTQ students, and he enjoys the deep love and support of his parents and grandmother. But he’s frustrated: Rhydian’s been waiting for months for top surgery, which has been put on hold for reasons that are political.

Mykah identifies as gender-fluid, Black, and bi-racial and they desperately dream of a future performing career. In Houston, Ruby’s beloved church held a re-naming ceremony for her when she turned 18. Seventeen-year-old trans boy Clint is Muslim, and has managed to avoid scrutiny from his Chicago mosque.

Jack, along with her mother and nonbinary sibling, Augie, were homeless before their mother finally managed to find housing; in the meantime, Jack lost her health care. And in Los Angeles, Kylie has health care, support, friends, and an activist mother.

She has advantages that most trans kids can only wish for – and she knows it.

Acne. Peer pressure. Social media. Being a teen has always been difficult, even without anti-LGBTQ legislation. In this fine work of journalism, author Nico Lang shows how a handful of kids in one group are coping with governmental policies and life in general.

Hint: you can expect the unexpected.

“American Teenager” shows the highs and lows of being a teen with the added stress of politics included – and here, the individuality inside the ordinary is striking and wonderful. Lang is careful to show how these are just typical kids – good-hearted, smart, funny, sarcastic – and it rings throughout each profile how much the discrimination they endure affects their lives and relationships. That’s a clarion call, absolutely, but readers who can see between the lines will also enjoy this book’s humor, it’s compassion, and the sheer joy of meeting decent, thoughtful teens.

Parents will like this book for its candor, and that goes doubly for adults who love a trans kid. Start “American Teenager” and before long, you’ll be hooked.

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