Living
College survival guide
Recent LGBT graduates share tips and tools to help you thrive on campus


Always remember the buck stops with you on personal matters. It’s OK to say no to coming out, to sex, to too much involvement or anything else during your college years.
Looking back on my four years as an undergraduate, I’m reminded of all the beautiful friends I met, the wonderful places I was lucky enough to go and the life-changing experiences I was able to have.
College is truly a time for individuals to grow, not only academically and professionally, but on an important personal level as well. As with all matters of life however, there is certainly a flux and flow of the good and the not so good.
Venturing into any unknown situation is intimidating. If you’re LGBT and about to start college, here are some suggestions from a few of us who were just there.
For starters, be sure to find a campus that you’re going to enjoy. A sense of belonging should be high on your college priority list. You do not want to enroll in a campus and then discover that parts of your identity are not welcomed or even celebrated. In this sense, it is perfectly OK to be selfish. Find a campus that you enjoy as much as it enjoys you. As a great resource, check out Campus Pride’s National Listing of LGBTQ-friendly colleges and universities at campusprideindex.org.
When to come out? If you do not feel that it’s the right time for you to come out during college, know that it’s your decision to make. Everyone has his or her own story and own time to tell it. Never feel pressured to come out. Do it at your own pace. Period.
“Honestly, I wish I had been told that I do not have to be out if I do not want to,” says Mariam, a 2015 graduate of the University of Michigan-Dearborn. “There was this huge emphasis on my campus for ‘Coming Out Day’ and it’s not always safe to.“
The only person capable enough to decide how many things you can take on in college is yourself. Do not stretch yourself too thin, too fast. Remember that you have four or more years to engage in everything you want to engage in. Take your time. Remember to balance your academic as well as your self care as priorities.
“Know your limits,” says Matthew, a 2015 Illinois State University graduate. “I always felt on the outside as a queer individual growing up, so when college came around I tried including myself in everything I could get my hands on. Pick a few things you love and rock out on them.”
On a similar note, do not forget that you are allowed to say “no.” Many people fall into a pattern of saying yes to everything that comes their way. This is a quick way to become overworked and even out of tune with yourself. Your college years are the time to experiment and get involved with as much as you can. However, if you’re not willing or able to, there’s a simple, one-word solution — no.
Sex: let’s get real. How honest would an article about college life be if it did not involve anything regarding sex? The answer: not that honest. Sex isn’t a priority for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. However, if you’re having sex then make sure you and your partner(s) are safe and comfortable. In terms of safe sex, many colleges and universities have departments or programs that provide safe-sex resources such as condoms (male and female), dental dams, lubrication, etc. In terms of comfortable sex, make sure that all parties in the encounter give their clear consent. Do not put yourself or someone else in a position that they do not feel ready for. Communication is key. Sex is great, but we have to be able to talk about it first.
Making healthy choices. LGBTQ college students face many challenges that impact their health and well-being on campus. Whether alcohol/substance use or healthy body image issues, there are specific ways these health concerns affect LGBTQ youth differently. Educate yourself and your campus community on the issues related to LGBTQ health and wellness by checking out Campus Pride’s Health and Wellness resources at CampusPride.org/resources
Fabulous, of course. Remember that while you may have amazing circles of support on your campus, parts of the world are still catching up to your fabulousness. When you’re searching for internships or post-graduate positions, do your research. Make sure you find an organization or company that is going to make you feel safe and welcome for all your identities.
“I wish that someone had given me advice on how and where to find employers and geographical locations that are LGBTQ-friendly,” Mariam says. “So looking for an after graduation-job would have been much easier, ya know? I wish that was something career offices made available on the regular: companies that are specifically LGBTQ-friendly.”
Take advantage of the resources your campus has to offer. Many universities have programs designed to help advance the wellness of students. Whether it be through a Career Center, Counseling Services, a Student Involvement Center, an Office of Diversity Advocacy, or even the Campus Recreation Center. Most of the services these departments will provide are of no cost to students. You already paid for much of these resources in your tuition, so take advantage of them.
“I wish someone would have prepped me for what the world feels like when you’re no longer directly protected by the resources and support of a university that provides for LGBTQ students,” says Roze, a University of Missouri-Kansas 2014 graduate.
Making friends outside your circle. Meet up and make friends with people from all walks of life. In doing so, you will be exposed to a rainbow of different ways to view and engage with the world. As this might be a scary thought at first, know that diversifying your experiences will only further your growth as a young adult. As LGBTQ individuals, it’s important to remember intersectionality and that those who may support us also need support in return.
“One thing no one told me is that it’s really easy to get involved in queer/trans issues even if you do not work for a QT organization,” says Kayla, a 2014 graduate of Texas A&M University. “There are all types of community organizations in big cities, college towns, medium-sized cities, etc., and they’re always looking for people. Also, if you’re looking to meet other QT folks, look for a meetup group (meetup.com) or create one if there’s not one in your area.”
Look for role models and mentors. In your search for support and friends, also aim your sights on finding a personal role model or mentor or even multiple. Sometimes it is easier for someone to know what they want in life by observing how others have engaged with the world. Mentors or role models are an incredible source of information and often much more experience in areas you may be interested in yourself.
“It is important to find a mentor,” says Matthew, a 2015 Illinois State University graduate. “I was so, so lucky to have many amazing mentors in college. Queer individuals should always have someone to ask questions of, lean on and be challenged by for growth.”
Selfie care: This is about more than taking time to snap a photo. One of the most important things to remember, not only in college but in all stages of your life, is self care. College can be incredibly busy and stressful at times. Remember that it is OK for you to take a step back and spend time on yourself if you need to. Constructive self-care time will better allow you to take on responsibilities as a student.
“Knowing what I know now about being a queer college student with one degree under my belt, I make a point of telling my students now that they are not alone, that their feelings are valid, and that they are already defying odds by being in college,” Roze says. “So if self care takes precedent over an assignment sometimes, there are always ways to improve your grade, but you have to improve yourself first.”
Why am I here? Never forget the reason you’re in higher education. Have goals and remember that you are there to graduate and receive an education. Sure, it’s easy to doze off and daydream during a long lecture. But what good are you doing yourself if you’re not paying attention to the material? Not only is it a waste of your money, but it is also a waste of your time and growth as a future activist.
“Education is a privilege and access to the language of theory is not something most people have,” says Megan, a 2015 graduate of Metropolitan State College of Denver. “If you cannot back up your theory with actions then what you are left with is a language without meaning. It’s not easy to reframe the way I talk about power and identity outside of academic circles, but I have realized that inaccessible language is a barrier to inclusive social justice.”
With these tools in your back pocket, my hope is that you’re ready to tackle higher education head on. There’s no such thing as too much advice, so don’t stop with this article. Be sure to reach out to those you may know who have experienced higher education for more tips and tools. Always remain proactive, get involved, but to also take time for yourself. Stay fine, fresh and fierce and enjoy every moment you can. These are the glory days.
Tyler Eilts is an alumnus of Illinois State University, where he is also seeking his master’s degree in interpersonal communication and women’s and gender studies. He is a 2015 summer fellow for Campus Pride.
Real Estate
Celebrate the power of homeownership this Fourth of July
Owning a home is powerful act of self-determination

This Fourth of July, celebrate more than independence: celebrate the power of LGBTQ+ homeownership. Explore resources, rights, and representation with GayRealEstate.com, the trusted leader in LGBTQ+ real estate for over 30 years.
Home is more than a house: it’s a symbol of freedom
As the fireworks light up the sky this Fourth of July, LGBTQ+ individuals and families across the country are not just celebrating the nation’s independence — they’re celebrating personal milestones of freedom, visibility, and the right to call a place their own.
For many in the LGBTQ+ community, owning a home represents more than stability — it’s a powerful act of self-determination. After generations of discrimination and exclusion from housing opportunities, more LGBTQ+ people are stepping into homeownership with pride and purpose.
Why homeownership matters to the LGBTQ+ community
While progress has been made, LGBTQ+ homebuyers still face unique challenges, including:
- Housing discrimination, even in states with legal protections
- Limited access to LGBTQ+ friendly realtors and resources
- Concerns about safety and acceptance in new neighborhoods
- Lack of representation in the real estate industry
That’s why the Fourth of July is a perfect time to reflect not just on freedom as a concept, but on how that freedom is expressed in the real world — through ownership, safety, and pride in where and how we live.
Finding LGBTQ+ Friendly Neighborhoods
One of the top concerns for LGBTQ+ buyers is whether they’ll feel safe, accepted, and welcome in their new neighborhood. Thanks to evolving attitudes and stronger community support, many cities across the U.S. now offer inclusive, affirming environments.
Some of the best cities for LGBTQ+ home buyers include:
- Wilton Manors, Fla. – A vibrant LGBTQ+ hub with strong community ties
- Palm Springs, Calif. – A longtime favorite for LGBTQ+ homeowners
- Asheville, N.C. – Progressive and artsy, with growing LGBTQ+ visibility
- Portland, Ore. – Inclusive, eco-conscious, and diverse
- Philadelphia, PA – Rich in history and LGBTQ+ community leadership
When you work with an LGBTQ+ friendly realtor, you get insight into more than property values — you get a real perspective on where you’ll feel most at home.
Navigating the real estate process with confidence
Whether you’re a first-time gay homebuyer or preparing to sell your home as an LGBTQ+ couple, it’s essential to understand your rights and options. Here are a few key tips:
1. Work with a trusted LGBTQ+ real estate agent
Representation matters. A gay realtor, lesbian real estate agent, or LGBTQ+ friendly agent understands the unique concerns you may face and advocates for you every step of the way.
Use GayRealEstate.com to connect with LGBTQ+ real estate agents near you. For over 30 years, we’ve helped LGBTQ+ buyers and sellers find their ideal home and a professional who respects their identity.
2. Know your legal protections
While federal law (via the Fair Housing Act and Supreme Court rulings) prohibits housing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity, enforcement can vary by state. Make sure to research:
- State-level housing discrimination laws
- Local LGBTQ+ protections and resources
- What to do if you experience discrimination during a transaction
3. Secure inclusive financing
While most lenders follow fair lending rules, it’s smart to seek out banks or credit unions with LGBTQ+ inclusive policies and a history of non-discriminatory lending practices.
4. Plan for the future as a family
For same-sex couples, especially unmarried partners, it’s vital to review how you’ll hold the title, designate beneficiaries, and plan your estate.
Ask your agent or attorney about:
- Joint tenancy with right of survivorship
- Living trusts
- Powers of attorney and healthcare proxies
Selling a home as an LGBTQ+ homeowner
If you’re listing your home, working with a gay-friendly real estate agent ensures your identity and story are honored — not hidden — in the process.
Highlight:
- Your community connections
- Your home’s role in creating a safe space
- Local LGBTQ+ resources to attract like-minded buyers
Showcasing the full value of your home includes sharing what it meant to live there authentically and safely.
Your home, your freedom
The Fourth of July reminds us that freedom isn’t just an abstract idea — it’s lived every day in the spaces where we find comfort, love, and belonging. For the LGBTQ+ community, the right to own and thrive in a home is part of the larger journey toward full equality.
At GayRealEstate.com, we believe every LGBTQ+ person deserves:
- A safe place to live
- A community that welcomes them
- An advocate in the home buying or selling process
Ready to make a move?
Whether you’re dreaming of your first home, upgrading with your partner, or selling a space that helped shape your identity, GayRealEstate.com is your trusted partner. With our nationwide network of gay realtors, lesbian real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly professionals, we make your journey smooth, respectful, and informed.
Visit GayRealEstate.com to:
- Search LGBTQ+ friendly homes
- Connect with inclusive real estate agents
- Access free guides for buyers and sellers
- Protect your rights and get expert advice
This Fourth of July, celebrate more than independence — celebrate your freedom to live, love, and own with pride.

Did you melt like the Wicked Witch of the West this week?
As summer temperatures rise, keeping your home or apartment cool during a heat wave can become both a comfort issue and a financial challenge. One of the most effective ways to keep a home cool is to prevent heat from entering in the first place. Sunlight streaming through windows can significantly raise indoor temperatures. Consider the following solutions:
• Close blinds or curtains during the hottest parts of the day. Blackout curtains or thermal drapes can reduce heat gain by up to 30%.
• Install reflective window films to block UV rays and reduce solar heat without sacrificing natural light.
• Use outdoor shading solutions such as awnings (yes, the ones you removed because they were “dated”) and shutters to limit direct sunlight.
Fans are a cost-effective way to circulate air and create a wind-chill effect that makes rooms feel cooler.
• Ceiling fans should rotate counterclockwise in the summer to push cool air down.
• Box fans or oscillating fans can be placed near windows to pull in cooler evening air or push hot air out.
• Create a cross-breeze by opening windows on opposite sides of your home and positioning fans to direct airflow through the space.
• For an extra cooling effect, place a bowl of ice or a frozen water bottle in front of a fan to circulate chilled air.
To optimize natural ventilation, open windows early in the morning or late in the evening when outdoor temperatures drop. This allows cooler air to flow in and helps ventilate heat that built up during the day.
Appliances and electronics generate a surprising amount of heat. To reduce indoor temperatures:
• Avoid using the oven or stove during the day; opt for no-cook meals, microwave cooking, or grilling outside.
• Run heat-producing appliances like dishwashers and clothes dryers in the early morning or late evening.
• Unplug electronics when not in use, as even standby power can add heat to your space.
• Switching to energy-efficient LED lightbulbs can also reduce ambient heat compared to incandescent lighting.
If you do use an air conditioner, maximize its effectiveness by:
• Setting it to a reasonable temperature—around 76–78°F when you’re home and higher when you’re away.
• Cleaning or replacing filters regularly to maintain airflow and efficiency.
• Sealing gaps around doors and windows to prevent cool air from escaping. (Didn’t we all have a parent who said, “Close the door. You’re letting all the cool out?”)
• Using a programmable thermostat to optimize cooling schedules and reduce energy use.
If it is not cost-prohibitive, adding insulation in attics and walls can greatly reduce heat transfer. Solar panels that reflect heat can also help, as well as offset the cost of their installation. Adding weatherstripping around doors and windows, sealing cracks, and using door sweeps can make a significant difference in keeping heat out and cool air in.
Natural and eco-conscious methods can also help cool your home.
• Snake plants, ferns, or rubber trees can improve air quality and slightly cool the air through transpiration.
• White or reflective roof paint can reduce roof temperatures significantly.
• Cooling mats or bedding can make sleeping more comfortable without cranking up the A/C.
For renters or those who can’t make permanent modifications, there are still plenty of ways to keep cool.
• Use portable fans and A/C units instead of built-in systems, making sure they are the correct size for your space.
• Removable window film or static cling tinting can reflect heat without violating your lease.
• Install tension rod curtains or temporary blackout panels instead of hardware-mounted window coverings.
• Add draft blockers and weatherstripping tape that can be applied and removed without damage.
• Cover floors with light-colored rugs to reflect heat rather than absorb it.
• If allowed, use temporary adhesive hooks to hang reflective materials or light-filtering fabrics over windows.
Even if your space is warm, you can still take steps to help your body stay cool.
• Wear light, breathable fabrics like cotton or linen.
• Stay hydrated and avoid caffeine or alcohol during peak heat hours.
• Take cool showers or use damp cloths on your neck and wrists to bring your body temperature down.
Keeping your home or apartment cool in the summer doesn’t have to be expensive or energy-intensive. With a few adjustments such as blocking sunlight, optimizing airflow, using fans effectively, and making renter-friendly upgrades, you can create a more comfortable indoor environment while keeping energy bills in check.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Real Estate
The world’s on fire and D.C. is on sale (sort of)
Prices are up, but then again, nothing makes sense anymore

ICE is disappearing people, revered government agencies are shuttering, and who knows if we’ll be in World War III next week? But can you believe prices in D.C. are actually still up 6.3% since last year? It doesn’t make sense, and perhaps that does make sense, because nothing seems to make any sense any more.
That said, there are some parts of our market that are truly suffering. The interest rates, which have been up, up, up for about four years now, are the ongoing rain on our market’s military parade. Combine that with 75,000 federal employees taking a buyout nationwide, and DOGE cuts eliminating around 40,000 federal jobs in the District (per estimates by the D.C. CFO), not to mention thousands of other job losses in non-governmental organizations due to funding and program cuts, and you’ve got a case of uncertainty, and downright unaffordability in the pool of otherwise would-be buyers.
This has had a marked impact on properties that starter-home buyers and low- to mid-level employees would otherwise buy, most notably condominium and cooperative apartment units. These properties have already slowed in our market thanks to the profound impact that higher interest rates have had on their monthly carrying costs—pair that with job insecurity, and a lot of condos are proving to be very difficult to sell indeed.
So how is the average sale price up in our market?
The increase is almost entirely due to the resounding strength of the single-family home market, especially in upper Northwest D.C., where it is still quite common to see bidding wars, even on properties pushing past the $3M mark. It seems that buyers in that echelon are less impacted by a few percentage points in the interest rate, and less concerned about their job security. Notably, those buyers are often married with children and have an absolute need for more space, must stay in the area due to one spouse’s job, or the kid’s friend group, regardless of whether the cost of owning is thousands of dollars more per month than it would have been in 2020 or 2021. The continued appreciation in these neighborhoods defies imagination.
So, what to do if you are not one of those lucky enough to be shopping for a $3M home? The short answer: wait. If you want more space, rent your current place out and learn the joys of being a landlord while someone else pays your mortgage. Need the equity from your current home to buy your next place? Get a home equity line of credit, or loan, and pull the equity out of your current place to buy the next one. Or—and I have never recommended this before in 21 years of being a Realtor—rent for a few years. Sure, I’d love to list and sell your condo so you can climb the real estate ladder, but it might just be a waste of time, money or both if you could just ride out this storm and sell in a DOGE-less future.
All this said, there are some condos that seem to be immune from this recent negative news. Anecdotally, it feels like it’s the truly special ones that do just fine no matter the market. Our recent listing in Capitol Hill had a view from every one of its 15 windows of the Supreme Court. Sold in five days with six offers. Another condo was on the top two floors of a townhouse and had the coolest black wood floors that gleamed like a grand piano. Sold in four days at full price.
So, all is not for naught if you have a condo or home in an area that people want to be in, with nice space, light, amenities and a certain je ne sais quois. And, as long as we have a democracy in a few years, my experience says our market will be back, stronger than ever, really soon.
David Bediz is a Realtor and mortgage loan broker for the Bediz Group LLC and Home Starts Here, LLC. Reach him at [email protected].
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