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The way to your partner’s heart

Several posh bistros offer perfect settings for Valentine’s romance

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Who knew sushi was an aphrodisiac? Mike Olson and Dean Barnes get close at the fabulous new Tsunami. (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Feb. 14 is D-Day for romance — the annual Valentine’s Day celebration of affection between intimate companions or those looking for it.

So consider a few ways to show your affection with food, by dining out on the day itself.

For sushi lovers, the new Tsunami Sushi and Lounge on 14th Street, N.W., between N and Rhode Island Avenue is a great start.

There are many types of sushi, but most often we think of it as what is actually “sashimi,” when it’s simply raw fish that’s been sliced, or as “nigiri,” when it’s a mounded rectangle of rice topped with something.

Bottom line: Sushi is sexy. To the eyes — and on the tongue. Just ask Vena (but her intimates call her “Wee”) W. Doungchan, the stunning and seductive Thai-born hostess and marvelous manager at Tsunami. But the restaurant and bar’s slogan nevertheless is “we don’t make waves, we make sushi.”

Born a boy biologically in small-town Thailand in 1973, Vena (a name she chose for herself to replace her male name, Weerasak, says she knew from at least age 6 that she was not a boy but a girl. When she could, though never at school, she often dressed in skirts from then on and when she went to university at 18 to study hotel management, she says “I grew my hair, put on make-up,” and a year later began hormone therapy.

Vena W. Doungchan, the Thai-born hostess and marvelous manager at Tsunami. (Blade photo by Michael Key)

She moved to the United States in 2000 and after a number of years first in San Francisco and then New York City, she was asked last year by the owner of Thai Tanic, the restaurant located beneath second-floor Tsunami, to come to D.C. and help open what was at first planned only as a bar and lounge but later expanded to the sushi menu, under the skilled culinary baton of Vietnam-born but Ohio-raised executive chef Nick Vu Hoang. Not to be missed are several of his favorites, such as a tuna tartare topped with a quail egg or duck-breast nigiri topped with luscious seared foie gras and miso-flavored pineapple and plum.

Like Vena, the restaurant and bar are sleek and stunning, and include an intimate third-floor loft area, with a modern look of contrasting white and black leather chairs and sofas.

Switch cuisine gears now for the new Italian Renaissance in the casual but upscale brasserie style of Ristorante Posto, also on 14th Street, N.W., serving classic and modern Italian food (but with a clear accent on the latter mood) that is simply “delizioso,” accessible comfort food to set your love thermostat on warm. A little-sister restaurant to the even more upscale downtown D.C. trattoria-like Tosca (1112 F St., N.W.), Posto is presided over (like Tosca) by its executive chef — a maestro famed among foodies — Massimo Fabbri, born just 30 miles north of Florence who as a boy aspired to become a chef, who moved when grown to London and then in 2001 to D.C. where he worked for a time at Tosca, revisited Italy for a several-year stretch, but then returned to D.C. and now lives with his wife Alexis just a few blocks from Posto.

Located only steps away from the Studio Theatre in a onetime car dealership, with floor-to-ceiling windows, simple cool lighting and stark furnishings and bright artwork, Posto has become a stylish mecca for trend-spotters and is known especially as a recent haunt for Obama White House and administration heavy hitters like former chief of staff Rahm Emanuel and political strategist David Axelrod.

Posto’s fare includes a tasty array of nine kinds of pizza fresh-baked in a custom-built wood-burning oven. But its appetizers — like a dish of smooth, creamy polenta topped with rich tomato sauce and chunks of sausage — are already legendary. Also try the antipasti such as wild boar salami and duck prosciutto or the “capra” of fresh goat milk cheese with chives and black pepper.

Turn now to another great source of comfort food but in the form of contemporary American cuisine — the Beacon Bar and Grill, at the corner of 17th Street and Rhode Island Avenue, N.W.

Helmed by its affable general manager, Iranian-born Kamran Vakli, with a menu styled by executive chef Steve Hunter, and the new look in decor created by D.C. interior designer Walter Gagliano, BB&G is a triumph thronged by crowds drawn by its festive Sunday brunch, considered among the best in D.C. and also called by one reviewer D.C.’s “best bet for dinner.”

In its new interior makeover, with its palette of bold colors in fabrics and lighting choices, designer Gagliano (he’s created the signature look and feel for more than 25 D.C. eateries) took inspiration from the classic elements portrayed in Vermeer’s portrait “Girl with a Pearl Earring,” aiming, says Gagliano, for a “cleaner, more contemporary vibe.” And executive chef Hunter, who declares that, “the future is going green,” boasts of the restaurant’s reliance on local sources for seafood and veggies and that “we produce our own charcuterie and fresh sausages from organic beef and pork.”

For sure, on Valentine’s Day try one of the offerings priced (according to the selected entree) from $24.95 to $34.95, such as the crab empanadas with mole amarillo and avocado cilantro mayonnaise, grilled Amish chicken breast, or a surf and turf of fillet steak and grilled shrimp.

Lauren and Carrie Dana-Evans enjoying a romantic dinner at the Beacon Bar and Grill. (Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

For women seeking a friendly environment, try Lace. Opened in late 2008 and located in Brookland at 2214 Rhode Island Ave., N.E., Lace is owned by lesbian Linda McAllister, a small-town girl originally from North Carolina who moved to San Antonio, Texas to “come out” and also earn her undergraduate degree there in social work. In 1995, she moved to D.C. and now lives in Brookland where she eventually decided to open an upscale restaurant, the fulfillment of her long-held dream, where “every night is ladies night,” for women of all ages but also open to LGBT and straight alike.

The slogan is “sophisticated. mature. sexy. diva. you.” Though located in a former tattoo parlor, from its chic decor, with jeweled chandeliers and textured walls and dim lighting — and its relaxed dance floo — Lace is decidedly upscale and offers dinner only, open just on weekends Friday through Sunday. The eclectic food itself is also a big draw, such as the sauteed crab cakes, the tempura seafood dish with a Cajun twist and a mouth-watering veggie quesadilla.

D.C. suffers from an embarrassment of riches when it comes to LGBT-friendly places to dine on Valentine’s Day. Here are more options to consider when booking your big night out:

Banana Café, 500 8th St., S.E., bananacafedc.com

Black Fox Lounge, 1723 Connecticut Ave., N.W., blackfoxlounge.com

Café Berlin, 322 Massachusetts Ave., N.E., cafeberlindc.com

Café La Ruche, 1039 31st St., N.W., cafelaruche.com

Commissary, 1443 P St., N.W., commissarydc.com

Logan Tavern, 1423 P St., N.W., logantavern.com

DC Noodles, 1410 U St., N.W., dcnoodles.com

Freddie’s Beach Bar, 555 S. 23rd St., Arlington, Va., freddiesbeachbar.com

Le Chat Noir, 4907 Wisconsin Ave., N.W., lechatnoirrestaurant.com

M Street Bar & Grill, 2033 M St., N.W.

Rice, 1608 14th St., N.W., ricerestaurant.com

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Annapolis Pride arrives this weekend

Sixth annual LGBTQ celebration held in Maryland capital

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Annapolis Pride is set for Saturday. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Sixth Annual Annapolis Pride Parade and Festival will be held on Saturday, Oct. 3 at 11 a.m. on the streets adjacent to St. John’s College. 

The theme of this year’s Annapolis Pride Parade and Festival celebration is “United in Pride, Together We Thrive!” Saturday’s parade will begin on St. John’s Street adjacent to St. John’s College, continue along Calvert Street to Northwest Street, to Church Circle, and onto West Street. The parade route then turns onto Amos Garrett Boulevard and eventually ends on Constitution Avenue near Maryland Hall.

Those with disabilities will be able to watch the parade from a special viewing porch at the Graduate Hotel at 126 West St. An Annapolis Pride volunteer will be there and available to assist.

For more details, visit the festival’s website. 

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Calendar: October 2-8

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, October 2

Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite. 

Saturday, October 3

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets cost $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, October 4

Spark Coffee Club will be at 12 p.m. at Spark Social. This is a laid-back daytime hangout built entirely around making new connections. Whether you’re new to the city, new to the community, or just looking to expand your social circle, this is an easy, low-pressure way to spark up a conversation with the person next to you. Come solo or with a friend — you never know who you might meet. For more details, visit Eventbrite. 

Monday, October 5

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, October 6

DC SAFE and the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ+ Affairs will host “The Relationship Lab” at 6 p.m. This is a four-week series for LGBTQ+ communities exploring love, boundaries, communication, and connection. Through real conversations and engaging discussions, participants will explore what makes relationships healthy and how to recognize the signs when they’re not. For more details, visit Eventbrite. 

Wednesday, October 7

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social & Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ+ women can meet and socialize with one another. To register, visit the DC Center’s website.

Thursday, October 8

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

South Asian LGBTQ+ Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. KHUSHDC provides a safe, confidential space for South Asian LGBTQ community members to come together and share experiences. The peer support group is an outlet for South Asian-identified LGBTQ individuals to come and talk about anything affecting them. It’s a secure, judgement-free environment to discuss relationships, sexuality, health, well-being, identity, culture, religion, or anything that is on your mind. Please feel free to join, and share stories, learn about available resources, and join our community. For more details, email [email protected]. 

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Ryan Murphy’s ‘Monster’ vilifies the lesbian

Netflix show promotes stereotype that queer women are dangerous

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Ella Beatty stars in ‘Lizzie Borden.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

Ryan Murphy’s “Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story” just premiered on Netflix and became the most watched show on the platform. Murphy and his series are deeply controversial. The past three seasons have focused on convicted killers Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez, and Ed Gein, and have garnered considerable criticism for sensationalizing real-life trauma, exploiting victims for entertainment, and glorifying the perpetrators.

But his newest season centers on Lizzie Borden, the white, affluent Massachusetts woman still referenced today in nursery rhymes who was never convicted of killing her parents Andrew and Abby Borden. As with Murphy’s other seasons, the show plays fast-and-loose with real-life history, instead turning a real-life crime into a psychosexual spectacle. 

In real life, Lizzie was found not guilty by an all-male jury in the highly publicized 1892 trial, largely due to a lack of evidence including blood on her clothing and a murder weapon. Her initial statement contradicted her later testimony but her defense team argued that the morphine a doctor repeatedly gave her likely caused her confusion. But despite the fact that Lizzie was acquitted in court, she was ostracized by her community during her life and has been branded a murderer ever since.

Murphy’s highly fictionalized retelling of Lizzie’s story leans into this accusation not only that Lizzie murdered her father and stepmother with an axe but that she was successful in covering it up with the help of the maid Bridget Sullivan. Murphy not only concocts a sapphic relationship between Lizzie and Bridget, pinning the idea of killing Lizzie’s parents on the widely traveled woman who dyes her hair and is repeatedly called a lesbophobic slur by Lizzie’s stepmother, but also portrays Lizzie as an inspiration to Aileen Carol Wuornos, a woman who killed seven men who solicited sex and was also in a relationship with a woman. 

Further, Murphy’s retelling creates a false ending to Lizzie’s story. While in real life, Lizzie and her sister Emma buy a house called “Maplecroft” and live there for the rest of their lives, Murphy instead imagines Bridget returning sporadically for romantic rendezvous with Lizzie and eventually moving back in with her and marching together for women’s right to vote. In real life, Bridget left town immediately after providing testimony and lived in Montana until she died. 

Lesbophobia is at the heart of this retelling of Borden’s story. Despite the fact that Murphy depicts Lizzie and Bridget having sex and possibly getting married or at least promising themselves to one another wearing flower crowns, there is no evidence that Lizzie and Bridget had any romantic or sexual relationship. If they did have a relationship, it would likely have been hidden and any evidence destroyed, but records show that Lizzie herself refused to call Bridget by her real name, instead referring to her as “Maggie,” the name of their previous maid. It was only Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who called Bridget her real name. In Murphy’s retelling, it’s Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who refuses to learn or use Bridget’s actual name and treats her with disdain along with her stepdaughter.

Some people online argue that we are witnessing Lizzie’s story retold through Wuornos’s perspective, so adding in elements of child abuse and sapphic relationships would make sense, but there is no record that Wuornos ever visited Lizzie Borden’s home, or that she was inspired by Borden throughout her life. Instead, Murphy and his co-creator Ian Brennan use (or I would say exploit) Wuornos as a thematic device to make broad stereotypes about female rage across generations. In doing so, they conflate two real-life examples of violence to sapphic individuals.

Depicting a lesbian relationship in this way is not progress, nor is it fruitful representation today. As sapphic shows are increasingly cut and cancelled, Murphy’s inclusion just reinforces the lesbophobic and sexist stereotype that lesbians and queer women are “dangerous” to straight women and abet or incite violence against men and a family unit. At a time when anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and real-world violence and murder of LGBTQ+ people, especially queer and trans people of color, is exploding, stories that frame murder of a family unit as germinating from a sapphic relationship feed into far right narratives.

They further the myth popularized by far right leaders (including those in the highest echelons of government) that LGBTQ+ people are dangerous, a threat to heterosexual norms and family life, despite the data showing that children of same-sex parents have above average health and well-being according to research by the University of Melbourne.

Today, many LGBTQ+ people feel they have to be (or are forced to be) idealized versions of themselves in order to stave off anti-LGBTQ+ stigma, policing and violence. These “acceptable” behaviors and appearances are rooted not only in cisgender, heterosexual norms but also white supremacy, colonialism, xenophobia, and ableism. It is respectability politics that tell us how we can and should behave (including those perpetuating in the wider LGBTQ+ community) and push LGBTQ+ people to assimilate into a society governed by queerphobic normativity. 

I hope it’s clear that I’m not trying to argue that we cannot and should not have shows that depict queer women who kill, or at the very least queer women who are unethical or morally complex. We need these depictions because they ask difficult questions and they reference how some LGBTQ+ people can be and are unethical. In fact, several public LGBTQ+ figures are associated with employee abuse and exploitation, ableism, and fat phobia. 

But when Lizzie’s sapphic identity is invented to drive the story along, arguably to generate interest (especially straight men’s interest) in this spectacle of historical slop, it’s not a story that invites discourse and dimensionality, it’s one that collapses Lizzie, Wuornos, and queer women’s identities and relationships to plot devices. It objectifies and fetishizes queer women, arguably committing violence against not only Lizzie but also Wuornos.

And when there is so little representation of sapphic relationships on mainstream television or streaming platforms, it makes this the vast majority of representation that queer girls and women will see of themselves first, and that the straight public will see. Historians will know that Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie’s life is wrong, but many viewers will not and may not go digging for the truth.

Why not focus on the stories of bisexual, lesbian, and queer women who really existed, shared their identities (sometimes covertly, sometimes not), and had long-term partners? In fact, “Boston marriages” were common in this time period and referred to women living together when sexual and romantic relationships between women were illegal, partially because penal systems didn’t know how women could have sex with one another and didn’t want to put the idea in “impressionable” women’s minds. Why not focus on these stories instead of creating a fictionalized account? We have always existed; we do not need to invent relationships.

Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie Borden is deeply problematic. Lesbophobia is not the only issue at the heart of Murphy’s drama, but it merits a broader discussion about how mainstream media routinely hurt queer women and is part of perpetuating queerphobic violence, and what we all lose in the process. 

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