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Cupid ain’t stupid

Valentine’s Day gifts with a gay twist

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Homoquotables Greeting Cards, gay news, Washington Blade

By MIKEY ROX

Christmas just ended, but the next gift-giving holiday is already upon us. The best thing about Valentine’s Day, however, is that it really is the thought that counts. (People lie about that at Christmastime, ya know.)

To help you pick the perfect gift for your sweetie this Valentine’s Day, here’s our list of fun and frisky ideas that they’ll love to unwrap.

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear

Don’t let this cuddly couture teddy bear fool you. Inside its plush tummy are all the ingredients you’ll need for a night of passion, including candles, satin rose petals, edible love dust, a body massager, warming love oil, lube and a feather all nestled neatly within a small satin bag. To get to the contents, your main squeeze will have to use an included key on the heart-shaped lock. Bear My Secrets bears are available in girl and boy versions, identified by a purple headband or bowtie, respectively. ($96.69; bearmysecrets.com)

Image3D Viewers

Give your significant other a blast from the past this Valentine’s Day with a View-Master-style viewer and reel from Image3D. Pick and choose from your favorite photos to create a custom reel that will preserve seven of your most memorable images in just a few clicks. After you’ve selected the winning pics, you can edit them online and add 3-D captions that will appear on the final thumbnails. An option also is available to have viewers imprinted with text to commemorate the special occasion and year. Viewer colors include classic red, black, blue and white. ($24.95; image3D.com)

School of Wash Custom Fragrance

What’s that smell? Whatever you want it to be when you replace your partner’s store-bought fragrance with a custom concoction of pleasant aromas from School of Wash. The combinations are endless with fresh scents like Christmas tree, cucumber, lavender vanilla and mojito, which are paired with essential oils that include anise, lemongrass and rosemary, among many other options. Sow and Sow Man Pick-A-Scent handmade perfumes and colognes are available for men and women, and come in 1 ounce, 2.5 ounce, 4 ounce, and 8 ounce personalized aluminum spritzers. ($9-$16.50; schoolofwash.com)

Homoquotables Greeting Cards

Homoquotables Greeting Cards, gay news, Washington Blade

Homoquotables Greeting Cards

Skip the Hallmarks this year and say “I Love You” with Homoquotables, artistic greeting cards for gay couples in love. Memorable and historic quotes about love — from visionaries that run the gamut from Helen Keller to Trey Parker and Matt Stone — are paired with elegant and romantic original black-and-white images of same-sex couples just like you. Homoquotables is the brainchild of Colorado-based designer Dan McLellan, who shares his life with his husband Michael and their two kids. ($3; homoquotables.com)

JUARA Skincare Romancing the Candlenut Kit

Rub-a-dub-dub, hop in the tub! You and your lover can enjoy the ultimate in luxurious and relaxing one-on-one time with JUARA Skincare’s Romancing the Candlenut Kit, a skin-softening four-piece ritual that takes a sexy soak from ordinary to extraordinary. Inspired by the beauty secrets of Bali and infused with velvety candlenut oil, this elegant kit includes candlenut soap, body polish, body crème and perfume oil that will whisk you away to your own private paradise. ($30; juaraskincare.com)

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set

Melt your partner’s heart and a heaping helping of ooey-gooey chocolate with the Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set from Mastrad Orka. The set comes with everything you’ll need to feed each other sweet treats, including a fondue pot, warming stand, four fondue forks (just in case you want to share with friends) and a candle. Don’t be afraid to get creative, either — this chocolate fondue set works just as well in the dining room as it does in the boom-boom room. ($17.99; shopmastrad.com)

Proposition Love Jewelry

If you’re thinking about popping the question this Valentine’s Day, consider a set of “enGAYgement” rings from Proposition Love Fine Jewelry, which features a line of eclectic bands inspired by gay rights and marriage equality. All the rings in the Prop Love collection are made of high-quality materials, including 14K white and yellow gold, platinum and diamonds. A portion of the proceeds from each ring is donated to pro-equality organizations. Engraving options also are available. Jewelry designer Sam Street, who married his partner Jonathan in San Francisco in 2008, founded Proposition Love in 2011. ($275-$3,210; propositionlove.com)

FreeBeneath Robes

FreeBeneath Robes, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

FreeBeneath Robes

Encourage your lovebug to slip into something more comfortable for your romantic nights at home with The Original FreeBeneath, a stylish new take on the classic bathrobe. Instead of a cloth belt to close the robe like on conventional versions, The Original FreeBeneath is a pullover robe that allows wearers to let it all hang loose while staying confident that they’re completely covered up. FreeBeneath robes comes in a variety of fabrics and colors and in the two years since the family-owned company’s launch they’ve gained a robust celeb following and interest from some of the world’s top spas and resorts. ($79-$129; freebeneath.com)

Lovoka Liqueur

Put a cork in the wine this year and reach for something with a bit more punch. Lovoka, the first 60-proof liqueur to debut in the United States, is made from the finest triple-distilled vodka and delicately infused with a rich, buttery caramel essence. Liquid gold, you might even say. Lovoka is divine on the rocks, mixed with after-dinner coffee, or poured all over your partner. Bottoms up. ($27.99; lovokausa.com)

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers

Skip the requisite skimpy skivvies and opt for more flattering, freeing underwear to gift this Valentine’s Day. Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers feature a flat-front waist, contoured seat design to counteract the “riding up” effect, side vents on the outseam of each leg for greater mobility and range of motion, and a button closure in the front — truly as close as you’ll get to a bespoke boxer without a tailor. There are 10 dapper styles from which to choose, including solids, stripes, plaids and gingham. If you’ve got a guy who likes to look great even in the items that most people won’t see, Pengallan are the perfect present — that you can both enjoy. ($80; pengallan.com)

Adult Loaded Questions

Turn your couples’ V-Day celebration into a night of unexpected admissions with Adult Loaded Questions, the irreverent and off-the-wall board game that features 300 suggestively silly questions. Your party guests will get a kick out of queries like: “What is a sure sign you are dating a psycho?,” “If you were an adult film star, what would be your screen name?” and “What television show would you watch if it included full nudity?” By the time the game is over, you’ll all be a little bit closer, for better or worse. ($24.99; familyandpartygames.com)

Out Colors Jewelry

Out Colors Jewelry, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Out Colors Jewelry

Not ready to put a ring on it? Take your time, and in the meantime consider another piece of sentimental jewelry from Out Colors. This gay-owned online jeweler features an array of pendants, bracelets, necklaces and watches that can be personalized with your favorite photos. For those who aren’t partial to jewelry, Out Colors also offers a wide selection of other keepsakes, including apparel, crystal accessories and home-art items like woven tapestries, canvases, matte-finish posters and wall murals. ($9.95-$2,771.95; outcolors.com)

Love By Robot T-Shirts

Make that hot nerd in your life swoon over the geek-chic Love By Robot T-shirt that features an adorable android who proudly wears his heart on his cold, steely chest. Ts are available for men and women and come in grey or glow-in-the-dark black. ($25; lovebyrobot.com)

Love Is Art

Love Is Art, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Love Is Art

Take a pass on the limited-edition prints this year and pursue a more personalized route with a Love is Art kit. Each kit is equipped with all the materials you’ll need to make an abstract expressionistic masterpiece with your partner in the most intimate way possible using your bodies. When the piece is complete, it can be stretched, framed, and hung on the wall as a reminder of your love and commitment to one another for years to come. Kits are available in myriad themes (like wedding or equality) and colors to match your décor. ($60-$110; loveisartkit.com)

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and blogger who lives in New York City with his husband and their two dogs. Follow him on Twitter @mikeyrox.

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Real Estate

Hidden hazards at home

Professional inspections can help catch safety issues early

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Test smoke detectors monthly and change batteries at least once a year. (Photo by Phonlamaiphoto/Bigstock)

As the spring market hits its stride, we are beginning to see more inventory and an increase in days on the market in parts of the DMV. This may result in professional home inspections becoming routine parts of contract offers again. A thorough home inspection can help catch safety issues early and is an opportunity to learn about the operation and maintenance of items in your home.

Pay attention to flickering lights, frequently tripped breakers, and discolored outlets—these are signs of potential electrical hazards. Outdated wiring, overloaded outlets, and faulty appliances can lead to electrical fires. 

Structural issues are often overlooked until it’s too late. Crumbling foundations, weak or damaged stairs, loose railings, and uneven flooring can cause trips and falls. Water damage from leaks or flooding can weaken the integrity of floors and walls, creating a risk of collapse. 

Toxic chemicals can pose serious threats to health and safety, often without obvious warning signs. Understanding and addressing these risks is crucial for maintaining a safe living environment for you and your loved ones.

Household products such as cleaners, pesticides, air fresheners, and even cosmetics can emit volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These compounds, when inhaled regularly, can cause a range of health issues including headaches, respiratory problems, hormonal disruptions, and in some cases, even cancer. To minimize these risks, homeowners should opt for low-VOC or VOC-free products, ventilate regularly, and consider investing in an air purifier. 

Formaldehyde is another common toxin found in pressed wood products, insulation, and certain paints. Long-term exposure can lead to chronic respiratory problems and has been linked to cancer. 

Radon gas, another possible carcinogen, is prevalent in the DMV. Your home inspector can do a radon test or there are DIY kits available at many hardware stores. If levels are above EPA standards, a professional remediation firm can install a system that extracts the radon and vents it safely outdoors.

Carbon monoxide (CO), a colorless, odorless gas, is produced by gas stoves, heaters, and fireplaces. Exposure can lead to headaches, dizziness, nausea, and even death. Install CO detectors near bedrooms and ensure that all fuel-burning appliances are properly maintained and ventilated. 

Additionally, older homes may still contain asbestos in insulation, floor tiles, or roofing materials. If disturbed, asbestos fibers can become airborne and are highly dangerous when inhaled, leading to serious diseases such as mesothelioma, so when renovating an older home, it’s critical to have materials tested for asbestos before beginning work.

Mold and mildew thrive in damp, poorly ventilated areas such as bathrooms, basements, and around leaky pipes. While some molds are harmless, others can cause allergic reactions or respiratory problems and aggravate conditions such as asthma. Black mold (Stachybotrys chartarum) is notorious for producing mycotoxins that may lead to severe health issues.

Signs of mold include musty odors, visible growth on walls or ceilings, and excessive humidity. Preventing mold growth requires controlling moisture levels—using dehumidifiers and vapor barriers, fixing leaks promptly, and ensuring adequate ventilation. Professional mold remediation may be necessary for severe infestations.

Though banned in residential paints in 1978, lead-based paint still exists in millions of older homes. Lead exposure is especially dangerous for children, causing developmental delays, learning difficulties, and behavioral issues. Adults are not immune – lead can lead to high blood pressure, kidney damage, and reproductive problems.

Even dust from deteriorating lead-based paint can be hazardous. The EPA recommends professional lead testing for any home built before 1978, especially if renovations are planned. Certified abatement professionals can safely remove or encapsulate lead paint.

Improper use of heating equipment, fireplaces, unattended candles, and cooking accidents are common sources of home fires. Smoke alarms and fire extinguishers are essential for early detection and response. Test smoke detectors monthly and change batteries at least once a year.

Homes that are safe for adults may not be safe for children or pets. Small objects, unsecured cabinets, toxic plants, and open staircases can pose significant risks. Childproofing measures such as outlet covers, safety gates, and cabinet locks, along with safe storage of chemicals and medications, are essential precautions.

The good news is that many of these risks can be mitigated with awareness and action. Here are a few simple steps to enhance home safety:

• Conduct a thorough safety audit using checklists available online.

• Ensure proper ventilation to reduce indoor air pollutants.

• Regularly check for leaks and signs of water damage.

• Keep cleaning and chemical products out of reach of children.

• Educate all household members about emergency procedures, including fire escapes and first aid.

Our homes should protect us, not pose threats to our well-being. By identifying and addressing these toxic and unsafe issues, we can transform our living spaces into truly safe havens.


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Advice

I make more money than my partner and getting resentful

She’s taking advantage of a joint credit card

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(Photo by Nik_Sorokin/Bigstock)

Hi Michael,

I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).

But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back. 

Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?)

I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget. 

And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.

She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.

If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me. 

Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.

Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.

Michael replies:

For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.

Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford? That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.

What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.

That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.  

It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet. 

Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.

If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?  

There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.

Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?  

Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway?  Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?

Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves in the same miserable situation, over and over again. What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.  

I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe. You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg.

Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.

Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.

You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position. 

One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

April showers bring May flowers in life — and in real estate

Third time’s the charm for buyer plagued with problems

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As Dolly Parton says, ‘If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain’ (Photo by Rangizzz/Bigstock)

Working in the real estate sector in D.C. can be as uniquely “D.C.” as the residents feel about their own city. On any given day, someone could be selling a home that their grandmother bought, passed on to the relatives, and the transfer of generational wealth continues.  In that same transaction, the beginning steps of building of generational wealth could be taking place.

Across town, an international buyer could be looking for a condo with very specific characteristics that remind them of the way things are “back home.” Maybe they want to live in a building with a pool because they grew up by the sea. Maybe they want a large kitchen so they can cook grandma’s recipes. Maybe they will be on MSNBC once a month and need to have a home office fit for those Zoom sessions where they will be live on air, or recording their podcast.  Perhaps they play the saxophone and want a building with thick walls so they can make a joyful noise without causing their neighbors to file a cease-and-desist order.  

What I found fascinating was getting to know my buyers. Why were they purchasing their property? What did they want to do with it? Was this their grandmother’s dream that they would have a place of their own someday? Did they finally think they would write that award-winning play in the home office?  What dreams were going to be fulfilled while taking part in this transaction?  

Somedays, the muck and paperwork slog of navigating home inspection items and financing checklists could get to be distracting at best, and almost downright disheartening at worst.  

One of my clients was under contract on THREE places before we finally closed on a home. One building was discovered to have financing issues, and the residents were not keeping up with their condo fees. Another building had an issue with the title to the unit, which meant the seller could not sell the home for at least another year until that legal snag was resolved. As the months rolled by, she was losing heart and feeling defeated. When we finally found the third home, everything seemed great – and then about two weeks before the settlement, the rains came down and the windows leaked into the bedrooms.  

Another delay. (Our THIRD). This time, for several more weeks.

I think she wanted to pack a suitcase, go to the airport, get on a plane somewhere and never come back. What ultimately happened? The building repaired the windows, the seller’s insurance replaced the hardwood floors, and she bought her first condo, which she still enjoys to this day.  

As Dolly Parton says, “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain.”  And finally, after months of looking, waiting, and overcoming obstacles, the rainbow peeked out from behind the clouds.  


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.  He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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