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Cupid ain’t stupid

Valentine’s Day gifts with a gay twist

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Homoquotables Greeting Cards, gay news, Washington Blade

By MIKEY ROX

Christmas just ended, but the next gift-giving holiday is already upon us. The best thing about Valentine’s Day, however, is that it really is the thought that counts. (People lie about that at Christmastime, ya know.)

To help you pick the perfect gift for your sweetie this Valentine’s Day, here’s our list of fun and frisky ideas that they’ll love to unwrap.

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear

Don’t let this cuddly couture teddy bear fool you. Inside its plush tummy are all the ingredients you’ll need for a night of passion, including candles, satin rose petals, edible love dust, a body massager, warming love oil, lube and a feather all nestled neatly within a small satin bag. To get to the contents, your main squeeze will have to use an included key on the heart-shaped lock. Bear My Secrets bears are available in girl and boy versions, identified by a purple headband or bowtie, respectively. ($96.69; bearmysecrets.com)

Image3D Viewers

Give your significant other a blast from the past this Valentine’s Day with a View-Master-style viewer and reel from Image3D. Pick and choose from your favorite photos to create a custom reel that will preserve seven of your most memorable images in just a few clicks. After you’ve selected the winning pics, you can edit them online and add 3-D captions that will appear on the final thumbnails. An option also is available to have viewers imprinted with text to commemorate the special occasion and year. Viewer colors include classic red, black, blue and white. ($24.95; image3D.com)

School of Wash Custom Fragrance

What’s that smell? Whatever you want it to be when you replace your partner’s store-bought fragrance with a custom concoction of pleasant aromas from School of Wash. The combinations are endless with fresh scents like Christmas tree, cucumber, lavender vanilla and mojito, which are paired with essential oils that include anise, lemongrass and rosemary, among many other options. Sow and Sow Man Pick-A-Scent handmade perfumes and colognes are available for men and women, and come in 1 ounce, 2.5 ounce, 4 ounce, and 8 ounce personalized aluminum spritzers. ($9-$16.50; schoolofwash.com)

Homoquotables Greeting Cards

Homoquotables Greeting Cards, gay news, Washington Blade

Homoquotables Greeting Cards

Skip the Hallmarks this year and say “I Love You” with Homoquotables, artistic greeting cards for gay couples in love. Memorable and historic quotes about love — from visionaries that run the gamut from Helen Keller to Trey Parker and Matt Stone — are paired with elegant and romantic original black-and-white images of same-sex couples just like you. Homoquotables is the brainchild of Colorado-based designer Dan McLellan, who shares his life with his husband Michael and their two kids. ($3; homoquotables.com)

JUARA Skincare Romancing the Candlenut Kit

Rub-a-dub-dub, hop in the tub! You and your lover can enjoy the ultimate in luxurious and relaxing one-on-one time with JUARA Skincare’s Romancing the Candlenut Kit, a skin-softening four-piece ritual that takes a sexy soak from ordinary to extraordinary. Inspired by the beauty secrets of Bali and infused with velvety candlenut oil, this elegant kit includes candlenut soap, body polish, body crème and perfume oil that will whisk you away to your own private paradise. ($30; juaraskincare.com)

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set

Melt your partner’s heart and a heaping helping of ooey-gooey chocolate with the Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set from Mastrad Orka. The set comes with everything you’ll need to feed each other sweet treats, including a fondue pot, warming stand, four fondue forks (just in case you want to share with friends) and a candle. Don’t be afraid to get creative, either — this chocolate fondue set works just as well in the dining room as it does in the boom-boom room. ($17.99; shopmastrad.com)

Proposition Love Jewelry

If you’re thinking about popping the question this Valentine’s Day, consider a set of “enGAYgement” rings from Proposition Love Fine Jewelry, which features a line of eclectic bands inspired by gay rights and marriage equality. All the rings in the Prop Love collection are made of high-quality materials, including 14K white and yellow gold, platinum and diamonds. A portion of the proceeds from each ring is donated to pro-equality organizations. Engraving options also are available. Jewelry designer Sam Street, who married his partner Jonathan in San Francisco in 2008, founded Proposition Love in 2011. ($275-$3,210; propositionlove.com)

FreeBeneath Robes

FreeBeneath Robes, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

FreeBeneath Robes

Encourage your lovebug to slip into something more comfortable for your romantic nights at home with The Original FreeBeneath, a stylish new take on the classic bathrobe. Instead of a cloth belt to close the robe like on conventional versions, The Original FreeBeneath is a pullover robe that allows wearers to let it all hang loose while staying confident that they’re completely covered up. FreeBeneath robes comes in a variety of fabrics and colors and in the two years since the family-owned company’s launch they’ve gained a robust celeb following and interest from some of the world’s top spas and resorts. ($79-$129; freebeneath.com)

Lovoka Liqueur

Put a cork in the wine this year and reach for something with a bit more punch. Lovoka, the first 60-proof liqueur to debut in the United States, is made from the finest triple-distilled vodka and delicately infused with a rich, buttery caramel essence. Liquid gold, you might even say. Lovoka is divine on the rocks, mixed with after-dinner coffee, or poured all over your partner. Bottoms up. ($27.99; lovokausa.com)

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers

Skip the requisite skimpy skivvies and opt for more flattering, freeing underwear to gift this Valentine’s Day. Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers feature a flat-front waist, contoured seat design to counteract the “riding up” effect, side vents on the outseam of each leg for greater mobility and range of motion, and a button closure in the front — truly as close as you’ll get to a bespoke boxer without a tailor. There are 10 dapper styles from which to choose, including solids, stripes, plaids and gingham. If you’ve got a guy who likes to look great even in the items that most people won’t see, Pengallan are the perfect present — that you can both enjoy. ($80; pengallan.com)

Adult Loaded Questions

Turn your couples’ V-Day celebration into a night of unexpected admissions with Adult Loaded Questions, the irreverent and off-the-wall board game that features 300 suggestively silly questions. Your party guests will get a kick out of queries like: “What is a sure sign you are dating a psycho?,” “If you were an adult film star, what would be your screen name?” and “What television show would you watch if it included full nudity?” By the time the game is over, you’ll all be a little bit closer, for better or worse. ($24.99; familyandpartygames.com)

Out Colors Jewelry

Out Colors Jewelry, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Out Colors Jewelry

Not ready to put a ring on it? Take your time, and in the meantime consider another piece of sentimental jewelry from Out Colors. This gay-owned online jeweler features an array of pendants, bracelets, necklaces and watches that can be personalized with your favorite photos. For those who aren’t partial to jewelry, Out Colors also offers a wide selection of other keepsakes, including apparel, crystal accessories and home-art items like woven tapestries, canvases, matte-finish posters and wall murals. ($9.95-$2,771.95; outcolors.com)

Love By Robot T-Shirts

Make that hot nerd in your life swoon over the geek-chic Love By Robot T-shirt that features an adorable android who proudly wears his heart on his cold, steely chest. Ts are available for men and women and come in grey or glow-in-the-dark black. ($25; lovebyrobot.com)

Love Is Art

Love Is Art, Valentine's Gift Guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Love Is Art

Take a pass on the limited-edition prints this year and pursue a more personalized route with a Love is Art kit. Each kit is equipped with all the materials you’ll need to make an abstract expressionistic masterpiece with your partner in the most intimate way possible using your bodies. When the piece is complete, it can be stretched, framed, and hung on the wall as a reminder of your love and commitment to one another for years to come. Kits are available in myriad themes (like wedding or equality) and colors to match your décor. ($60-$110; loveisartkit.com)

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and blogger who lives in New York City with his husband and their two dogs. Follow him on Twitter @mikeyrox.

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Real Estate

The rise of virtual home tours

Adapting to changing consumer preferences in spring real estate

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Looking for a home? Virtual tours hold special benefits for queer buyers.

In today’s dynamic real estate market, the spring season brings not only blooming flowers but also a surge of activity as buyers and sellers alike prepare to make their moves. However, in recent years, there’s been a notable shift in how consumers prefer to explore potential homes: the rise of virtual tours. 

For the LGBTQ community, these virtual experiences offer more than just convenience; they provide accessibility, safety, and inclusivity in the home buying process. 

Gone are the days of spending weekends driving from one open house to another – unless that’s your thing of course, only to find that the property doesn’t quite match expectations. With virtual tours, you can explore every corner of a home from the comfort of your own space – find something interesting? Schedule a showing with any LGBTQ Realtor at GayRealEstate.com.

This is particularly significant for LGBTQ individuals, who may face unique challenges or concerns when attending in-person showings. Whether it’s the ability to discreetly view properties without fear of discrimination or the convenience of touring homes located in LGBTQ-friendly neighborhoods across the country, virtual tours offer a sense of empowerment and control in the home buying process.

Moreover, virtual tours cater to the diverse needs of the LGBTQ community. For couples or families with busy schedules or those living in different cities or states, these digital walkthroughs provide a convenient way to view properties together without the need for extensive travel. Additionally, for individuals who may be exploring their gender identity or transitioning, virtual tours offer a low-pressure environment to explore potential living spaces without the added stress of in-person interactions.

At GayRealEstate.com, we understand the importance of adapting to changing consumer preferences and leveraging technology to better serve our community. That’s why our agents offer an extensive selection of virtual tours for LGBTQ individuals and allies alike – visit our website, choose an agent and within minutes you’ll have access to the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) via their website.

From cozy condominiums in bustling urban centers to sprawling estates in picturesque suburbs, virtual tours showcase a wide range of properties tailored to diverse tastes and lifestyles.

In addition to virtual tours, GayRealEstate.com provides comprehensive resources and support to guide LGBTQ buyers and sellers through every step of the real estate journey. Our network of LGBTQ-friendly agents is committed to providing personalized service, advocacy, and representation to ensure that all individuals feel respected, valued, and empowered throughout the process. Plus, we are happy to provide a free relocation kit to any city in the USA or Canada if you are a home buyer.

As we embrace the spring season and all the opportunities it brings in the real estate market, let’s also celebrate the power of virtual tours to revolutionize the way we find and experience our future homes. Whether you’re searching for your first apartment, forever home, or investment property, GayRealEstate.com is here to help you navigate the exciting world of real estate with confidence, pride, and inclusivity.

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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Advice

Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?

Debating whether to leave or stay after the sex goes cold

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Dear Michael,

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the sex is pretty much gone. It stopped being exciting a long time ago and pretty much the only time we ever do it is with the occasional third.

A really hot guy moved into our building about a year ago. We would see each other sometimes in the elevator or at our building’s gym and we started talking and really hit it off. Mark is 15 years younger than I but we seem to have a lot in common. We started hooking up and the sex is amazing.

I haven’t told my husband because it’s breaking our rule about no repeats. I have to say that the secrecy is hot. It’s kind of a thrill to take the elevator upstairs when I say I’m going on an errand. But it’s more than that. I have a connection with Mark that is far more amazing than what I have ever felt with my husband. Not just the sex. We just enjoy being together, talking about anything and everything.

My husband went to visit his family last weekend and I spent the whole time with Mark. Since then I can’t stop thinking that I want to leave my husband and be with Mark.

Part of me thinks this is a crazy mid-life crisis. I mean, this kid’s in a totally different place in life. But we have mind-blowing sex and a fantastic connection. I’d like your thoughts on how to proceed.

Michael replies: 

You’ve got a lot to consider.

First: Sex with a long-term partner changes over time. It tends to be less about erotic heat and more about the connection with a person whom you love. In other words, it’s being with the person you’re with that makes the sex meaningful and even great. Having a good sexual relationship with a long-term partner comes far more from a heart connection than from a crotch attachment.  

Second: You seem ready to throw your relationship under the bus pretty quickly, without addressing other problems in the relationship besides sex. When you are sneaking around, lying, and rule-breaking , I don’t see how you can look your husband in the eye; and if you can’t look him in the eye, you certainly can’t have even a half-way decent relationship.

Yet another point to consider: Affairs pretty much always seem more exciting than marriage. The partner is new, which almost automatically makes the sex hotter; the secrecy is a thrill; and you don’t have to deal with paying the rent, house chores, and all the petty annoyances of living up-close with someone day-in, day-out.  

You are bringing lots of energy to your affair, and everything about it is exciting. You are bringing no energy — at least no positive energy — to your marriage. You get what you put into a relationship.

Divorce is not something that should be entered into lightly. Be aware that if you leave your husband for Mark, you will no doubt find over time that the sex becomes less exciting and that the connection is not always fantastic. No surprise, 75 percent of marriages that begin with affair partners end in divorce. While I don’t think statistics predict what will happen to any particular couple, believing that you will have a significantly better relationship with your affair partner than you did with your husband sets you up for likely disappointment.

Many gay men focus on “hot sex” as the big draw, pursuing a lot of sex with a lot of men, and/or pursuing an ongoing series of relationships that last until the sex cools. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But it’s a different path from pursuing a close and loving long-term relationship, which involves knowing someone well and having him know you well; collaborating on getting through the hard stuff life throws at us; finding ways to make peace with disappointment; and consistently striving to be someone worth being married to. 

How to proceed? While you are the only person who should make that decision, I would suggest that whatever your choice, keep in mind that marriage can be more than what you’ve made of it, so far.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Autos

Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class

Updated cabins, adept handling, and more

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Jeep Grand Cherokee

Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend. 

Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.” 

And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan. 

If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink). 

JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE 

$40,000

MPG: 19 city/26 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft. 

PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing 

CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels

IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds. 

There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition. 

Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.    

I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system. 

The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level. 

MERCEDES GLE-CLASS

$64,000 

MPG: 20 city/25 highway

0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft. 

PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy 

CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors

IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two. 

Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles. 

My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.

You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly. 

Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls. 

It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.

Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.

Mercedes GLE-Class
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