National
Remembering Sean Sasser
AIDS activist spent final year in D.C.; memorial is Saturday
Sean Sasser working as a pastry chef at RIS, his last job. Sasser died Aug. 7. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)
Sean Sasser memorial service
Saturday at 11 a.m.
National City Christian Church
5 Thomas Circle, N.W.
Michael Kaplan and his late partner Sean Sasser had a circuitous romantic life.
The two met in 1991 and worked together waiting tables at the same bar in Minneapolis. But both were dating other people at the time and several months later, Sasser moved to San Francisco, a move that would prove life altering. While there, he met, dated and eventually married Pedro Zamora, a romance memorably captured on MTV’s “Real World: San Francisco” during its third season in 1994.
Kaplan and Sasser met again in 1996 at a conference and dated for about two years, some of which was long distance. They were apart for several years but reconnected in 2006 and spent the last six years living together.
Sasser, a long-time AIDS activist and pastry chef, spent his final years in Washington with Kaplan. He died Aug. 7 of HIV-exacerbated mesothelioma, a rare lung cancer Kaplan says Sasser was likely exposed to while working with asbestos fixing up old houses in his native Detroit decades ago. Sasser, born Oct. 25, 1968, was 45.
A public memorial service is planned for Saturday at 11 a.m. at National City Christian Church at Thomas Circle in Washington. “Real World” cast members Judd Winick and Pam Ling will speak along with Phill Wilson, president and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute, and Douglas Brooks, chair of AIDS United’s Board of Trustees and a member of the President’s Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS.
Kaplan is the president and CEO of AIDS United. He spoke with the Blade at length this week about his relationship with Sasser.
After many years of working various jobs and each being in different cities at different times, Kaplan and Sasser moved to Washington last fall. Alarmed by a health scare in May, the two got married in June. Kaplan says it was a “long-term, committed serious relationship” in which “we both talked about and planned our futures together.” At one point in Oregon, the two were foster parents of a child named Alice who lived with them from the time she was 4 to 6.
Sasser had lived with HIV for 25 years; Kaplan for 20. Kaplan says Sasser “went quickly.”
“He probably lost 60 pounds in the last nine weeks of his life,” Kaplan says. “He was a real solid guy. On June 17, they confirmed that this thing in his lung was cancerous. By July, it was confirmed as stage four mesothelioma. He had one round of chemo, but it was just too aggressive. Doctors said he wasn’t strong enough for another round. And by Aug. 7 he was gone.”
Kaplan says he has “a strong network of friends” and is doing as well as can be expected.
“It’s a lot of change right now,” he says.
Sasser is survived by his mother, Pat Robinson Sasser, and a sister, Staci White. Both are expected to attend the service this weekend. Sasser’s father died a few years ago.
After Zamora’s death in November 1994 — just hours after the last episode of his season of “Real World” aired — Sasser, who’d been rejected by the Navy for an HIV-positive test, traveled widely speaking at colleges about HIV. He worked with Health Initiatives for Youth, GLAAD, Human Rights Campaign and the AIDS Alliance for Children Youth & Families. He was appointed by President Clinton to the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS.
Kaplan says after about four years of AIDS advocacy work, Sasser was ready to return to his first love — cooking.
He says Sasser never mentioned to people he met that he’d been on “Real World,” but would confirm it if people recognized him and brought it up themselves. He had a few boxes of “Real World” mementos and a couple photos with President Clinton packed away. He took them with him each time he moved, but never unpacked them.
“He didn’t hide it, but he’d moved on,” Kaplan says. “In Portland especially, he’d really built up quite a place for himself as a pastry chef at a hotel there, The Nines. They had two restaurants and he oversaw a lot of banquets and that type of thing there. … He loved the precision of baking and training others how to do it.”
The topic of Zamora wasn’t taboo among them, Kaplan says, and Zamora’s name would come up occasionally. Kaplan recalls watching the 2008 biopic “Pedro” with Sasser and remembers him saying how “hard it is to see someone else portray you” (DaJuan Johnson played Sasser in the film).
Although Kaplan says Sasser would have been shocked that so many media outlets reported his death, he says Sasser “was quite aware of the visibility” his “Real World” appearances had afforded him.
“He definitely knew that it was a real landmark for this young, gay couple, two men of color with HIV, to be shown getting married,” Kaplan says. “For so many people, it was some of the first public faces of HIV they’d seen. They were the first face of many things as young, queer men of color. Sean totally understood the magnitude of that and never shunned it. He didn’t seek attention, but he knew that if having his face out there would make a difference, he was happy to do so.”
Kaplan says one thing that might surprise people about Sasser was his love of children. He mentored several kids affected by HIV in both Portland and Atlanta.
“If Sean had had his way, we would have had three kids and a house,” Kaplan says. “He loved music, he loved baking, he loved traveling and he loved children. He was an incredibly humble person and he was just all about living his life.”
Donations to the Sean Sasser Endowment Fund can be made at seansasserfund.aidsunited.org.
Federal Government
US Census Bureau testing survey on LGBTQ households
Agency proposing questions about sexual orientation and gender identity
The U.S. Census Bureau is seeking public comment on a proposed test of sexual orientation and gender identity questions on the American Community Survey. The test would begin this summer and continue into next year.
The Census Bureau published the request as a Federal Register notice. In its press release the agency noted that the ACS is an ongoing survey that collects detailed housing and socioeconomic data. It allows the Census Bureau to provide timely and relevant housing and socioeconomic statistics, even for low levels of geography.
As part of the process for adding new questions to the ACS, the Census Bureau tests potential questions to evaluate the quality of the data collected.
The Census Bureau proposes testing questions about sexual orientation and gender identity to meet the needs of other federal agencies that have expressed interest in or have identified legal uses for the information, such as enforcing civil rights and equal employment measures.
The test would follow the protocols of the actual ACS — with one person asked to respond to the survey on behalf of the entire household. These particular questions are asked about people 15 years of age or older. Households are invited to respond to the survey online, by paper questionnaire or by phone.
The current Federal Register notice gives the public a final opportunity to provide feedback before the Census Bureau submits its recommendations to the Office of Management and Budget for approval. The public may provide feedback through May 30 online.
The White House
Judy Shepard to receive Presidential Medal of Freedom
Nancy Pelosi is also among this year’s honorees
Beloved LGBTQ advocate Judy Shepard is among the 19 honorees who will receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the U.S., the White House announced on Friday.
The mother of Matthew Shepard, who was killed in 1998 in the country’s most notorious anti-gay hate crime, she co-founded the Matthew Shepard Foundation with her husband Dennis to raise awareness about anti-LGBTQ violence.
The organization runs education, outreach, and advocacy programs, many focused on schools.
In a statement shared via the Human Rights Campaign, Shepard said, “This unexpected honor has been very humbling for me, Dennis, and our family. What makes us proud is knowing our President and our nation share our lifelong commitment to making this world a safer, more loving, more respectful, and more peaceful place for everyone.
“I am grateful to everyone whose love and support for our work through the years has sustained me.
“If I had the power to change one thing, I can only dream of the example that Matt’s life and purpose would have shown, had he lived. This honor reminds the world that his life, and every life, is precious.”
Shepard was instrumental in working with then-President Barack Obama for passage of the landmark Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act in 2009, which was led in the House by then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), who will also be honored with a Presidential Medal of Freedom during the ceremony on Friday.
Also in 2009, Shepard published a memoir, “The Meaning of Matthew: My Son’s Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed,” and was honored with the Black Tie Dinner Elizabeth Birch Equality Award.
“Judy Shepard has been a champion for equality and President Biden’s choice to honor her with the Presidential Medal of Freedom is a testament to what she’s done to be a force of good in the world,” HRC President Kelley Robinson said in a statement.
“A mother who turned unspeakable grief over the loss of her son into a decades-long fight against anti-LGBTQ+ hatred and violence, Judy continues to make a lasting impact in the lives of the LGBTQ+ community,” she said.
“It is because of her advocacy that the first federal hate crimes legislation became law and that countless life-saving trainings, resources and conversations about equality and acceptance are provided each year by the Matthew Shepard Foundation,” Robinson said. “We are honored that Judy is a member of the HRC family and know that her work to create a more inclusive and just world will only continue.”
Other awardees who will be honored by the White House this year are: Actor Michelle Yeoh, entrepreneur and former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Jesuit Catholic priest Gregory Boyle, Assistant House Democratic Leader Jim Clyburn (D-S.C.), former Labor and Education Secretary and former U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole (R-N.C.), journalist and former daytime talkshow host Phil Donahue, World War II veteran and civil rights activist Medgar Evers (posthumous), former Vice President Al Gore, civil rights activist and lawyer Clarence B. Jones, former Secretary of State and U.S. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.), former U.S. Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.) (posthumous), Olympic swimmer Katie Ledecky, educator and activist Opal Lee, astronaut and former director of NASA’s Johnson Space Center Ellen Ochoa, astronomer Jane Rigby, United Farm Workers President Teresa Romero, and Olympic athlete Jim Thorpe (posthumous).
National
United Methodist Church removes 40-year ban on gay clergy
Delegates also voted for other LGBTQ-inclusive measures
The United Methodist Church on Wednesday removed a ban on gay clergy that was in place for more than 40 years, voting to also allow LGBTQ weddings and end prohibitions on the use of United Methodist funds to “promote acceptance of homosexuality.”
Overturning the policy forbidding the church from ordaining “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” effectively formalized a practice that had caused an estimated quarter of U.S. congregations to leave the church.
The New York Times notes additional votes “affirming L.G.B.T.Q. inclusion in the church are expected before the meeting adjourns on Friday.” Wednesday’s measures were passed overwhelmingly and without debate. Delegates met in Charlotte, N.C.
According to the church’s General Council on Finance and Administration, there were 5,424,175 members in the U.S. in 2022 with an estimated global membership approaching 10 million.
The Times notes that other matters of business last week included a “regionalization” plan, which gave autonomy to different regions such that they can establish their own rules on matters including issues of sexuality — about which international factions are likelier to have more conservative views.
Rev. Kipp Nelson of St. Johns’s on the Lake Methodist Church in Miami shared a statement praising the new developments:
“It is a glorious day in the United Methodist Church. As a worldwide denomination, we have now publicly proclaimed the boundless love of God and finally slung open the doors of our church so that all people, no matter their identities or orientations, may pursue the calling of their hearts.
“Truly, all are loved and belong here among us. I am honored to serve as a pastor in the United Methodist Church for such a time as this, for our future is bright and filled with hope. Praise be, praise be.”
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