News
Lawmakers seek fed’l recognition for Michigan same-sex marriages
Delegation calls on DOJ to clarify whether administration will recognize unions
Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.) is among the lawmakers calling for federal recognition of Michigan same-sex marriages (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key).
In a letter dated March 27, six lawmakers — led by Rep. Dan Kildee (D-Mich.) — called on U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder to recognize the marriages in the wake of a federal district court decision striking down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage.
“The Court’s decision was a historic step toward equal protection for all American families, regardless of sexual orientation,” the lawmakers write. “By clarifying the federal status of these now married same-sex couples in Michigan—as you did in January for similarly situated same-sex couples in Utah—you can take another step toward full equality.”
Lawmakers seek federal recognition of the same-sex marriages performed on Saturday in Michigan prior to an indefinite stay placed on the weddings by the U.S. Sixth Circuit of Appeals. Gov. Rick Snyder, a Republican who’s seeking re-election, said Wednesday the state recognizes the marriages as legal, but won’t afford the couples state benefits unless the stay is lifted.
But the Justice Department hasn’t yet announced a decision on whether federal benefits would flow to the couples. The department didn’t immediately respond to a request to comment on the letter from Michigan’s federal delegation. Allison Price, a Justice Department spokesperson, had said earlier this week the administration is “closely monitoring the situation.”
Six Democratic members of Michigan’s federal delegation to Congress signed the letter. In addition to Kildee, Reps. John Dingell (D-Mich.), Sander Levin (D-Mich.) and Gary Peters (D-Mich.) signed the letter as well as both U.S. senators from Michigan: Carl Levin (D-Mich.) and Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.).
The only Democratic member of Michigan federal delegation not to sign the letter is Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.). His absence is noteworthy because he supports marriage equality and was chief sponsor of the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which extended federal hate crimes protections to LGBT people. Conyers’ office didn’t immediately respond to a request to comment on why his name was absent from the letter.
None of the nine Republicans making up the 16 members of Michigan’s federal delegation to Congress signed the letter.
Mitchell Rivard, a Kildee spokesperson, deferred to the Republicans as to why their names are absent from the missive.
“The Democratic delegation, as demonstrated by today’s letter calling for federal recognition of the legal marriages performed last week, are certainly unified in standing for equality for all Michiganders,” Rivard said.
Among the couples who wed in Michigan on Saturday were Anne Callison, 37, and Kelly Callison, 34. The couple, who has a two-year-old named Corbin, married in Ann Arbor, Mich., after being been together five years.
During a conference call with reporters, Anne said recognition of her marriage is important so that Kelly has second-parent adoption rights for their son. Kelly is the egg donor for Corbin, but Anne is the birth mother.
“I would say the thing that’s the most scary is that in order for Kelly to do things like pick him up from child care…access his medical records, all of that means that I have to give permission ahead of time,” Anne said. “Kelly is a stay-at-home mom, and I am working full-time. She should be able to do those things.”
Taking issue with Snyder’s decision not to allow benefits to flow to her and her spouse, Anne said she doesn’t understand why a stay being in place halting additional same-sex marriages led to that decision.
“I’m married, I have a Michigan marriage certificate, it has a seal and witnesses,” Anne said. “I don’t know how much more legal it can get than that.”
For her part, Kelly said the lack of recognition of her marriage continues to build “stress and anxiety” for her entire family.
“We have a two-year-old son that is the center of our lives and because of Gov. Snyder not recognizing a marriage that he himself said is a legal marriage, but the state won’t recognize [it], just adds to the stress that what goes on with our daily lives,” Kelly said.
Under the current situation, Kelly said the couple carries around a notebook of documents to ensure she can make medical and other important decisions for Corbin.
In a statement, Kildee said Anne and Kelly’s union should be recognized by both the state and federal government, criticizing Snyder and Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette for not allowing benefits to flow to the couple.
“Legally-performed marriages like Anne and Kelly’s should be fully recognized under the law, both at the state and federal level,” Kildee said. “It’s a shame to me that Gov. Snyder and Bill Schuette continue to work around the clock to deny these committed couples the same opportunity for love and happiness that they enjoy themselves.”
The situation in Michigan is along the lines of what happened in Utah after a district court ruling enabled an estimated 1,300 same-sex couples to wed in the state until the U.S. Supreme Court halted the weddings by issuing a stay pending appeal. Gov. Gary Herbert announced his state won’t recognize the weddings pending appeal, but U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder said the state would recognize for the purposes of federal benefits.
Prior to Holder’s announcement, Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin wrote a letter to the attorney general, saying there’s no need to think the Utah marriages are invalid.
The Human Rights Campaign issued an organizational statement late Thursday calling for the federal recognition of same-sex marriages performed in Michigan.
“The Department of Justice under Attorney General Eric Holder has been a remarkable leader in the fight for equal recognition of marriage for lesbian and gay couples,” the statement says. “Their decision to recognize marriages performed in Utah during the period when gay couples were granted licenses was legally sound and morally right. The Human Rights Campaign has encouraged the Department to apply the same principles to the Michigan marriages that happened recently and we have every reason to believe that they will continue being champions of the LGBT community.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
Cuba
Trans parent charged with kidnapping, allegedly fled to Cuba with child
Cuban authorities helped locate Rose Inessa-Ethington
Federal authorities have charged a transgender woman with kidnapping after she allegedly fled to Cuba with her 10-year-old child.
An affidavit that Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Jennifer Waterfield filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Utah on April 16 notes the child is a “biological male who identifies as a female” and “splits time living with divorced parents who share custody” in Cache County, Utah.
Waterfield notes the child on March 28 “was supposed to be traveling by car to” Calgary, Alberta, “for a planned camping trip with his transgender mother, Rose Inessa-Ethington, Rose’s partner, Blue Inessa-Ethington, and Blue’s 3-year-old child.”
The affidavit notes the group instead flew from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Mexico City on March 29. Waterfield writes the Inessa-Ethingtons and the two children then flew from Mérida, Mexico, to Havana on April 1.
The 10-year-old child called her biological mother on March 28 after they arrived in Canada. The custody agreement, according to the affidavit, required Rose Inessa-Ethington to return the child to her former spouse on April 3.
“Interviews of MV [Minor Victim] 1’s family members provided significant concerns for MV 1’s well-being, as MV 1 was born a male, however, identifies as a female child, which is largely believed to be due to manipulation by Rose Inessa-Ethington,” reads the affidavit. “Concerns exist that MV 1 was transported to Cuba for gender reassignment surgery prior to puberty.”
The affidavit indicates authorities found a note in the Inessa-Ethingtons’ home with “instruction from a mental health therapist located in Washington, D.C., including instruction to send the therapist the $10,000.00 and instructions on gender-affirming medical care for children.”
The affidavit does not identify the specific “mental health therapist” in D.C.
A Utah judge on April 13 ordered Rose Inessa-Ethington to “immediately” return the child to her former spouse. The former spouse also received sole custody.
“Your affiant believes that due to the extensive planning and preparation exhibited by both Rose Inessa-Ethington and Blue Inessa-Ethington to isolate MV 1 and take MV 1 to Havana, Cuba, without notifying or requesting permission from MV 1’s mother indicates they are likely not planning to return to the United States,” wrote Waterfield.
The affidavit notes Cuban authorities found the Inessa-Ethingtons and the child.
A press release the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Utah issued notes the Inessa-Ethingtons “were deported from Cuba” on Monday “with the assistance of the FBI.”
The couple has been charged with International Parental Kidnapping. The Inessa-Ethingtons were arraigned in Richmond, Va., on Monday. The press release notes a federal court in Salt Lake City will soon handle the case.
The New York Times reported the child is now back with their biological mother.
“We are grateful to law enforcement for working swiftly to return the child to the biological mother,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Melissa Holyoak of the District of Utah in the press release.
The case is unfolding against the backdrop of increased tensions between Washington and Havana after U.S. forces on Jan. 3 seized now former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores.
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. A second White House directive banned federally-funded gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.
The U.S. Supreme Court last year in the Skrmetti decision upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors.
Cuba’s national health care system has offered free sex-reassignment surgeries since 2008.
Activists who are critical of Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro who spearheads LGBTQ issues as director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education, have previously told the Washington Blade that access to these procedures is limited. The Blade on Wednesday asked a contact in Havana to clarify whether Cuban law currently allows minors to undergo sex-reassignment surgery.
Rehoboth Beach
Rehoboth Summer Kickoff Party set for May 15 with Ashley Biden
The Washington Blade’s 19th annual Summer Kickoff Party is scheduled for Friday, May 15 in Rehoboth Beach, Del.
Ashley Biden, daughter of President Joe Biden, has joined the list of speakers, the Blade announced. She will accept an award on behalf of her brother Beau Biden for his LGBTQ advocacy work as Delaware attorney general. (Her appearance was rescheduled from last year.)
The event, to be held this year at Diego’s (37298 Rehoboth Ave. Ext.) from 5-7 p.m., is a fundraiser for the Blade Foundation’s Steve Elkins Memorial Fellowship in Journalism, which funds a summer position reporting on LGBTQ news in Delaware. This year’s recipient will be introduced at the event.
The event will also feature remarks from state Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall. New CAMP Rehoboth Executive Director Dr. Robin Brennan and Blade editor Kevin Naff will also speak. The event is generously sponsored by Realtor Justin Noble, The Avenue Inn & Spa, and Diego’s.
A suggested donation of $25 is partially tax deductible and includes a drink ticket and light appetizers. Tickets are available in advance at bladefoundation.org/rehoboth or at the door.
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