a&e features
Meet Rev. Bos, first out lesbian Evangelical Lutheran bishop
‘My spirituality and sexuality are intertwined’
When the Rev. Brenda Bos was growing up as a good Christian girl in Chino in San Bernardino County, Calif., no one talked about being gay.
When after college Bos realized she is a lesbian, she was closeted about it with her family.
“After I began to see that I was lesbian, I decided my first partner would be this woman,” Bos said in a telephone interview with the Blade. “But I figured I couldn’t talk to God about it. It didn’t feel so much as a sin as that God wouldn’t want to hear about it.”
On June 5, Bos, 56, was elected to serve a six-year term as bishop of the Southwest California Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). The ELCA is a mainstream, mainline, Protestant denomination.
Bos will take office as bishop on Sept. 1. Her installation will take place on Sept. 12. She will be the first openly lesbian bishop in the ELCA.
Some people know early on – as a college student or even as a teenager – that they want to go into the ministry.
This wasn’t so with Bos.
“My family were Dutch immigrants,” Bos said, “they bought a dairy farm.”
When she was a teen, Bos was a theater geek. She did a lot of community theater and thought about going into acting.
“But people told me that acting was too frivolous,” Bos said, “they thought I’d never be successful if I tried to have a career as an actor.”
So Bos pursued what she calls an “adjacent profession” – broadcasting. She received a bachelor’s degree in broadcasting from Pepperdine University in 1986.
Bos started out in broadcasting as an intern at MTM. She was there after the glory days of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “Rhoda.” But the studio was still producing “Hill Street Blues” and other respected shows.
Bos went on to work for 18 years in production on some of the most beloved shows on TV, including “The George Lopez Show,” “Mad About You” and “The Golden Girls.”
Bos knows that Blanche, Rose, Sophia and Dorothy (and the actors who played them) on “The Golden Girls” are gods to many queer folk.
Bos was a writer’s assistant on the sixth season of the “The Golden Girls.” “Every actor was at the height of their power,” she said. “They knew who their characters were and how to emphasize the fabulous in each of them.”
The studio audience would go nuts, Bos said, “there was so much joy. It was magnificent to see what comedy could be at its height.”
While Bos engaged in her TV career, she was exploring her sexuality.
Her relationship with her first partner, a woman, lasted a year. “The pressure of being a closeted lesbian was too much,” Bos said.
She met a man and became attracted to him. “I thought I wasn’t gay,” Bos said.
Seven years later, the woman who’d been her first partner came back into her life. She and Bos were together for 12 years.
It was difficult for her family when Bos came out to them. “They worried that if they accepted me, God would judge them,” Bos said, “it took them a decade to accept that if God loves me, God loves them.”
Bos is grateful that her family did the hard work that needed to be done so that they could come to terms with her sexuality.
Though Bos was back with her first partner, she couldn’t imagine being a lesbian and being connected to the church. “I let church life lie,” she said.
But Bos had always enjoyed thinking about God. She liked to talk about God in a way that made God accessible. Bos thought she might have a gift for not being judgmental or dogmatic.
Bos volunteered at a church and the people there liked her. But it went badly when she came out to the pastor.
“They said ‘you’re gifted, but we can’t use you in leadership, there’s no place for you,’” Bos said. It was devastating to her.
Though the people at that church didn’t see that Bos had a gift for talking about God, others did.
One day, Brenda was at work on a TV show when a woman on the crew named Jenna collapsed and died. She’d been training for a marathon and had an unexpected heart defect.
Many people asked Bos — though she wasn’t a minister — to conduct the memorial service for Jenna.
Somehow, she knew she was the right person for that job at that moment. “I talked about how much God loved Jenna, and how she was in heaven,” Bos said, “people talked about their own faith as well as Jenna’s.”
People told Bos that she was in the wrong line of work and that she should be a pastor.
“I’m an atheist,” someone at the service said to Bos, “but this was such a sacred thing.”
Bos started to feel that being in TV production was too much of a rat race – that she wanted to try to enter the ministry.
In 2007, she was rejected by a seminary because she came out in her application.
After that rejection, “in a drunken stupor – my partner was out of town,” Bos said, “I Googled churches that were LGBTQ-welcoming.”
She saw that the ELCA was listed as a welcoming denomination.
Bos was accepted by the Claremont School of Theology in 2009. In that same year, the ELCA began ordaining openly LGBTQ pastors.
She earned a master’s of divinity degree from Claremont in 2011. In 2013, Bos received a Certificate of Advanced Theological Studies from Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary.
While in seminary, Bos was a bridge pastor to a congregation at Faith Lutheran Church in Canoga Park, Calif., and a student pastor at a church in Danville, Calif. She was the first of eight vicars (interns) at St. Paul’s in Santa Monica, Calif.
From 2014-2019, Bos was pastor of Christ Lutheran Church in San Clemente, Calif. She was ordained in 2014 at her home congregation, St. Matthew’s Lutheran Church in North Hollywood, a LGBTQ welcoming church.
Since 2019, Bos has served as the assistant to the bishop for rostered leadership in the Southwest California Synod. In this position, she’s been providing support to clergy who are on leave, become disabled or in spiritual crisis.
Bos lives with her wife Janis, a licensed clinical social worker. They have an adult son and two dogs named Santos and Knight.
“My spirituality and sexuality are intertwined,” Bos said, “it’s what makes me the whole person that I am.”
She doesn’t believe that God has any gender. “I can understand how back in the day, we assigned God the pronoun ‘he’,” Bos said.
But, as our understanding of what it means to be non-binary grows, Bos said, our imagination about God expands. “It might make some uncomfortable,” she said, “but to me it makes sense to think of God as ‘they.’”
God has a sense of humor, Bos said. After all, “God’s best ideas are laughter, sex, and food,” she added.
a&e features
Looking back at the 10 biggest A&E stories of 2025
‘Wicked,’ Lady Gaga’s new era, ‘Sexy’ Bailey and more
Although 2025 was a year marked by countless attacks on trans rights and political setbacks, the year also saw brilliant queer artists continuing to create art. From Cannes and Sundance Award winners now vying for Oscar consideration to pop icons entering new stages of their careers, queer people persevered to tell their stories through different media.
With the state of the world so uncertain, perhaps there’s no more vital time to celebrate our wins, as seen through some of this year’s top pop culture moments. While there’s no collection of 10 stories that fully encompass “the most important” news, here are some events that got the gays going:
10. ‘Mysterious Gaze of the Flamingo’ wins big at Cannes
The Cannes Film Festival has become a crucial start for films hoping to make their way to the Oscars, and first-time director Diego Céspedes won the top Un Certain Regard prize for his intimate western “The Mysterious Gaze of the Flamingo.” The film is set in the ‘80s and is intended as an allegory for the AIDS epidemic. Seeing a film that unpacks vital queer history win one of the most coveted awards at Cannes has been a huge point of pride in the independent filmmaking community.
Since the film bowed at Cannes, it has been selected as Chile’s Oscar entry in the Best International Feature race. Speaking with The Blade during the film’s AFI Fest run in October, Céspedes said: At first, I was kind of scared to have this campaign position in the times that we’re living [in] here. But at the same time, I think the Oscars mean a huge platform — a huge platform for art and politics.”
9. ‘The Last of Us’ returns for an even gayer season 2
While the first season of The Last of Us gave us one of TV’s most heartbreaking queer love stories in the episode “Long, Long Time,” Season 2 doubled down on its commitment to queer storytelling with the blossoming relationship between Ellie (Bella Ramsey) and Dina (Isabela Merced). The show expanded on the pair’s relationship in the original video game, making it perhaps the central dynamic to the entire season. That unfortunately came with more homophobic backlash on the internet, but those who checked out all the episodes saw a tender relationship form amid the show’s post-apocalyptic, often violent backdrop. For their performance, Ramsey was once again nominated for an Emmy, but Merced deserved just as much awards attention.
8. ‘Emilia Pérez’ sparks controversy
Jacques Audiard’s genre-bending trans musical “Emilia Pérez” proved to be an awards season juggernaut this time last year, winning the Golden Globe for Best Musical/Comedy. But when the lead star Karla Sofia Gascón’s racist, sexist, and homophobic old tweets resurfaced, the film’s Oscar campaign became a tough sell, especially after Netflix had tried so hard to sell Emilia Pérez as the “progressive” film to vote for. Mind you, the film had already received significant backlash from LGBTQ+ audiences and the Mexican community for its stereotypical and reductive portrayals, but the Gascón controversy made what was originally just social media backlash impossible to ignore. The only person who seemed to come out of the whole debacle unscathed was Zoe Saldaña, who won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress over Ariana Grande.
7. ‘Sorry, Baby’ establishes Eva Victor as major talent
Back in January at the Sundance Film Festival, Eva Victor (known by many for her brand of sketch comedy) premiered their directorial debut “Sorry, Baby” to rave reviews, even winning the Waldo Salt Screening Award. Victor shadowed Jane Schoenbrun on the set of “I Saw the TV Glow,” and seeing Victor come into their own and establish such a strong voice immediately made them one of independent cinema’s most exciting new voices. A memorable scene in the film sees the main character, Agnes (played by Victor), struggling to check a box for male or female, just one example of how naturally queerness is woven into the fabric of the story.
Most recently, Victor was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance in the film, and she’s represented in a category alongside Jennifer Lawrence (“Die My Love”), Jessie Buckley (“Hamnet”), Julia Roberts (“After the Hunt”), Renate Reinsve (“Sentimental Value”) and Tessa Thompson (“Hedda”). The film also received four Independent Spirit Award nominations overall.
6. Paul Reubens comes out in posthumous doc
While Paul Reubens never publicly came out as gay before passing away in 2023, the two-part documentary “Pee-wee as Himself” premiered back in May on HBO Max, giving the legendary comedian a chance to posthumously open up to the world. Directed by Matt Wolf, the documentary explores how Reubens found his alter ego Pee-Wee Herman and why he kept his private life private.
The documentary won an Emmy in the Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Special category and remains one of the most critically acclaimed titles of the year with a 100% Rotten Tomatoes score. Also worth noting, the National Geographic documentary Sally told the posthumous coming out story of Sally Ride through the help of her long-time partner, Tam O’Shaughnessy.
5. Lady Gaga releases ‘Mayhem’
Lady Gaga entered a new phase of her musical career with the release of Mayhem, her seventh album to date. From the frenzy-inducing pop hit Abracadabra to the memorable Bruno Mars duet featured on “Die With a Smile,” seeing Gaga return to her roots and make an album for the most die-hard of fans was especially rewarding after the underwhelming film releases of “House of Gucci” and “Joker: Folie à Deux.” Gaga has been touring with The Mayhem Ball since July, her first arena tour since 2018. She even extended her tour into 2026 with more North American dates, so the party isn’t stopping anytime soon. And Gaga is even set to make an appearance next May in “The Devil Wears Prada 2.”
4. Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande perform at the Oscars
While “Wicked: For Good” didn’t quite reach the heights of the first film, we will forever have Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande’s breathtaking live performance that opened the 97th Academy Awards. The pair sang a rendition of “Over the Rainbow,” “Home,” and “Defying Gravity,” paying proper homage to the original 1939 “Wizard of Oz.” Even non-Wicked fans can’t deny how magical and brilliantly staged this performance was. With both Erivo and Grande up for acting Oscars last year, they’re hoping to repeat success and make history with consecutive nominations. Either way, let’s hope there’s another live performance in the making, especially with two new original songs (The Girl in the Bubble and No Place Like Home) in the mix.
3. Indya Moore speaks out against Ryan Murphy
Indya Moore has consistently used social media as a platform for activism, and in September, posted a 30-minute Instagram live speaking out against “Pose” co-creator Ryan Murphy. Moore claimed that Murphy wasn’t being a true activist for trans people. “Ryan Murphy, we need you to do more. You need to address the racism, the violence, and the targeting of people on your productions, Ryan Murphy. You do need to make sure trans people are paid equally. Yes, Janet did the right thing,” Moore said. Murphy was also back in the headlines this year for the critically panned “All’s Fair” and the controversial “Monster: The Ed Gein Story” starring Laurie Metcalf and Charlie Hunnam.
2. Cole Escola wins Tony for Best Leading Actor
Few pop culture moments this year brought us together more than Cole Escola winning a Tony award for “Oh, Mary!” the Broadway show they created, wrote and starred in (we love a triple threat!) Escola made history by becoming the first nonbinary person to win a Tony in the leading actor category, and seeing them excitedly rush to the stage wearing a Bernadette Peters-inspired gown instantly became a viral social media moment.
The cherry on top of Escola’s major moment is the recent news that they are writing a Miss Piggy movie with Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone producing — news that also broke the internet for the better. We cannot wait!
1. Jonathan Bailey makes gay history as ‘Sexiest Man Alive’
The same year as his on-screen roles in blockbusters “Jurassic World Rebirth” and “Wicked: For Good,” Jonathan Bailey made history as the first openly gay man to be named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” The fact that it took 40 years for an openly gay man to earn the title is a signifier of how far we still have to go with queer representation, and seeing Bailey celebrated is just one small step in the right direction.
“There’s so many people that want to do brilliant stuff who feel like they can’t,” he told PEOPLE, “and I know the LGBT sector is under immense threat at the moment. So it’s been amazing to meet people who have the expertise and see potential that I could have only dreamed of.” In 2024, Bailey founded the charity titled The Shameless Fund, which raises money for LGBTQ+ organizations.
a&e features
Your guide to D.C.’s queer New Year’s Eve parties
Ring in 2026 with drag, leather, Champagne, and more
With Christmas in the rear view mirror, we can turn our attention to ringing in a much-anticipated New Year with a slew of local LGBTQ parties. Here’s what’s on tap.
Pitchers
This spacious Adams Morgan bar is hosting the “Pitchers’ Perfect New Year’s Eve.” There will be a midnight Champagne toast, the ball drop on the big screens, and no cover, all night long. The bar doesn’t close until 4 a.m., and the kitchen will be open late (though not until close). All five floors will be open for the party, and party favors are promised.
Trade
D.C.’s hottest bar/club combo is leaning into the Shark motif with its NYE party, “Feeding Frenzy.” The party is a “glitterati-infused Naughty-cal New Year’s Even in the Shark Tank, where the boats are churning and the sharks are circling.” Trade also boasts no cover charge, with doors opening at 5 p.m. and the aforementioned Shark Tank opening at 9 p.m.. Four DJs will be spread across the two spaces; midnight hostess is played by Vagenesis and the two sea sirens sensuously calling are Anathema and Justin Williams.
Number Nine
While Trade will have two DJs as part of one party, Number Nine will host two separate parties, one on each floor. The first floor is classic Number Nine, a more casual-style event with the countdown on TVs and a Champagne midnight toast. There will be no cover and doors open at 5 p.m. Upstairs will be hosted by Capital Sapphics for its second annual NYE gathering. Tickets (about $50) include a midnight Champagne toast, curated drink menu, sapphic DJ set by Rijak, and tarot readings by Yooji.
Crush
Crush will kick off NYE with a free drag bingo at 8 p.m. for the early birds. Post-bingo, there will be a cover for the rest of the evening, featuring two DJs. The cover ($20 limited pre-sale that includes line skip until 11 p.m.; $25 at the door after 9 p.m.) includes one free N/A or Crush, a Champagne toast, and party favors (“the legal kind”). More details on Eventbrite.
Bunker
This subterranean lair is hosting a NYE party entitled “Frosted & Fur: Aspen After Dark New Year’s Eve Celebration.” Arriety from Rupaul Season 15 is set to host, with International DJ Alex Lo. Doors open at 9 p.m. and close at 3 p.m.; there is a midnight Champagne toast. Cover is $25, plus an optional $99 all-you-can-drink package.
District Eagle
This leather-focused bar is hosting “Bulge” for its NYE party. Each District Eagle floor will have its own music and vibe. Doors run from 7 p.m.-3 a.m. and cover is $15. There will be a Champagne toast at midnight, as well as drink specials during the event.
Kiki, Shakiki
Kiki and its new sister bar program Shakiki (in the old Shakers space) will have the same type of party on New Year’s Eve. Both bars open their doors at 5 p.m. and stay open until closing time. Both will offer a Champagne toast at midnight. At Kiki, DJ Vodkatrina will play; at Shakiki, it’ll be DJ Alex Love. Kiki keeps the party going on New Year’s Day, opening at 2 p.m., to celebrate Kiki’s fourth anniversary. There will be a drag show at 6 p.m. and an early 2000s dance party 4-8 p.m.
Spark
This bar and its new menu of alcoholic and twin N/A drinks will host a NYE party with music by DJ Emerald Fox. Given this menu, there will be a complimentary toast at midnight, guests can choose either sparkling wine with or without alcohol. No cover, but Spark is also offering optional wristbands at the door for $35 open bar 11 p.m.-1 a.m. (mid-shelf liquor & all NA drinks).
a&e features
Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)
A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)
To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)
To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)
To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)
To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)
To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)
To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)
For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
