District of Columbia
Recovery at the Triangle Club
Coming together as a group to fight a common addiction
On Sunday, between the Dupont Italian Kitchen, where the tables are filled with the boozy brunches of the kickball gays, and Mikko, where a young couple is celebrating their anniversary with some Champagne, the door to a row-house opens, and all at once, a crowd pours forth onto the stairs. Only the stairs keep on filling. These folks aren’t leaving. They’ve only left the building to come to the stairs, just to chat. It’s as though 100 people all decided to go for a smoke out front, all at the same time. But if you ask them why they’re there, you’ll get only the vaguest of answers. “We’re just coming from a meeting,” one will say. “It’s a clubhouse,” says another.
There are good reasons for this vagueness. The Triangle Club is a center for queer folk to attend recovery meetings: Overeaters Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Crystal Meth Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. It’s part of the very mission of these groups to protect the privacy of their members. But these groups also want those in the queer community who need the support to know that they’re there. And so the folks at the Triangle Club were kind enough to welcome the Blade into their space for a few meetings, to see how things worked and shed some light on what they’re all about.
The Club had its kickoff meeting in 1988, during the AIDS crisis. Churches weren’t particularly enthusiastic about hosting gay recovery meetings in their back rooms. And so the Club sought to provide a safe place for those meetings to take place. At the time of the club’s founding, it was estimated that gays and lesbians were twice as likely to report problems with alcohol abuse than heterosexuals. One would hope that things might have changed in the intervening years. But according to a government report released this summer, that figure has barely improved. (The government report did not collect any statistics on transgender people.)
Of course there is no single reason queer people develop problems with drugs and alcohol. But one in particular struck me, especially as a reason I heard coming from a lot of the younger folk at the Triangle Club. “I thought meth was a prerequisite for going out,” said one. “I thought that’s what you did.” Another said, “I drank to find community. And then I drank to numb myself when I didn’t find it in the gay community.” Again and again, I heard stories about turning to drugs and alcohol as a way of finding connection, and as a way of coping with the failure to find connection.
And so while I heard a lot of gratitude for the role the meetings at the Triangle Club played in people’s recovery, I also heard a lot of gratitude for the community of the Triangle Club itself. It wasn’t just that the Club helped people turn away from an unhealthy way of solving their problems. It’s that it gave them what they were really looking for in the first place: a community they could call their own.
Improbably, as I left a meeting of Crystal Meth Anonymous, I found myself wishing to be an addict in recovery. To have a place to share things that would go unsaid among friends and family, let alone therapists. To take part, week after week, in one another’s mission for a more fulfilling life. To be present for the absolute raucousness, as when one gentleman described living on meth as “wearing a fur coat into a swimming pool,” and then “turning the wave-machine on.” To hear the applause that only someone four days sober could receive. But what kind of destructive, life-threatening wish was I making? I couldn’t possibly be serious.
Many of us in the queer community are exhausted by drinking, if not drugging, our way into it. That exhaustion might not rise to the level of addiction, but this has the perverse consequence of not driving us to seek alternative forms of belonging. One of the men I interviewed kept talking of the “sober community,” and my ears perked up. Perhaps there was a broader community of folks, of which those in recovery were only a part, that wasn’t centered around substance use.
“The sober community absolutely extends beyond the Triangle Club,” he told me. “There are a bunch of other gay meetings that go on.” This wasn’t exactly what I hoped to hear. What a sorry state we’re in, I couldn’t help but feel that to be part of the sober community was to be in recovery. As though the community of substance use were so mandatory that it had to drive you to your own personal edge in order for you to find community in sobriety.
The Triangle Club should not be overly romanticized, and they’d be the first to tell you. People talked of trying to find fellowship at the club in the past, and not necessarily succeeding. Being one of two Black people in the room, only for the other to drop out of the program. Or of the demands of service, dragging yourself out late Friday night to chair a meeting, or sponsoring someone for the first time and being scared that you aren’t the right one to advise them. But I think it’s a testament to the space that these things could be said in the space. The meetings aren’t a place of mandatory optimism, but honest experience. And what good is a meeting for sharing honest experience if you can’t share your negative experiences too?
I had hoped, as part of this feature, to attend a meeting of Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. The two meetings I appealed to were kind enough to hold a vote on whether they would open their doors—but in the end they opted to remain private. One gentleman from the meetings volunteered to share a little of what these meetings were all about. Recovery meetings in general depend on coming together as a group to fight a common addiction. But “S” meetings, as the gentleman described them, can’t take “coming together” lightly, nor a “common addiction” lightly.
To begin with, sexual addiction is not as straightforwardly defined as addiction to drugs or alcohol. What sobriety is for one person is not what sobriety is for another. One person might be trying to curtail a masturbation habit. But for others? “That simply isn’t an option,” the gentleman said. And unlike recovery meetings for substances, which can ban substances from the room, the same can’t as easily be said for “S” meetings. We’re sexual beings, and so inevitably, to bring yourself into a room is to bring sexuality along with it. The recovery meetings at the Triangle Club usually end with the group joining hands to say the serenity prayer. But this can’t be a given at “S” meetings, where joining hands might be violating someone’s boundary.
With the pandemic waning, most recovery meetings have slowly started to transition away from video format back to in-person. But “S” meetings have been more reluctant to do so, and most have stuck with a hybrid format. One veteran of Al-Anon voiced his relief at coming back to the rooms. “You can’t hug a square!” I suspect that’s the very reason “S” meetings have been slow to return.
Part of my disappointment in not attending the “S” meetings was how central they seemed to be to a queer recovery organization. Substance abuse might disproportionately affect the queer community, but it is the addicts who are queer, not the addictions. If the addiction is to love or sex, however, the addiction itself is inextricably queer. Aren’t the “S” meetings the heart, in a sense, of the Triangle Club? But a conversation with a gentleman from Alcoholics Anonymous had me rethinking this. “[Accepting you’re an alcoholic,] it’s similar to coming out as gay,” he said. “There are people out there who view it as a moral failing, but it’s just part of who I am.”
The experience of coming out is so central to being queer. How could coming out as an addict have nothing whatsoever to do with it? The same story of a newfound, authentic life was as common to the folks at the Triangle Club as it would be to anyone who comes out as queer.
(CJ Higgins is a postdoctoral fellow with the Alexander Grass Humanities Institute at Johns Hopkins University.)
District of Columbia
D.C. bill to study trans deaths faces opposition from LGBTQ advocates
Measure calls for creating Medical Examiner committee to identify trends
In a little-noticed development, D.C. Council member Brooke Pinto (D-Ward 2) introduced a bill in September 2023 calling for creating a special committee within the D.C. Office of the Chief Medical Examiner to determine and study trends related to the cause of death of transgender and “gender diverse” people in the District of Columbia.
The bill is called the Transgender and Gender Diverse Mortality and Fatality Review Committee Establishment Act. Among other things, it mandates that the medical examiner’s office through the newly created committee “identify and characterize the scope and nature of transgender and gender-diverse mortalities and fatalities, to describe and record any trends, data, or patterns that are observed surrounding transgender and gender-diverse mortalities and fatalities.”
In a development that some observers say caught Pinto off guard, officials with two prominent D.C. LGBTQ supportive organizations – the Whitman Walker Institute and the LGBTQ youth advocacy group SMYAL – expressed strong opposition to the bill in testimony submitted in April as a follow-up to a Council hearing on the bill conducted by Pinto on March 21.
Among other things, the officials – Benjamin Brooks, Whitman-Walker Institute’s Associate Director of Policy and Education; and Erin Whelan, SMYAL’s executive director, said the committee to be created by the bill to identify trans people who die would be an invasion of their and their families’ privacy. The two said the funds needed to pay for identifying whether someone who dies is transgender should be used instead for other endeavors, including supporting trans people in need, and protecting their rights.
The hearing record for the Council’s Committee on the Judiciary and Public Safety, which Pinto chairs and which conducted the hearing, shows that Brooks and Whelan were among four witnesses that testified against the bill. Six witnesses, including officials with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and Medical Society of the District of Columbia, testified in support of the bill.
Also testifying in support of the bill with suggested revisions was Vincent Slatt, who serves as chair of the D.C. Advisory Neighborhood Commission Rainbow Caucus.
Jenna Beebe-Aryee, Supervisory Fatality Review Program Manager for the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, testified that the bill would be “remarkably challenging” for that office and its partnering city agencies to carry out, including what she said would be a difficult process of identifying whether someone who has died is transgender or gender diverse. But she did not state that her office and the Office of the Mayor outright oppose the bill.
The bill has remained in Pinto’s committee since the time of the hearing, with no indication from Pinto of what her plans are for going forward with the bill, including whether she plans to make revisions and if or when she may plan to bring the bill to the full Council for a vote.
Victoria Casarrubias, Pinto’s communications director, told the Blade last week that Pinto’s office had no immediate comment on Pinto’s plans for the bill.
The 17-page bill, according to its introductory summary page, would also “create a strategic framework for improving transgender and gender-diverse health outcomes for racial and ethnic minorities in the District,” and to “recommend training to improve the identification, investigation, and prevention of transgender and gender-diverse fatalities, and to make publicly available an annual report of its findings, recommendations, and steps taken to evaluate implementation of past recommendations.”
The bill authorizes the D.C. mayor to appoint the members of the newly created medical examiner’s committee and requires that members include representatives of six D.C. government agencies, including the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner; the departments of Health; Behavioral Health; Health Care Finance; Human Services; and the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs.
It calls on the Office of LGBTQ Affairs to provide support to other city agencies in developing procedures for identifying transgender people who the agencies have provided services for and who have died.
It also requires the mayor to name as committee members representatives of organizations providing health care and services for the transgender community as well as a social worker specializing in transgender related issues and a college or university representative “conducting research in transgender and gender-diverse mortality trends or fatality prevention.”
Seven other members of the 13-member D.C. Council signed on as co-introducers of the bill. They include Council members Robert White (D-At-Large), Anita Bonds (D-At-Large), Christina Henderson (I-At Large), Matthew Frumin (D-Ward 3), Janese Lewis George (D-Ward 4), Charles Allen (D-Ward 6), and Vincent Gray (D-Ward 7).
Spokespersons for Gray and Bonds told the Blade the two Council members continue to support the bill and would consider any revisions that those who have expressed concern about the bill might suggest.
“The establishment of this committee will continue the District’s leading role in LGBTQIA+ advocacy and legislation,” Pinto states in a letter accompanying her introduction of the bill. “The Committee will be the first entity of its kind in the United States,” according to her letter.
Pinto cites in her letter studies and national data showing that deaths of trans people are disproportionately higher due to a variety of causes, including illness compared to cisgender people in the United States. “Trans women in particular are disproportionately vulnerable to the aforementioned risks, as well as to violence and murder, with one in four trans women likely to be victimized by a hate-related crime,” Pinto said in her letter.
“Although data are limited, some studies suggest that transgender people are ‘twice as likely to die as cisgender people’ due to ‘heart disease, lung cancer, HIV-related illness and suicide,’ with trans women being ‘two times as likely to die compared to cis men and ‘three times as likely’ compared to cis women,” Pinto states in her letter.
In their testimony against the bill, Brooks of Whitman Walker and Whalen of SMYAL said the problems they believe the bill will bring about outweigh the benefits that Pinto says it will provide for the trans community.
“It is improper for the District government to be investigating and determining someone’s gender identity,” Brooks said in his testimony. “This would require District agencies to coordinate investigations into deeply personal characteristics of many people,” he said. “This invasion of privacy is a poor use of the government’s time and energy.”
Brooks stated that the city has existing policies and requirements designed to find ways to improve the lives of transgender and gender diverse residents. He pointed to the LGBTQ Health Data Collection Amendment Act of 2018, which requires the Department of Health to produce a comprehensive report on the health and health disparities faced by the D.C. LGBTQ community. According to Brooks, the Department of Health has not released such a report since 2017.
“We strongly recommend that rather than proposing to spend precious time and scarce resources on a novel and invasive committee, the District should put those resources towards fulfilling existing data collection and reporting obligations,” Brooks states in his testimony.
Whelan of SMYAL expressed similar concerns in her testimony. “Transgender and Gender-Diverse (TGD) people do not need yet another violation of their privacy and exposure to more questions and interrogation for them to provide the reasons for the incredible amount of violence and loss the transgender and gender-diverse community faces,” Whelen says in her testimony.
“What we do need are solutions on how to address the underlying causes of anti-transgender violence, in addition to the barriers that prevent transgender and gender-diverse communities from accessing and maintaining safe and stable housing, and accessing affirming mental health resources,” Whelan adds in her testimony. “What we as a community need is diligent action in a positive direction to actually address the lack of resources, services, and violence towards this community.”
Supporters of the bill might point out that it includes strongly worded language calling for keeping personal information about transgender and gender-diverse people who die confidential and calls for criminal penalties for anyone who violates the confidentiality provision by disclosing the information, including whether a deceased person identified as transgender.
Brooks said strong grounds exist for not enacting the bill despite its privacy provision.
“The collection of sensitive information, particularly for decedents who cannot advocate for their own right to privacy, always raises the potential for inappropriate disclosure regardless of potential penalties,” he said. “The threat of criminal prosecution can be a deterrent to the intentional inappropriate sharing of private information; however, it may not stop accidental or inadvertent disclosure,” he said.
Slatt’s testimony calls for six specific suggested revisions in the bill pertaining to ways the newly created medical examiner committee would obtain information about trans people who die, including the suggestion that the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs become involved in identifying trans people who pass away and be given one or more additional staff members to help support its increased responsibilities under the legislation.
“Members of the ANC Rainbow Caucus have discussed this proposed bill and find that it is a remarkable and historic step towards addressing trans and gender-diverse mortalities and fatalities,” Slatt says in his testimony.
“At a time when trans and gender-diverse people are under attack by municipalities across the nation, the District of Columbia is setting an example on how to create not just a culture of inclusion, but also a culture of belonging for trans residents,” he stated.
District of Columbia
Billy Porter, Keke Palmer, Ava Max to perform at Capital Pride
Concert to be held at annual festival on June 9
The Capital Pride Alliance, the group that organizes D.C.’s annual LGBTQ Pride events, announced this week the lineup of performers for the Sunday, June 9, Capital Pride Concert to be held during the Capital Pride Festival on Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. near the U.S. Capitol.
Among the performers will be nationally acclaimed singers and recording artists Billy Porter and Keke Palmer, who will also serve as grand marshals for the Capital Pride Parade set to take place one day earlier on Saturday, June 8.
The Capital Price announcement says the other lead performers will be Ava Max, Sapphira Cristal, and the pop female trio Exposé.
“The beloved pop icons will captivate audiences with upbeat performances coupled with their fierce advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights, echoing the vibrant spirit of this year’s theme, ‘Totally Radical,’” according to a statement released by Capital Pride Alliance.
“With Billy Porter and Keke Palmer leading the parade as Grand Marshals, we’re not only honoring their incredible contributions to the LGBTQ+ community but also amplifying their voices as fierce advocates for equality and acceptance,” Capital Pride Alliance Executive Director Ryan Bos said in the statement.
“The concert and festival serve as a platform to showcase the diverse array of LGBTQ+ talent, from the chart-topping hits of Ava Max to the iconic sounds of Exposé and the electrifying performances of Sapphira Cristal,” Bos said in the statement. “Capital Pride 2024 promises to be a celebration like no other.”
The concert will take place from 12-10 p.m. on the main stage and other stages across the four-block long festival site on Pennsylvania Avenue.
District of Columbia
200 turn out for ’Love Fest’ Drag Story Hour at Freddie’s
Performer reads stories to kids and parents as three protest outside
Between 200 and 250 people, including parents and their children, turned out on Saturday, May 4, for a “Love Fest” Drag Story Hour brunch hosted by the Arlington, Va., LGBTQ establishment Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant.
Local drag performer Tara Hoot, who read children’s stories and handed out coloring books to the kids attending the event, was joined by members of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, which sang several songs before Hoot began reading from children’s books in keeping with the tradition of drag queens conducting Drag Story Hour events across the country.
The May 4 event at Freddie’s in the Crystal City section of Arlington took place four weeks after the start of a similar event hosted by Freddie’s was delayed by a bomb threat, forcing those who had arrived to exit through a rear door and wait in a parking lot as Arlington police conducted a search of the premises with a bomb sniffing dog. No trace of a bomb was found.
All the customers, including parents and their kids, were invited back inside and the show took place as planned.
No similar threat occurred at the May 4 event. But three male protesters assembled on the sidewalk next to the parking lot behind the Freddie’s building, with one of them shouting from a bullhorn passages from his Bible that he said indicated the Drag Story Hour event was an “abomination.”
The three protesters were outnumbered by nearly a dozen counter protesters who were members of the Rainbow Defense Coalition, an LGBTQ organization. They carried bright, rainbow-colored umbrellas while chanting messages of support for the Drag Story Hour event.
Freddie Lutz, Freddie’s Beach Bar owner, called the event a “smashing success” that brought an “outpouring of love from the community.” Lutz released a flier on social media promoting the Love Fest event shortly after the earlier event interrupted by the bomb threat as a showing of love “to stop the hate.”
“Join us for the next story time brunch dressed in your favorite rainbow/hippie outfit” and “carry your favorite homemade signs of support,” Lutz said in his promotional flier. He came to the event dressed in what he called his hippie protest outfit.
Lutz said while the protesters did not interrupt the event, he was concerned that their shouting was scaring some of the kids as they and their parents walked by the protesters to enter Freddie’s.
“I went out back and tried to talk to one of them and it was kind of like talking to a brick wall,” Lutz told the Washington Blade. “He was screaming at the parents that were crossing their kids on the crosswalk,” Lutz said. “And I said, you’re screaming at those kids, you’re scaring them.”
Lutz said the man told him he was yelling at the parents, not the kids. “And I said, no you’re not. The kids are hearing you. You’re scaring them.”
Added Lutz, “And to have such a fun-loving, happy show and then walk out on the sidewalk to that is very disheartening. It’s really sad. I told him my God is a forgiving and loving God.”
One of the protesters, who declined to disclose his name, said he and his two fellow protesters came to talk about the gospel of Jesus Christ.
“We want them to know this is an abomination to the Lord,” he told the Blade. “We want them to know those children don’t have a voice and they’re being brainwashed in there. We’re here to call out their sin.”
Stephanie Krenrich, who brought her two-year-old daughter to the event, said she strongly disputes the claims of the protesters.
“I brought my daughter here because I think that it was a beautiful and wonderful show, and it was great for her,” she said. “And I think it’s pretty offensive when people come to Arlington and tell parents what to do, especially for something so beautiful and so fun and so wholesome,” she told the Blade.
“So that’s why I brought her,” Krenrich said. “I think that it’s really important that we stand up for our values and people just being themselves, being happy and being them.”
Among those who attended the event were four elected officials from Arlington – Virginia State Sen. Barbara Favola, Virginia State Del. Adele McClure, Arlington County Board member Maureen Coffee, and Arlington and Falls Church State’s Attorney Parisa Dehgani-Tafti.
Also attending was Nick Benton, editor and publisher of the LGBTQ supportive Falls Church, Va., News Press; and Kellen McBeth, president of the LGBTQ group Equality Arlington.
“It was fantastic to see so many people come out to support Freddie’s, to support the LGBTQ+ community,” McBeth said. “It was a great event and we’re happy to be a part of it.”
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