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Service members torn over coming out

In wake of repeal, some ready to talk, others staying in closet

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For one gay Air Force pilot, it remains business as usual as he keeps his sexual orientation a secret despite passage of legislation allowing for repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

The Charleston, S.C., resident, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said he considers himself a private individual and sees no need to make public to his Air Force comrades his gay identity.

“It’s just not my style,” he said. “So, no, I’m probably not going to say anything. If somebody asks me, I might say, ‘Well, if you’re asking the question, then you probably already know the answer to it, so I’ll leave it at that.'”

The pilot said he sees no need to take a date to squadron picnic as straight airmen might bring their spouses.

“As far I can tell, nobody suspects that I’m gay at work, other than I’m single,” the pilot said. “We’re a bunch a pilots, so sometimes it’s not easy for relationships, so a lot of guys that are even older than I am have never been married, so it’s not uncommon. I don’t stand out being in my early 30s and single.”

The pilot’s decision to keep his sexual orientation a secret represents one option for gay service members now that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is on its way out the door.

On Dec. 22, President Obama signed into law legislation allowing for repeal of the military’s gay ban, bringing to a close a long struggle to repeal the 17-year-old law.

Following the signing of the legislation, some service members say they intend to make no changes in how they interact with their military colleagues, others plan to make their sexual orientation public, while others say they’re already out to others in their unit.

Alex Nicholson, executive director of Servicemembers United, said he thinks the service members will respond to the lifting of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the variety of ways that civilian gays and lesbians handle their sexual orientation.

“I largely think it’ll reflect civilian society,” Nicholson said. “Some people will make that personal judgment to not come out, some people will decide to come out for the first time.”

But for the most part, Nicholson said he thinks the end of the military’s gay ban will “in all likelihood be a boring event” that won’t change things for gay service members.

“Some people are already out, and that will continue,” Nicholson said. “Others are not out, and it’s not necessarily because of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ that they’re not out because of personal choice or environmental judgments.”

Nicholson predicted that a “small minority” of gay service members will come out to make a statement about their sexual orientation.

“In the rest of the gay community, you see some people who subscribe to the philosophy it’s important to be out to get people more accustomed with gays and lesbians,” Nicholson said. “And I think you’ll see that reflected in a certain group of the military as well.”

One Navy corpsman who spoke to the Blade said he expects no changes after “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal because he’s already out to the majority of his colleagues in his unit.

“I’ve also never straight-up told people, but a lot of people have met people that I’ve dated or people have come out to a bar with me or just with my friends,” he said.

The corpsman, a D.C. resident, said he hasn’t been discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” even though he’s out to many of his colleagues because “it was never an issue.”

“You’re carrying yourself in a certain way wearing the uniform and whatever you do outside of work has nothing to do with your job performance,” he said. “I feel like I performed to where anything I did in my off time shouldn’t bother anybody.”

Meanwhile, in Southern Maryland, a Marine Corps sergeant who’s not out to his unit said he intends to make his sexual orientation public after repeal has been in effect for a while.

“In the military life, I don’t see right now as the time to jump out of the closet until after everything goes through and they do all the sensitivity training,” he said. “Probably within a couple years, I’ll probably slowly start just coming out.”

But delaying his coming out process doesn’t mean the sergeant is indifferent to passage of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal legislation. When Obama signed repeal, he said his reaction was to “have a couple bottles of Champagne.”

“I was ecstatic about it,” he said. “It came a lot faster than I thought it was going to come because I didn’t see it coming before Congress let out.”

The sergeant said he wants to wait before making any declarations about his sexual orientation because he wants senior military leadership that may be uncomfortable with gays to retire first.

“I want to see a lot of more them retire and get out of the picture and a lot more of my peers and my generation move up into their spots,” the sergeant said. “The others from my age range, from what I see, are a lot more accepting of it.”

The sergeant said younger Marines went to school “with five, six, seven, 10 people in their graduating class who were openly gay” — an experience not shared by senior leadership.

Among the strongest opponents of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal prior to Obama’s signing of the legislation was Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James Amos, who said an end to the military’s gay ban could be a distraction that could “cost Marines’ lives.”

Still, after the law was signed, the commandant issued guidance stating that the Marine Corps will lead the way in implementing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

The sergeant said he doesn’t share Amos’ earlier concerns that open service in the military would be a problem and predicted that Marines would still be able to work as a team.

“That person still wants to survive just as much as I want to survive and go home to mom’s home cooking with apple pie,” he said.

As others make plans to come out at a future time, some service members who were previously closeted are reportedly already making headway in the coming out process in the short time since Obama signed repeal.

The co-director of OutServe, a global network of LGBT service members, who goes by the alias J.D. Smith to avoid being outed under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” said he’s already seeing an “interesting trend” of gay service members starting to come out to their families and others with whom they’re close.

“I think the process is people are coming out to people in their units,” Smith said. “People are coming out to their close friends that they trust because they know that it’s about to happen, so I think the coming out process in general has begun even with the law still in effect.”

Smith said he knows gay service members who for the first time brought home their significant others over the holidays to introduce them to their families as a result of Obama signing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

Even though the president has signed the legislation, repeal has yet to take effect and gay service members could still be ousted under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” for some time.

Open service will only happen after the president, the defense secretary and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff certify that that U.S. military is ready for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

The law provides no timeline for when this certification must take place, but Obama said in a recent interview that he foresees it happening in the course of “months, not years.”

Defense Secretary Robert Gates has said he wants to implement training for service members before going forward with allowing gays to serve openly in the military. Gates hasn’t given a specific timeline for how long the process would take, but has told reporters he wants to move in a “matter of weeks” through the early stages of the process.

Further, after certification takes place, a 60-day waiting period for congressional review must pass before gays can serve openly in the military without fear of discharge.

Although an implementation date remains uncertain, gay service members are expressing confidence that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will soon be off the books.

The naval corpsman said he’s confident that repeal of the military’s gay ban will become final, but said he still anticipates that the end may take between six months and a year.

“You can’t expect for something like night to day,” he said. “It’s going to take a little bit of time for all these things to go through and for people to be accepting of it.”

The Air Force pilot said he thinks repeal will be implemented this year because he believes Gates and Chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Mike Mullen want open service to happen on their watches.

“They don’t want to drag it out forever,” the pilot said. “I’m thinking that probably by the end of September, it’ll be all said and done. That’s my personal opinion just based on what I heard about how it’s going to take to do the different training at different levels.”

Nicholson said the perception that open service will come to the military soon is widely shared among gay troops and that the people who are “raising the alarm bells” tend to come from outside the military.

“The tone is celebratory and one of relief,” Nicholson said. “I think a lot of people that I’ve talked to and that have proactively talked to me about it seem to think it’s inevitable, it’s just a matter of time.”

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Oklahoma

Medical examine releases final autopsy on Nex Benedict’s death

Okla. high school student died by suicide in February

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Nex Benedict (Family photo)

The Oklahoma Medical Examiner’s Office released the full report Wednesday on the results of its investigation into the death of Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old transgender teen whose death has become a hot button topic in ongoing national discourse over transphobic and homophobic bullying in public school settings.

Earlier this month the medical examiner’s office released the first page of the report stating that Benedict’s death was caused by an overdose of Benadryl and Prozac, and ruled the death a suicide.

Owasso Police Department Lt. Nick Boatman said in a statement to the media at the time of the release of the initial finding: “From the beginning of this investigation, Owasso Police observed many indications that this death was the result of suicide. However, investigators did not wish to confirm that information without the final results being presented by the Oklahoma Medical Examiners Office.”

The Owasso Police Department released body cam footage from the interview conducted by the Owasso High School resource officer taken at the emergency room, investigating the attack on Benedict by three other female juveniles earlier that day in a school bathroom.

Tulsa County District Attorney Steve Kunzweiler released a statement last week that said no criminal charges will be filed in the death of the 16-year-old Owasso High School trans student.

In part the district attorney said because the finding by the Oklahoma State Medical Examiner precluded the possibility that the death was caused directly from the physical altercation at the school the day prior to the teen’s dying.

According to the district attorney, Benedict had written notes talking about suicide but did not reference the fight or incidents at school. Kunzweiler stated that the notes are personal to Benedict’s family and will not be released.

16-year-old trans teen Nex Benedict being recorded on Owasso Police Department body cam footage at the emergency room after he was attacked in a bathroom at Owasso High School speaking with the Owasso High School resource officer.

The report also detailed injuries sustained in the fight from the day before, including several small cuts and bruises on their face and body. Benedict also had a 4×3 inch bruise on his chest from resuscitation efforts. The medical examiner also found yellowing bruises on Benedict’s arms, legs and torso that were healing before the time of the fight. The medical examiner’s office also found evidence of self-inflicted wounds on the arm.

Several Oklahoma-based LGBTQ organizations responded to the release of the full autopsy report along with national LGBTQ advocacy groups GLAAD, the Human Rights Campaign and the Rainbow Youth Project.

“As our community continues to grieve and remember Nex, it’s clearer than ever that everyone from Oklahoma’s State Superintendent of Public Instruction Ryan Walters to Owasso High School staff members to the Owasso Police Department, Tulsa District Attorney, and unaccredited-since-2009 state medical examiner’s office failed to deliver justice for Nex Benedict and Nex’s loved ones,” said Nicole McAfree, executive director of Freedom Oklahoma.

“A harm doubled by the continued lack of respect for the tribal law enforcement who should be involved in a case that involves the death of an Indigenous person on reservation land. As we approach the end of the Oklahoma legislative session, lawmakers should take the opportunity to send a message of adamant opposition to anti-2SLGBTQ+ legislation and policies; and support for measures that enable more empathy, kindness and compassion, not less. Nex should be alive, and the very least we can do in Nex’s memory is demonstrate our commitment to building a better world that makes it impossible for this heartbreaking tragedy to happen again,” McAfree added.

Oklahoma Pride Alliance President Kylan L. Durant said; “Today’s news is the latest disappointing development in Nex Benedict’s tragic story. The best way to honor Nex’s memory now is by taking tangible steps to secure meaningful policies and platforms that make life better for all LGBTQ and 2STGNC+ youth. All Oklahomans deserve to live in a world that treats us with full dignity and respect, and where we can access spaces that allow us to live as our honest, authentic selves. We will never stop advocating for equality and justice in honor of Nex and too many others who left us too soon.”

The Rainbow Youth Project reported an uptick in crisis calls from Oklahoma since Benedict’s death:

  • 1,097 calls from Oklahoma in February.
  • 824 calls from Oklahoma in March so far.
  • Note that the average for the state is 357 per month.
  • Oklahoma youth reaching out to Rainbow Youth Project reported experiencing anti-LGBTQ bullying and specifically called out Walters:
    • 82 percent reported bullying.
    • 62 percent cited anti-LGBTQ rhetoric from Walters.

More than 350 organizations signed a letter one month ago calling for the Walters’ removal following his long history of leadership failures and anti-LGBTQ rhetoric.

“Since Nex’s death, the crisis lines at the Rainbow Youth Project continue to increase in calls and outreach from young people who feel discouraged and hopeless. It’s incumbent upon all of us to secure safety and well-being for young people, especially those who are most at risk of being bullied and singled out,” said Christopher Sederburg, leader of the Rainbow Youth Project’s Transgender Action Committee. “It’s hard enough to be a young person in the world today without worrying about doing something as simple as attending school safely. Nex’s death is a tremendous loss and we must do everything in our power to prevent similar tragedies from taking place in the future. Oklahoma State Superintendent Ryan Walters and the Oklahoma Department of Education must enact change and do right by all students.”

GLAAD President Sarah Kate Ellis in a statement released after the report was made public said:

“This report cannot be seen as a conclusion of the investigation into the death of a teenager who should still be here today. Oklahoma’s supposed leaders must still provide answers to the public about the state-sponsored bullying by legislation, the inadequate response to violence in a school bathroom, and all the failures to keep Nex safe that continue to endanger LGBTQ and 2STGNC+ people in Oklahoma. GLAAD continues to call for an independent investigation to resolve the systemic failures that led to Nex’s death. Our hearts remain with Nex’s family, with Oklahoma’s incredible 2STGNC+ and equality advocates and all LGBTQ youth who deserve to grow up in peace and safety.”

Kelley Robinson, president of the Human Rights Campaign, released the following statement: 

“The full report does little to fill in the gaps in information about that day or the more than a year of bullying and harassment that led up to it. It does not answer the questions of so many in Oklahoma and across the country. We continue to support the calls from Nex’s family for an independent investigation.

Young people in Oklahoma and across the country deserve to be safe and respected in school. This includes young people who may dress differently, speak differently, or identify differently from you. What’s clear from Nex’s death, and from what we’ve heard from so many students and parents in Owasso and across the state, is that this is not the case. Instead, we have seen the very adults who should be working to protect Oklahoma’s kids actively foster the hostile environment that makes students unsafe.

The release of today’s report does not change the fact that LGTBQ+ students in Oklahoma are not safe at school. And it does not change our continued calls for justice and accountability.  We reiterate our call for a full and complete investigation into the district, state Supt. Ryan Walters, the Oklahoma State Department of Education and into their response after Nex was attacked.”

On March 1, the U.S. Department of Education informed Robinson that the department will open an investigation in response to HRC’s letter regarding Owasso Public Schools and its failure to respond appropriately to sex-based harassment that may have contributed to the tragic death of Benedict.

This investigation was triggered by a formal complaint made last week by Robinson, who wrote to U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona and asked his department to use the enforcement mechanisms at its disposal to prevent similar tragedies from taking place in the future and to help hold accountable those responsible for Benedict’s tragic death.

Rainbow Youth Project USA Executive Director Lance Preston echoed his fellow non-profit CEOs at GLAAD and HRC, telling the Washington Blade:

“In a unified effort with Human Rights Campaign and GLAAD, Rainbow Youth Project USA is calling for an independent autopsy to ensure a thorough investigation into the circumstances surrounding the youth’s death. 

Rainbow Youth Project USA, demands that educational institutions in Oklahoma and across the country take immediate action to address the pervasive issue of bullying and harassment faced by LGBTQ+ students. 

Statistics reveal that 58 percent of LGBTQ+ youth in Oklahoma feel unsafe at school, painting a grim picture of the challenges these individuals face on a daily basis. “Schools must be safe and inclusive environments for all students, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It is unacceptable that a significant number of LGBTQ+ students are experiencing bullying and harassment.”

Rainbow Youth Project USA, based on recent data, received 1,097 crisis calls from Oklahoma in February alone. Nearly 86 percent of these callers reported instances of being bullied within the state’s schools, highlighting the urgent need for improved support and protection for LGBTQ youth. 

In a conversation with the Blade on Wednesday, investigative journalist T.J. Payne reflected on the report:

“I can’t help but feel a sickness around all of it. As a trans person, reading a trans child’s autopsy is really fucked. Referring to their various insides as normal, intact, not usual. If only we described trans people the same way externally. Just like everybody else in the world trying to survive.”

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Federal Government

National Security Council meets with Ugandan LGBTQ activist

Frank Mugisha met with the NSC on Monday

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Frank Mugisha, Gay News, Washington Blade
Sexual Minorities Uganda Executive Director Frank Mugisha (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

The U.S. National Security Council met with Ugandan LGBTQ rights activist Frank Mugisha on Monday, according to a spokesperson who reaffirmed America’s opposition to civil rights abuses against LGBTQ people in the East African country.

Last year, Uganda passed the Anti-Homosexuality Act, a law that criminalizes, with prison sentences, identifying as gay or lesbian and imposes the death penalty for “aggravated homosexuality.”

The Biden-Harris administration has repeatedly denounced the legislation and called for its repeal.

“There have been increased reports of evictions, vigilante attacks, and police harassment, abuse, and detainment of individuals who are or are perceived to be LGBTQI+, including reports of the Ugandan police subjecting individuals to forced anal examinations – an abusive, degrading practice that serves no investigative or public health purpose,” the White House wrote in a December 2023 fact sheet.

In a post on X about the meeting with Mugisha, Adrienne Watson, special assistant to the president and National Security Council senior director for press and spokesperson, wrote that the “United States continues to have zero tolerance for any form of discrimination or harmful activities.”

Mugisha, who is gay, is one of the most prominent LGBTQ advocates in Uganda, winning the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights Award and Thorolf Rafto Memorial Prize for his work in 2011. He was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 2014.

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District of Columbia

D.C. events to commemorate International Transgender Day of Visibility

Monica Beverly-Hillz to attend Blossom Gala at Hook Hall

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(Washington Blade file photo by Michael K. Lavers)

Trans USA National Pageantry and the National Center for Transgender Equality will hold a series of events in D.C. on Sunday in commemoration of the International Transgender Day of Visibility.

The TRANSform the Vote rally will take place on the National Mall.

Organized by the Queer Equity Institute and NCTE, the event aims to celebrate trans liberation, combat violence and promote civic engagement. Elected officials, activists and artists are expected to participate. 

Queer Equity Institute Executive Director Leigh Finke and NCTE Executive Director Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen discussed the rally and how it will empower the trans community and promote advocacy.

“From restricting access to medically necessary healthcare to denying trans students the opportunity to participate in sports, we have seen nationwide efforts to exclude trans people from society,” said Heng-Lehtinen. “TRANSform the Vote presents a historical moment for us to empower our community — casting our votes and participating in democracy is just one of many ways our community can advocate for the issues that matter to us.”

Finke, Minnesota’s first openly trans lawmaker who wrote the state’s groundbreaking trans refuge bill, echoed Heng-Lehtinen.

“Over the past few years, we’ve watched again and again as ‘jokes’ became hate speech, hate speech became bills, bills became laws; and all the jokes, hate speech and laws created an environment where transgender people are assaulted, beaten and murdered,” said Finke. “Some of the most important tools we have to fight back against these attacks is to change the culture through voting, running for office and creating art and music that shift society. This rally is meant to highlight and encourage folks to use those tools in their communities.”

Confirmed speakers and participants aside from Finke and Heng-Lehtinen include:

  • Minnesota state Rep. Alicia “Liish” Kozlowski, who is one of the country’s foremost activists for Indigenous trans and two-spirit people.
  • Minneapolis City Council President Andrea Jenkins.
  • Angelica Ross, a Buddhist artist and human rights activist.
  • Visual artist Cassils

The first annual Blossom Gala will take place at Hook Hall (3400 Georgia Ave., N.W.) and will feature keynote speakers, a Q&A panel discussion featuring national leaders in the trans rights movement and drag performances. Cherry Bomb, which will cap off the event, is an all-trans drag showcase.

Mr. Trans USA 2020 Eddie Broadway; Miss Trans USA 2020 Bianca Nicole and Candi Stratton, a world-renowned Cher illusionist, are among those who are expected to perform. Other participants will include Miss Trans USA 2023 Anya Marino, Mr. Trans USA 2023 Trey C. Michaels and NCTE National Organizer Sybastian Smith.  

Monica Beverly-Hillz from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” will also participate.

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