Local
Va. B&B rejects gays, couple claims
Lawmaker calls for anti-discrimination protections
A legally married gay man claims that a Virginia bed and breakfast denied him and his spouse a reservation for a room because they are of the same gender.
Russell Williams, 56, of Hanover, Pa., said his spouse, David Schaefer, 54, tried to make reservations in late February at Stafford House in Fairfax, Va., as part of a trip for the wedding of their nephew. However, they say they were denied a room over the phone on the basis of their relationship.
“So they, in that conversation — they ascertained that this was two men,” Williams said. “It’s a husband-and-wife operation. The wife was on the phone with David, and she said, ‘Well, we don’t accept non-traditional couples.'”
Williams, who married Schaefer five years ago in Boston after being together 35 years, said his spouse tried to “push back a bit” on the Stafford House owner, but she remained firm in denying the reservation. Williams, a racehorse breeder, said the owner also told Schaefer, a physician, that unmarried opposite-sex couples would be unable to obtain a reservation.
“There were no harsh words,” Williams said. “Apparently, the husband is a minister and it’s a religion-based policy that they have. And that was that. I guess we’ll stay at the Marriott.”
Stafford House didn’t respond to multiple requests from the Washington Blade to confirm the allegation that an owner denied the couple a reservation.
Virginia has no LGBT-specific non-discrimination law, nor one that protects same-sex couples against discrimination in public accommodations.
Williams said facing this discrimination reminded him of the mistreatment that racial minorities in the United States once faced in similar situations.
“The first thing that popped into my head was now I knew how black people felt 50 years ago,” Williams said. “It was bizarre. David felt the same way.”
Virginia State Del. Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria), the only openly gay member of the General Assembly and a candidate for a Virginia State Senate seat, called the alleged discrimination faced by Williams and Schaefer “an embarrassment to Virginia.”
“It’s surprising, in spite of our lack of protections and laws, that this would happen in Fairfax County,” Ebbin said. “It’s another outrage that makes me want to redouble my efforts in support of equality in Virginia.”
Ebbin said a change in law to prohibit discrimination of all types would be the best way to remedy the situation. In the 2011 session of the General Assembly, Del. Ken Plum (D-Fairfax) introduced legislation that would amend the Virginia Human Rights Act to include safeguards for LGBT people against unlawful discrimination.
“Clearly, we need to change the laws to prohibit discrimination of all types,” Ebbin said. “Unfortunately, we’re still at the building-block level.”
Fred Sainz, vice president of communications for the Human Rights Campaign, also expressed frustration that no legal protections exist to protect LGBT people from discrimination in public accommodations.
“These kinds of things should not be happening in this day and age, and the frustrating part is that they happen all too frequently in areas all across our country,” Sainz said. “It’s even more frustrating when they happen right across from the nation’s capital — in a city that is virtually within walking distance of the nation’s capital.”
Sainz said the incident “makes clear the need for uniformity of laws nationwide that protect all Americans, specifically on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.” But Sainz also said the situation speaks to the need for state non-discrimination legislation in Virginia because he said states have always been “first and strongest” to protect LGBT families.
Williams said although he felt he faced discrimination, he doesn’t think sympathizers should retaliate against the owners of Stafford House.
“I would not want to see the people at the B&B persecuted,” Williams said. “I think it’s wrong and I think they’re ignorant, but I hope that — and I’ve talked about this with a lot of friends — gay people should not retaliate against this kind of thing. I think we should just go ahead and do what we have to do to get our civil rights and make sure that people comply.”
LGBT advocates said they felt drawing attention to this issue can help with efforts to pass laws to prevent such discrimination in the future. Ebbin said such examples can help build the case in the Virginia General Assembly to pass non-discrimination laws.
“We constantly hear complaints from Richmond that there are no documented cases of discrimination,” Ebbin said. “Every incident like this helps us make it more clear to my colleagues that we need to move forward on protecting LGBT people along with all others.”
Sainz added he believes more LGBT couples throughout the country face this kind of discrimination, but few make the incidents public because they’re embarrassed.
“My suspicion is more incidents like this take place than we hear of because people are embarrassed, and so they don’t want to shine the light on these kinds of situations,” Sainz said. “I think that this couple bringing attention to this issue is the right thing to do.”
UPDATE: Following the posting of this article, Donna Stafford, an owner of Stafford House, told the Washington Blade that the bed and breakfast has changed its policy and will no longer bar anyone from making a reservation.
“We were in the process of [changing our policy] even before your article came out,” Stafford said. “We’re not going to put restrictions on anyone that stays.”
In a separate email, Stafford noted that the prior policy of Stafford House was within the letter of all relevant state and local housing laws.
ADDITIONAL UPDATE: In a joint statement, Williams and Schaefer told the Blade on Wednesday via email that following Stafford House’s announced change in policy, they booked a room at the facility and plan a stay shortly.
“Pursuant to your update we have reserved a room at the Stafford House and plan to stay there this weekend,” they wrote. “Tolerance doesn’t require agreement about everything and if they learned that across the river in Congress the whole country would be better off.”
District of Columbia
Physician: addiction doesn’t always look the way you think it does
Yngvild Olsen headed HHS’s Center for Substance Abuse Treatment during Biden-Harris administration
Many people think the telltale signs of drug addiction include sweating and vomiting. But a prominent addiction medicine physician says the best signals aren’t always so visible.
Dr. Yngvild Olsen says more accurate signs come from the brain, specifically the compulsion to keep using drugs, including opioids, despite damage to education, career and relationships.
While it may be harder to understand the true nature of drug addiction, it’s never been more important because of the increased fatality risk of even microscopic amounts of fentanyl, which can be found in many illegal drugs.
Olsen, who headed the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment at the Department of Health and Human Services in the Biden-Harris administration, has worked in addiction treatment for more than two decades. She is now a healthcare advisor with the law and professional consulting firm Manatt, Phelps & Phillips and a physician at the Institute for Behavior Resources/Reach Health Services in Baltimore.
Olsen met with Youthcast Media Group to discuss her career, the opioid epidemic and what to know about fentanyl. The physician, a graduate of Harvard Medical School and the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, cited her field experiences as key in shaping her perspective on addiction treatment and recovery. This interview is edited for clarity and length.
What made you believe this work in addiction treatment is important?
I had a couple of experiences really early on in my career that very significantly shaped my interest in addiction and addiction medicine, and my belief that I had a role, and that I could really help people get better from that disease. So the first was during the summer between my first and second year in medical school. I spent the summer on the Eagle Butte and Pine Ridge reservations in South Dakota and really saw firsthand just the devastating impact that substance use — in that case, alcohol — had on not only individuals, but their families and whole communities, and just how profound that impact had been for people who had lost their lives, who had lost family members, who had physically, emotionally and spiritually negative impacts of just feeling very hopeless and and trying to find solace in their substance use, particularly their alcohol use, and doing that without really finding it. I think that was really the lesson that experience taught me.
What did you learn about treatment practices during your medical education? How was that helpful to your career?
When I was a resident in general primary care at Boston Medical Center, I was really fortunate to have a group of mentors who also were general internists, like I was training to be, who were very interested and focused on medical education and research in substance use. And so they modeled for me many of the interactions that we had with patients. I got to do a research study with one of them looking at smoking cessation among people with opiate use disorder, taking methadone. And really importantly, I got to spend a month with one of them at the Boston City Public Health Department’s Opioid Treatment Program, or what some people call a methadone clinic, because he was their medical director. I got to see people recover, and who had recovered, who had gotten their lives back together, gotten their families back together, had new families (or) businesses. It was unbelievably helpful to see that people could recover, that they did recover, and that I, as a physician, could be part of their treatment. I saw people get better, and recover, with medications like methadone and buprenorphine, and other services designed individually for them. That was really helpful and kind of a big eye-opening moment for me.
What factors contribute to addiction and why is it considered a complex disease?
People come into treatment for their addiction — or when they’re not in treatment, but are in an emergency department or on the street — with a lot of shame. They have a lot of shame about this disease that they have, that for so long, they were told, ‘Well, you know, you should just stop. Why can’t you just stop?’ Well, we know that addiction is a disease. It’s a complex disease that has lots of different factors related to it. So there’s a big genetic component that combines with environmental factors and other risk factors. For example, people have what’s called adverse childhood experiences. Some of these are if they grow up with lots of physical or sexual abuse or emotional abuse or have parents who are in jail. That’s really traumatic and so all those childhood experiences that increase stress are a big risk factor.
What is the easiest opioid to get addicted to?
It used to be heroin. That was a big problem, particularly in the Northeast and other parts of the country. That shifted to prescription opioids, beginning around the year 2000. So for about 10 years, it was really prescription opioids that were a big problem — people misusing them. And then it switched back to heroin. And then in about 2015, fentanyl came on the scene, and that really changed the game, given just how unbelievably potent fentanyl is, so it doesn’t take a lot to cause an overdose. Now there are all those other synthetic opioids, like the orphines and nitazenes and all those combinations of other substances, but fentanyl is really what’s still kind of driving a really big part of the overdose crisis.
Do LGBTQ individuals face heightened challenges when battling addictions? How do addiction specialists like you account for those challenges?
We certainly know that the prevalence of overdose and the challenges of substances is higher in the LGBTQ+ community. Where I see patients, we did a big LGBTQ+ training and had a grant to specifically provide services to that population. Where we were located, in Baltimore City, there is a big transgender community not that far from us. Particularly in the LGBTQ+ population, they have multiple stigmas. So it just compounds multiple stressors. And stress is a risk factor for substance use, and particularly a risk factor for recurrence of a substance use disorder. And so when you have all these negative factors building up in people, that can make it that much more challenging for people to find the services that they find meaningful and that are welcoming and supportive of them. So we tried very hard — and we still do — to make sure that we are a welcoming and safe space, because I think it is that safety that is really paramount.
What advice would you give someone worried about a friend or family member’s substance use?
There are two things. One is: I would talk to that person about your concerns and how that person’s personality changes or their behavior changes when they’re using or in withdrawal, and how that might be impacting their health and how they’re feeling. And then second: you can let them know that there are actual treatments that are really helpful, that can make them feel better and that can help them get back to who they were before they started using. It’s important not to be accusatory because … [people] have a lot of shame already, and so when somebody starts accusing them, that shame just gets worse. And a lot of times, people who have a substance use disorder or are using opioids won’t necessarily agree that they have a problem when you first start to talk to them. But talk to them again every time something happens and say, ‘I’m really worried about you because this now has happened and I see it as being tied to your substance use.’ And let them know that there are people who can help and that they could actually feel a lot better.
This work is part of a partnership between the Washington Blade Foundation and Youthcast Media Group, funded in part through a FY26 Community Development Grant from the Office of D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser. Adrian Malone is a senior at Bard High School Early College DC, one of Youthcast Media Group’s journalism class partners. Shreya Jyotishi, YMG assistant manager of content and programming, is a former Washington Blade intern and 2026 graduate of American University.
District of Columbia
Bet Mishpachah participates in D.C. Oct. 7 commemoration ceremony
Wednesday marked three years since Hamas attacked Israel
Bet Mishpachah Executive Director Joshua Maxey on Wednesday was among those who spoke at a ceremony in D.C. that marked the third anniversary of the Oct. 7 attack in Israel.
The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington hosted the ceremony that took place at the Washington Hebrew Congregation in Northwest D.C. Bet Mishpachah is the city’s LGBTQ synagogue.
“It was a deeply moving evening, especially hearing the stories of people who knew those who were murdered and those who survived and experiencing music that gave a voice to grief and hope,” Maxey told the Washington Blade.
Hamas militants on Oct. 7, 2023, killed roughly 1,200 people, including upwards of 360 partygoers at the Nova Music Festival near Re’im, a kibbutz that is a couple miles from the Gaza Strip, when it launched its surprise attack on Israel. The militants also kidnapped more than 200 people.
The Hamas-controlled Gaza Health Ministry says Israeli forces have killed more than 74,000 people in the enclave since Oct. 7.
The International Criminal Court in 2024 issued arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu; former Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant; former Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar; Mohamed Diab Ibrahim al-Masri, the head of Hamas’s military wing known as the Qassam Brigades; and Ismail Haniyeh, chair of the Hamas Political Bureau, after it accused them of committing war crimes and crimes against humanity in Gaza and Israel.
The Israeli government has strongly denied it has committed genocide in Gaza.
An Israeli airstrike on a compound in Khan Younis, a city in southern Gaza, on July 13, 2024, killed killed Deif, one of the alleged Oct. 7 masterminds. Israel less than three weeks later assassinated Haniyah in Tehran, the Iranian capital. Israel Defense Forces soldiers on Oct. 16, 2024, killed Sinwar in Rafah, a city in southern Gaza.
Hamas last October released the remaining hostages in Gaza as part of a ceasefire agreement that President Donald Trump helped broker. Israel has continued to conduct airstrikes and other military operations in Gaza since the official suspension of hostilities took effect.
“For Bet Mishpachah, it was especially meaningful to lift up the names of LGBTQ+ people, those whose identities we know and those whose stories may never be fully known, who were murdered, and to honor the LGBTQ+ survivors whose resilience continues to inspire us,” said Maxey, referring to his participation in Wednesday’s ceremony. “Emily Damari’s story is particularly poignant: while held hostage, she had to hide the fact that she was gay because she feared that revealing her identity to her captors could put her life at even more risk. Yet, she survived.”
“Her story, like so many others, reminds us of the extraordinary courage it takes simply to remain human in the face of hatred,” he added. “May we continue to remember and to mourn, to honor, and to work toward a future rooted in peace and hope.”
Virginia
Campaign urges Virginia High School League to reverse stance on trans athletes
Equality Arlington and other advocacy groups behind ‘Right 2 Play’ VA’ initiative
Virginia advocacy groups have launched a campaign that urges the Virginia High School League to once again allow student athletes to compete on sports teams that correspond with their gender identity.
Equality Arlington on Sept. 16 published an article about the “Right 2 Play VA” campaign. Amy, a group representative, spoke about the initiative with the Washington Blade.
“The primary goal is to reverse the Virginia High School League’s discriminatory ban on allowing transgender girls to play on girls’ sports and replace it with a policy that is fair for all students.” they said.
The Virginia High School League in 2025 announced the policy, which reversed a previous position in support of transgender and nonbinary athletes. The 2025 policy coincided with President Donald Trump’s executive order — “Keeping Men Out of Women’s Sports” — that threatened to “rescind all funds from educational programs that deprive women and girls of fair athletic opportunities, which results in the endangerment, humiliation, and silencing of women and girls.”
The Arlington Gender Identity Alliance, Equality Virginia, and the American Civil Liberties Union of Virginia have also joined the “Right 2 Play VA” campaign.
“We had a policy in Virginia for 12 years that allowed transgender girls to play on girls’ sports teams, and we had not one instance — not one instance — that was brought forward demonstrating an unfair advantage or any type of safety concern,” said Amy.
Amy then discussed what they described are the benefits of trans youth playing sports.
“There are physical benefits. There are mental health benefits. There are community and social development benefits, and those are all well documented,” they said. “All kids should have the right to benefit from playing youth sports. We are talking about kids. We are talking about youth. We are not talking about Olympians. We are not talking about Division One college athletes. We are talking about kids in Virginia, and because the benefits of sports are so well documented, we think that every kid should have the ability to play sports.”
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