Living
Equality Md. leader fired
Development director quits in protest; Meneses-Sheets cites ‘destructive forces’
Morgan Meneses-Sheets (Blade photo by Michael Key)
The board of directors of the statewide LGBT organization Equality Maryland voted Sunday night in a closed meeting to fire its executive director, Morgan Meneses-Sheets, according to a statement released today by Matthew Thorn, the group’s development director.
Thorn, who was hired in January to lead Equality Maryland’s fundraising activities, announced in his statement that he was resigning immediately in protest over the board’s decision to dismiss Meneses-Sheets.
“This past Sunday, the Board of Directors of Equality Maryland, in executive session, voted to remove her from her position, essentially telling the organization’s staff, volunteers, supporters, funders and general community that the organization will now move in a different direction,” Thorn said in his statement.
“I fear that the direction that the board seeks to take is one that will not be a beneficial path for the community, for the organization, for the staff and especially for the organization’s funders, and that’s why, effective today, I am resigning from my position as director of development of Equality Maryland.”
In her own statement sent to the group’s volunteers today, which sources said she planned to post on her personal Facebook page, Meneses-Sheets said, “It is with heavy heart that I share that today will be my last day as the executive director of Equality Maryland. While it is not my choice to leave, it is my choice to make my voice heard as I exit.”
While her tenure at the organization over the past 18 months has provided “some of the most rewarding moments of my career,” she said in her statement that her job has also been “extremely” difficult.
“In particular the past few months have been tough to bear,” she said. “Not because of the hard work which I welcome and felt honored to be part of, but because of the forces within the organization and external politics that created additional and unnecessary obstacles to our forward movement and success.”
She added, “As I move on, I will not focus on the negative or destructive forces that created this untenable situation; instead I will look back at the many proud moments along the way.”
Patrick Wojahn, chair of the board of the Equality Maryland Foundation, the group’s educational arm, said the board would not comment on specific reasons for Meneses-Sheets’ departure, other than to say “it was a mutual decision by her and the organization.”
He said the board views both Meneses-Sheets’ and Mathew Thorn’s departures as personnel matters, which the board doesn’t publicly discuss.
Asked about Meneses-Sheets’ statement saying it was not her choice to leave the organization, Wojahn said, “It was partially our decision, too. But we essentially decided to go in a different direction as an organization. And I don’t want to comment any more on personnel matters.”
He added, “We should be coming out next week with more information on how we intend to proceed.”
Meneses-Sheets did not return a call Friday seeking an interview to discuss why she believes the board chose to dismiss her.
Sources familiar with the organization, who spoke only on condition that they not be identified, said Meneses-Sheets’ firing could stem, in part, from disagreements between her and board members over some of her decisions in carrying out the group’s efforts to pass a same-sex marriage bill and transgender non-discrimination bill in the Maryland Legislature.
At least two sources said board members became irate when she disclosed in a telephone news conference with media representatives the group’s timetable for seeking a vote by lawmakers on the marriage bill. The board members reportedly believed releasing such information would help opponents of the bills develop strategies to block or kill the legislation.
Her discussion on the media call about the strategy for the bill’s timing prompted Equality Maryland Board Chair Charles Butler to issue an order prohibiting Meneses-Sheets from speaking to the media, an action that other staff members viewed as an unfair intrusion by the board into her ability to use her judgment in carrying out the board’s policies, one of the sources said.
The same source said some board members became further upset last month when Meneses-Sheets agreed to a question-and-answer interview in Metro Weekly magazine, in which her photo appeared on the magazine’s cover.
“Some of them thought she was thumbing her nose at those on the board who didn’t want her to talk to the press,” the source said.
Her supporters viewed the board’s directive prohibiting an executive director of a political organization from talking to the media as a petty intrusion into the day-to-day operation of the group, sources familiar with the group said.
One source blamed the board for “failing to get their own act together” on the marriage and transgender bills.
Butler didn’t return a call on Friday seeking his views on the reasons for Meneses-Sheets’ dismissal.
The departure of Meneses-Sheets and Thorn from Equality Maryland follows a tumultuous four-month period in which tense, behind-the-scenes disputes surfaced between board members and Meneses-Sheets over strategy in the group’s unsuccessful effort to pass same-sex marriage and transgender non-discrimination bills, according to sources familiar with the organization.
Sources say the tension and sometimes bitter infighting went beyond Equality Maryland and involved a tangle of alliances with several national LGBT organizations that exerted great influence over the push to pass the same-sex marriage bill. Among them were D.C.-based Human Rights Campaign, Denver-based Gill Action Fund and the New York-based Freedom to Marry.
E-mails obtained by the Blade that were sent by officials of the three groups to Meneses-Sheets, Equality Maryland board members and LGBT members of the Maryland Legislature show that the groups pushed hard for cancelling a planned vote on the marriage bill in the state’s House of Delegates. The controversial decision to cancel the vote and recommit the bill to committee, which killed it for the year, came after the national LGBT groups and some supportive lawmakers determined they didn’t have the votes to pass the bill and it would be better to recall it then go forward with a losing vote.
Other activists and Equality Maryland supporters strongly disputed that decision, saying the bill had a chance of passing and even if it lost, it would have been better to force lawmakers to take a recorded vote to determine where they stood on marriage equality.
The death of the marriage bill for the legislature’s 2011 session was quickly followed by a separate vote in the Maryland Senate to recommit to committee the Gender Identity Non-Discrimination Act, an action that also killed that measure for the year.
The two developments were viewed as a double defeat for Equality Maryland at a time when many thought the legislature should have passed both measures. Supporters of Meneses-Sheets say at least some Equality Maryland board members were seeking to make her the “scapegoat” for the bills’ defeat, saying the demise of the two measures was due, at least in part, to forces beyond Equality Maryland’s control
Meneses-Sheets devotes most of her two-page statement to citing what she calls the major successes of Equality Maryland during her tenure and the tenure of the group’s staff and volunteers. Among other things, she said the group played a key role in the advancement of the same-sex marriage and transgender rights bills to a point further than had been achieved over the previous five years.
“As a Marylander, as a lesbian, as a parent, as someone with many loved ones who are transgender and as someone who believes in social justice, I sincerely hope that Equality Maryland will succeed in their future endeavors to ensure that our state lives up to the promise of equality for all of its citizens,” she said. “This will require significant change, but it is possible.”
Meneses-Sheets became the third executive director of Equality Maryland to leave the group since 2008. Thorn’s resignation comes just five months after he joined the group in January. His predecessor as development director, Kevin Walling, left the group in September 2010 less than two years after being hired in January 2009.
Thorn’s statement in full:
“Today, it is with great sadness that I resign as director of development of Equality Maryland. Over the past few months, I have given tireless energy to see the success of the organization and it has been made apparent in these last few days that the organization, lead by the board of directors wishes to see the organization to move in a different direction.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Marylanders have found a true champion in Morgan Meneses-Sheets. Not only has she committed time and energy away from her wife and her 5-month-old daughter, but she had the tenacity to keep fighting in Annapolis, even when all others had given up. Giving up just isn’t in her vocabulary. This past Sunday, the board of directors of Equality Maryland, in executive session voted to remove her from her position, essentially telling the organization’s staff, volunteers, supporters, funders and general community that the organization will now move in a different direction.
I fear that the direction that the board seeks to take is one that will not be a beneficial path for the community, for the organization, for the staff and especially the organization’s funders, and that is why, effective today, I am resigning from my position as director of development of Equality Maryland. I wish nothing but the best to the staff and the community and hope that we can overcome these obstacles to continue to fight for our full equality.”
Real Estate
Avoiding the basement blahs
Renovating a lower level can add significant value to your home
Sadly, we have waved goodbye to summer and are now slowly shifting from enjoying outdoor activities to things we can do indoors. If you are lucky enough to have a basement, renovating it into livable space can be a great winter project to dramatically increase the functionality and value of your home.
Basements come with unique challenges due to their location below ground level, and overlooking critical aspects can lead to long-term problems. They are particularly vulnerable to dampness. Failure to address moisture can lead to mold growth, structural damage, and health hazards.
To tackle moisture control, start by checking for water leaks or seepage through the walls and floor. If moisture is present, you may need to apply waterproofing solutions to the exterior or interior walls of your home. Installing a vapor barrier is advisable to prevent condensation from damaging insulation and walls.
Make sure the basement has proper drainage systems, such as a sump pump and foundation drainage. The sump pump can remove water that collects around the foundation, while an effective drainage system redirects water away from the home. Installing a dehumidifier can also help.
Basements also tend to be colder than the rest of the house. Proper insulation in the walls and floor helps regulate temperature, reducing heating costs in winter and maintaining a cool, comfortable, and energy efficient environment in summer. Insulating the ceiling can reduce noise transfer between the basement and the upper floors, making the space quieter and more private.
Before any significant work begins, it’s crucial to assess the basement’s structural integrity. This includes checking the foundation for cracks or signs of shifting, which could indicate a bigger problem, particular with the plethora of old houses in the area.
If you notice any large cracks or signs of movement, consult a structural engineer or foundation expert to determine whether repairs are needed. Small cracks can be sealed, but larger ones may require reinforcement or more extensive foundation work.
Depending on local building codes, you may need to install egress windows if you are adding bedrooms or turning the basement into a rental unit. Egress windows provide an escape route in case of emergencies and allow more natural light to enter the space, making it feel more welcoming.
When adding a bathroom or kitchen, you’ll find that installing plumbing in a basement can be more challenging because of the need to pump wastewater upwards. You may need a macerating toilet system or a sewage ejector pump to manage this. I learned this the first time I found that, contrary to what we have been told, water can indeed travel up.
Adding more outlets, lighting, appliances, and ventilation systems may necessitate electrical upgrades. Since basements are often unfinished, you may have exposed wiring, which should be properly enclosed or rerouted to meet code. Depending on the scope of the renovation, you might need to upgrade your home’s electrical panel to handle the increased demand.
Proper ventilation is often overlooked in basement renovations but is essential for maintaining air quality and preventing the buildup of stale air or harmful gases. Installing mechanical ventilation, such as an HRV (Heat Recovery Ventilator) or an ERV (Energy Recovery Ventilator), can help ensure a consistent flow of fresh air in the basement.
Radon, a naturally occurring radioactive gas, can enter homes through cracks in the foundation. Since radon exposure is a leading cause of lung cancer, it’s wise to test for it before beginning the renovation. If elevated levels are detected, you may need to install a mitigation system.
Once the technical aspects are addressed, focus on creating a functional and aesthetically pleasing layout. The design of your basement will depend on how you plan to use the space, whether it’s a guest room, home theater, office, workout area, or game room.
Since natural light is limited in basements, it is important to plan your lighting carefully. Recessed lighting is a popular choice because it doesn’t take up ceiling space, but you should also consider adding floor lamps and sconces to make the space feel brighter and more inviting.
Choose flooring that can withstand moisture, such as vinyl planks, tile, or sealed concrete. Since basements can double as storage areas, consider incorporating built-in shelving, closets, or under-stair storage to maximize the available space.
Whether doing it yourself or hiring professionals, renovating a basement is a rewarding project that can add significant value to your home, but it comes with challenges. From moisture control and insulation to plumbing and air quality, careful planning is crucial to ensure a comfortable, functional, and safe space to enjoy indoor hobbies and emerge from winter free from the Basement Blahs.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in DC, MD & VA with RLAH Real Estate / @properties. Call or text her at (202) 246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Hi Michael,
I’ve been best friends with Chris since we were kids. We’re both gay and both wound up in D.C. after college. And we’re roommates.
The trouble started about a year and a half ago. Chris, who has always liked working out, started getting absorbed in bodybuilding.
He started spending hours a day working out and all these weird powders and supplements started piling up in the kitchen.
Chris became obsessed with building muscle. When he told me he was trying steroids, I told him that was a bad idea but he told me he was doing it under medical supervision and I shouldn’t worry.
In recent months he’s a changed person. He’s short with me a lot, angers easily. He got into a few screaming matches with Matthew, his boyfriend, that I overheard. He sounded paranoid and out-of-control. Guess what? Matthew walked out on him.
I’m not proud but I did a little snooping (basically looked in his bathroom) – and the stuff was everywhere.
Last week he lost his job. He wouldn’t tell me why but I am pretty sure it’s due to his increasingly weird and angry behavior. I told him that—and told him that I know he’s using a lot more than he should (is any amount OK?)—and he majorly blew up at me. Now he’s not talking to me and he texted me I should move out and not wait until our lease is up.
I don’t know what to do. I love Chris deeply—but it seems like the guy I’ve known for 20 years is gone and has been replaced by a mean paranoid guy who is driving his life off a cliff.
I’m wondering about letting his parents know. I’ve known them since childhood and I’m hoping they can talk some sense into him. Or an intervention with all his friends (none of whom he is speaking to anymore for one reason or another, but the real reason is his crazy behavior). Maybe we could confront him and get him to stop.
But I’m not sure what the right thing to do is and don’t want to alienate him completely. Any thoughts or ideas for a good strategy?
Michael replies:
I’m sorry, I know it’s excruciating to watch someone you love struggle with addiction. I don’t think you can get Chris to stop or moderate his use.
You have shared your concerns with Chris, and he’s blown up at you. This is not a guy who wants to look at his life choices critically.
You could tell his parents, but you have to weigh the risks versus benefits. Maybe they would be able to influence Chris to cut back on his steroid use. Or maybe he’d just cut himself off from them as well, further deepening his isolation, and perhaps leading to his being even less tethered to reality.
I would make similar points about an intervention: Sometimes they have a positive impact on the person who is being confronted. Sometimes they don’t do much except rile the person up, and lead him or her to dig further into denial and isolation.
My own experience is that interventions have a greater chance of being helpful when the person can acknowledge the unmanageability of the addiction and is willing to try something different. Chris doesn’t sound like he is anywhere near that point.
Simply put, there’s no easy fix to this, because only Chris gets to decide how he wants to live his life, even if his choices are ruinous.
Here’s what you can do:
First, if Chris starts talking to you again, be supportive without being enabling. This means not criticizing him or telling him what to do; letting him know that you care about him and are there to help if he wants help; not joining him in minimizing the seriousness of his situation; and having a boundary when necessary.
For example:
If there are times when he is pleasant to be with, enjoy them.
If he’s snapping at you for no reason, you can say “hey, it’s not fun to be with you when you’re like this—I’ll see you later.”
If he’s lamenting his job loss, you might reply, “I’m sorry you lost your job—and I’m sure you could take steps to succeed in another job.”
If he attempts to start an argument with you about how his steroid use is not a problem, or that you’re blowing it out of proportion, don’t join the argument. “Sorry, I see it differently, and I’m not going to argue with you about this.”
If he continues to not speak to you, you can still continue to reach out to him now-and-then, in ways that don’t require him to respond, to let him know you that you’ll be there for him if he needs help at some point.
One more thing you can do is get some support for yourself. This is a tough situation for you as well. It’s easy for someone in your situation to feel like you’re doing the wrong thing, no matter what you do.
I’d suggest that you attend at least a few Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is a support fellowship for people whose loved ones are struggling with addiction. You’ll get support in recognizing that there really are limits to what you can do; in setting a boundary when you need to; and in knowing that you are not alone.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
As interest rates begin to cool off for the first time in a few years, prospective “first time homebuyers” may have their wheels spinning again about whether it’s a good idea to buy a home. Still, the idea of home ownership may feel out of reach for some; historically, the prevalence of homeowners has been low in certain subsets of the population. It wasn’t until the 1900’s that laws were enacted to grant women and people of color equal access to property ownership:
1968: The Fair Housing Act prohibited discrimination in home buying, homeownership, and rental real estate based on sex, race, religion, and other protected classes.
1974: The Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA) prohibited discrimination in consumer credit practices based on sex, marital status, and other factors. This made it easier for women to buy homes by allowing them to apply for loans and credit without a male co-signer.
Even with these laws in place, socioeconomic disparities and lack of access to generational wealth have slowed progress in this area. Generational wealth occurs when resources are passed on to family members when the family homeowner or the head of household passes away. In areas like D.C. this type of asset can be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and can be used to pay off student loans, help younger members of the family purchase their first or second homes wherever they live, or be invested in other ways.
While this may have been the key to buying property in the past, people today are pursuing homeownership for themselves and their own means — especially women. Many real estate agents in the D.C. metro area can testify that they are working with individuals who are the first in their family — and often the first woman in their family — to buy a home. The days of waiting until marriage to invest in property are slipping away; these days people marry later, may not stay married, or may choose not to marry at all. “I didn’t consider buying a home at first, because I didn’t really see myself as a “typical” homeowner; I was single and wasn’t sitting on a stockpile of cash,” says Jordyn White, a D.C. resident who bought her first home at 29. “A trusted friend encouraged me to explore first-time homebuyer programs, and I’m glad I did. My monthly mortgage payment is similar to what I would likely pay to rent in the same area, and now I have created a path to generational wealth for my children.”
The rates of homeownership for people of color and women are steadily rising. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey using 2022 census data found that single women owned 58 percent of the nearly 35.2 million homes owned by unmarried Americans, while single men owned 42 percent. Single homeowners have peace of mind in knowing that they own assets by themselves.
Compass real estate agent Katri Hunter has helped many of her clients buy their first home. She reports, “I find more and more that I have single clients that approach me in their early/mid-30’s and say that they thought they would be buying their first property with a significant other and then decided to take things into their own hands … I tell people all the time to consult an estate planner when and if they do decide to get married to discuss pre-marital assets and keeping those in their own name. I think people really take more pride and ownership buying property on their own rather than something they dread.”
Katri Hunter can be reached at [email protected]. Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected]
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