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My weekend with President Obama

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On Friday night I attended a fundraising dinner for the president at my good friend Dr. Jim D’Orta’s home in Georgetown. Jim, an emergency room physician by training and a successful businessman who founded Consumer Health Services, Inc., lives in the house formerly owned by Pamela and Averill Harriman.

The house has seen many grand parties and fundraisers and hosted many presidents in its past. It was the house from which Pamela Harriman ran what was colloquially called ‘Pam PAC’ in the 1980s when the Democrats were out of office and out of power. It was the place where Bill Clinton first met many of those who would later support him in his race for the White House in 1992. He rewarded Harriman with the position of ambassador to France. She later died in Paris of a stroke while swimming in the Ritz Hotel pool. Harriman is known as the premier courtesan of the 20th century. An amazing woman who I first had the pleasure of meeting  when she and her last husband, former governor of New York Averill Harriman, co-chaired a fundraising roast for Bella S. Abzug (D-N.Y.) to retire the debt from her losing 1976 Senate race. The roast was held at Windows on the World atop the World Trade Center.

Official co-host for the evening was Jim’s cousin Barbara Broccoli, producer of the James Bond movies. The attendees were a mix of people from the theater community, business community, and were a mix of gay and straight. There were actually two events in one. There was a reception upstairs for those contributing $10,000 and a reception and dinner for 50 at tables of 10 downstairs where guests were asked to contribute $35,800 a couple. Each guest got the opportunity to have a picture taken with the president. The president spent time with the dinner guests and was both gracious and eloquent. He talked of what he has accomplished in the first three years and what he hopes to do in the next five. The president spoke for about 15 minutes and then there was an easy conversation with topics ranging from finance, bringing our troops home, to healthcare and campaign strategy.

The president quoted Mario Cuomo, “You campaign in poetry but govern in prose” as he talked about the difference between campaigning and the more difficult role of governing a nation with two wars and a financial crisis. The partisan crowd was easy to charm and the president did that as he spoke about the need for Democrats to join in this crucial election, which he believes is a fight for the future of America.

Guests at the dinner included Broadway producer Bill Haber and his wife Carol, asset manager Jim Roumell, tech CEO and politico Rick Stamberger, and HRC activists Barry Karas, Dana Perlman and Terry Bean. Guests were treated to entertainment before and after dinner from the incredibly talented Liz Calloway who sang the best version of the song ‘Memory’ that I have ever heard. Liz sang this for years on Broadway in “Cats.” The dinner was catered by Café Milano with an impressive chocolate dessert with the presidential seal in white chocolate. It definitely was an evening all attendees will long remember.

Then after a morning at the gym with my trainer to recuperate, Saturday evening I headed out to the HRC National Dinner where Obama spoke. What an event that was. Whereas the fundraiser at Jim’s was intimate, the HRC dinner was anything but. It was a sold out event with more than 3,000 attendees in part of the exhibit hall at the Washington Convention Center. Along with President Obama, who keynoted the event, political attendees included Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), who we all hope will be the first openly gay U.S. senator. Now we all know she won’t be the first gay senator but she will be the first with the guts to say to her constituents, “I am who I am” and I can represent you better than anyone else. Tammy is a great person and a great congresswoman and I believe the people of Wisconsin will realize that and elect her. Seen in the crowd were D.C. Mayor Vince Gray, Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton and gay D.C. Council member David Catania. Also there was former second lady Tipper Gore.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg (D-R-now I-NY) received his Ally Award from Sarah Jessica Parker. Cyndi Lauper was there and I always feel old when some friends only know her from her True Colors Tour; I went to her concerts when “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” came out.

Cute new talent Greyson Chance sang and played the piano. He is the kid Ellen DeGeneres first heard sing on YouTube, had on her show, and signed to her record label ‘eleveneleven.’ Ellen’s mom Betty DeGeneres was there. Then there was Jesse Tyler Ferguson (a repeat from last year but without his partner in crime, I mean TV husband) and English singer Mika (real name Michael Holbrook Penniman, Jr.) who did the after party. When you are as hot as he is who really cares what your name is. I am sure that someone figured his presence would be a nice going away treat for Joe Solmonese and his husband Jed.

I wandered around the silent auction and everyone who is anyone in the LGBT community was there. At least we all tend to think we are everyone that is anyone. Thank goodness there are literally millions of LGBT people, friends and allies out there supporting the movement to equality.

I saw John Berry from OPM and many of his staff. I once went to his office and on every floor the elevator stopped there was another LGBT staffer. We have really taken over that agency. I saw Bill Moran and his other half Rob Shumowsky; newly engaged couple Phil Piga and Ted Miller; Dr. Tim Price who told me he is single and looking (come on guys he is a good looking doctor); David Briggs and John Benton; Rob Morris who told me his last lover cured him of lovers; Frank Kameny who was in a wheelchair with a big smile on his face because of the hot young man pushing the chair; Rehoboth Beach denizens Dennis Stout and David Studnicky; and businessman and politico Fred Hochberg.

There is always a festive mood at HRC dinners with everyone dressed to the nines. But when the president is there it makes it even more exciting. This is the second time in the past three dinners that he keynoted. Last time he told us he would repeal DADT and to keep his feet to the fire until he did. Some in the community were upset when Lt. Dan Choi and others in GetEqual chained themselves to the White House gate to actually do that. But the president did keep his promise. He was introduced this year by Joe Solmonese who gave a short and great speech. It was his last as president of HRC. He gave a shout-out to three special people who he worked with — Judy and Dennis Shepard and Eric Alva for their hard work and willingness to always do all it took to make progress for our community. I have said it before but I truly believe that in hindsight, even with all the flak he has taken, the Solmonese era will be seen as a very positive one for both HRC and the LGBT community.

Then the president took the podium and the audience stood and cheered before he even said a word. There were many expectations for this speech and some were clearly not going to be met. But I have rarely heard the president so strong and sincere and the audience clearly liked what they heard.

He began by saying, “I was in Los Angeles last week and held bilateral talks with your leader, Lady Gaga. She was wearing 16-inch heels and was very intimidating.” It was a great line and there were many in the speech both humorous and serious. For parts of his speech the crowd was on its feet cheering even while he spoke. One felt the warmth and gratitude in the room for what he has accomplished for the LGBT community and you only need to compare his efforts and this speech to what the opposition has been saying in their zeal to turn back the clock on the gains of the LGBT community to understand the strong positive feelings for this president.

After a weekend both meeting and hearing the president I share that positive feeling and while I will continue to push him and use my voice to call for full civil and human rights for the LGBT community, I will at the same time do all I can to ensure that Barack Obama will have a second term in the White House.

 

 

 

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How do we honor Renee Good, Alex Pretti?

Lives more than last 10 seconds captured on video

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Protesters in Haymarket, Va. on Jan. 11 protest against U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement after an ICE agent shot Renee Good to death in Minneapolis. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Renee Good. Alex Pretti.

During this last year, I wondered who would be the first U.S. citizen to be shot by our government. It was not a matter of if, but when. Always.

And now we know.

I thought it would be soldiers. But the masked men got there first. Because when you mix guns and protests, guns inevitably go off. The powers that be always knew it, hoped for it, and wanted it to happen. 

Why? Because masked men and guns instill fear. And that’s the point. Ask yourself when’s the last time you saw masked men and guns in our cities, or anywhere for that matter. I always thought that men masked men with guns robbed banks. I was wrong.  

Masked men want to rob us of our dignity as human beings. Of our assurance in the calmness and contentment of our communities. They want to rob us of our trust in our institutions, and our faith in each other. And truly they want to rob us of the happiness and joy that we all constantly yearn to find in our lives.  

But our only collective ability as a nation to push back is our protests. Peaceful protests. As Renee and Alex did.

But peaceful protests? Because they are the perfect power to shame the cowardice of those that believe guns and force are the only true authority. Fortunately, our last hope and fiercest ally is our Constitution, which gives us the power — and the right — to protest. 

How much more peaceful can you get when you hear Renee Good’s last words, “I’m not mad at you, Dude.” I may be mad at the system, the government, the powers of unknown people pulling the strings but not you personally. “Dude.” Peaceful to the last word.

Yet, what becomes lost in the frantic pace of hair-trigger news cycles, of officials declaring impetuous damnations alongside johnny-on-the spot podcasters spouting their split-second opinions are the two human beings who have lost their lives.

How habituated we’ve become as we instantly devour their instant obituaries. The sum of their lives declared in less than 10 seconds of cellphone video. They haven’t just lost their lives.  They’ve lost all of their lives. And now we watch over and over again as their death is re-revealed, re-churned, re-evaluated, and re-consumed. In that endless repetition, we forget the meaning of life itself.

We must remember that Renee and Alex believed in their communities, in the purpose of their work, in the happiness of their loves and lives, and in the dignity and curiosity of life itself. They were singular individuals who did not deserve to die at the end of a gun barrel for any reason, ever.

How fitting that Renee was a poet. Sometimes in confronting the massiveness of loss in our lives, we look to our poetry and our psalms, our hymns and our lullabies, to find a moment of solace in our communal grief, and to remember Renee and Alex, for what they gave us in life.

Yet, at this moment, I cannot escape the reality of what was taken from them so soon, so violently and so forever. They were exceptionally courageous and normal people, and for that reason, I must remember them through a poem to explain to me, and others, the unexplainable. 

I dream of this not happening. 

I dream this day and night.

For none of this is real.

And none of this is right.

I dream of these sons and daughters

who now will not go home,

and dream of their mothers and fathers,

who now must stand alone.

I dream of all the flowers that they will never hold —

the kisses never shared again, the secrets to not be told.

I dream of all the sunsets that for them will never set,

I dream of all the love they gave and now they must forget.

I dream of all their dinners

with wine to never spill,

or books to read, or bread to break

or babies to be held.

I dream of each one still reaching 

in the middle of the night,

for a hand that needs another 

to stop a nightmare’s flight.

I dream of them not dreaming, 

which I could never do,

for how can you not dream a dream

that never will come true.

I dream of this not happening.

I dream this day and night.

For none of this is real

And none of this is right. 

Carew Papritz is the award-winning author of “The Legacy Letters,” who inspires kids to read through his “I Love to Read” and the “First-Ever Book Signing” YouTube series.

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Gay Treasury Secretary’s silence on LGBTQ issues shows he is scum

Scott Bessent is a betrayal to the community

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Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We all know the felon in the White House is basically a POS. He is an evil, deranged, excuse for a man, out only for himself. But what is just as sad for me is the members of the LGBTQ community serving in his administration who are willing to stand by silently, while he screws the community in so many ways. The leader, with his silence on these issues, is the highest ranking “out” gay ever appointed to the Cabinet; the current secretary of the treasury, the scum who goes by the name, Scott Bessent. 

Bessent has an interesting background based on his Wikipedia page. He is from South Carolina and is what I would call obscenely wealthy. According to his financial assets disclosure to the U.S. Office of Government Ethics, Bessent’s net worth was at least $521 million as of Dec. 28, 2024; his actual net worth is speculated to be around $600 million. He married John Freeman, a former New York City prosecutor, in 2011. They have two children, born through surrogacy. I often wonder why guys like Bessent conveniently forget how much they owe to the activists in the LGBTQ community who fought for the right for them to marry and have those children. Two additional interesting points in the Wikipedia post are Bessent reportedly has a close friendship with Donald Trump’s brother Robert, whose ex-wife, Blaine Trump, is the godmother of his daughter. The other is disgraced member of the U.S. House of Representatives, John Jenrette, is his uncle.  

Bessent has stood silent during all the administrations attacks on the LGBTQ community. What does he fear? This administration has kicked members of the trans community out of the military. Those who bravely risked their lives for our country. The administration’s policies attacking them has literally put their lives in danger. This administration supports removing books about the LGBTQ community from libraries, and at one point even removed information from the Pentagon website on the Enola Gay, the plane that dropped the first atomic bomb, thinking it might refer to a gay person. It was actually named after Enola Gay Tibbets, the mother of the pilot, Col. Paul Tibbets. That is how dumb they are. Bessent stood silent during WorldPride while countries around the world told their LGBTQ citizens to avoid coming to the United States, as it wouldn’t be safe for them, because of the felon’s policies. 

Now the administration has desecrated the one national monument saluting the LGBTQ community, Stonewall, in New York City, by ordering the removal of the rainbow flag. The monument honors the people who get credit for beginning the fight for equality that now allows Bessent, and his husband and children, to live their lives to the fullest. That was before this administration he serves came into office. I hope his children will grow up understanding how disgusting their father’s lack of action was. That they learn the history of the LGBTQ community and understand the guts it took for a college student Zach Wahls, now running for the U.S. Senate from Iowa, to speak out for his “two moms” in the Iowa State Legislature in 2011, defending their right to marry.  

Bessent is sadly representative of the slew of gays in the administration, all remaining silent on the attacks on the community. They are mostly members of the Log Cabin Republicans who have given up on their principles, if they ever had any, to be subservient to the felon, and the fascists around him, all for a job. 

There are so many like them who supported the felon in the last election. Some who believed in Project 2025, others who didn’t bother to read it. Many continue to stand with him, with the sycophants in the Congress, and the incompetents and fascists in the administration, as they work to destroy our country and end the democracy that has served us so well for 250 years. To keep out all immigrants from a nation of immigrants. They all seem to forget it was immigrants who built our country, who fought against a king, and won. These sycophants now support the man who wants to be king. Who openly says, “I am president I can do anything only based on my own morality,” which history clearly shows us he has none. 

I believe we will survive these horrendous times in American history. We have fought a king before and won. We have kept our country alive and thriving through a civil war. We the people will defeat the felon and his minions, along with the likes of those who stood by silently like Scott Bessent. They seem to forget “Silence = Death.” 

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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Unconventional love: Or, fuck it, let’s choose each other again

On Valentine’s Day, the kind of connection worth celebrating

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(Image by kotoffei/Bigstock)

There’s a moment at the end of “Love Jones” — the greatest Black love movie of the 21st century — when Darius stands in the rain, stripped of bravado, stripped of pride, stripped of all the cleverness that once protected him.

“I want us to be together again,” he says. “For as long as we can be.”

Not forever. Not happily ever after. Just again. And for as long as we can. That line alone dismantles the fairy tale.

“Love Jones” earns its place in the canon not because it is flawless, but because it is honest. It gave us Black love without sanitizing it. Black intellect without pretension. Black romance without guarantees. It told the truth: that love between two whole people is often clumsy, ego-driven, tender, frustrating, intoxicating—and still worth choosing.

That same emotional truth lives at the end of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” my favorite movie of all time. Joel and Clementine, having erased each other, accidentally fall back into love. When they finally listen to the tapes that reveal exactly how badly they hurt one another, Clementine does something radical: she tells the truth.

“I’m not perfect,” she says. “I’ll get bored. I’ll feel trapped. That’s what happens with me.”

She doesn’t ask Joel to deny reality. She invites him into it. Joel’s response isn’t poetic. It isn’t eloquent. It’s not even particularly brave. He shrugs.

“Ok.”

That “OK” is one of the most honest declarations of love ever written. Because it says: I hear you. I see the ending. I know the risk. And I’m choosing you anyway.

Both films are saying the same thing in different languages. Nina and Darius. Clementine and Joel. Artists and thinkers. Romantics who hurt each other not because they don’t care — but because they do. Deeply. Imperfectly. Humanly.

They argue. They retreat. They miscommunicate. They choose pride over vulnerability and distance over repair. Love doesn’t fail because they’re careless — it fails because love is not clean. 

What makes “Love Jones” the greatest Black love movie of the 21st century is that it refuses to lie about this. It doesn’t sell permanence. It sells presence. It doesn’t promise destiny. It offers choice.

And at the end — just like “Eternal Sunshine” — the choice is made again, this time with eyes wide open.

When Nina asks, “How do we do this?” Darius doesn’t pretend to know.

“I don’t know.”

That’s the point.

Love isn’t a blueprint. It’s an agreement to walk forward without one.

I recently asked my partner if he believed in soul mates. He said no—without hesitation. When he asked me, I told him I believe you can have more than one soul mate, romantic or platonic. That a soul mate isn’t someone who saves you — it’s someone whose soul recognizes yours at a particular moment in time.

He paused. Then said, “OK. With those caveats, I believe.”

That felt like a Joel shrug. A grown one.

We’ve been sold a version of love that collapses under scrutiny. Fairy tales promised permanence without effort. Celebrity marriages promised aspiration without truth. And then reality — messy, public, human—stepped in. Will and Jada didn’t kill love for me. They clarified it.

No relationship is perfect. No love is untouched by disappointment. No bond survives without negotiation, humility, and repair. What matters isn’t whether love lasts forever. What matters is whether, when confronted with truth, you still say yes.

“Love Jones” ends in the rain. “Eternal Sunshine” ends in a hallway. No swelling orchestras. No guarantees. Just two people standing at the edge of uncertainty saying: Fuck it. I love you. Let’s do it again. 

That’s not naïve love. That’s courageous love.

And on Valentine’s Day — of all days — that’s the kind worth celebrating.

Randal C. Smith is a Chicago-based attorney and writer focusing on labor and employment law, civil rights, and administrative governance.

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