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EXCLUSIVE: Rep. Steny Hoyer’s daughter comes out as a lesbian

Hemmer seeks role in defending Md. marriage law

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Stefany Hoyer Hemmer (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Stefany Hoyer Hemmer (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Stefany Hoyer Hemmer has two reasons to come out publicly as a lesbian: her father’s recent endorsement of marriage equality and the likely upcoming battle at the ballot in Maryland over same-sex marriage.

“My father, as you know, just came out in support of gay marriage,” Hemmer said. “The momentum in Maryland right now for the adoption of the gay marriage law is fast-paced. I’m 43 years of age, and I’ve been gay my whole life and I just figured this is a good time to lend my name to the cause.”

In an exclusive interview with the Washington Blade, Hemmer — one of three daughters of House Democratic Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) — made for the first time a public statement that she’s a lesbian. She said a limited number of people — including family and some friends — knew she was gay, but she hadn’t yet made a public statement about her sexual orientation.

“This was not his idea at all,” Hemmer said. “It was mine completely, but he’s very supportive. I talked to him before I did this, and he’s on board. Obviously, it’s a little nerve-racking for me to do this, but there’s something inside of me that’s telling me I need to do it.”

Hemmer said she consulted her father before making a public statement that she is gay and he was supportive. The decision comes on the heels of Hoyer’s announcement in favor of marriage equality. The Maryland lawmaker’s statement came just days after President Obama’s endorsement of marriage equality.

“Because I believe that equal treatment is a central tenet of our nation, I believe that extending the definition of marriage to committed relationships between two people, irrespective of their sex, is the right thing to do and will not, in any way, undermine the institution of marriage so important to our society nor impose a threat to any individual marriage,” Hoyer said. “It will, however, extend the respect due to every one of our fellow citizens that we would want for ourselves and our children.”

Hemmer said reading her father’s endorsement of same-sex marriage inspired her to come out publicly and do more for the LGBT community — even though she said she’s always known her father supported LGBT rights.

“I’m personally an advocate, and I’m certainly not one to hide my sexuality, but I’ve never out there with it politically,” Hemmer said. “So, I think when my dad actually came out with a statement, it triggered a want in me to further the cause, and I think that he’s powerful enough, and I’m frankly, smart enough, to do it. So, yeah, that was really the impetus.”

Hemmer said she knew her father wrote the statement himself because it was his style of writing and she commended him afterwards, but had no knowledge beforehand that he would adopt that position or issue those words.

“We had a brief [conversation] because we were at a birthday party for my grandson, but I said, ‘Good job coming out for marriage equality!'” Hemmer said. “He said, ‘Thank you, thank you.’ We just kind of had a brief conversation about how it’s been a long time coming, and he was happy to have been able to do that.”

A registered psychiatric nurse who works as a clinical nurse liaison for Maryland’s Department of Health & Mental Hygiene in the mental hygiene administration, Hemmer has been living with her partner of 18 months on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Although Hemmer declined to offer her partner’s name or age, Hemmer said she’s a nurse as well and they live together in Queen Anne, Md., with three cats and a chihuahua.

“We’re pretty normal, really,” Hemmer said. “Nothing is exciting and grand other than the day-to-day stuff. I have a pretty normal kind of existence.”

Hemmer was once married to a man about 20 years ago named Tim Hemmer, who’s an electrician and works at the Smithsonian. Hemmer said she struggled with her sexual orientation and entered into the marriage as a way to assert she wasn’t a lesbian, but the couple divorced when she was 23. Out of that marriage, Hemmer had a daughter, Judith Gray, who’s now 25 and has young children of her own.

In the wake of her father’s endorsement of same-sex marriage and the possible referendum on the state’s recently signed same-sex marriage law, Hemmer said she’s “committed” to taking a role to preserve marriage equality in Maryland. Opponents of same-sex marriage in Maryland have already submitted 113,000 signatures to put marriage equality on the ballot, which far exceeds the necesary 55,736 names, so the initiative will likely be on the ballot.

Hemmer said she hasn’t previously been involved in LGBT advocacy — and hasn’t even made any donations to any LGBT rights groups —but has already reached out to the Human Rights Campaign to get involved with the Maryland effort and expects to work with her father to speak out for marriage equality. Hemmer said she would consider getting married in Maryland if the law survives the referendum, but has no immediate plans to tie the knot.

“I think my father is going to lend himself to the campaign as well,” Hemmer said. “However, I think I will initially be an adjunct to him. I will go places with him and maybe speak, but I think that role will evolve. Basically, I’m here and what do you think I can do for you. You guys are the experts, you tell me what I can do. I think this helps. I think talking to them, going out, being visible.”

Even though Hoyer delivered the statement in favor of marriage equality just last month, the lawmaker has been known for his support for LGBT rights. During the legislative battle to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Hoyer took the lead in the House and submitted standalone legislation to the floor along with former Rep. Patrick Murphy to repeal the military’s gay ban during the lame duck session of the 111th Congress.

Hemmer said she’s “very proud” of her father’s role in repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and predicted his support for LGBT rights would continue, but said that effort didn’t inspire her as much as her father’s support for marriage equality

“Everything he does in terms of gay rights and civil rights really makes me proud,” Hemmer said. “So, I think that he will continue to do that, and I think that he will continue to lead in the equality fight in Maryland with the referendum.”

Hemmer said her father sometimes consults her about legislative issues — including LGBT issues — but acknowledged he has numerous consultants working for him. She said she had a conversation with him about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal at the time, but didn’t immediately recall how the conversation went other than she gathered her father thought it was an unjust law.

House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

In a statement issued to the Blade, Hoyer said he is proud that his daughter intends to add her voice to the Maryland fight.

“I’m pleased that Stefany is adding her voice to those across Maryland and the country calling for marriage equality,” Hoyer said. “This is about ensuring all families receive equal treatment under the law. As more people speak out, the more momentum this effort gains to give every family the dignity and respect they deserve.”

Hemmer said she never explicitly told her father that she was gay, although she had spoken with her mother, Judy Pickett Hoyer, about being a lesbian. In 2003, Hemmer had one of her sisters break the news and later showed up at his house with a girlfriend.

“He was very welcoming,” Hemmer said. “Of course, my sister had prepped him. He was not the least bit shaken or upset and very pleasantly just a nice guy. He’s always been respectful of my privacy, so unless I initiate a conversation with him about pretty much anything that’s private, he doesn’t get into my personal business, which I respect. But he’s been great.”

Hoyer isn’t the first senior member of Congress to have an openly LGBT member of his family. Dick Gephardt, a former House Democratic leader, has a daughter, Chrissy Gephardt, who came out prior to his 2004 presidential campaign. Hemmer said she has seen Chrissy Gephardt speak in 2005 at Camp Rehoboth, an LGBT community organization based in Rehoboth Beach, Del.

A number of Republican public officials have LGBT family members. Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.) has a trans son, Rodrigo Lehtinen, who’s been involved with the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force and its “Creating Change” conference. Former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich has a half-sister, Candace Gingrich-Jones, who has worked with the Human Rights Campaign and has criticized him for his anti-gay views. Former Vice President Dick Cheney has a lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney.

Even though Hemmer said coming out is “a little scary” for her, she doesn’t think there’ll be any serious backlash for either her or her father as a result.

“And if there is, it’s going to be from people who clearly don’t matter,” Hemmer said. “The Republican Party might have something to say about it that’s not very nice. But what am I going to do? It is what it is.”

In fact, Hemmer said she hopes her coming out will be a positive step in helping to preserve to right to marry for gay couples in Maryland that will build upon her father’s support for same-sex marriage.

“I’m doing this because I think that the time is now to do it,” Hemmer said. “I was not the impetus for him; he was the impetus for me. And I just want to make sure that people understand that. Having said that, he told me the other night, “I’ll support whatever you do.” He knows that it’s important. That’s the way I feel. It’s an opportunity for me to make a difference, and that’s what I hope to do.”

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The White House

Four states to ignore new Title IX rules protecting transgender students

Biden administration last Friday released final regulations

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March for Queer and Trans Youth Autonomy in D.C. in 2023. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

BY ERIN REED | Last Friday, the Biden administration released its final Title IX rules, which include protections for LGBTQ students by clarifying that Title IX forbids discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. 

The rule change could have a significant impact as it would supersede bathroom bans and other discriminatory policies that have become increasingly common in Republican states within the U.S. 

As of Thursday morning, however, officials in at least four states — Oklahoma, Louisiana, Florida, and South Carolina — have directed schools to ignore the regulations, potentially setting up a federal showdown that may ultimately end up in a protracted court battle in the lead-up to the 2024 elections.

Louisiana State Superintendent of Education Cade Brumley was the first to respond, decrying the fact that the new Title IX regulations could block teachers and other students from exercising what has been dubbed by some a “right to bully” transgender students by using their old names and pronouns intentionally. 

Asserting that Title IX law does not protect trans and queer students, Brumley states that schools “should not alter policies or procedures at this time.” Critically, several courts have ruled that trans and queer students are protected by Title IX, including the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in a recent case in West Virginia.

In South Carolina, Schools Supt. Ellen Weaver wrote in a letter that providing protections for trans and LGBTQ students under Title IX “would rescind 50 years of progress and equality of opportunity by putting girls and women at a disadvantage in the educational arena,” apparently leaving trans kids out of her definition of those who deserve progress and equality of opportunity. 

She then directed schools to ignore the new directive while waiting for court challenges. While South Carolina does not have a bathroom ban or statewide “Don’t Say Gay or Trans” law, such bills continue to be proposed in the state.

Responding to the South Carolina letter, Chase Glenn of Alliance For Full Acceptance stated, “While Supt. Weaver may not personally support the rights of LGBTQ+ students, she has the responsibility as the top school leader in our state to ensure that all students have equal rights and protections, and a safe place to learn and be themselves. The flagrant disregard shown for the Title IX rule tells me that our superintendent unfortunately does not have the best interests of all students in mind.”

Florida Education Commissioner Manny Diaz also joined in instructing schools not to implement Title IX regulations. In a letter issued to area schools, Diaz stated that the new Title IX regulations were tantamount to “gaslighting the country into believing that biological sex no longer has any meaning.” 

Governor Ron DeSantis approved of the letter and stated that Florida “will not comply.” Florida has notably been the site of some of the most viciously anti-queer and anti-trans legislation in recent history, including a “Don’t Say Gay or Trans” law that was used to force a trans female teacher to go by “Mr.”

State Education Supt. Ryan Walters of Oklahoma was the latest to echo similar sentiments. Walters has recently appointed the right-wing media figure Chaya Raichik of Libs of TikTok to an advisory role “to improve school safety,” and notably, Raichik has posed proudly with papers accusing her of instigating bomb threats with her incendiary posts about LGBTQ people in classrooms.

The Title IX policies have been universally applauded by large LGBTQ rights organizations in the U.S. Lambda Legal, a key figure in fighting anti-LGBTQ legislation nationwide, said that the regulations “clearly cover LGBTQ+ students, as well as survivors and pregnant and parenting students across race and gender identity.” The Human Rights Campaign also praised the rule, stating, “rule will be life-changing for so many LGBTQ+ youth and help ensure LGBTQ+ students can receive the same educational experience as their peers: Going to dances, safely using the restroom, and writing stories that tell the truth about their own lives.”

The rule is slated to go into effect Aug. 1, pending any legal challenges.

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Erin Reed is a transgender woman (she/her pronouns) and researcher who tracks anti-LGBTQ+ legislation around the world and helps people become better advocates for their queer family, friends, colleagues, and community. Reed also is a social media consultant and public speaker.

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The preceding article was first published at Erin In The Morning and is republished with permission.

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Pennsylvania

Malcolm Kenyatta could become the first LGBTQ statewide elected official in Pa.

State lawmaker a prominent Biden-Harris 2024 reelection campaign surrogate

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President Joe Biden, Malcolm Kenyatta, and Vice President Kamala Harris (Official White House Photo by Adam Schultz)

Following his win in the Democratic primary contest on Wednesday, Pennsylvania state Rep. Malcolm Kenyatta, who is running for auditor general, is positioned to potentially become the first openly LGBTQ elected official serving the commonwealth.

In a statement celebrating his victory, LGBTQ+ Victory Fund President Annise Parker said, “Pennsylvanians trust Malcolm Kenyatta to be their watchdog as auditor general because that’s exactly what he’s been as a legislator.”

“LGBTQ+ Victory Fund is all in for Malcolm, because we know he has the experience to win this race and carry on his fight for students, seniors and workers as Pennsylvania’s auditor general,” she said.

Parker added, “LGBTQ+ Americans are severely underrepresented in public office and the numbers are even worse for Black LGBTQ+ representation. I look forward to doing everything I can to mobilize LGBTQ+ Pennsylvanians and our allies to get out and vote for Malcolm this November so we can make history.” 

In April 2023, Kenyatta was appointed by the White House to serve as director of the Presidential Advisory Commission on Advancing Educational Equity, Excellence and Economic Opportunity for Black Americans.

He has been an active surrogate in the Biden-Harris 2024 reelection campaign.

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The White House

White House debuts action plan targeting pollutants in drinking water

Same-sex couples face higher risk from environmental hazards

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President Joe Biden speaks with reporters following an Earth Day event on April 22, 2024 (Screen capture: Forbes/YouTube)

Headlining an Earth Day event in Northern Virginia’s Prince William Forest on Monday, President Joe Biden announced the disbursement of $7 billion in new grants for solar projects and warned of his Republican opponent’s plans to roll back the progress his administration has made toward addressing the harms of climate change.

The administration has led more than 500 programs geared toward communities most impacted by health and safety hazards like pollution and extreme weather events.

In a statement to the Washington Blade on Wednesday, Brenda Mallory, chair of the White House Council on Environmental Quality, said, “President Biden is leading the most ambitious climate, conservation, and environmental justice agenda in history — and that means working toward a future where all people can breathe clean air, drink clean water, and live in a healthy community.”

“This Earth Week, the Biden-Harris Administration announced $7 billion in solar energy projects for over 900,000 households in disadvantaged communities while creating hundreds of thousands of clean energy jobs, which are being made more accessible by the American Climate Corps,” she said. “President Biden is delivering on his promise to help protect all communities from the impacts of climate change — including the LGBTQI+ community — and that we leave no community behind as we build an equitable and inclusive clean energy economy for all.”

Recent milestones in the administration’s climate policies include the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s issuance on April 10 of legally enforceable standard for detecting and treating drinking water contaminated with polyfluoroalkyl substances.

“This rule sets health safeguards and will require public water systems to monitor and reduce the levels of PFAS in our nation’s drinking water, and notify the public of any exceedances of those levels,” according to a White House fact sheet. “The rule sets drinking water limits for five individual PFAS, including the most frequently found PFOA and PFOS.”

The move is expected to protect 100 million Americans from exposure to the “forever chemicals,” which have been linked to severe health problems including cancers, liver and heart damage, and developmental impacts in children.

An interactive dashboard from the United States Geological Survey shows the concentrations of polyfluoroalkyl substances in tapwater are highest in urban areas with dense populations, including cities like New York and Los Angeles.

During Biden’s tenure, the federal government has launched more than 500 programs that are geared toward investing in the communities most impacted by climate change, whether the harms may arise from chemical pollutants, extreme weather events, or other causes.

New research by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law found that because LGBTQ Americans are likelier to live in coastal areas and densely populated cities, households with same-sex couples are likelier to experience the adverse effects of climate change.

The report notes that previous research, including a study that used “national Census data on same-sex households by census tract combined with data on hazardous air pollutants (HAPs) from the National Air Toxics Assessment” to model “the relationship between same-sex households and risk of cancer and respiratory illness” found “that higher prevalence of same-sex households is associated with higher risks for these diseases.”

“Climate change action plans at federal, state, and local levels, including disaster preparedness, response, and recovery plans, must be inclusive and address the specific needs and vulnerabilities facing LGBT people,” the Williams Institute wrote.

With respect to polyfluoroalkyl substances, the EPA’s adoption of new standards follows other federal actions undertaken during the Biden-Harris administration to protect firefighters and healthcare workers, test for and clean up pollution, and phase out or reduce use of the chemicals in fire suppressants, food packaging, and federal procurement.

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