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Queery: Hamid Lagder

The local artist answers 20 gay questions

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Hamid Lagder (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Hamid Lagder knows four languages — his native Arabic, the French he studied in his native Marrakech, Morocco, the Russian he mastered during his seven years there and, of course, English. He’s mostly lived in Washington since winning a Green Card lottery and arriving here in 2005.

Lagder doesn’t claim to have any special affinity for mastering new languages. He just adapts to where he is and his needs at the time. What he’s most passionate about is painting. He works by day as an IT manager for an e-commerce company but has been painting since he was a child.

“I could paint all day long,” Lagder, 45, says. “Maybe if I still lived in Morocco I could do it full time but the situation there is different. Here you have to pay bills and everything.”

He’s having his first exhibition Thursday at Puro Café Bar & Lounge (1529 Wisconsin Ave., N.W.) from 7-10 p.m. (one night only). About 12 of the acrylics on canvas — landscapes and abstract — will be on display. More information is at hlagder.com.

“There are so many things you can express in art,” he says. “A lot of these works tell a story.”

Lagder says it wasn’t particularly hard for him to come to terms with being gay, though he’s not out to his family in Morocco, where he visits once or twice per year.

“The gay life you have in Europe and America just doesn’t exist there,” he says. “They would probably think it was just something to be cured. They wouldn’t understand at all.”

Lagder, who loves Western pop culture, enjoys painting and traveling in his free time. He’s single and lives on H Street. (Blade photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out to friends since I moved to this country seven years ago.  The hardest person to tell was a close straight friend.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Wanda Sykes. Everything she says and does makes me laugh, every gesture.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Sax is one of the best nightspots in D.C. I love the interior and the music. It’s just what D.C. needs — an upscale lounge on 11 and H streets, N.W.

Describe your dream wedding.

I’d skimp on the wedding and splurge on the honeymoon! I love to travel so I’d want to go somewhere I haven’t been yet, like Buenos Aires.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

The alarming decline in non-supernatural characters on HBO’s “True Blood,” and the state of the economy.

What historical outcome would you change?

They should never have cancelled “Knots Landing.” And I wish Princess Diana was still alive.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The recent deaths of gone-too-soon Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.

On what do you insist?

Honesty. And no ice in my Diet Coke.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

On Facebook, I posted one of the paintings that will be featured in my upcoming art show.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“50 Shades of Gay”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I’d make doctors’ appointments for all of my hot straight friends.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I was raised Muslim and while I am not, obviously, adhering strictly to that faith I do believe in God/Allah.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Keep up the good work!

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Certainly not for fun. Who is asking me to walk across hot coals anyway?

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That all gay men in D.C. are pretentious.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Paying taxes.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I value my friends but they refuse to sit still on my mantle. I’d love to be recognized for my art someday.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That washboard abs don’t come easy. That in the blink of an eye I’d be 45.

Why Washington?

I have great friends here and I think D.C. is one of the greatest cities on the planet. There is so much to see and do and learn here! And I love the art museums, of course.

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Photos

PHOTOS: World Pride March

LGBTQ rights demonstration held in Amsterdam

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A scene from the 2026 World Pride March in Amsterdam. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The 2026 World Pride March was held on Saturday, Aug. 8 in Amsterdam. Tens of thousands of participants marched from Martin Luther Kingpark to the grounds of the Pride Village at Museumplein.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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PHOTOS: Daddy Issues at Kiki

Evry Pleasure, Tiara Missou-Sidora, Indiana Bones perform

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Evry Pleasure performs at the 'Daddy Issues' drag show at Kiki on Wednesday. (Washington Blade photo by Landon Shackelford)

The weekly drag show “Daddy Issues” was held at Kiki on Wednesday, Aug. 5. Performers included Evry Pleasure, Indiana Bones and Tiara Missou-Sidora.

(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)

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Books

Something’s off about Dad. When is it time to step in?

‘When Memory Fades’ can help when families face dementia

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(Book cover image courtesy of St. Martin's Essentials)

‘When Memory Fades’
By Nathaniel Chin, MD
c.2026, St. Martin’s Essentials
$30/422 pages

Mom called you in a panic the other day.

She’d lost her keys and by the time you arrived to help, she’d found them. In the refrigerator.

These kinds of things keep happening, not often but often enough, and you don’t know quite what to worry about. But in the new book “When Memory Fades” by Nathaniel Chin, MD, you’ll learn about the journey ahead, for both of you.

You can’t remember why you walked into a room. You got lost last week, going to the bank. Popular wisdom says that things like that are normal as we age, but Chin says that’s not true – although the answer may not be a worst-case scenario, either. Yes, memory problems could just be signs of stress, dehydration, or lack of sleep – or is it time to see a doctor?

Chin says maybe, yes.

He was working his way through medical residency when his father, a geriatrician in Madison, Wisc., was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Chin, now a geriatrician, was blindsided, but that diagnosis also changed his life.

Here, he writes about the brain, and how Alzheimer’s and dementia are diagnosed, explaining that dementia has many faces and, depending on a doctor’s evaluation, memory problems might be slowed or improved. He shares his father’s illness with readers, but he also writes about his mother, a steadfast, steady caretaker.

Her story reminds reader-guardians to care for themselves, too.

Know how to talk the talk, so that you can have “a more productive” conversation with your doctor. Understand that there’s nothing “normal” about dementia or Alzheimer’s. Know the statistics – African Americans are affected with dementia twice as much as whites – and know how to lower your risks. Learn here what questions to ask, how to break the news to everyone, and any legal matters that will be important soon. And know how to tend to you.

Says Chin, “The best action you can take is to educate yourself… The more you understand, the better equipped you are to make sound judgments.”

Something’s off about Dad, just a lot of little things that don’t add up. When is it time to step in? “When Memory Fades” can help you decide.

Wise, wide-spread, comprehensive, and compassionately helpful, this is a book you can read and then take it to the doctor with your loved one. It’s a book that makes sense when nothing else does, and its biggest feature is that it smoothly transitions from easy-to-grasp science and charts, to gentle coaching for caregivers. Author Nathaniel Chin, MD writes with storytelling, humility, grace, and experience from both sides of the Alzheimer’s/dementia issue, and his words are reassuring but also urgent. Learn, but don’t wait, he says. Know how to safeguard yourself. See your doctor, and don’t fear testing. Watch for signs of depression. And never, ever stop asking for help.

Read those last seven words, and find “When Memory Fades” now. It’s a book to have on your shelf, whether you’re 45 or 95 because, as you’ll see, dementia happens and knowledge is key.

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