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Queery: Natalie Moss

The CAMP Rehoboth volunteer answers 20 gay questions

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Natalie Moss (Photo courtesy Natalie Moss)

Natalie Moss says moving to Rehoboth Beach, Del., was “always in my master plan.” It just ended up happening a little sooner than she originally thought. And that’s fine by her.

The D.C. native and longtime resident had spent summers at the beach for decades and had her accounting clients — she’s a CPA — established enough that she no longer needed face time with them in Washington. Shortly after Sept. 11, 2001, she made the move.

“I’m so glad I did because if I’d waited, with the housing market the way it was, I never could have afforded it,” she says. “Everything worked out just right.”

The 64-year-old lesbian spent years as a buyer for women’s clothing stores and running an ice cream shop in Rockville. Business was slow in the winter months, so she did taxes and went back to school. Now she spends a lot of her time as a “full-time volunteer” as treasurer for CAMP Rehoboth. She’s been working feverishly again this year as co-chair of its annual Sundance event.

This year’s incarnation — dubbed “Legend of the Silver Rainbow” — is this weekend and features an auction, cocktails and party over two nights (Saturday and Sunday) at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center (229 Rehoboth Ave.). Tickets are $80 for both nights or $45 for one. As always, proceeds benefit CAMP Rehoboth Community Center. Details are at camprehoboth.com.

“We could never do it without the help of the entire team,” she says. “I’ve been helping for about 20 years and it’s amazing, we get most of the same people back each year and everybody just kind of falls into a rhythm and knows exactly what needs to be done. They just fall into place and they get it. The whole thing is totally mind blowing.”

Moss and her partner of 20 years, Evelyn, live with their dog Lucilu at the beach. She enjoys spending time at the beach and great food when she’s not volunteering.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out since I was around 27. I really did not have a hard time telling anyone, once I decided to come out. Being gay just became a part of me, like having brown eyes. I never actually told my parents, although my brother did. My mother passed away before we had a real discussion.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Ellen as a public figure.  Steve Elkins and Murray Archibald for what they have achieved in founding and running CAMP Rehoboth.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Coming out in D.C. I loved going to the bars and dancing.  The best was the Grand Central, soon followed by The Other Side. I do not know too much about D.C. now since I have been in Rehoboth for the last 10 years, but in Rehoboth we always loved happy hour at Cloud 9 and the margaritas at Dos Locos.

Describe your dream wedding.

On the beach, perfect weather, tented catered delicious food and drink, surrounded by friends, great music and dancing.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Finding a cure for cancer.  I am a cancer survivor and know so many who are touched by the disease.

What historical outcome would you change?  

Not going to war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our economy would be in much better shape without our dollars going to support wars.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

I have 65 years to choose from! Ellen coming out on TV. And disco, love disco. And Disney World.

On what do you insist?

Honesty

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Invited everyone to Sundance 25th anniversary on Labor Day weekend.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Wine, Women and Song”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Stay the way I am. But I wish they would discover the perfect diet pill.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I am spiritual enough to “thank god” for things, but not sure I believe there is one.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Concentrate on getting the right people representing the states in Congress. No matter who the president is, he cannot get anything done without Congress’s support. Get the bigoted homophobic people out.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My lovely girlfriend.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Overly swishy boys and extreme tattooed dykes.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

The movie “The Children’s Hour” changed my life. That is when it really hit me that I was a lesbian — I was around 13 years old. We have a great film festival here in Rehoboth and we get to see many good LGBT movies every year so I have many current favorites.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Small talk

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I do not really covet any prize.  I just want to be known as a giving, generous and nice person.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish I had come out sooner.  I wasted almost 10 years being in the closet.

Why Rehoboth?

I could go on and on, but the most important thing to me is the gay community and the work that we do at CAMP Rehoboth. If you know about the demographics that have recently been published by the Huffington Post’s “America’s Gayest Neighborhoods,” Rehoboth is ninth most popular for gay men and fifth most popular for lesbians. We have worked very hard to make this a welcoming community where gay and straight work, live and play together.

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Movies

30 years on, ‘The Birdcage’ remains a landmark

A reminder that the only thing required to make a family is love

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Nathan Lane and Robin Williams in ‘The Birdcage.’

In 1996, after the AIDS epidemic had cast its shadow over the gay community for a decade and a half, the breakthrough finally came: the success of antiretroviral medication turned a fatal disease into a manageable and survivable condition — and suddenly, “queer joy” began to feel like a possibility again.

The year 1996 also saw the release of “The Birdcage,” a remake of the farcical French film comedy “La Cage aux Folles,” about a gay couple who attempt to “play it straight” when their son brings his fiancée’s conservative parents over for dinner, starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane — in one of his first (non-animated) film roles — as the couple. It was notable as one of the rare studio films of the era to center on gay characters, and the fact that it was a certified box office hit represented a welcome cultural shift after the years of homophobic stigma fostered by Reagan-era “moral majority” conservatism.

These two landmarks were coincidental, of course, and obviously the significance of the first (though it came a few months later) was, in the scheme of things, far more monumental. Nevertheless, there’s something about the timing that marked a definitive moment in the ongoing struggle for queer acceptance. It was a palpable turn of the tide, a moment in time when we could collectively “unclench”  — and 30 years later, in the midst of a whole new onslaught of conservative bigotry that threatens to erode the progress of the intervening years, it’s a moment worth celebrating, if for no other reason than to remind ourselves of what is possible when we refuse to hide who we are.

That, after all, is the central conflict in “The Birdcage,” just as it was in the earlier French play (by Jean Poiret) and film that inspired it, as well as the hit Broadway musical (“La Cage aux Folles” (adapted by queer writer Harvey Fierstein and queer composer Jerry Herman) that came in between. Set in the famously gay Miami neighborhood of South Beach, it centers on a popular queer nightclub owned by longtime partners Armand (Williams), who runs the business, and Albert (Lane), a flamboyant drag performer known as “Starina” who serves as the club’s headlining act; as a result of a long-ago one-night stand, Armand is father to Val (Dan Futterman), whom the couple have raised together, and who has become engaged to Barbara (Calista Flockhart), the daughter of a prominent conservative senator (Gene Hackman). Fearing that knowledge of his parents’ true relationship will prevent the senator from allowing the marriage, Val convinces Armand and Albert to temporarily “straightwash” themselves for a dinner party with the would-be future in-laws. Naturally, things do not go as planned (this is a farce, after all), but by the end, the gays “save the day,” as they say, by helping the senator and his wife (Dianne Wiest) avoid a scandal, and the kids get to have their wedding, after all.

It’s true that “The Birdcage” has invited criticism from within the community over the years for offering exaggerated stereotypes, especially in its depictions of “femme” characters like Albert and Agador (Hank Azaria), the couple’s Guatemalan housekeeper — and, in more recent times, from younger queer viewers who brand Val as “the real villain” of the movie for his insistence on making his parents pretend to be straight. There’s also the quibble that two of the film’s leading gay characters are played by heterosexual actors (Williams and Azaria) and that neither the writer nor director of the film were queer themselves. We can’t dispute the validity of such positions, but we can certainly suggest that they might be missing the point. 

The director, Mike Nichols, was a man who had transitioned from being a comedian to becoming a celebrated director for both stage and screen, responsible for (among many other films) “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and “The Graduate,” and the script was by Elaine May, his former comedy partner, known for her witty, sophisticated, and savvy screenwriting. Both came with a pedigree that included extensive collaboration with queer performers and creators, and a track record that clearly showed their dedication for humanity and truth over the social constructs they repeatedly undermined with shrewd observational satire.

Williams, known then and now for his manic, over-the-top cartoonishness, plays Armand with complete sincerity, balancing his signature lunacy (like the classic “Fosse, Fosse” moment as he directs a new act for the club) with a deeply considered emotional solidity that never strikes a false note; and Azaria, whose performance became an instantly iconic fan favorite of outrageous femme-boy camp, is lovable precisely because his iteration of the cliché is so completely un-self-conscious, and is still beloved arguably as much for this as for his decades of voice work on “The Simpsons” — not because he is ridiculous (he is, and hilariously so) but because he is so recognizably real. 

As for Lane, Albert’s character is explicitly written as a “diva,” the kind of gay male “show queen” stereotype that never quite offends because we all know someone — or are someone — who fits that profile to a tee; underneath it all is a person determined to live life on their own terms, and it makes his emergence as an eleventh-hour hero/heroine all the more satisfying. Let’s face it, when the chips are down, none of us could ask for a better mom than he turns out to be.

Of course, the participation of incomparable actors Hackman and Wiest is invaluable, allowing even their stodgy characters enough grace to keep them from coming off as complete buffoons (though Hackman’s reprehensible senator, appropriately enough, comes close); for good measure, there’s even the delicious Christine Baranski as Val’s biological mother.

All those performances — along with the fabulous explosion of Miami decor in the scenic design, the depictions of vibrant queer nightlife, and a soundtrack that includes both spicy nuggets of iconic club music and a handful of songs by the great gay genius Stephen Sondheim — are enough to make “The Birdcage” a classic, but the reason it continues to resonate with queer joy emanates from the material itself.

Wrapped up in all the absurdity of its humor, “La Cage aux Folles” (in all its forms) proffers a simple story in which — despite misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and all the various kerfuffles which erupt throughout — everyone shows up for each other. It’s a portrait of a household built on love, about a family willing to leap hurdles and place the happiness of those dear to them above their own inconveniences. In the end, the queerness is really not the point; but the fact that it’s a queer family who embodies these values (and a messy one, at that) is, as the queer expression goes, everything.

Thirty years ago, “The Birdcage” was a fun celebration; today, in a world that once more feels weaponized against queerness, it’s more than that: It’s a great film that reminds us that our greatest victories arise from being ourselves, unapologetically — and that the only thing required to make a family is unconditional love.

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Out & About

Whitman-Walker to host legal services workshop

Event held virtually and in-person at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center

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(Photo by fizkes/Bigstock)

Whitman Walker Health Center will host a legal services workshop on Tuesday, July 21 at 3 p.m. virtually and in-person at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. 

Attorneys from WWH will give an overview of the free legal services they offer and discuss recent challenges. WWH meets clients where they are to address the issues they are facing, such as:

  • Immigration relief based on LGBTQ+/HIV status
  • Public benefits, including Social Security Disability denials
  • Appealing health insurance denials of Gender Affirming Care
  • Name changes and ID Document update

Register online to attend virtually. To attend in person, no registration is required.

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Calendar

Calendar: July 17-23

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, July 17

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Social in the City” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7 p.m. at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Saturday, July 18

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host “Sunday Supper on Saturday” at 2 p.m. It’s an opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and invest in something meaningful, and enjoy delicious food, genuine laughter, and conversations that spark connection and inspiration. For more details, visit the Center’s website.

LGBTQ People of Color will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ people of color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. There will be all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.

Sunday, July 19

“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets are $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite

Monday, July 20

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, July 21

Center Bi+ Roundtable will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is an opportunity for people to gather in order to discuss issues related to bisexuality or as bi individuals in a private setting. Visit Facebook or Meetup for more information.

Wednesday, July 22

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Asexual and Aromantic Group will meet at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. For more details, email [email protected]

Thursday, July 23

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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