Arts & Entertainment
Welcome to the jungle
Witty author shares retail experiences in new book

āReturn to The Big Fancyā
By Freeman Hall
Adams Media
$22.95
272 pages
The holidays are coming. That means youāll need a little extra.
Extra time to go gift shopping, for sure, and extra closet space in which to hide packages. More importantly, youāll need extra money for all that buying, which means youāre looking for an extra job.
There are a lot of openings at the mall, but be careful what you ask for. According to Freeman Hall in his new book āReturn to The Big Fancy,ā that part-time gig youāll grab might just be extra irritation.
Freeman Hall figured heād done his time at The Big Fancy, an upscale department store chain with a Burbank location. Hall worked the āHandbag Jungle,ā where he dealt with nasty ācustys,ā greedy co-workers and a store manager he called Suzy Satan. He put up with them all while bringing home an insultingly small paycheck so when he got the chance, he escaped to pursue his dream of being a screenwriter.
But screenwriting didnāt pay the bills. Working at The Big Fancy did. Shortly after leaving, it was back to retail hell at Hall.
The new department manager of Handbag (never āpurseā) Jungle was a wonderful woman Hall calls Maude and, since she knew about his past at The Big Fancy, she was happy to hire him. As a former handbag manager, Hall brought experience to the Jungle. He also brought back his best customers.
As for Hall, everything was familiar and depressing from the start.
Forbidden to use an elevator or mall entrance, employees were forced to climb several flights of stairs to get to work. Every day began with ear-splitting announcements and admonishments over the PA system from Suzy Satan to rally (or annoy) the troops. Since The Big Fancy paid its sales associates in commissions, āsharkingā (stealing customers) was common and destroyed any sense of teamwork. Rules were loose (unless you broke them) and commissions could be retroactively withdrawn, even years later. The pressure on managers and associates was intense. Adding to it was that customers were always right ā even when they werenāt ā and discount rats always got their way.
It was frustrating. It was irritating. And it mightāve meant a completely horrible year for Hall, if it wasnāt for The Big Fancy christmas miracle.
So you plan on picking up some hours at the mall this fall. You might want to pick up āReturn to The Big Fancyā first, while thereās still time to run.
Author Freeman Hill is both profound and profane in this book (although not as much of the latter as he was in his first book). His observations and his propensity for nickname-giving are both hilarious, but such snarkiness isnāt all youāll find here: there are a few genuinely wonderful moments at the store and Hall shares them, too.
While retail-working readers will surely identify with this book, it will also give non-retailers a taste of whatās behind the counter. Either way, if youāre getting malled this holiday season, youāll need a laugh and āReturn to The Big Fancyā packs a lot of extras.
Theater
āBad Booksā a timely look at censorship in local library
Influencer vs. conservative parent in Round House production

āBad Booksā
Through May 4
Round House Theatre
4545 East-West Highway
Bethesda, Md.
Tickets start at $43
Roundhousetheatre.org
While a library might seem an unlikely place for a heated contretemps, itās exactly the spot where adults go when theyāre itching to battle out what books minors might be allowed to read.
In Sharyn Rothsteinās āBad Books,ā two women, The Mother (out actor Holly Twyford) and The Librarian (Kate Eastwood Norris), swiftly become mired in a quarrel that comes with some weighty repercussions.Ā
The Mother is a popular conservative influencer on a mission. Sheās furious that the local library has overstepped its bounds and she blames The Librarian, a woman who adheres to the āit takes a villageā method of child rearing and is dedicated to the young people who approach her reference desk.
Thereās some background. It seems The Librarian who dresses young (tight jackets and Doc Martens) and curses a blue streak, forged a friendship with Jeremy, a teenage library regular.
While the details are a bit hazy, it seems the troubled Jeremy confided in The Librarian regarding some personal issues. In return, she suggested a helpful book ā Boob Juice.
Unsurprisingly, based solely on its title, the book has thrown The Mother into a pique of outrage. After finding Boob Juice in her sonās bedroom, she made a beeline to the library; and not incidentally, The Mother hasnāt read the recommended work and has no plans to do so.
Set in a suburb with lax gun laws, the story explores facets of division and conciliation. The Mother insists she isnāt so much about banning books as she is keeping some books away from young people until theyāve obtained parental approval.
āBad Booksā is performed in the round. Built on a rotating stage, Meghan Rahamās set is simple, pleasingly serviceable, and easily transforms from the library into a small corporate office, and later the assembly room of a church. Overhead floats a circular glass shelf filled with a cache of banned books. Things like a rolling book cart and a goldfish bowl add some flavor to the different locations.
The Mother wasnāt always a popular conservative warrior with an enthusiastic horde of followers.
Her past includes penning a book that later filled her with guilt and regret. She refers to that early questionable literary accomplishment as her bad book. And while over the years, she has persevered to find and destroy each and every printed copy, she hasnāt entirely succeeded.
Norris plays three women who figure meaningfully into the arc of Twyfordās mother character. In addition to The Librarian, Norris is The Manager, a broadly played piece of comic relief, and The Editor, a warm woman who reveals things about Jeremy that his own mother never knew.
Smartly staged by Ryan Rilette, the production is part of a National New Play Network Rolling World Premiere. While Rothsteinās script offers two strong roles (skillfully performed by celebrated actors Twyford and Norris), its ending feels too neatly resolved.
In the past, Twyford and Norris have successfully joined forces for numerous DMV productions including Studio Theatreās production of David Auburnās two-hander āSummer, 1976,ā the story of a longtime and unlikely friendship between two women who meet as young mothers during the Bicentennial summer.
Though different, both The Librarian and The Mother share a strong and ultimately hopeful relationship with words.
Thereās a quote from E.B. Whiteās classic āCharlotteās Webā that pops up a couple of times in the briskly paced 80-minute play. Charlotte, the wise spider, says, āwith just the right words you can change the world.ā
Books
āPronoun Troubleā reminds us that punctuation matters
āTheyāĀ has been a shape-shifter for more than 700 years

āPronoun Troubleā
By John McWhorter
c.2025, Avery
$28/240 pages
Punctuation matters.
Itās tempting to skip a period at the end of a sentence Tempting to overuse exclamation points!!! very tempting to MeSs with capital letters. Dont use apostrophes. Ask a question and ignore the proper punctuation commas or question marks because seriously who cares.Ā So guess what? Someone does,Ā punctuation really matters,Ā andĀ as youāll see inĀ āPronoun Troubleā by John McWhorter,Ā so do other parts of our language.

Conversation is an odd thing. Itās spontaneous, it ebbs and flows, and itās often inferred. Take, for instance, if you talk about him. Chances are, everyone in the conversation knows who him is. Or he. That guy there.
Thatās the handy part about pronouns. Says McWhorter, pronouns āfunction as shorthandā for whomever weāre discussing or referring to. Theyāre āpart of our hardwiring,ā theyāre found in all languages, and theyāve been around for centuries.
And, yes, pronouns are fluid.
For example, thereās the first-person pronoun, I as in me and there we go again. The singular I solely affects what comes afterward. You say āhe-she IS,ā and āthey-you AREā but I am. From āBlack English,ā I has also morphed into the perfectly acceptable Ima, shorthand for āI am going to.ā Mind blown.
If you love Shakespeare, you mayāve noticed that he uses both thou and you in his plays. The former was once left to commoners and lower classes, while the latter was for people of high status or less formal situations. From you, we get yāall, yeet, ya, you-uns, and yinz. We also get āyou guys,ā which may have nothing to do with guys.
We and us are warmer in tone because of the inclusion implied. She is often casually used to imply cars, boats, and ā warmly or not ā gay men, in certain settings. It ālacks personhood,ā and to use it in reference to a human is ābarbarity.ā
And yes, though it can sometimes be confusing to modern speakers, the singular word ātheyā has been a āshape-shifterā for more than 700 years.
Your high school English teacher would be proud of you, if you pick up āPronoun Trouble.ā Sadly, though, you might need her again to make sense of big parts of this book: What youāll find here is a delightful romp through language, but itās also very erudite.
Author John McWhorter invites readers along to conjugate verbs, and doing so will take you back to ancient literature, on a fascinating journey thatās perfect for word nerds and anyone who loves language. Youāll likely find a bit of controversy here or there on various entries, but youāll also find humor and pop culture, an explanation for why zie never took off, and assurance that the whole flap over strictly-gendered pronouns is nothing but overblown protestation. Readers who have opinions will like that.
Still, if you just want the pronoun you want, a little between-the-lines looking is necessary here, so beware. āPronoun Troubleā is perfect for linguists, writers, and those who love to play with words but for most readers, itās a different kind of book, period.
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Friday, April 18
āCenter Aging Friday Tea Timeā will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].Ā
Go Gay DC will host āLGBTQ+ Community Social in the Cityā at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.Ā
Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 6 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This will be a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. All are welcome and thereāll be card and board games on hand. Feel free to bring your own games to share. For more details, visit the DC Centerās website.Ā
Saturday, April 19
Go Gay DC will host āLGBTQ+ Community Brunchā at 11 a.m. at Freddieās Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including Allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
LGBTQ People of Color Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. There are all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more information and events for LGBTQ People of Color, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.Ā
āSpark Sapphic Socialā will be at 8 p.m. at Spark Social House. This weekly sapphic social is an opportunity to mix and mingle with other sapphics in D.C.ās newest LGBTQ bar. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.Ā
āDC Drag Brunch on Rooftop – Penthouse (Formerly at Lima Twist)ā will be at 12 p.m. at Baby Shank Rooftop. Hosted by Miss Capital Pride, this is the ultimate drag brunch experience in Washington, D.C., featuring the fiercest queens around. Prepare to be entertained by glamorous drag queens and celebrated celebrity impersonators, including Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, BeyoncĆ©, Britney Spears, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, Whitney Houston, Cher and many more. Tickets cost $27 and are available on Eventbrite.Ā
Sunday, April 20
Queer Crayon Club will host āQueer Sketch Socialā at 3 p.m. at Sinners and Saints. This is a fun event for LGBTQ+ adults to come together and color. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Monday, April 21
āCenter Aging Monday Coffee & Conversationā will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].Ā
Tuesday, April 22
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This support group is for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether youāre bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that youāre not 100% cis ā this is your group. For more details, visit www.genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.Ā
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-facilitated discussion group and a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the groupās Facebook.Ā
Wednesday, April 23
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking ā allowing participants to move away from being merely āapplicantsā toward being ācandidates.ā For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Asexual and Aromantic Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom.Ā This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. For more details, email [email protected].Ā
Thursday, April 24
Virtual Yoga with Sarah M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breath work, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Communityās website.
DC Anti-Violence Project Open Meeting will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This meeting is open to anyone interested in learning more and getting involved in lessening violence both within and directed towards the LGBT communities. For more information, visit Facebook or Twitter.
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