Living
Queery: Jim Garza
The HOPE D.C. vice president answers 20 gay questions
HOPE D.C., a social/support group for local poz gay men, has its 25th anniversary gathering Saturday night at 7 p.m. at a private residence in Arlington.
Jim Garza, the non-profit groupās vice president, discovered the group in 1993, though it had formed in ā88 when a small group of HIV-positive men met at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital during clinical trials of possible treatments. They started meeting outside the hospital for moral support and the group has grown tremendously over the years.
The HOPE Facebook page has about 700 followers. Garza says anywhere from 50 to 100 attend the monthly gatherings. The locations are kept private to protect members. Anyone interested can get information by calling 202-466-5783 or visiting hopedc.org/events. A HOPE hotline is available at 202-466-5783.
Garza says even with the treatment options available now, the group is still important.
āStigma and the social aspects of it are still a problem,ā he says. āCoping with it, peer support, all those things. Even in this day and age, you feel alienated. We understand there have been huge medical breakthroughs, but thereās a social aspect to it and mental aspect and thatās what we focus on.ā
The gatherings are informal, though the volunteer-led group has a board of directors and officers. At this weekendās gathering, hot dogs and hamburgers will be served. Members will bring snacks and itās BYOB.
āYou can just be yourself and talk about anything there,ā Garza says.
Garza came to Washington in 1993 and retired from the Navy in 1998. Just last week, the 48-year-old Beaumont, Texas, native started a job as a Lyft driver, giving people transportation around the city.
Heās single and lives in Arlington. In his free time, he enjoys Civil War sites, museums, visiting Virginia plantations, the Smithsonian museums and movies.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Twenty-three years and my mother (oh wait, my brother took care of that one).
Ā
Who’s your LGBT hero?
George Takei
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?Ā
Tracks
Describe your dream wedding.
A bonfire on the island of Kauāi.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Hungry people
What historical outcome would you change?
I donāt believe in disrupting the space/time continuum.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
āMen on Filmā during Super Bowl 1991 half time.
On what do you insist?
If youāre still doing drugs, stay away from me.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
āI just bought this groupon and canāt use it!ā
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
āHow am I still here?ā
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Not answer my motherās call.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?Ā
They see what we do and sometimes unhappily step in on our behalf.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Put your seat belt on.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
A hot 23-year-old Latino.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
Not enough space here to type.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
āPrayers for Bobbyā
What’s the most overrated social custom?
The block feature.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Nine years of not having any reason to get high.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That 30 years later you would be typing this.
Why Washington?
Retired Navy. Just decided to stay here and help people with drug addictions and HIV, which helps me.
Real Estate
Your holiday home journey
Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection
Thanksgiving and real estate share an essential theme: the importance of home. It is traditionally a time of gratitude, togetherness, and reflection. While its hallmark symbols may include turkey dinners, family gatherings, and autumnal dƩcor, it also invites us to think deeply about our values and who and what we hold dear.
For some people, the family home connotes a place of safety, comfort, and community. For others, visiting with family over the holiday can be a contentious and stressful ordeal best avoided. Countless of my friends have severed toxic relationships that can rival an exploding, deep-fried turkey. They have opted instead for dining out or hosting a gathering of food and football with like-minded people.
During Thanksgiving, the idea of āhomeā becomes particularly poignant. It is more than just a physical structure; itās where people gather, memories are made, and traditions are passed down. For those involved in real estate ā whether as professionals or as individuals embroiled in the market ā this emotional dimension of home is a driving force.
When buying a house, itās not just about square footage or the number of bedrooms. It’s about envisioning a Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room, imagining children playing in the backyard, or hosting friends in the cozy living space. Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection, stability, and legacy ā values closely tied to the spirit of Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving falls in the quieter part of the real estate calendar, with spring and summer being the traditionally hot seasons for buying and selling. Yet, for those who choose to list their homes in November, the holiday offers unique opportunities. Sellers can use Thanksgivingās warm, inviting atmosphere to their advantage, staging homes with seasonal touches like autumn wreaths, a cornucopia of fruits and nuts, the sparkle of a dining room chandelier, and the scent of freshly baked pies.
A well-decorated home during this time can evoke an emotional connection with potential buyers. A cozy environment can help them imagine spending their future holidays in that very space. Additionally, homes listed during the Thanksgiving season often face less competition, as fewer properties are on the market. This can lead to more serious offers from motivated buyers.
For buyers, Thanksgiving can function as a reminder of why they are on the hunt for a new home in the first place. Perhaps they are looking for a bigger space for a growing family. They may be downsizing to retire or to simplify life. They might be looking for home to accommodate both children and aging parents simultaneously. The holiday season underscores the importance of finding a home that aligns with lifestyle needs and future goals.
In our tight real estate market, buyers still face challenges such as limited inventory and higher interest rates; however, Thanksgiving encourages a shift in perspective. Itās a time to focus on gratitude for what is within reach ā whether itās finding a starter home, securing a dream property, or taking incremental steps toward long-term, financial goals.
Interestingly, Thanksgiving weekend has become an increasingly popular time for real estate research. Families can gather around the table and begin discussing the future, including moving to a new city, upgrading their home, or purchasing an investment property. Digital tools like web searches and virtual tours can help buyers and sellers stay connected to the real estate market without disrupting their Thanksgiving traditions.
Whether you are buying or selling, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity to reflect on the role of gratitude in real estate. For buyers, itās about being thankful for the chance to find a home that meets their needs, even if the journey is challenging. For sellers, itās a moment to appreciate the memories made in a home while looking forward to new opportunities.
For real estate agents and other industry professionals, Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude to clients and colleagues, build stronger relationships, and highlight the human aspect of a business often driven by transactions alone.
If you are staying put this Thanksgiving, you have a chance to celebrate your current home, no matter its size or condition. Simple gestures like decorating with fall colors, rearranging furniture for a cozy feel, or preparing a special meal can deepen your connection to your space. Inviting neighbors, friends, or family to share in the festivities can reinforce the sense of community that makes a house a home.
Whether itās the home you currently have, the one youāre searching for, or the one you are leaving behind, each holds a unique place in your life story. Take stock of the journey so far, recognize the progress made, and look forward to the possibilities ahead.
Digital Media
LGBTQ youth love TikTok. Does TikTok love them back?
Platformās algorithm found to promote homophobia, violence
When Jocelyn was stuck inside during most of 2020, they did what any high school senior would do: scrolled through TikTok. They found themself on the hashtag #tiktokmademegay a lot. (To protect privacy,Ā the BladeĀ is opting to only use Jocelynās first name).
āAt the time, I didn’t give it a lot of thought,ā they say, acknowledging that most users viewed it as āmore of a joke.ā
Now a senior in college, where Jocelyn will graduate with a degree in Womenās, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and Computer Science this spring, they have a more nuanced perspective. Nuanced enough to embark on a year-long independent thesis on the topic.
They still get that the hashtag is a joke, but probe into what lies behind it, noting a tension between the āthe born-this-way narrative of sexuality essentialismā to the idea that āsexuality is socially constructed.ā They also question the power this narrative gives to TikTok in its ability to surveil user data and identity.
What got Jocelyn so interested in it in the first place was the fact it was a conservative talking point being replicated by the queer community. Because, what amounts to a joke or an intellectual query for some, is a point of anxiety and fear-mongering for others.
The conservative think tank known for writingĀ Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation wroteĀ āHow Big Tech Turns Kids TransāĀ arguing that āDigital spaces are ever more designed to promote sexual and transgender content.ā This argument has incredible staying power and has been echoed by numerous far-right pundits likeĀ Oli LondonĀ andĀ Charlie Kirk.
It has also been referenced by lawmakers. Tennessee Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R) stated theĀ Kids Online Safety ActĀ (KOSA), bi-partisan legislation she co-sponsored restricting youth access to social media, was meant to “protect minor children from the transgender [sic] in our culture.”
TikTok has faced numerous challenges over the years. From MontanaāsĀ currently unsuccessfulĀ ban on use in its state to theĀ ādivest-or-ban billāĀ signed by President Joe Biden in April or theĀ lawsuitĀ brought by more than a dozen attorneys general in Octoberāit is clear there is a broad coalition of U.S. lawmakers concerned about the app.Ā
These actsāwhich cite both national security and youth mental healthācome in conjunction with a larger movement to limit youth access to social mediaālocally, nationally, and internationally.
Data security experts and some legislators state that the national security risk of the app is onlyĀ hypothetical due to the fact TikTok houses U.S. user data in the states. There are pressing concerns about the safety of user data, explains Shae Gardner, the policy director at LGBT Tech. Focusing those concerns entirely on one platform due to a hypothetical risk rather than the widespread, real risks across multiple platforms is disingenuous.
āProponents [of this ban] have been saying that this is urgent and necessary to protect the data of Americans,ā says Gardner, āBut we have been asking for years for nationwide data privacy protections, and watching the efforts die over and over again on the legislative vine.ā
In fact, Gardner argues, āRegulating one application is both legally dubious and will ultimately be ineffective in doing so.ā Gardner explains that though LGBT Tech is not involved in any legislation against the ban, which other tech policy groups are, they hold the shared belief that it is unconstitutional to target a single platform rather than the wider ecosystem.
The risk to youth mental health, which has also been cited as a major concern, is more complicated. Best sellers like theĀ highly critiquedĀ āThe Anxious Generationā argue that all youth mental illness is linked to social media. The data doesnāt back this up,Ā argueĀ numerous experts.
Amid the panic,Ā LGBTQ advocatesĀ have passionately argued that queer youthās access to technology is uniquely beneficial due to a lack of education and community in the physical world. The Trevor Project identified TikTok as the platform whereĀ LGBTQ youthĀ felt most āsafe and understood.āĀ
Data largely backs this up. A systematic review from 2022 found that āsocial media may support the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ youths through peer connection, identity management, and social support.ā The review noted that more research is needed, noting that their results may be limited by weak evidence due to factors like small sample sizes.
Celia B. Fisher, the Marie Ward Doty University Chair in Ethics at Fordham University, was able to gather a larger sample by conducting a national survey of more than 500 on Instagram. With that reach, explains Fisher, āyou’re more likely to get a fuller view of what’s going on nationally.ā
āThere’s an anonymity with national surveys,ā adds Fisher, ā[It] brings different people to answer questions that they may not want to talk about to somebody in person.ā
In March 2024, she published the peer-reviewed article āSocial media: A double-edged sword for LGBTQ+ youthā in the Journal āComputers in Human Behavior.ā Many results agreed with the larger narrative of online spaces as refuges and community-building spaces. āIt’s a wonderful place when they can find the appropriate sites,ā says Fisher.
Jocelyn, the student researcher, echoes this. āMany of the videos I have come across discuss how the comfortability of the queer spaces on TikTok was part of the reason they felt comfortable enough to come out and explore their sexuality.ā
When youth drift into non-welcoming territory, the story is different.
Fisherās research finds that more than 80% of youth are exposed to discrimination either directly or vicariously (watching others being discriminated against) in the last month. Fisher wrote, ābetween 40% and 63% of all youth met the criteria for moderate levels of depression, anxiety, and substance use disorder (SUD).ā Youth who described high exposure to discrimination had higher levels of depression, anxiety, and SUD.
The hate does not simply come from the run-of-the-mill bully finding a classmate online. āAlgorithms expose them to these things,ā says Fisher.
āIf an algorithm sees that you’re interested in RuPaulā¦ Then it begins its work on figuring out other sites that may be attached to similar interests. But as it moves on, it begins to add the heterosexist and transphobic types of posts.ā
The fact that the algorithms that govern our tech can be sexist, racist, and homophobic is old news and highly studied, but it continues to have compounding impacts. Media Matters for America found in 2021 that TikTokās algorithm specifically promotes homophobia and anti-trans violence.
Jocelyn also worries about handing over the power of identification and community to an algorithm. In addition to the #tiktokmademegay, other users promote the idea that āTikTok knows things about themself before they know it.ā This rhetoric is āscaryā says Jocelyn, because āhanding over the keys of self-identification to an algorithm that we have no idea how it works is not something that feels right.ā
Gardner echoes the complex views on the state of social media. Outside of her day job as a policy maven, Gardner is a TikToker under the handle @shaeitaintsoo, where she shares educational content about LGBTQ issues.
āThese spaces also allow for a lot of queer joy and a lot of authenticity in a way that makes me proud to be a part of this community,ā she says. At the same time, backlash is part of the job. The success of TikTokās moderation has ebbed and flowed during her four years as a public figure on the app.
Gardner emphasizes that āhatred and harassment do not live in algorithms.ā The discrimination faced online is replicated bigotry from offline spaces. Social media can amplify and distribute the bigotry in new ways. āIt is the responsibility of the platforms to be making significant efforts to ensure that the replication is not then also multiplied and made ten times worse.ā
Gardner sees the backlash as a ātale as old as timeā that has been replicated without much evidence onto emerging technology. āI’m not saying that tale is not rooted in some element of truth. But this, this didn’t start with TikTok, I would push back against language that seems to think it will end with TikTok.ā
In the meantime, Gardner implores those worried to not lose sight of the most important concerns.
āIf your concern is that [kids and teens] are spending too much time in online spaces. What are you doing to create safe, physical ones for them?ā Gardner asks.
(This story is part of the Digital Equity Local Voices Fellowship Lab through News is Out. The lab initiative is made possible with support from Comcast NBCUniversal.)
Dodge Igloo Kool Tunes Cooler
Mixing beats with brews, Dodge offers a combined cooler and boombox ($296), with two built-in speakers, LED status indicator, charging port and Bluetooth pairing. You can rock your tunes for up to 10 hours on a single charge. Capacity: 26 (12-ounce) cans.
Lexus Flask and Tumblers
Add some spiritāor spiritsāto the holidays with a Lexus High Camp Parkside Flask ($140). The stainless steel, vacuum-insulated container has a chic cypress-green finish and can hold the temperature of a full bottle of wine for up to 24 hours. Two tasteful tumblersāinspired by classic stemless wine glassesāfit on the top and bottom of the flask.
Ferrari Baby Romper Outfit
For swaddling any newborns in the family, thereās a festive Ferrari romper ($150). This outrĆ© outfitāmade of 100% cottonāhas the automakerās famous Prancing Horse emblem on the front and comes with matching baby bib. Expect plenty of pitstops ahead!
Ferrari Plush Pump Shoes
For more prancing, though this time as an adult, Ferrari has a pair of patent-leather pump shoes ($1,291). Available in black, red, or cream, these preening pumps are designed with a square toe, red lining and natty-looking red pull at the heel. Made in Italy, naturalmente!
Rolls-Royce Cufflinks
How to up your sartorial game even more? Spirit of Ecstasy cufflinks ($900) from Rolls-Royce are crafted in 925 sterling silver, with choice of either a rhodium-plated or dark-ruthenium finish. And pricing is a bargain, considering the average MSRP of a brand-new Rolls today is $500,000.
Kia Flashlight and Electric Lighter
For outdoor adventures, Kia has a waterproof, rechargeable LED flashlight with built-in electric lighter ($38). The compact flashlight is less than four inches long and come in three modes: full power, half power orāfor all of us disco queensāpulsing strobe. And the tail of the flashlight opens up into a windproof lighter. Lanyard and micro-USB cord included.
Cadillac Cabana Towel
Some automakers see everything in black and white ā literally. The Cadillac cabana towel ($37), with retro-groovy yarn-dyed stripes, is made of 100% microfiber polyester and measures 60×72 inches.
Cadillac Crew Socks
Cadillac also has a pair of sporty, fully knitted black-and-white crew socks ($59). Bonus: the classy cardboard presentation box.
Ford Warriors in Pink Mug
The Warriors in Pink Mug ($20) from Ford is part of the automakerās longtime initiative to help fight breast cancer. Both the Susan G. Komen and Pink Fund each receive 5% of the purchase price of the mug, as well as any other Warriors in Pink merchandise.
Maserati Aero Pen
Need some motivation to start writing holiday cards? Maserati has the Pininfarina Aero pen ($140), with a futuristic design that evokes the infinity symbol. Made of aerospace aluminum, this super cool pen comes with an attractive base in unrefined concrete, along with a customized box.
Dodge Dodgeball
Let off some steam and release your inner Ben Stiller or Vince Vaughn with this aptly named Dodge ball ($17). Made of performance rubber and measuring 8.5-inches wide, this red dodgeball comes with the automakerās logo emblazoned in white.
Bentley Napkin Rings
Ringing in the New Year just got a lot more la-di-da with a pair of Bentley napkin rings ($97). The diamond-shaped knurling pattern echoes the elegant design on the grillwork, console and upholstery of glam Bentleys. The automakerās emblem is laser-engraved on the underside of the napkin rings. Available in nickel-plated metal or gold-plated zinc alloy.
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