Living
Queery: Stephen Key
The oboist and Britten fan answers 20 gay questions

Stephen Key (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Stephen Key discovered the works of composer Benjamin Britten about 10 years ago when he and a group of colleagues in Oberlin, Ohio learned the interludes from the opera “Peter Grimes.” He says the music stayed with him.
“They’re very accessible … yet also diverse and challenging to the ear at the same time,” Key says. “He uses a lot of bitonality and interesting rhythms … there are two key centers going on — they just really spoke to me and then when I found out he wrote it for his partner, Peter Pears, that made me even happier that as a gay man, we actually do have some examples of long-term relationships in the early 20th century.”
There are a host of events going on in the region this fall to celebrate the centennial of Britten’s (1913-1976) birth. Friday night, Key will play several of Britten’s works for oboe at Shenandoah Conservatory (1460 University Dr., Winchester, Va.) in the Goodson Chapel Recital Hall at a free 7 p.m. concert. It’s about a 75-minute drive from D.C. Look up “Benjamin Britten: Works for Oboe” on Facebook for details.
Key, a 32-year-old Ada, Okla., native who also grew up in the D.C. area and returned here after a three-year stint in Texas in 2011, says Britten and Pears were “as out as they possibly could be” considering the time. He says Britten’s music holds up because it’s both “approachable and challenging.”
“Britten found that happy point in the middle where he was pushing the envelope of what was possible, but there’s still enough melody and harmonic structure there for you to latch onto,” he says.
Key lives in Fairfax but teaches two days a week at Shenandoah Conservatory. He also freelances with his instrument and hopes to secure more orchestral work.
He’s single and enjoys roller coasters, cooking, food and wine, video games, “pretentious/cerebral” movies, reading and travel in his free time.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I came out as a 14-year-old freshman in high school, so I’ve been out for 18 years. The hardest person to tell was a friend who was already OK with gay people, so I was really embarrassed that it took me so long to tell her.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
Personally, my older brother, because he made it easier to accept who I am by coming out so brashly before I did. As to public figures, of course, Harvey Milk and the numbers of artists including Aaron Copeland, Benjamin Britten, Samuel Barber and (though closeted) Leonard Bernstein.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
I was a Velvet kid, so there will always be a special place in my heart for Nation.
Describe your dream wedding.
It would be a compromise between the desires of my future husband and myself.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
I am passionate about many issues because I am from the political left, coming from Oberlin. These include universal health care, a desire to see socialized post-secondary education, prison reform and re-addressing drug laws, particularly marijuana.
What historical outcome would you change?
I would be reticent to change anything because, as an artist, I recognize that sometimes the most beautiful things in the world are exhumed out of the most devastating things.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
I don’t pay attention to pop culture, but if I did, I would say it is electing President Obama for the first time.
On what do you insist?
Good food and company.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
It was about my upcoming Benjamin Britten recital.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“The Life of an Oboist, from Struggle to Acceptance”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Absolutely nothing, I’m happy the way I am. However, I would be interested to see how far we could go with genetics, epigenetics and genome therapy and how far that could go in helping to cure real problems.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
That’s hard for me to answer. I consider myself a struggling atheist. My default position is atheism, but many things in my life have caused me to question that.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Keep doing what you are doing. As a former activist who had to choose a career path, I admire the people who are doing the hard work that has generated so many positive results in the past decade. I look forward to seeing how much more will be done.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
A great career and a great marriage.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
That we are all polyamorous.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
I know that this may sound silly, but, “Beautiful Thing” was a movie that I watched when I first came out and it was very approachable for a young gay teen; it made me feel happy to be who I am. I will always have a special place in my heart for that movie.
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Large weddings and Facebook baby posts.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Not a prize, but a job: principal oboe of one of the top orchestras in the United States.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That the path of the turtle is just as fulfilling, if not more so, than the path of the hare.
Why Washington?
My family is here and I’ve spent most of my life here, so it feels like home. Also, there are a number of good career opportunities for musicians. Also, it’s just a good city!

Stephen Key (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Electric-vehicle tax credits may have faded earlier this year, but EVs themselves are far from losing their spark. There are more charging stations than ever, battery ranges are longer and more realistic, and automakers have finally figured out that EVs don’t all need to look like geeky science projects or feel like failed beta tests.
Just look at these two compact electrics, which are futuristic, fun and flexible enough for work or play.
HYUNDAI IONIQ 5
$37,000 to $48,000
Range: 245 to 318 miles
0 to 60 mph: 4.5 to 7.4 seconds
Cargo space: 26.3 cu. ft.
PROS: Fast charging. Roomy cabin. Silky-smooth suspension.
CONS: Wide turning radius. Rear wiper not on all trims. Price creep.
After being introduced three years ago, what’s new for the latest Hyundai Ioniq 5? Mostly refinement. Charging is quicker, software is smarter and Hyundai continues to quietly listen to feedback, tweaking ride comfort and usability. Think of it as switching from messy eyeliner to a perfectly sharp wing.
Exterior styling remains one of this EV’s biggest conversation starters. Those pixel-inspired lights, crisp lines and slick hatchback-meets-crossover proportions exude refreshing confidence. There’s no trying to blend in, and that’s the point. Park this Hyundai anywhere and heads will turn.
On the road, the Ioniq 5 prioritizes calm over chaos. Steering is light, the suspension smooths out rough pavement and acceleration feels brisk without being aggressive. Safety tech is plentiful and well-calibrated—adaptive cruise control, lane-centering, blind-spot monitoring—all working together without seeming like a nervous backseat driver. IOW, this ride is supportive, not clingy.
Inside, the user-friendly cabin shines. The flat floor and long wheelbase create a lounge-like atmosphere, with excellent legroom and airy visibility. Seats are well-bolstered and available with eco-friendly materials, and the sliding center console adds flexibility. Cargo space is generous, and the wide windshield makes city driving stress-free. Alas, the rear wiper is only available on select models. Overall, though, I appreciated how everything looks modern without feeling cold.
What makes this Hyundai special is its vibe. An EV that embraces individuality without shouting about it.
Fun fact: The Ioniq’s ultra-fast charging can add hundreds of miles in under 20 minutes—perfect for those who hate waiting almost as much as they hate small talk on awkward first dates.
VOLKSWAGEN ID.4
$46,000 to $59,130
Range: 206 to 291 miles
0 to 60 mph: 4.4 to 7.7 seconds
Cargo space: 30.3 cu. ft.
PROS: Sure handling. Decent range. Good storage.
CONS: Body roll in curves. Fussy infotainment. No frunk.
The latest VW ID.4 focuses on polish. Software updates have fixed earlier frustrations, and overall drivability feels more cohesive. Less “learning curve” and more “hop in and go,” like a dependable bestie who doesn’t overthink things.
Styling-wise, this EV is intentionally inoffensive. Soft curves, friendly lighting and a familiar crossover shape make it approachable. While the ID.4 won’t turn heads like the Ioniq 5, that’s OK. It’s more akin to a classic outfit that always works—timeless, not trendy.
Driving the ID.4 is relaxed and predictable. This SUV prioritizes comfort over thrills, with a suspension tuned for daily commuting and long highway drives. Safety features are comprehensive and reassuring, including excellent lane assistance and collision-prevention systems. It’s the kind of car that quietly has your back, no drama required.
Inside, the ID.4 offers a calm, uncluttered cabin with good space for passengers and cargo alike. Rear-seat legroom is especially strong, making it a solid road-trip companion. The seats are plush, visibility is good and while the infotainment system isn’t the most intuitive, it’s improved enough to be more than tolerable.
The ID.4’s special sauce is balance. It doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel—it just electrifies it.
Fun fact: This is one of the most globally popular EVs, proving that sometimes being universally liked is a strength, not a personality flaw. Think, gold star gay who still surprises you.

Real Estate
Child- and pet-proofing your home for the holidays
It isn’t about being perfect but about being prepared
The holidays are meant to be joyful, cozy, and full of laughter — but if you have young children or pets, they can also feel a little chaotic. Twinkling lights, shiny decorations, guests coming and going, and tables full of tempting food can turn your home into a wonderland of curiosity and mischief. The good news? With a little thoughtful planning, you can keep the holiday magic alive while making your home safer for everyone who lives there.
There’s something oddly comforting about movies where animals go to war with holiday decorations, turning carefully strung lights and perfectly placed ornaments into chaos. Whether it’s a mischievous dog tangled in tinsel or a curious cat launching a full-scale assault on a Christmas tree, these scenes tap into a universal experience for pet owners.
The humor comes from the contrast: the human characters are trying to create warmth, tradition, and picture-perfect cheer, while the animals see the decorations as toys, obstacles, or personal enemies. The resulting destruction — trees tipping over, ornaments shattering, lights blinking out—feels exaggerated but relatable, especially during the already hectic holiday season.
Let’s start with decorations because they tend to be the biggest attraction. Ornaments sparkle, garlands dangle, and everything seems designed to be touched, pulled, or tasted. If you have little ones or pets, consider placing your most fragile ornaments higher on the tree and using shatterproof options on the lower branches. Tinsel and ribbon may look festive, but they can be dangerous if swallowed, so skipping them or keeping them well out of reach is a simple way to reduce risk without sacrificing style.
Holiday lights are another favorite fascination. Before hanging them, take a few minutes to inspect each strand for frayed wires or broken bulbs. Secure cords along walls or behind furniture so they’re harder to grab or chew and unplug them when you leave the house or head to bed. Not only does this help prevent accidents, but it also gives you one less thing to worry about during a busy season.
The Christmas tree itself can become a focal point for exploration. Make sure it’s sturdy and well-anchored so it doesn’t tip if a toddler tugs on a branch or a pet decides to investigate. If you use a real tree, cover the water base since tree water can contain additives that aren’t safe if consumed. For artificial trees, keep an eye out for loose pieces or needles that could become choking hazards.
Food is a big part of holiday celebrations, and it’s also one of the most common sources of trouble. Many traditional treats—like chocolate, grapes, raisins, alcohol, and foods containing xylitol—are dangerous for pets. Keep plates and serving dishes up high, secure the trash can, and gently remind guests not to slip pets or kids “just a little bite” without checking first. For children, be mindful of hard candies, nuts, and small treats that could pose choking risks.
Candles and fireplaces add warmth and charm, but they deserve extra caution. Flameless candles are a wonderful alternative if you want ambiance without worry. If you do use real candles, place them well out of reach and never leave them unattended. Fireplaces should always have a sturdy screen or gate, especially with crawling babies or curious pets nearby.
Holiday gatherings bring wonderful energy into your home, but they can also create new challenges. Doors opening frequently make it easier for pets to slip outside, so consider setting up a quiet, comfortable space where they can relax during busy get-togethers. This can help reduce stress for them and give you peace of mind. For children, stair gates, locked cabinets, and clear boundaries can help prevent accidents when there’s extra excitement in the air.
New toys and gifts are another thing to watch closely. Packaging, twist ties, plastic wrap, and especially button batteries should be cleaned up promptly. These items are easy to overlook in the excitement of gift-opening but can be dangerous if swallowed. Taking a few minutes to tidy up as you go can make a big difference.
Lastly, try to keep routines as steady as possible. The holidays naturally disrupt schedules, but familiar mealtimes, naps, walks, and bedtime rituals help children and pets feel secure. A calmer household often means fewer accidents and a happier experience for everyone.
At the end of the day, child- and pet-proofing your home for the holidays isn’t about being perfect but about being prepared. A few small adjustments can help you relax, enjoy your guests, and focus on what truly matters: creating warm, happy memories with the ones you love. When your home feels safe, the holidays feel even sweeter.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Real Estate
In real estate, trust the process
With rates coming down, we could see spring surge in buyers
The average 30-year mortgage rate is falling, little by slowly. With predictions that the rate will continue to adjust downward in the next year or two, there may be a busier spring market than we have seen in the last few year, especially for the DMV market, which has been reeling from thousands of layoffs this past year. The frenzied activity resulting from interest rates close to 3% for some borrowers will probably not occur; however, this spring could add up to be a few notches busier than the last.
What does this mean for buyers and sellers? Lender Tina Del Casale with Waterstone Mortgage says she has seen “low to mid 6’s as the average for conventional loans.” If rates continue downward into the 5% range, there may be more activity than we saw in the last year or two. This could release a little bit of pent up demand.
Many buyers will have found that for whatever reason, their current home is not meeting their needs. Sellers may want to finally take the plunge and put a for sale sign in the yard and online, now that they might find a more reasonable rate on their next home. This winter can be an opportunity to assess financial situations, home conditions, and optimize one’s chances to have a sale with more agreeable terms, or put one’s best foot forward in an offer. In addition to checking with a lender or favorite handy person, let’s review what sellers and buyers typically spend their energy negotiating while enjoying the lovely process called “going under contract”:
- Timelines – Sellers might want to have their house solidly under contract (papers signed, thumbs up from the lenders, all inspection items decided upon and settled) so that they can put an offer down on a new home, and then negotiate that timeline with the other sellers. Remember, making a move is not only about the buyer taking possession of a new home, but also about the sellers figuring out their situation as well.
- Sale Price – unfortunately for buyers, in the eyes of most sellers, “money talks.” So, in a non-competitive situation, a seller might be happy to just get one offer at a price that was within the desired range. As soon as another interested buyer enters the equation, it can become a little bit like RuPaul’s Drag Race, and one will have to lip sync for one’s life, honey! And only one buyer will get to hear the words, “condragulations!”
- Tone/Vibes/Energy in the Room – Remember: Human beings are emotional creatures. All of us have feelings. And all of us want to put energy into situations where we feel appreciated, where a level of self-awareness exists, and a sense that each side is trying one’s hardest to act in good faith. The best transactions I saw were where a little grace was the “grease on the wheels” of the transaction. Occasionally, a buyer had cold feet and wanted to see the unit a few more times before the settlement date, or a seller forgot to scrub the bathroom with a little extra elbow grease before the settlement date. Life happens; misunderstandings can occur. A wise therapist once said: “You don’t have to like it, but can you allow it?” The tone of one or both parties in the transaction can be what seals the deal, or results in one party exiting the contract. (In the case of the dirty bathroom, the seller left a check with the title company for the buyer to pay a housekeeper to come clean what they couldn’t.)
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
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