Living
A minister’s fresh start
Detroit Baptist official resigns after coming out; plans Silver Spring church


Bishop Allyson Abrams fled Detroit after coming out as a lesbian minister. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Bishop Allyson Abrams is no stranger to challenge. When her secret threatened to come out in her Detroit church — that she was a lesbian married to a woman — she knew she had to act fast to save her job and livelihood. Now, several months and one resignation later, Abrams is starting over by opening a new church in Silver Spring, Md.
Abrams, originally from Alabama, grew up in the church with her mother, grandmother and grandfather all very involved. She remembers sitting in the back of the church at around age 8 and having a conversation with God in which she felt he was telling her to become involved in ministry.
After receiving her bachelor’s of science in mechanical engineering at Howard University, she followed that calling to a seminary in Ohio. While there, one of her favorite professors challenged her that scripture prohibits homosexuality.
“I had so much respect for my professor so I went back and looked at the scripture,” Abrams says. “That began my journey to question homosexuality. God began to reveal to me what scripture meant. It was like a light bulb going off. We can’t be so religious that we hurt and wrong people.”
Abrams, who before marrying her wife had been married to a man and had children, began to question her sexuality after this revelation. She went on to pastor at one church in Detroit for seven years. Then, she moved on to Zion Progress Baptist Church becoming its first female pastor. During that time, Abrams married her wife, Diana Williams, in Iowa, though she declines to go into details about exactly when they were married or to what degree she intended to keep her marriage hidden.
Word eventually traveled around that Abrams had married a woman and some of her friends began to receive phone calls and text messages asking if it was true. Abrams was afraid that her church would hear about it from someone else and decided to tell the deacons of her church. They urged her to share the news with the congregation.
During a sermon on the love of Christ, Abrams disclosed to her church that she was a lesbian and married to a woman.
“I wasn’t sure at all what people would say or feel,” Abrams says. Some were supportive of me. I just needed to be honest with them and have them hear it from me and not somebody else.”
Abrams says she felt freedom after revealing her secret.
“There’s a certain joy that you have that you can’t share with the congregation because of what the church says about it. I thought about it all the time.”
After five years with the church, Abrams felt it best to resign. She says she did not feel coerced into stepping down, only that she felt it was the best decision at the time.
She and her wife wanted to move to a marriage equality state where there were groups moving the LGBT movement forward. Both having connections to the D.C. area, they decided Maryland was a good fit.
Her new church, Empowerment Liberation Cathedral (633 Sligo Ave., Silver Spring, Md.), opens in May. It’s conceived as a welcoming and affirming Baptist church that she is starting with support from her wife. Abrams has needed additional financial support and has been holding fundraisers including concerts with other fellowships asking for donations.
“We welcome and affirm every race, gender, sexuality and disability,” Abrams says. “We want to give them a safe space, teach principles and to pour into them God’s love. People say it’s amazing to hear a pastor say that God loves us the way we are. I’m always going to make sure God knows them.”
Rev. Charles Christian Adams of Hartford Memorial Church in Detroit is a colleague of Abrams. He believes her new church will be a success.
“She’s conscientious and preaches with an open heart. There’s not a lot of love in churches. Any church she pastors will have that trademark,” he says.
Empowerment Liberation Cathedral also offers virtual membership. Abrams says she received lots of requests for her to preach all over the country after her story came out. Unable to travel all over and meet everyone’s requests, she decided to create a virtual membership for her church so that anyone can hear her preach.
“It’s very difficult still. All I worked hard for is over. It’s like being back at the beginning. It’s hard as a woman to get to the top level. I’m kind of kicked to the curb. Now I’m reaching out for support. I’m still the same preacher and the same person. I’m asking the Maryland LGBT community for support.”
Real Estate
No Rose, your interest rate has nothing to do with how many likes you got on Hinge
Many factors help determine rates these days

Picture it, you’re sitting in the lunchroom at work, and your coworker just bought a house. Another coworker bought one a few months ago and you hear that she got a totally different interest rate than the other one did, even though they both bought houses not that far from each other. Homebuyers everywhere have been wondering what interest rates they are going to get, lately. It’s easy to read an article online or see an ad on social media stating specific numbers, but there may be more than meets the eye going into a particular buyer’s interest rate.
What are the factors that can affect the interest rate a buyer eventually “locks in”?
- Property details – certain properties may be in neighborhoods with higher rates of foreclosure, or there may be specific census tracts that allow a buyer to participate in the “Fannie Mae Home Ready” and “Freddie Mac Home Possible” programs, which carry more flexible requirements such as various income limits and lower interest rates, to help people begin homeownership.
- Type of loan / loan amount– a conventional, conforming loan or a jumbo loan can have differing interest rates, as well as FHA loans.
- Credit score – most people are aware that this affects what interest rate is quoted, just like on a credit card. Some lenders will work with you on ways to improve a credit score if the goal is to buy six, nine, or 12 months from now.
- Lock period – do you want to lock in the rate for 30 days? 45? Market volatility can cause the rates to change so it will cost more money to hold onto a particular interest rate.
- Loan to value ratio – one can still buy a home with less than 20% down, but the rate that is quoted may be higher.
- Occupancy type – is this the primary residence or an investment property?
- Points bought or credits taken – A buyer can pay the lender a fee to buy down the interest rate, or the seller can sometimes offer a credit. This has become more popular in recent years.
- Market conditions – keep an eye on the news – as we are all aware, change is the only constant!
Lender Tina del Casale with Atlantic Union Bank says, “With jumbo fixed rates in the low 6’s, and first-time buyer down payment assistance loans such as DC Open Doors, rates are in the mid 7’s. With the added factors of your income, the address you are purchasing and your credit score factoring into the equation, interest rates are different from buyer to buyer these days. So, skip the online tools and make a few calls because that’s the only way to get an accurate quote these days!”
It might feel like an overwhelming amount of information to take on, but remember, there are people that help others take these big steps every day. A trusted lender and Realtor can guide their clients from start to finish when it comes to purchasing a home. And for that, you’ll be saying, “thank you for being a friend!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Advice
Stop haranguing your husband about how you think he should behave
Make your point and then move on from the argument

Michael,
My husband is great, but he’s a pushover. It happens at work a lot. For example: His colleague, who came back from maternity leave about four months ago, is always leaving early. And Jeremy is always staying late to finish the jobs that they should be doing together.
But the most galling to me is that he doesn’t speak up for himself in his family. His parents (in my opinion) overtly favor his brother (who is straight) and his brother’s family. I could give a lot of examples. The latest: They’re treating the brother and the family to a cruise.
We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 12, and never get any such treatment.
Jeremy says his brother is strapped for cash (four kids, one income) and the family needs a break, whereas Jeremy doesn’t need his parents to pay for his (or our) vacation. I don’t really want to go on a cruise but it’s the principle of the thing.
Again, this is just one example. I feel bad for Jeremy being walked on, over and over, and I want him to start standing up for himself. Despite my repeated entreaties, he won’t.
When I push him on this, he tells me I’m not seeing the whole picture, or he sees it differently, or it’s not a big deal, or he’s fine with things as they are.
I can’t see how he could be fine with being taken advantage of, or not being appreciated. I think he’d have a much better life if he actually set some boundaries with people.
How do I persuade Jeremy to listen to me and be more assertive?
Michael replies:
Do you see the irony in complaining that you can’t get your husband to listen to you about being more assertive and setting a boundary?
You’ve made your point to Jeremy, repeatedly, and Jeremy is telling you to back off. In other words, he’s assertively setting a boundary with you.
You can’t get someone else to behave in the way you want, even when you’re certain that your way is best. Jeremy gets to decide how he wants to conduct himself.
Here’s a pattern I have noticed over and over again through my years of working with couples: When you try to do something for someone that is their own job to do, both you and the person you are trying to “help” wind up being resentful. You get annoyed that the other person won’t listen to your wonderful advice, and the other person gets annoyed because they don’t want someone else telling them what to do or how to live their life.
In this case, you’re trying to get Jeremy to stand up for himself more than he does, and he’s not interested in changing how he operates.
A great rule for relationships: You can advocate for what you want, but you have to let go of the result. (And advocate sparingly, or you risk being a nag).
You are continuing to argue the same point to Jeremy, and Jeremy isn’t interested in listening to you. As you asked for my advice, here it is: Cut it out before he gets into the resentment stage, if he’s not already there, as you apparently are.
Also, please consider that your repeatedly criticizing Jeremy’s parents where Jeremy sees no problem could damage not only your relationship with Jeremy, but also his and your relationship with his family.
We get to marry the person we marry. We don’t get to insist that they upgrade to a better (at least in our opinion) version. Trying to do so is not just disrespectful and a waste of time, it poisons the relationship.
So find a way to live with Jeremy as he is, or — if you find his acquiescent nature unbearable — leave. But don’t spend the rest of your marriage, or even another day, haranguing him about how you think he should behave.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
The best U.S. cities for LGBTQ homebuyers in 2025
Where strong equality scores, vibrant culture, attainable prices converge

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.
Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.
1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN
Median sale price: $317,500
Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.
2. Philadelphia
Median sale price: $227,667
Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.
3. Pittsburgh
Median sale price: $221,667
Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.
4. Tucson, Ariz.
Median sale price: $328,333
This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.
5. Madison, Wisc.
Median sale price: $413,867
Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.
6. Atlanta
Median sale price: $359,967
The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.
7. St. Petersburg, Fla.
Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.
8. Denver
Median sale price: $563,500
Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.
Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers
1. Build Your Dream Team Early
- Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
- Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.
2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations
- Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
- In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.
3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit
- Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
- Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.
4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism
- Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
- Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.
The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
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