Arts & Entertainment
Love in transition
Long-term couple shares story in moving memoir
(Image courtesy Bold Strokes Books)
‘Queerly Beloved: A Love Story Across Genders’
By Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall
Bold Strokes Books
$16.95
235 pages
Why do you stay with the one you love?
You can count the ways: he makes you laugh. She’s tender, kind and generous. You love being in his arms. He’s a good dancer. She’s hot.
There a million reasons to love, each as individual as the lovers. But what if your partner changed? What if it was a big change like the one in “Queerly Beloved” by Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall?
At first, says Diane Anderson-Minshall, it was “just supposed to be about sex.”
Suzy Minshall was a “hook-up,” a knock-out with long legs and blonde hair — just the type of woman Diane fell for. It didn’t take long for them to move in together or to become the “perfect lesbian couple.”
But Diane always knew that Suzy felt unsettled. She “tried on many things in the search for identity” but aside from a job she fiercely loved and sadly lost, there was something else, something different simmering in Suzy. Diane sensed it months before Suzy did but, though she was terrified of the imagined implications, she let Suzy come to a realization and reason herself.
Suzy wasn’t a lesbian, she was a man. But it was complicated.
As a woman, Suzy was a feminist and was deeply committed to the lesbian community. Diane was founder of and editor for several lesbian publications. It bothered Suzy (Jacob) a lot, during the transition, to think that he might no longer be a part of that which he’d embraced for much of his life.
Still, with the help of the woman he’d married four (or five, depending on who’s telling the story) times, Suzy (Jacob) continued with his transition.
He began with hormones, a name change, and “top surgery.” Diane, though she mourned what was lost, helped with a keen fashion sense and advice not to be “that kind of man.” Jacob spent time re-examining his life, noting that his gender dysphoria had been inherent for a long time, the clues scattered like “breadcrumbs.”
He’d never wanted to be a girl.
“I just wanted to be me,” he says, “in a male body.”
While undoubtedly moving, “Queerly Beloved” has problems.
My biggest irritation here was that authors Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall repeat themselves a lot. If the repetition had been cut from this already-short book, it would’ve nearly been a pamphlet. There’s also plenty of time spent on the authors’ personal reasoning with a doth-protest-too-much slant, and very intimate oversharing that comes after adamant vows of not sharing.
And yet, though the irritations made me wince, there’s a decent overall story here. Look harder and you’ll find a deeply personal look at transitioning from the aspect of both the transitioner and the person who’s loved him for most of their lives.
If you’re a sucker for romance, that right there could be enough reason to plunge into this book. Just be aware that “Queerly Beloved” might be one that’s tough to stay with.
The Victory Fund held its National Champagne Brunch at the Ritz-Carlton on Sunday, April 27. Speakers included Tim Gunn, Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), Gov. Wes Moore (D-Md.), Rep. Sarah McBride (D-Del.), Rep. Chris Pappas (D-N.H.) and Rep. Mark Takano (D-Calif.).
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Music & Concerts
Tom Goss returns with ‘Bear Friends Furever Tour’
Out singer/songwriter to perform at Red Bear Brewing Co.
Singer Tom Goss will bring his “Bear Friends Furever Tour” to D.C. on Sunday, June 8 at 8 p.m. at Red Bear Brewing Co.
Among the songs he will perform will be “Bear Soup,” the fourth installment in his beloved bear song anthology series. Following fan favorites like “Bears,” “Round in All the Right Places,” and “Nerdy Bear,” this high-energy, bass-thumping banger celebrates body positivity, joyful indulgence, and the vibrant spirit of the bear subculture.
For more details, visit Tom Goss’s website.
Friday, May 2
“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Social in the City” at 7 p.m. at P.F. Chang’s. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Saturday, May 3
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
LGBTQ People of Color Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgment free. There are all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more information and events for LGBTQ People of Color, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.
Sunday, May 4
“The Chateau Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Chicatana. Enjoy fabulous Mexican food and cocktails while being entertained by a rotating cast of the DMV’s best drag performers. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
“The Bubble: Queer Brooklyn Comics in DC” will be at 5 p.m. at As You Are. Queer comedians Charlie Flynn, Evan Lazarus and Keara Sullivan are coming down from NYC for a night of fun as they split an hour of standup comedy. For more details, visit Eventbrite.
Monday, May 5
“Center Aging Monday Coffee & Conversation” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].
Tuesday, May 6
Universal Pride Meeting will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group seeks to support, educate, empower, and create change for people with disabilities. For more details, email [email protected].
Wednesday, May 7
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Center Aging Women’s Social and Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older queer women can meet and socialize with one another. We will have discussion, activities, and a chance for you to share what you want future events to include. For more details, email [email protected].
Thursday, May 8
The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. To be fair with who is receiving boxes, the program is moving to a lottery system. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga with Sarah M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breath work, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.
South Asian Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. The peer support group is an outlet for South Asian-identified LGBTQ individuals to come and talk about anything affecting them. It’s a secure, judgment-free environment to discuss relationships, sexuality, health, well-being, identity, culture, religion, or anything that is on your mind. For more details, email [email protected].
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