Opinions
After car crash, rethinking life’s priorities
Realizing what’s important — and finally saying ‘I do’


Blade editor Kevin Naff after an August car crash.
Here’s the thing about being rushed to the hospital on a backboard and neck brace, covered in blood: It’ll change your perspective on what’s important.
On Aug. 26, I had just hailed a taxicab with a friend headed to gay night at Camden Yards in Baltimore to watch the Orioles close in on the AL East crown, when another driver ran a red light at full speed. We didn’t have time to fasten our seatbelts. He T-boned us, sending the sturdy Crown Vic over a curb, through a lamppost and ultimately into a rowhouse where we smashed through ground floor windows before finally coming to a stop.
My friend, the driver and I all walked away from the car. Looking back at photos of the wreckage, it’s miraculous that no one was killed. The cab driver had the benefit of airbags and suffered cuts to his face; my friend suffered a broken thumb and bruised ribs. It turns out while I was fine from the neck down, my face took the brunt of the crash. (I hesitate to use the word “accident,” because when you drive in a distracted manner at full speed and sail through red lights, what do you expect will happen?)
Shock and adrenaline kicked in immediately after the crash, as my initial thought was: We’re gonna need a new cab. Then something dripped into my eye and when I wiped my face, it dawned on me that I was bleeding profusely.
I broke several bones in my face, including the orbital around the left eye, and sustained a slew of deep cuts to my face that required so many stitches the ER doctors “lost count.”
Strapped to a stretcher, I was rushed to the ER as hospital officials greeted me with a slew of questions: “Are you married?” “Do you have an advance medical directive?”
I’m embarrassed to say the answer to both was “no,” despite a nearly 17-year relationship with my partner. We always seemed to have an excuse for putting off getting those affairs in order. When you’re healthy and (relatively) young, it’s so easy to procrastinate such things. Over the years, I’ve written about countless gay couples that found themselves in financially desperate situations after illness or accident because they weren’t married or lacked a medical directive. I’ve editorialized about the importance of marriage and other protections for LGBT people yet never got around to taking care of it for myself.
Lying there immobile and awaiting CT scans and X-rays with hospital staff buzzing frantically around, I felt like a hypocrite and worried about what would happen to my partner and family if I should die.
Two weeks later, doctors determined that I needed surgery to implant a titanium plate in my head to realign the bones. One of the broken bones severed a nerve, leaving me with no feeling on the left side of my face; my doctor gave me a 75 percent chance of regaining feeling there within nine to 12 months. And faced with hours of general anesthesia, more facial trauma and another long period of recovery, those mortality issues came rushing back. Upon check-in at the hospital, those same questions about marriage and advance directives were again asked.
I’m fortunate to have had terrific care at Sinai Hospital, a supportive partner, parents, siblings and friends. After a five-week ordeal, I’m on the mend, though facing much uncertainty about long-term vision problems and the potentially permanent nerve damage, as well as facial scars. But the scars don’t bother me. I’m grateful to be alive, to be able to walk and to have my vision. And I’m grateful for a second chance at so many things, including taking a more responsible approach to mortality and long-term financial planning.
Last weekend, my partner and I were married. We’d spent more than a year debating the details of the ceremony, the reception, guest list — all the details that seem so important on that all-important day.
In the end, we realized our wedding risked becoming more about those materialistic considerations and the expectations of others than about what we really wanted. And so, on Sept. 26 — exactly one month after the crash — we met the clerk of the peace on a quiet stretch of Rehoboth Beach under a flawless fall sky and exchanged simple vows, the bit about “in sickness and in health” carrying a special and deeper new meaning. It wasn’t the wedding of most couples’ dreams — we were barefoot and I wore sunglasses to conceal the extensive bruising around my eye — yet there was perfection in the simplicity of the setting and an overwhelming sense of gratitude to finally join an institution we’d been excluded from for so long. There was no guest list. No fancy reception or band or cake or any of those usual trappings. Just two people on a quiet beach committing to a life together.
“Marriage is a bond between two people who have pledged to love each other, trust each other, and face life together,” said the Sussex County clerk of the peace, John Brady. “There is no relationship that is stronger, yet more delicate, than the bonds of marriage.”
So we’re facing life together with a fresh point of view — and working on that advance medical directive. Take it from me: You’re not invincible or immune to life’s curve balls. There’s no guarantee that the hospital staff will recognize your partner as next of kin. Do all you can to protect yourself and loved ones now; it’ll save you a lot of added guilt and stress in the ER.
Kevin Naff is editor of the Washington Blade. Reach him at [email protected].
Opinions
New doc chronicles gay hero’s journey from rape to forgiveness
‘I Am’ embraces message of acceptance, love, compassion

Two award-winning filmmakers produced the documentary film “I Am.” It’s about my Hero’s Journey to overcome a trauma involving anti-LGBT bias. It also features the significant role that the popular comedian Stephen Colbert is playing in this 92,000-mile ongoing mission. A powerfully crafted and impactful film released just in time to celebrate Pride month.
The Arizona filmmakers Ethan and Aidan Sinconis are high school twin brothers. These strong LGBT allies were awarded the best student film in the U.S. in 2024, beating out more than 2,000 entries. The guys then followed up that major accomplishment by using their artistic talent to take on this bold, new film project telling my story to the world.
I shared my adventure with Blade readers back in late 2023 after I experienced a brutal rape and beating at the hands of three men who entered my Phoenix home. I sustained significant injuries.
It was determined that anti-LGBT bias was involved in the police response. I made a chilling 911 call for help. The dispatcher listened helplessly as I was being attacked during that phone call. The three men were surrounding me in the bloody crime scene when the four officers arrived. Three smoking guns. No arrests were made.
History has shown that LGBT folks can’t always rely on the criminal justice system to be there for us. But we can still find peace, happiness, love, and success. The film addresses how I’ve been doing that by continuing on this exhilarating and riveting journey that’s now taken me across the U.S. and Mexico in pursuit of my goal for 3,473 consecutive days and counting.
The film explains the connection to “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.” A fortuitous moment of laughter from that TV comedy show stopped me from dying by suicide at 10:44 p.m. on Nov. 2, 2015. That was the call to action I answered.
That spark sent me heading out on an adventure. To learn how to re-engage and trust people again after badly isolating. To learn how to process the anti-LGBT bias and trauma, and to get written support from total strangers in my dedicated mission to become a guest on “The Late Show” at 53rd and Broadway in NYC.
But this documentary is far more than a story about me and my efforts to escape the abyss, despair, and depression that had cloaked me in darkness for so long. This is also a story of 34,291 complete strangers from all walks of life coming together one at a time to help a guy in trouble.
The documentary has elements of the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” in it. Especially the memorable part where Uncle Billy tells George Bailey, “Mary did it, George. Mary did it. She told a few people you were in trouble, and they scattered all over town collecting money. They didn’t ask any questions. Just said if George is in trouble. Count on me.”
That’s what these 34,291 Good Samaritans did for me as I scattered all over the country meeting them. They didn’t ask any questions. They heard I was in trouble and trying to recover from the trauma and get to a goal. They each let me know through their kindness, hugs, and written words that I could count on them.
Perhaps what I like the most about the film is how Ethan and Aidan laid the foundation for who “I Am.” They show that I Am a brother, colleague, son, spouse, survivor, nephew, neighbor, grandson, uncle, friend, and cousin. I Am plenty more than just a gay man. I Am Blake.
Back in the summer of 2020, Pope Francis mailed a personal letter to me and expressed his gratitude for sharing my story with him. Gosh how I wish he was alive to see this completed film. It would have made his heart full. He was all about what this documentary represents. It’s not about revenge, anger, hatred, or sadness. It’s about acceptance, unity, love, empathy, compassion, and forgiveness.
It’s understandable for us in the LGBT community to want to respond with anger in situations like this. Our community has been through centuries of harassment, bullying, discrimination, and bias. But I’ve realized it’s more productive and healing to move past the anger. To use our energy to inform, entertain, and inspire individuals.
That’s what this documentary is about. A beautiful message of hope, support, and optimism for Pride month and beyond. A stand up and cheer film proudly coming out of our resilient community. Fingers crossed for an Academy Award nomination for “I Am.” Much deserved for a film very well done by Ethan and Aidan.
The documentary “I Am” can be found at SinconisStudios.com or on YouTube.
Ron Blake lives in Phoenix and can be reached at [email protected] or @BlakeLateShow on Instagram.
Opinions
US hate groups fuel anti-LGBTQ rights movement in Africa
Anti-LGBTQ conference took place this month in Nairobi

“Protecting and Promoting Family Values in Challenging Times.” This was the theme of the 2nd annual Pan-African Conference on Family Values that concluded last week in Nairobi, Kenya.
For months, organizers have been inundating local media with advertisements, promising to equip participants with tools to “safeguard our values.” One highly circulated poster even boasts U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio as a special invited guest (though he did not attend.) And each mention sent chills down our spines.
This conference, one of several planned across Africa, was sponsored by U.S.-based anti-rights groups including the Family Research Council, the Political Network for Values and the Center for Family and Human Rights, each known for targeting LGBTQI+ and reproductive rights worldwide. To those of us in the LGBTQI+ community who’ve been fighting rising homophobia, this conference was more than a convening. A gauntlet is being thrown down, one that will fuel the momentum of anti-rights efforts in Kenya, one that threatens all of Africa.
To be sure, this burden is not ours alone to bear. The actors pushing their bigoted agenda in Kenya and beyond are the same ones driving policies that block abortion access, whip up anti-immigration sentiments and spread transphobia in the U.S. and beyond. It is imperative that all communities (local and international) jealously guard against such maneuvering. These hatemongers are taking aim at our sovereignty and social constructs. They seek to woo with the proverbial beads and cloth, while simultaneously annexing that which we hold dear. This is not just an LGBTQI+ issue. This is about our inherent human rights and dignity. We need to hold the line.
In Kenya, we knew our hard-won gains for the LGBTQI+ community were in jeopardy when President William Ruto came into office in 2022. He has since been very vocal about his conservative views, perhaps reluctant to alienate himself from his predominantly Christian religious leader sycophants. Nevertheless, we’ve won significant legal battles in recent years, including in 2023 when the Kenyan Supreme Court ruled that LGBT organizations can legally register with words like “gay” and “lesbian” in their names.
Over the years, however, the anti-rights movement has been cultivating allies across Africa to further their agenda. Organizations like Family Watch International, Center for Family and Human Rights and the World Congress of Families (all deemed hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center) have made inroads with influential political leaders with talk of the “natural family,” a narrative that espouses the Western ideal of a nuclear family. In reality, these views run counter to traditional African communal views on family. It is ironic, therefore, that anti-rights actors accuse the gay rights movement of importing Western ideas even as they are readily adopting Western cultural norms.
Our political leaders are being indoctrinated into a culture of hate and division. And global convenings, like the Pan-African Conference on Family Values, are chief among their propaganda tools. In fact, it was after attending one such gathering, the “V Transatlantic Summit” in New York in 2023, that Kenyan MP Peter Kaluma proposed the Family Protection Bill which seeks to ban same-sex relationships and curtail sexual and reproductive health rights, among other measures.
In the past, we could count on the U.S. to keep our political leaders in check. Not anymore. President Trump’s attacks on the queer community in the U.S. have only emboldened the anti-queer movement in Kenya. Anti-rights groups are coming back with renewed vigor to amend our constitution and dismantle all human rights protections. They are already instigating violence and stirring anti-gay sentiment, particularly on social media. Kenyans are losing their jobs or being overly scrutinized at work. An ever-increasing number of LGBTQ+ community members access our online mental health services in deep distress and anxiety about the future.
We will not back down, however. Ahead of the conference, we delivered a petition signed by more than two dozen human rights activists and groups lambasting Kenya Red Cross for allowing the Pan-African Conference on Family Values to be held at its property, the Boma Hotel. How can an organization dedicated to the health and wellbeing of marginalized groups be complicit in an event that stigmatizes and incites harm against the very same people? We’ve also been organizing and strategizing with our allies around community safety, legal rights, hate crime monitoring, and resource mobilization.
Make no mistake, this hate will not stop with Kenya. This conference was part of a larger playbook, and any victories here will propel the anti-right’s cruel campaign throughout Africa. We only need to look to our neighbor Uganda and their Anti-Homosexuality Act as proof. It is widely known that Family Watch International influenced the drafting of this law. The same language that criminalizes homosexuality and imposes the death penalty in certain cases was copied and pasted into Kenya’s proposed Family Protection Bill.
Life and liberty as we all know it is very much in jeopardy. Some may be living too much in survival mode to see it. But without a doubt, we are all on a rollercoaster ride to a place where no one is safe.
Lorna Dias is the outgoing executive coordinator of galck+, a coalition of 18 LGBTQ+ organizations defending human rights and fighting for equality and justice for all in Kenya. Melody Njuki is a communications officer at Initiative for Equality and Non-Discrimination (INEND).
Opinions
WorldPride begins — let’s hope it ends well
D.C. events kick off despite boycotts, Trump attacks

As WorldPride begins with Trans Pride on May 17,, we can only hope when it is over on June 9t we will all be raving about its success.
When D.C. first got designated as host city in November 2022, after Taiwan didn’t work out, there were initial estimates of 2.5 to 3 million people showing up in D.C. to party and celebrate. We talked about this 50th anniversary of Pride as celebrating five decades of advocacy, visibility, and unity, for the LGBTQ community in Washington, D.C., honoring the past, celebrating the present, and inspiring the future.
Anticipation was greatly tempered when Trump, the felon, racist, anti-trans homophobe, liar, and all-around SOB, won the election in November 2024. Then the planning became more difficult and stressful. But here we are and the excitement is palpable. The signs are up around D.C. and Mayor Muriel Bowser, who has been so great for the LGBTQ community, is walking a tightrope to keep D.C. afloat, never knowing what the felon in the White House will do next. To her credit, she is doing an amazing job keeping him at bay. But his vicious anti-trans positions, and his general homophobia, have put a cloud over WorldPride. His immigration policies have led countries around the world to tell their citizens to be very wary if they come to the United States. It is projected as foreign tourists stay away, the United States could lose $12.5 billion this year.
Despite all that, the people at Capital Pride Alliance, who are running WorldPride, have done a commendable job of putting together a program for everyone. From the Human Rights Conference, to the parade, to the festival, where Cynthia Erivo will perform. Shakira will be doing the opening concert at Nat’s stadium, and there are more superstars at the dance party at the RFK site, that should be the site of the new Commanders domed stadium by 2030.
But let us never forget all this is taking place at a time when the United States has a president who is creating havoc in the world and embarrassing us even among our allies. He is a liar and a grifter, a man who thinks nothing of putting people’s lives in danger whether it is sending people illegally to prisons in El Salvador, or creating a culture so nasty, a trans person takes their life in their hands just walking down the street.
He surrounds himself with people like Stephen Miller who wants to suspend habeas corpus, and his Nazi sympathizing co-president, Elon Musk, who just got Trump to invite a bunch of racist South Africans to move here. It’s going on while we have a Secretary of HHS, RFK, Jr., who takes his grandchildren swimming in a polluted creek, and tells others to risk their children’s lives by avoiding vaccines. A president who has cut $800 million in grants from NIH meant to do research to save lives in the LGBTQ community, along with cutting grants and programs that have worked successfully to save people in Africa from dying of HIV/AIDS, malaria, and polio. This is what we are dealing with. Like it or not, this is the backdrop to WorldPride 2025.
Yet, if we give in to this horror, we make it even worse. WorldPride is a way we say to people here in the United States, and those around the world, we in the LGBTQ community are never going back into the closet. We are proud, we are smart, and we are valuable. We make the world a better place, and we will continue to do so despite the pig who occasionally sits in the Oval Office when he is not out golfing or grifting. We can never allow the gay Republicans who make excuses for him, the gay Secretary of the Treasury who has yet to speak out for his community, to go unchallenged. Their silence hurts us as much as the felon sitting in the Oval Office because as the Blade wrote, they are traitors. It is unfortunate, but once again the slogan silence = death has never been more real.
So, speak up, speak out, never stay quiet. Let the world know you are here, and you care. Your life is important and fuck them if they don’t understand that or value it.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.